Money

It's the 19th Anniversary for T1B - Fuckin' A

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Sirfindafold
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Joined: Sat Jan 15, 2005 4:08 pm

Money

Post by Sirfindafold »

John, the farmer, was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young layers (hens), also called 'pullets,' and ten roosters,
whose job it was to fertilize the eggs. The farmer
kept records, and any rooster that didn't perform went into the soup pot and was replaced.

That took an awful lot of his time, so he bought a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters.
Each bell had a different tone so John could tell from a distance which rooster was performing.

Now he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report simply by listening to the bells.

The farmer's favorite rooster was old Butch, a very fine specimen. But on this particular morning, John noticed old Butch's bell hadn't rung at all.

John went to investigate. The other roosters were chasing pullets all over the place with bells-a-ringing. The pullets, upon hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover. But to Farmer John's amazement, old Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring.

He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.

John was so proud of old Butch, he entered him in the Renfrew County Fair, and he became an overnight sensation among the judges.

The result...

The judges not only awarded old Butch the No Bell Piece Prize, but they awarded him the Pulletsurprise as well.


:bode:
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Mikey
Carbon Neutral since 1955
Posts: 31665
Joined: Sat Jan 15, 2005 6:06 pm
Location: Paradise

Re: Money

Post by Mikey »

Money
Get away
You get a good job with good pay and you're okay
Money
It's a gas
Grab that cash with both hands and make a stash
New car, caviar, four star daydream
Think I'll buy me a football team

Money
Well, get back
I'm all right Jack
Keep your hands off of my stack
Money
It's a hit
Don't give me that do goody good bullshit
I'm in the high-fidelity first class travelling set
I think I need a Lear jet

Money
It's a crime
Share it fairly
But don't take a slice of my pie
Money
So they say
Is the root of all evil today
But if you ask for a raise
It's no surprise that they're giving none away

"HuHuh! I was in the right!"
"Yes, absolutely in the right!"
"I certainly was in the right!"
"You was definitely in the right. That geezer was cruising for a bruising!"
"Yeah!"
"Why does anyone do anything?"
"I don't know, I was really drunk at the time!"
"I was just telling him, he couldn't get into number 2. He was asking why he wasn't coming up on freely, after I was yelling and screaming and telling him why he wasn't coming up on freely. It came as a heavy blow, but we sorted the matter out"
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Diego in Seattle
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Re: Money

Post by Diego in Seattle »

“Left Seater” wrote:So charges are around the corner?
9/27/22
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Smackie Chan
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Re: Money

Post by Smackie Chan »

Help me out here, Mike. What was the intended reaction supposed to be? "Oh, that Mikey. He's so fucking clever." And what was the thought process that led you to believe it might be worthwhile to post the lyrics to a song with which everyone is familiar, even though it has zippy to do with thread other than its title? I mean, I think we'd all understand if you at least tried to parody the song and work in a poultry angle, but no. Just a straight c&p job. Nice work, champ.
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Dinsdale
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Location: Rip City

Re: Money

Post by Dinsdale »

Help me out here, Smackie. What was the intended reaction supposed to be? "Oh, that Smackie, he's so fucking observant." And what was the thought process that led you to believe it might be worthwhile to post a response to point out the idea that Mikey is a humorless halfwit that everyone knows is a humorless halfwit, even though he had zippy to do with the thread besides posting idiocy in it?


Fun game, champ.


Who's next?

I got 99 problems but the 'vid ain't one
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Mikey
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Posts: 31665
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Re: Money

Post by Mikey »

Smackie Chan wrote:Help me out here, Mike. What was the intended reaction supposed to be? "Oh, that Mikey. He's so fucking clever." And what was the thought process that led you to believe it might be worthwhile to post the lyrics to a song with which everyone is familiar, even though it has zippy to do with thread other than its title? I mean, I think we'd all understand if you at least tried to parody the song and work in a poultry angle, but no. Just a straight c&p job. Nice work, champ.
No reaction intended or expected at all, Smakie, though yours was brilliant I must say.

Name of the thread.
Name of the song.

Nothing more. Nothing less.

Unfortunately I don't have time at work to write beautiful poetry, so I just have to do what I can. If you don't think it's either brilliant or funny then, well, I apologize for wasting all your precious time. I'm really really sorry that I completely destroyed a thread that apparently seemed to you to be so pregnant with possibility, before it even had a chance to really take off.

At any rate, as Eyore once said...thanks for noticin' me.
Last edited by Mikey on Sat Aug 23, 2008 4:48 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Mikey
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Posts: 31665
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Location: Paradise

Re: Money

Post by Mikey »

Oh, and dinsdale...GFY in the U&L.
Goober McTuber
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Posts: 25891
Joined: Mon Jan 17, 2005 1:07 pm

Re: Money

Post by Goober McTuber »

Dinsdale wrote:Fun game, champ.

Who's next?

Out here in the fields
I farm for my meals
I get my back into my living.
I don't need to fight
To prove I'm right
I don't need to be forgiven.
yeah,yeah,yeah,yeah,yeah

Don't cry
Don't raise your eye
It's only teenage wasteland

Sally, take my hand
We'll travel south cross land
Put out the fire
And don't look past my shoulder.
The exodus is here
The happy ones are near
Let's get together
Before we get much older.

Teenage wasteland
It's only teenage wasteland.
Teenage wasteland
Oh, yeah
Teenage wasteland
They're all wasted!
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socal
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Re: Money

Post by socal »

We'll be smacking in the streets
With our tardlings at our feet
And the morals that they worship will be gone
And the Chan who spurred us on
Judging Mikey in the wrong
He decides and the Dinsankle sings the song

I'll tip my hat to Goober's intrusion
Take a bow for this new convolution
Smile and grin at the tards all around
That give Sirfistafuck's thread any play
Just like yesterday
Then I'll get on my knees and pray
We don't get fooled again

Meet the new boss
Same as the old boss
Van wrote:Kumbaya, asshats.
R-Jack wrote:
Atomic Punk wrote:So why did you post it?
Yes, that just happened.
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