There's no such thing as a free lunch

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Thu Feb 05, 2009 1:59 pm

smackaholic wrote:The OL took the kids to denny's after they got out of school monday for the free grub, but, there were cheap fukks lined up out the door. So, they took a raincheck.

We went there tonight for dinner. The wife and my son used their raincheck and did the grand slam. I went for the 8.99 sizzling chicken fajita kind of deal.

Holly fukking shit!!! It was bad. No, it was worse than that. The chicken breast looked like it came off a pidgeon. The onions and peppers were pretty much non existent and really bad. I am not exaggerating when I say this was like a really, really, really bad TV dinner. I suffered through 6 years of Navy grub. This was much worse.

Almost forgot about the coffee. Everybody has the fancy foo-foo flavors nowadays. Denny's has one too. Not sure what they call it, but, it smells pretty much like a dirty ash tray.

How the fukk is this place still in business? I guess it's the middle of the night breakfast club that keeps them going and maybe the blue hairs. Those fukks won't get another thin dime out of me.

I hate to say I told you so....no, wait, I enjoy doing that. I TOLD YOU SO.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Thu Feb 05, 2009 2:47 pm

Sorry, I missed that goobs. Coulda saved me 8.99 + tax + tip.

Don't think i ever tried anything other than breakfast before at denny's. Certain won't try anything other than it in the future. Prolly won't even do breakfast again there.

Just curious. Is it considered bad form to be honest to waitresses? When she stopped by with the obligatory "How was everything?" at the end of the meal, I just kinda smiled and nodded "fine, thanks". I really did want to tell her how awful it was, but, she was cute and it wasn't her fault that the chow sucked. It's not like she recommended I try that shit.

I think if I worked there, I'd be like "dude, you really don't wanna try that shit. it sux. go with the breakfast menu. so what if it's 5 PM. You want fajitas, try the real restaurant down the road. I wouldn't feed that shit to a stray dog."

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Thu Feb 05, 2009 3:34 pm

smackaholic wrote:Just curious. Is it considered bad form to be honest to waitresses?

Yes. When I have a good meal at a restaurant and the waitress stops back when I’m halfway through the meal to ask how everything is, I tell her with a straight face that everything is just awful and after I’ve had a few more bites I’ll be sending it all back.

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Thu Feb 05, 2009 5:23 pm

War Wagon wrote:
H4ever wrote:And it costs exactely next to squat to live here and I can drive to the Rockies should I feel the need.
Busted.

Grand Island.

And you're still 2 hours, at least, from the Rockies.

But look on the bright side. You're also at least 4 hours drive time from Coods.

Nah, Grand Island is more like 6-7 hours from the Rockies. 6-7 hours of nothing but cornfields.

Truman · Post by **Truman** » Thu Feb 05, 2009 6:32 pm

^^^^^^^^^^

Fail.

Mapquest is your friend.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Thu Feb 05, 2009 6:37 pm

^^Oh sweet, sweet irony.

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Thu Feb 05, 2009 6:48 pm

Truman wrote:^^^^^^^^^^

Fail.

Mapquest is your friend.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Epic Fail

Just to get to Denver from Grand Island is 5 hours and 40 minutes as per Google Maps. Add in a stop for lunch and gas somewhere and you're easily pushing 6.5 hours.

http://maps.google.com/maps?ll=40.92231 ... -98.357996

Of course, you should know that there are no mountains in Denver. To actually get to the Rockies you have to drive a little further west.

Truman · Post by **Truman** » Thu Feb 05, 2009 8:10 pm

BSmack wrote:
Truman wrote:^^^^^^^^^^

Fail.

Mapquest is your friend.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Epic Fail

Just to get to Denver from Grand Island is 5 hours and 40 minutes as per Google Maps. Add in a stop for lunch and gas somewhere and you're easily pushing 6.5 hours.

http://maps.google.com/maps?ll=40.92231 ... -98.357996

Of course, you should know that there are no mountains in Denver. To actually get to the Rockies you have to drive a little further west.

^^^^^^^^^^

Legendary fail.

So who said anything about Denver, BMagellan? Did you not post, "Nah, Grand Island is more like 6-7 hours from the Rockies"?

