(!)Wags annual float/camping trip(!)

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Fri Jun 27, 2008 3:31 am

I just hope it doesn't rain. Nothing fucks up a float/camping trip like incessant rain.

Tom In VA · Post by **Tom In VA** » Fri Jun 27, 2008 3:58 am

Well Fuck You.

I'll be refactoring code and trying to tune an application so the shit doesn't hit the fan this year like it did last year. I"ll be locked in the house at least, drinking Diet Coke and munching on legumes and I might treat myself to some crab legs or crab cakes.

The wife's taking our baybay to see his grand parents so I'll be alone. Just me, AJAX, some web services, a shit load of stored procedures AND maybe a bottle of Neutrogena if I can't focus.

It'd be nice to view some fresh T&A from the MILFS on your "Deliverance Run" weekend. BUT NO.

Selfish. Where's the Christian charity dude ? You're going to make me google fake naked pics of Jessica Alba ?

Have a good time dude.

Mister Bushice · Post by **Mister Bushice** » Fri Jun 27, 2008 4:02 am

War Wagon wrote:Buncha' my buddies from work and their wifes (read: MILF's) .

Sorry to hear your wife is so fugly that you look forward to a weekend trip where you can imagine fucking all your friends wifes.

Not surprised, though. You ARE quite a catch*.

*If I was a Farmer, I'd pay $ to shove a stick up your back and shove you out in a cornfield.

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Fri Jun 27, 2008 4:22 am

Mister Bushice wrote: Sorry to hear your wife is so fugly that you look forward to a weekend trip where you can imagine fucking all your friends wifes.

Actually, Mister Buzzkill, my wifey is the hottest MILF of them all. She's been hitting the gym and the tanning booth preparing for this. You only wish you could get with something as sizzling hot as my wife, chump. Stay the fuck away from my tent.

But some of the girls you see on that river aren't mothers, and my pencil neck will be on a swivel. Good thing I'm in the back of the boat.

Mister Bushice · Post by **Mister Bushice** » Fri Jun 27, 2008 4:27 am

War Wagon wrote: Good thing I'm in the back of the boat.

Dead weight always is.

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Fri Jun 27, 2008 4:41 am

Tom In VA wrote: Have a good time dude.

Thanks, I most assuredly will. Best part is, after returning home, I'm on vacation all next week for the July 4th week-end. 10 motherfucking days off from the forklift rat race.

Don't worry, I'll report back with some of the more lurid details. Toss Bitchshice some more softballs to go ~~yard~~ miniature golfing on.

Mister Bushice · Post by **Mister Bushice** » Fri Jun 27, 2008 5:16 am

Lurid details? Please. Your vaguely recalled trips to the shitter to barf up bud light and meat chunks, and jerk tales of what you'd do to the "attractive" women on the trip if they let you close enough hardly qualify as lurid.

And please spare us the tales of how hot your wife is while you spend all your time ogling your buddies wives like a skull on a stick.

Be stupid.
Get drunk.

No one will notice anything different.

Then come back and post a PET of the place, and the food before you upchuck it. If possible, drop in some midget pics (but leave your dick out of those), a few sneak titty shots, drunk chicks that aren't fat and you're good. No one needs to see your scarecrow grill, or your brown muscled wife.

Just remember that fat stupid drunk people is no way to go through a PET, son.

Tom In VA · Post by **Tom In VA** » Fri Jun 27, 2008 5:23 am

Mister Bushice wrote:a few sneak titty shots

Word

I'm ready.

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Fri Jun 27, 2008 1:16 pm

Well, at least one dude is getting excited up in this thread. Don't hurt yourself, Tom.

Wags - is your wife a squirter?

trev · Post by **trev** » Fri Jun 27, 2008 2:04 pm

PSUFAN wrote:Well, at least one dude is getting excited up in this thread. Don't hurt yourself, Tom.

Nailed it.

Wags, aren't you a little old to be spending your vacation redneck yacht clubbing it up on the river? Take a step up and take her on a cruise or something. See the world.

P.S. Have fun!

Tom In VA · Post by **Tom In VA** » Fri Jun 27, 2008 2:48 pm

trev wrote:
PSUFAN wrote:Well, at least one dude is getting excited up in this thread. Don't hurt yourself, Tom.

Nailed it.

I love it when you talk dirty.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Fri Jun 27, 2008 3:56 pm

War Wagon wrote:She's been hitting the gym and the tanning booth preparing for this.

Eeek. I'd hate to see Wifey Wagon the other 364 days of the year.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Fri Jun 27, 2008 4:32 pm

R-Jack wrote:

Nice river, but what is that wet substance inside of it?

/sin/

Most any camping spot in Northern Cali.

And why is the surface of the water all smooth like that?

Sin,
Not The Midwest

'Round these parts we have another name for people who take canoes down rivers... we call them "dead."

indyfrisco · Post by **indyfrisco** » Fri Jun 27, 2008 4:59 pm

trev wrote:Take a step up and take her on a cruise or something. See the world.

True dat.

