Memorial Day Weekend Palns

[BSmack]

Friday 10AM- Leave for 4 days of family fun in Vermont. The weather forecast looks good, so my brother and I should be able to get some quality time in on the links. When not golfing we'll be cooking some meat on the grill and enjoying doing absolutely nothing in particular.

[peter dragon]

Monday - 9:30 p.m. - 9:34 p.m. - nail the wife and go to bed

how do you hold out so long?

mabey i should have sent this in a pm...

[Ken]

Friday
4:00-8:00 PM- Helps GF's sister move into new house
8:00-9:30- Eat mucho pizza and drink some beer
9:30-whenever- Screw GF
Whenever-whenever- go downstairs and watch tv, then bed

Saturday
9:00 AM- wake up, coffee, smoke, shit
11:00-1:00 or so- help with gardening outside
1:00-4:00 or so- help GF's sis finish moving in
4:00-6:00- relax on back patio w/beer/wine/gf/smokes
6:30-8:00- BBQ
8:00-10:00- settle in and watch the Pens game, probably fuck the GF at some point.
Bed

Sunday
9:00 AM- wake up, coffee, smoke, shit
sometime in the morn- meet GF's sis's for river kayaking
sometime in the late afternoon- golf 9 holes w/gf
sometime that eve- bbq
sometime that eve- fuck gf

Monday
Sleep/drink/relax most of day, watch Pens later in the eve.

[Wolfman]

eat- relax-eat- relax-eat-relax
with intervals of beer and swimming in my pool
(repeat)
Life is good--- have a nice weekend everyone !

[RumpleForeskin]

Saturday
8:00am-8:45am - wake up, walk the dog, shower
8:45am - 9:15am - grab a couple of toquitos from Whataburger and head over to the boat storage
9:15am - noon - hitch pops-in-law's Glastron, take it to the house, clean it, and service it.
noon - 1:15pm - eat some sammiches (turkey and swiss probably) and rest a bit
1:15 - 6pm - take the boat out on the lake for some family fun
6pm - midnight - play mario kart, get fucked up in the process, eat some Butterburgers and fuck the shit out of Mrs. Rumps (save the jokes, fags)

Sunday
8:00am - 9:30am - wake up, make a protein shake and go work out at the Y
9:30am - 10:30am - get home, shower, and eat a little somethin'
10:30am - 2:30pm - take the Glastron back out for some water skiing and tubing
2:30pm - 4:00pm - marinate some steaks and snakc on some stuff while drinking some Corona
4:00pm - whenever - grill the steaks, eat, and chill

Monday
Go work out and then chill the rest of the day.

[PSUFAN]

I'll be attending my first (and probably last) Pirates game of the season this evening. The in-laws love PNC park, so we're all headed there for fireworks, hot dogs, $8 Bud Rices and some inept baseball.

Monday we're having some folks over for grub and booze.

[Goober McTuber]

fuck the shit out of Mrs. Rumps

Wrong hole. Roll her over.

[OCmike]

Tonight - on-call at work (Fuck!)
Tomorrow - on-call at work (Fuck!)
Sunday - on-call at work (Fuck!)
Monday - on-call at work getting double-time all day (Fukkin RACK!)

[PSUFAN]

fuck the shit out of Mrs. Rumps

Wrong hole. Roll her over.

You've seen her pic. That might not be practical.

[Dinsdale]

fuck the shit out of Mrs. Rumps

Wrong hole. Roll her over.

You've seen her pic. That might not be practical.

He needs to enlist WW's help, and bring in a rumpleforklift and have an experienced forklift jockey do the job according to the Marital Safety and Health Adminstration standards... only after passing a drug screening, of course.

[Dinsdale]

I may try to smoke some beef ribs

Do you roll those, or is that a bong-only dealio?

They don't sell weed in Northern California anymore?

I imagine when the dog eats your stash, it isn't quite the same comedy gold with ribs.

[MgoBlue-LightSpecial]

Got it covered...

Almost, but not quite.

Sin,

[Mikey]

Wifey is going away with her friends for a "scrapbooking" trip this weekend. When the fuck did "scrapbooking" become a verb?

You got the kids this weekend. We're going scrapbooking. TeeHeeHee

translation: A bunch of us girls are going to dump our kids off on our idiot husbands and go up to a cabin to drink untold bottles of wine all day and compare significant other's dick sizes to shampoo bottles. We might glue some pictures to a piece of cardboard as well.

Other than taking the kids to the A's game tomorrow night, my schedule is open and shut at the same time. I may try to smoke some beef ribs while I turn the yard apes loose in the backyard, but that's about a freaky as it gets.

