The chase for 0-16

Shoalzie · Post by **Shoalzie** » Sun Sep 21, 2008 11:52 pm

A few winless teams picked themselves off the mat and earned nice wins today but there seems to a "special" group of teams this season that have what it takes to go anti-Patriots and lose all their damn games. There are five 0-3 teams, the Texans falling to 0-2 and the Chargers at 0-2 but play tomorrow night.

I'll point to the local team first...the Lions did what I expected them to do. Look lifeless in a road game while getting bludgeoned by a dynamic running back and allowing an average QB do whatever he wanted against them. Rudi Johnson actually had a decent game when but Kitna gets hurt late in the game and really this team really drops off if they have to go to Orlovsky or Stanton to be their QB right now. They just look pathetic and Martz could've really laid it to 'em today but seemed content with letting Frank Gore rip that sad Lions defense a new one.

I caught most of the Giants-Bengals game and the offense at least showed some life...the Bengals are probably the best of the 0-5 teams. On the other end of things, the Chiefs QB carousel fails again, the Browns powerful offense is in a coma, the Rams are an absolute mess of a team and a coach probably on the hottest seat this side of Lane Kiffin. I can see the Browns eventually getting their offense in gear but probably not fight their way back into a playoff spot. The Chiefs and Rams along with the Lions appear to be on their way to chasing the elusive 0-16 mark. The Texans definitely didn't hurt their cause either but they're a game behind the pack. Although we saw some winless teams this week rise up and pick up some upset wins, I have a hard time picking teams like the Chiefs, Rams, Lions or Texans to win any of their upcoming games considering how poorly they've looked.

My odds for 0-16 seasons:
Rams 4-1
Chiefs 7-1
Lions 8-1
Texans 10-1
Browns 30-1
Bengals 40-1

Obviously, the Browns and Bengals aren't both going to go winless considering they play each other twice in division play...I think those two pick up a win before the other 4 winless teams. I don't even put the Chargers in this group because of their expectations from most people and for how close they lost their two games.

.m2 · Post by **.m2** » Mon Sep 22, 2008 12:22 am

Welcome to San Francisco.... Shoalzie.

The Chargers will get well real quick when they take on the Jets and an "over the hill".... hillbilly.

Look for 2 to 3 interceptions.... by the "interception machine".

Shoalzie · Post by **Shoalzie** » Mon Sep 22, 2008 12:32 am

.m2 wrote:Welcome to San Francisco.... Shoalzie.

Shoalzie wrote:A bonus play, definitely take the Niners giving 4 against the Lions at the Stick on Sunday. Martz is licking his lips at the thought of going against his old team and against that awful defense. The Lions will score points on 'Frisco but Frank Gore will chew 'em up on the ground.

Welcome to what? I wasn't surprised with what I saw today.

Bobby42 · Post by **Bobby42** » Mon Sep 22, 2008 11:58 pm

Browns and Bengals play this weekend. Now I have a reason to get shitfaced.

.m2 · Post by **.m2** » Tue Sep 23, 2008 1:22 am

mvscal wrote:
.m2 wrote:Look for 2 to 3 interceptions.... by the "interception machine".
No, that would not do at all. Not at all. (starting Farve v my opponent's Charger D)

One down (pick 6) and 1 or 2 more to go for the "interception machine".

.m2 · Post by **.m2** » Tue Sep 23, 2008 1:46 am

Well, it looks like the "interception machine" is turned on "high" this evening.

He's already reached his quota of 2 and it's only the 2nd quarter.

They may try and max out the "machine" and see if he can hit #3 by halftime.

Felix · Post by **Felix** » Wed Sep 24, 2008 12:54 pm

I've got to give the nod to Kansas Shitty at this point

The Ewes have actually have some offensive weapons (e.g. Steven Jackson, Marc Bulger, Torry Holt)-while the Chefs offensive weapons are confined to Larry Johnson and Tyler Thigpen (Tony Gonzalez is excluded because Tyler Thigpen is the QB)

If anybody is going to make a serious run at the elusive 0-16 mark, it's going to be KC

poptart · Post by **poptart** » Wed Sep 24, 2008 1:08 pm

Shoalzie, your odds are, to put it bluntly, total horseshit.