Camping and going down the river should be done with your kids a few times, when you're in college or possibly a guys only trip to get the hell out of the house (though I prefer Vegas trips and not Deliverance trips.)

Married adult trips should involve access to rooms with keys, not zippers.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Fri Jun 27, 2008 5:15 pm

IndyFrisco wrote:Married adult trips should involve access to rooms with keys, not zippers.

Sad take.

The finer things ain't always the most elaborate or expensive.

I'll even RACK Wags' OL for "getting it"... and not just from the unemployed neighbor across the street.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Fri Jun 27, 2008 5:28 pm

Camping and river floating is a good time. I don't care about your age or your marital status. If you can't appreciate the outdoors, I genuinely feel sorry for you. Even still, I'm sure Wags breaks out his posh polo once a quarter or so for a lovely Friday evening at the Golden Corral.

Mister Bushice · Post by **Mister Bushice** » Fri Jun 27, 2008 5:30 pm

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:
War Wagon wrote:She's been hitting the gym and the tanning booth preparing for this.
Eeek. I'd hate to see Wifey Wagon the other 364 days of the year.

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Fri Jun 27, 2008 5:31 pm

I'm attacking what my wife has zippered up - at home or away.

Zipper sounds probably have a Pavlovian effect on each of us - in differing ways.

PSUFAN prepares for an onslaught of feminine charms.
Tom in VA shakes the lotion bottle.
Dinsdale knows he'll be picking parking lot gravel out of his knees.
IRIE anticipates the ripe smell of dimehole in the room, and wipes his eyeglasses clean.
trev knows to get the towel on top of the bedspread.
PrimeX sets out the dates and baklava - hopeless gestures.
Stanley Q. Pickle gets out the djembe and hopes that blood can be a good lube.
mvscal puts in earplugs that are conveniently set out like candies by the Vogels.
88 puts in a plug.
Wolfman hopes the wax gasket seal is up to the coming stress.

RumpleForeskin · Post by **RumpleForeskin** » Fri Jun 27, 2008 5:34 pm

Do me! Do me!

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Fri Jun 27, 2008 5:36 pm

You may drink a finer wine
You might drive a better car
But I'll get there just as fast
And I'll be just as drunk as you are

http://download.yousendit.com/9C8044380FFF7E21" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

indyfrisco · Post by **indyfrisco** » Fri Jun 27, 2008 5:43 pm

Dinsdale wrote:
IndyFrisco wrote:Married adult trips should involve access to rooms with keys, not zippers.
Sad take.

The finer things ain't always the most elaborate or expensive.

I don't mind camping out with my buds. Every year we go camp out and pull 35-40 lb. snapping turtles out of riverbeds with our bare hands. I would never, ever, take my wife camping again as she bitched and moaned the entire time about bugs, lack of showers and no pizza delivery. And you kow what? I like it that way.

These bitches are mean...and I'm not talking about Mr. Camaro Mullet.

Mister Bushice · Post by **Mister Bushice** » Fri Jun 27, 2008 5:52 pm

IndyFrisco wrote: I don't mind camping out with my buds. Every year we go camp out and pull 35-40 lb. snapping turtles out of riverbeds with our bare hands.

You should fight Zyclone.

orcinus · Post by **orcinus** » Fri Jun 27, 2008 5:55 pm

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Fri Jun 27, 2008 5:55 pm

Dang, I'm redneck enough that getting liquored up and going roadsign hunting from a moving vehicle seems like an acceptable form of entertainment.

I guess I'm not necky enough to see the value in turtle wrangling.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Fri Jun 27, 2008 5:59 pm

BTW-for the edification of the Flyover, this is what a float trip is supposed to look like:

And with possible triple-digit temps for the weekend, combined with freakishly cold water for this time of year, Darwin is gonna get him some this weekend.

indyfrisco · Post by **indyfrisco** » Fri Jun 27, 2008 6:08 pm

Dinsdale wrote:I guess I'm not necky enough to see the value in turtle hunting.

ftfy.

Actually need a fishing license to turtle hunt. We walk the creeks pushing our hands into the mud in prime locations for a turtle to be hangning out. Once you feel the shell, you know it. You then work your hands to the edge of the shell. You work your finger tips around the outside of the shell until you feel the two little points. That is where the tail is...you hope. I've only been bitten once and it was on my finger tip. Had a bud who got his whole hand in the turtle's mouth. Fucked him up good.

Damn good eats. Maybe after next Spring's trip I'll have to do a PET on turtle hunting and one after the turtle fry. We usually score about 25-30 turtles. We put them in old horse troughs with fresh water as these things live buried in the beds of stagnant shallow creeks. All kinda nasty in them. We leave them in the troughs for about 2 weeks chanigng out the water every couple days. Then it is slaughter time.

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Fri Jun 27, 2008 6:18 pm

RumpleForeskin wrote:Do me! Do me!

Famous last words. Maybe Rumplelith will be kind enough to have that carved on your headstone.

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Fri Jun 27, 2008 6:20 pm

rhymenocerous wrote::x

Thanks for just about nothing.