Around here if you try to buy beef ribs at the grocery store they have almost no meat left on them. They must take one of those Dremel tools to get every last possible scrap of edible carcass from between the bones to throw into the ground beef bin. Those bones are only good for dogs by then.

Too bad because I loves me some nice meaty bbq prime rib bones.

[Dinsdale]

Too bad they don't do drug screenings before one signs a marriage license in Texas.


Because it would take a sheet of acid, mulitple e-bombs, a keg of beer, and a concave funhouse mirror before I'd possibly slur out the words "I'd hit that... forever."

[RumpleForeskin]

This did not go well for me.

[Dinsdale]

Something ever has?

[RumpleForeskin]

Something ever has?

I don't reside in the U&L. That's pretty good.

[Tom In VA]

They just need to rebuild you completely.

JSC "The Bionic Barrister"

Hope you feel better.

[War Wagon]

He needs to enlist WW's help, and bring in a rumpleforklift and have an experienced forklift jockey do the job according to the Marital Safety and Health Adminstration standards... only after passing a drug screening, of course.

Why do you hate forklifts?

[Dinsdale]

I don't reside in the U&L.

Obviously. It's evident from the fact people aren't buying seats for charter salmon trips out of Depoe Bay on the USS Rumplewife.

[Mister Bushice]

Got it covered...

Almost, but not quite.

Sin,

You're both off by a little. It takes a village:

[Wolfman]

dayum Jsc---what the hell are those ??
vise grips or pipe wrenches ??

[Dinsdale]

As far as my weekend palns...

I had it all figured out. Me and Fast had planned to go running around robbing banks all wacked off of scooby snacks.


But then, we realized that banks are closed for the holiday weekend, so I guess I'll play some golf instead.

[PSUFAN]

He needs to enlist WW's help, and bring in a rumpleforklift and have an experienced forklift jockey do the job according to the Marital Safety and Health Adminstration standards... only after passing a drug screening, of course.

Can't he just strip mine her?

This calls for a change in policy. Rumps needs his nut. The enviro whackos and preservationists can get fucked.

[Ken]

He needs to enlist WW's help, and bring in a rumpleforklift and have an experienced forklift jockey do the job according to the Marital Safety and Health Adminstration standards... only after passing a drug screening, of course.

Can't he just strip mine her?

This calls for a change in policy. Rumps needs his nut. The enviro whackos and preservationists can get fucked.

OSHA would surely have something to say about that. Chance for a tragic collapse would be too great.

[Goober McTuber]

He needs to enlist WW's help, and bring in a rumpleforklift and have an experienced forklift jockey do the job according to the Marital Safety and Health Adminstration standards... only after passing a drug screening, of course.

Can't he just strip mine her?

This calls for a change in policy. Rumps needs his nut. The enviro whackos and preservationists can get fucked.

OSHA would surely have something to say about that. Chance for a tragic collapse would be too great.

At least Rumple’s been able to hold onto his wife. Thanks to a number of OSHA-approved harnesses and fall arrest systems.

[Dinsdale]

I'll be attending my first (and probably last) Pirates game of the season this evening. The in-laws love PNC park, so we're all headed there for fireworks, hot dogs, $8 Bud Rices and some inept baseball.

Is Donny Iris playing a post-game concert?

Isn't that a big part of the "complete" yinz experience?

[Dinsdale]

I believe Mrs Rumps has actually been declared a sovereign nation by the UN, so she's exempt from OSHA regulation.

[Dinsdale]

OK, a new plan for some point this weekend has developed --

Illegally produce some honey oil.


MMMMMMM..... honey oil... Manna from Stoner Heaven.

[PSUFAN]

Donnie Iris will not be playing. Joe Grushecky is a maybe.

I'll sit in fair ball territory, so there will be no chance of being hit by a Pirate ball. If a Cub ball hits me, I'll sue itsanalias.

If a Cubfan ball hits Katy, she'll just put another notch in her lipstick case.

[RumpleForeskin]

Change of plans for the weekend...

I've reserved plane tickets to western Pennsylvania, then to Michigan, then Wisconsin, and finally the U&L to murder 4 people to be named later.

[Dinsdale]

Alrighty then.

My advice:

Pack a lunch.


Don't have your OL do it, either -- the plane might not get off the ground.

[PSUFAN]

Is this your way of announcing that you've joined The Crew?

Maybe you guys can travel tucked into one of RumpleBeast's flab nooks. I bet her expanse cancels out GPS tracking devices...

[The Whistle Is Screaming]

Dins,
He said he was reserving plane tickets, not chartering a C-130, so you must have known MT Rumplewife was staying put.

Rumps, stop by NY and I'll buy you a beer or 8 and even send a little care package home for the Mrs (we heebs don't use the back half of the cow, so we have some extras you can take).

Rack 88!

Have a great weekend all!