We've had ONE winless team in the modern era and yet here you come at us with FOUR teams that have less than 10-1 odds at going winless THIS season.

I would agree that the Lambs and Chefs have the best chance, but I would place both of their odds at at least 20-1.

The Lambs will prolly win 3 or 4 games.
The Chefs will prolly win 2 or 3 ... maybe 4.

At any rate, I feel like blowing a wad over the fact that in a thread about futility, Oakland hasn't been mentioned once.

poptart · Post by **poptart** » Wed Dec 03, 2008 12:11 pm

How's this thread looking?

Shoalzie · Post by **Shoalzie** » Wed Dec 03, 2008 1:23 pm

I wasn't that far off with my odds for the Lions...if they can't get over the Vikings on Sunday without the Williamses out of the lineup, I give them no shot in the other 3 games. This team finishes 1-15 at best...this is a must win or 0-16 is pretty much a sure thing. If it gets to 0-15, I might actually root for the loss. Do you really think LionFan isn't embarrassed enough by this team? 0-16 would suck but this just seems to be par for the course. I'm numb to their ineptitude.

I put the the Bengals at the longest odds and they've got the second worst record in the league...shows what I know. The Rams showed a little bit of life after Haslett took over as coach but that honeymoon is over. The Chiefs were a team that I thought could be this bad just because of their QB situation but Thigpen has been showing some progress. Seattle at 2-10 is probably nothing anyone expected to see...not the way Holmgren was hoping to go out. The Texans and Browns just had slow starts but they both don't look like they're going to be making a push for the playoffs this year either.

ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2 · Wed Dec 03, 2008 3:29 pm

Last year, both Miami and NE proved just how tough it is to have the "perfect season"…. I expect the Lions to win a game, somehow. This week? Even though Peterson will rush for over 200 yards on them this, they will find a way to win. See, it's the holiday season and anything can and will happen. I think Hans Gruber said it best, "It's Christmas, Theo... it's the time of miracles." Schiess dem fenster?

Shoalzie · Post by **Shoalzie** » Mon Dec 08, 2008 3:56 pm

The Leos blew their last chance at a win yesterday...0-16 is inevitable. The only way they don't go imperfect is if the other team absolutely implodes and gives them the win. Yesterday was looking like a possible accident win with injury to Frerotte and the fumbles by Peterson but low and behold, Jackson played pretty well in relief and the Lions didn't do squat after the turnovers. Of the final three games, the Packers are probably the most vulnerable but since it's at Lambeau...I'm not holding out hope.

Cuda · Post by **Cuda** » Mon Dec 08, 2008 5:23 pm

0-16: You gotta WANT IT

Screw_Michigan · Post by **Screw_Michigan** » Mon Dec 08, 2008 7:29 pm

It's all but guaranteed.

Cuda · Post by **Cuda** » Mon Dec 08, 2008 8:03 pm

Screw_Michigan wrote:It's all but guaranteed.

we've heard that before

RJ · Post by RJ » Mon Dec 08, 2008 8:44 pm

Cuda wrote:0-16: You gotta WANT IT

:D

When duhfan feels bad for lionfan, you know shit is fucked up.

Shoalzie · Post by **Shoalzie** » Mon Dec 08, 2008 8:49 pm

RJ wrote:
Cuda wrote:0-16: You gotta WANT IT
:D

When duhfan feels bad for lionfan, you know shit is fucked up.

Yup...you guys have it bad but we're at rock bottom. The Lions have to improve to just suck. They are sub-suck.

There is a disturbing rumor coming out of the Windsor Star today...Millen could still be running the Lions. He's allegedly still on the payroll. If this is true, may those lying sons of bitches never win a game again. I've never said I was ever done with them but this would pretty much push me over the edge. I'll just be a NFL fan with no team allegiance...I won't jump to another team but I just won't follow the Lions anymore. I'd call this the last straw if that firing wasn't legit and that jackass is still calling the shots.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Mon Dec 08, 2008 9:51 pm

The Lions have to improve to just suck.

Ha ha. So true.