The Whistle Is Screaming · Fri Jun 27, 2008 6:25 pm

PSUFAN wrote:
RumpleForeskin wrote:Do me! Do me!

Famous last words. Maybe Rumplelith will be kind enough to have that carved on your headstone.

Not quite right with this one, PSU. "Do me! Do me!" will be the last words Mt. Rumplewife will hear RF say. Once under the flabs of silence his actual last mutterings (likely screams for help) will be so muffled even he won't hear them.

.m2 · Post by **.m2** » Fri Jun 27, 2008 6:35 pm

War Wagon wrote:Buncha' my buddies from work and their wifes (read: MILF's)

By the way, these don't exist in Kansas City. Trust me.

I guess it's a matter of perspective, and if you consider milking large farm animals hot. I actually sent Rumpthewhale tickets to get his family back home now that his mission is complete in Houston.

On a side note.... it would sure be nice to see Northern California not pretending to be Southern California like it has for the last week or so. Although the sunsets have been rather nice. The first words out of most peoples mouths as the day starts, is how it looks like LA here. Then we'll "chuckle" a bit knowing that things will get better while there's not a chance in hell things will ever get better in that cesspool known as Southern California.

One day we'll do the world a favor and just cut the water off.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Fri Jun 27, 2008 6:37 pm

.m2 wrote:One day we'll do the world a favor and just cut the water off.

Can't. Stop. Laughing.

Sin,
Oregon... that state where the switch to much of NoCal's water is located

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Fri Jun 27, 2008 6:53 pm

Actually, a friend's relative (uncle, I think) is the dude who actually operates the switches/regulators and whatsuch at the Klamath Lakes.

He just does what he's told by the Corps, but daaaaamn... talk about being the most hated guy in Southern Oregon/Northern california (an area also known at the State of Jefferson... and the seceessionists are still alive and well in that "neck" of the woods... interesting story, that of Jefferson State... they actually had their ducks in a row and claimed secession from the USA to Congress... on December 6, 1941... it kinda got put on the back burner, and still sits on the back burner).

Hell, the guys on Axe Men make fun of the So-Orgs and the Upper NoCals for being necks.

.m2 · Post by **.m2** » Fri Jun 27, 2008 6:54 pm

Dinsdale wrote:
.m2 wrote:One day we'll do the world a favor and just cut the water off.

Can't. Stop. Laughing.

Sin,
Oregon... that state where the switch to much of NoCal's water is located

Other than this year (driest in recorded history) we usually do fine with the Sierra, Cascades, and the Coastal Mountain ranges. Oh, and the fact that it actually does rain here unlike Southern California. That's kinda why we have this thing called "green" grass on our mountains, with the biggest and tallest trees in the world.

We've done you guys a favor up in Oregon by sending our least brightest kids up to go to school at the Univ. of Oregon (my brother is a graduate) and now a software programmer in Sausalito.

We can just as easily cut you off, and start sending the kids from Southern California (socaltrojan and friends).

Edit: That was just mean.

Opps, to late.

Dinsdale wrote:
.m2 wrote:We can just as easily cut you off, and start sending the kids from Southern California (socaltrojan and friends).

A little late for that... they're already here.

Smashed up cars the first rainy day of fall out front should have told you.

I thought you guys had rules in place to keep the vermin out ?

Looks like the high gas prices are effecting all sectors of society.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Fri Jun 27, 2008 6:55 pm

.m2 wrote:We can just as easily cut you off, and start sending the kids from Southern California (socaltrojan and friends).

A little late for that... they're already here.

Smashed up cars the first rainy day of fall out front should have told you.

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Fri Jun 27, 2008 7:18 pm

More Zipper Pavlov:

TWIS thinks "damn, we must be out of sheets"
orc assumes the Royals position
RtS cries until he gets bored of it, and resumes drooling
Ken knows his wife is getting laid
AP hopes Y2Koresh filled the suitcase with new frilly bits
Rumps gets his flak jacket on
kcdave dons his catchers' mitt
perk looks waaay up
ppanther looks waay down
biggie sets out tea for cuda

Mister Bushice · Post by **Mister Bushice** » Fri Jun 27, 2008 7:21 pm

PSUFAN wrote: biggie sets out for teabagging with cuda

You were very close.

orcinus · Post by **orcinus** » Sat Jun 28, 2008 1:31 am

PSUFAN wrote:
rhymenocerous wrote::x
Thanks for just about nothing.

You don't bring me flowers ....

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Sat Jun 28, 2008 2:12 am

rhymenocerous wrote:
PSUFAN wrote:
rhymenocerous wrote::x
Thanks for just about nothing.
You don't bring me flowers ....

Fuckin' classy.

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Sat Jun 28, 2008 2:33 am

rhymenocerous wrote:
PSUFAN wrote:
rhymenocerous wrote::x
Thanks for just about nothing.
You don't bring me flowers ....

"Parlez-vous Français?"

"...uh...no."

orcinus · Post by **orcinus** » Sat Jun 28, 2008 2:48 am

Beautiful.