Shoalzie · Post by **Shoalzie** » Tue Dec 09, 2008 4:33 am

Raiola's one-finger salute was a subject on local radio today. Dom has been a trooper throughout and I'm disappointed to hear that he'd do something like that. As harsh as the fans might be...you just can't give in and do something back to them. I can't imagine it's a lot of fun to be on the worst team in the league and have the hometown fans giving you crap but you have to buck up and deal with it. Take the high road as much as you'd probably like to give it back. I lost quite a bit of respect for him for doing that and for his lack of an apology.

DamnTheCowboys · Post by **DamnTheCowboys** » Wed Dec 10, 2008 4:03 am

Shoalzie wrote: Yesterday was looking like a possible accident win with injury to Frerotte

Actually, that's when you knew the Vikings couldn't lose. When I saw him being carted off the field I knew the game was in the bag for them and it was going to be 0-13 for Detroit.

Shoalzie · Post by **Shoalzie** » Sun Dec 21, 2008 8:52 pm

One more loss... :?

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Mon Dec 22, 2008 2:05 am

mvscal wrote:Good job...?

:?

One more to go. Can't look ahead and lose focus...

What scares me is that Green Bay is actually beatable, especially with that Cal guy at the helm.

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Mon Dec 22, 2008 6:18 am

Do you wish your daughter had married a better defensive coordinator???

Gotta like how the Fox studio team totally ignores that Marinelli just admitted that his son in-law is a DC in name only. Do you have any other daughters Rod? I'm sure there's plenty of guys who would fuck them for at least a position coach's salary.

Shoalzie · Post by **Shoalzie** » Mon Dec 22, 2008 2:49 pm

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:
mvscal wrote:Good job...?

:?
One more to go. Can't look ahead and lose focus...

What scares me is that Green Bay is actually beatable, especially with that Cal guy at the helm.

It's at Lambeau...it's a lock that they lose. If they can't beat the Lions, I'll never stop giving crap to m2 about Rodgers. The Monday after that game will hopefully bring a mass firing and the healing can begin.

Shoalzie · Post by **Shoalzie** » Mon Dec 22, 2008 2:55 pm

BSmack wrote:Do you wish your daughter had married a better defensive coordinator???

Gotta like how the Fox studio team totally ignores that Marinelli just admitted that his son in-law is a DC in name only. Do you have any other daughters Rod? I'm sure there's plenty of guys who would fuck them for at least a position coach's salary.

I love how they blasted Rob Parker...he's been on Rod's ass all year long. Granted, Rod never directly answers his questions but Rob continues to take low blows with him on the fact that Barry is his son-in-law. He acts like it's a shock to everyone that they're related. Parker has been baiting him to have a Dennis Green or Jim Mora moment but to Marinelli's credit, he hasn't bit. His team might suck but I respect Rod's attitude throughout this whole season. He's about as stand-up of a guy as you can find in his profession but unfortunately for him, he's got one more game as head coach of this team. There's no way he survives this.

ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2 · Mon Dec 22, 2008 3:14 pm

Shoalzie wrote:There's no way survives this.

Are you talking about being the Lions head coach next year… or being a head coach at any level? Dude will always have the stigma of being the guy who had the perfect season. He'd have to prance around in panties and take pictures of himself in a jizz stained mirror in order to be a bigger joke. I wouldn't hire him to coach a Pop Warner team.

Screw_Michigan · Post by **Screw_Michigan** » Mon Dec 22, 2008 5:45 pm

RACK Rob Parker. Don't forget that Joe Barry was the man of Gobbles-like intelligence to go through a drive-thru NAKED and still be employed! He should have been fired for that alone. Good ol' nepotism.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Mon Dec 22, 2008 6:18 pm

Too bad the lionesses can't comeplete this history making sweep at home in front of their loyal fans.

Congrats on the perfect season, btw.

Since the shrub is gonna hook up a few other failing franchises in Dtown, do you think he can show a little love to this pathetic franchise. Maybe loan them a few wins next year.

Or maybe they should just take sole possession of the title and run the table again next year.

Shoalzie · Post by **Shoalzie** » Mon Dec 22, 2008 6:37 pm

Screw_Michigan wrote:RACK Rob Parker. Don't forget that Joe Barry was the man of Gobbles-like intelligence to go through a drive-thru NAKED and still be employed! He should have been fired for that alone. Good ol' nepotism.

Defensive line coach Joe Cullen went through Wendy's drunk and naked...but yes, he's still employed with the team as well. But for how much longer?

Old Man Ford already came out and announced Martin Mayhew and Tom Lewand are staying on board in the front office but they will hire a third guy...to do what, I don't know. I'd assume any coaching moves will happen after the last game...and there better some, if not all.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Mon Dec 22, 2008 6:52 pm

Screw_Michigan wrote:Don't forget that Joe Barry was the man of Gobbles-like intelligence

Doctor: “Sorry, little Screwball, but Goober’s still in there.”

Shoalzie · Post by **Shoalzie** » Sun Dec 28, 2008 9:27 pm

Yeeeeeeeeeeah...

Been nice knowing ya, Rod.

godzilla2002 · Post by **godzilla2002** » Sun Dec 28, 2008 9:41 pm

Congratulations Shoalzie… I think

Not too many people here can say my NFL team was the first to go 0-16

On the bright side, the early games are over and you’re kicking everyone’s ass in the “Pick’em” pool with 9 right and only 1 wrong

Cuda · Post by **Cuda** » Sun Dec 28, 2008 10:07 pm

RACK! the Lions for their perfect season

Nishlord · Post by **Nishlord** » Mon Dec 29, 2008 1:50 pm

Good on you, '08 Lions. Every year when the last winless team gets their first victory, you can all go round someone's garage, drink shitty home brew that's not ready for another month, and then all go to hospital to have your stomachs pumped.

Shoalzie · Post by **Shoalzie** » Mon Dec 29, 2008 2:07 pm

I at least got some enjoyment out seeing the Cowboys getting their asses kicked, Pennington getting over on the Bretts and the Patriots missing the playoffs...although the Pats have nothing to be embarrassed about with how Cassel played for them this year and finishing with an 11-5 record. There are some cool stories to root for in the playoffs...the Dolphins, Falcons, Ravens and Cardinals were brutal last year but had nice turnarounds. I can only hope the Leos can do that but not without some major changes. I'm sure today will bring some good news as I'd like to think the entire coaching staff will be shown the door.

godzilla2002 wrote:On the bright side, the early games are over and you’re kicking everyone’s ass in the “Pick’em” pool with 9 right and only 1 wrong

I ended up finishing the week 13-3 with 121 points in the confidence pool...hopefully that's enough to win. If you need me to work on everyone's results for Week 17, I can get to that this evening after work. I'll get the playoff thread posted tonight as well.

Once again, good luck with your knee surgery!

PISC · Post by **PISC** » Wed Dec 31, 2008 7:20 pm

The NFL World can offically forget about George Seifert. Wait, they already did but going 0-15 from week 2 on is no fun either.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Wed Dec 31, 2008 7:56 pm

The 0-16 "record" is impressive, but there's still work to be done. The '76 Bucs went 0-14, and then proceeded to lose their next 12 games the following season. So the Lions need to lose 11 more consecutive games in order to really be considered the worst of the worst. Of course those horrid Bucs teams were fresh from expansion, so they at least had an excuse. The Lions, on the other hand, have been around since 1930 and used to be pretty good in its day. Bwahaha. The question for me is, which fat pile of erratic horse shit is going to be the starting qb next year?

T1B

The chase for 0-16

The chase for 0-16

Re: The chase for 0-16

Re: The chase for 0-16

Re: The chase for 0-16

Re: The chase for 0-16

Re: The chase for 0-16

Re: The chase for 0-16

Re: The chase for 0-16

Re: The chase for 0-16

Re: The chase for 0-16

Re: The chase for 0-16

Re: The chase for 0-16

Re: The chase for 0-16

Re: The chase for 0-16

Re: The chase for 0-16

Re: The chase for 0-16

Re: The chase for 0-16

Re: The chase for 0-16

Re: The chase for 0-16

Re: The chase for 0-16

Re: The chase for 0-16

Re: The chase for 0-16

Re: The chase for 0-16

Re: The chase for 0-16

Re: The chase for 0-16

Re: The chase for 0-16

Re: The chase for 0-16

Re: The chase for 0-16

Re: The chase for 0-16

Re: The chase for 0-16

Re: The chase for 0-16

Re: The chase for 0-16

Re: The chase for 0-16

Re: The chase for 0-16

Re: The chase for 0-16

Re: The chase for 0-16

Re: The chase for 0-16