Sors, B, but I can be here

...in just over five hours from Grand Island - even if I did elect to observe Nebraska and Colorado's Interstate speed ~~suggestions~~ er, limits. So I really won't be needing that extra hour-or-so of yours to eat and pee. And sucks to be you not to own a sled that can make the leap on a single tank.

As for Denver

Looks to me like semantics, B....

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Thu Feb 05, 2009 9:18 pm

"here" looks like a mutherfuggin' cornfield to me, truman.

B ilk was right for a change and you called him on it and you are wrong, so man up and admit it, like I did when I tried running spelling smack earlier today.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Thu Feb 05, 2009 9:41 pm

Google maps says Grand Island to Denver is 402 miles. It’s interstate all the way and at 75 mph that would be about 5 hours and 21 minutes. To then get around Denver and go roughly 15 miles west to hit the foothills of the Southern Rockies should push you to at least 6 hours. Anyone who drives 6 hours without taking at least one break to stretch their legs is in too much of a hurry.

Truman · Post by **Truman** » Thu Feb 05, 2009 9:45 pm

Cornfield? Nice trick at altitude, Sparky.

But I can see where those high snowy things in the near background might have you fooled.

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Thu Feb 05, 2009 9:48 pm

Dungver is quite a bit south of GI. If one could head straight west from GI, as the crow flys, they'd hit the Rockies in considerably less than 400 miles. I think that's the point Tru is making.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Thu Feb 05, 2009 9:50 pm

War Wagon wrote:Dungver is quite a bit south of GI. If one could head straight west from GI, as the crow flys, they'd hit the Rockies in considerably less than 400 miles. I think that's the point Tru is making.

You mean Truman can fly like a crow?

Truman · Post by **Truman** » Thu Feb 05, 2009 9:53 pm

Goober McTuber wrote:Google maps says Grand Island to Denver is 402 miles. It’s interstate all the way and at 75 mph that would be about 5 hours and 21 minutes. To then get around Denver and go roughly 15 miles west to hit the foothills of the Southern Rockies should push you to at least 6 hours. Anyone who drives 6 hours without taking at least one break to stretch their legs is in too much of a hurry.

...Or driving in the middle-of-the-night to avoid having to look at the Big Empty. Grand Island to Loveland is 395 miles. A steady 75 mph from Grand Island lands you squarely in the Foothills in about 5:15, give or take. Not the "6-7 hours" BMerriwether suggested that it took to get to the Rockies. Solely my point.

Truman · Post by **Truman** » Thu Feb 05, 2009 9:54 pm

Goober McTuber wrote:
War Wagon wrote:Dungver is quite a bit south of GI. If one could head straight west from GI, as the crow flys, they'd hit the Rockies in considerably less than 400 miles. I think that's the point Tru is making.
You mean Truman can fly like a crow?

Nope. But he can read a map.

H4ever · Post by **H4ever** » Thu Feb 05, 2009 9:55 pm

Goober McTuber wrote:
War Wagon wrote:Dungver is quite a bit south of GI. If one could head straight west from GI, as the crow flys, they'd hit the Rockies in considerably less than 400 miles. I think that's the point Tru is making.
You mean Truman can fly like a crow?

There are enough roads to enable you to almost go as the crow flies. I'm seeing Rockies on the horizon in as little as 3-4 hours.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Thu Feb 05, 2009 10:05 pm

Truman wrote:
Goober McTuber wrote:Google maps says Grand Island to Denver is 402 miles. It’s interstate all the way and at 75 mph that would be about 5 hours and 21 minutes. To then get around Denver and go roughly 15 miles west to hit the foothills of the Southern Rockies should push you to at least 6 hours. Anyone who drives 6 hours without taking at least one break to stretch their legs is in too much of a hurry.
...Or driving in the middle-of-the-night to avoid having to look at the Big Empty. Grand Island to Loveland is 395 miles. A steady 75 mph from Grand Island lands you squarely in the Foothills in about 5:15, give or take. Not the "6-7 hours" BMerriwether suggested that it took to get to the Rockies. Solely my point.

Except that the last 60 miles of that is not going to be at 75 mph, as it looks to be a two-line state highway. And you might see the Rockies from Loveland, but I don't believe you're there yet. I'd say it's closer to 6 hours than it is to 5. Assuming you were actually going to obey speed limits. Solely my point.

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Thu Feb 05, 2009 10:23 pm

I luv how a thread can go off on a crazy tangent over some minute details. It's been at least 10 years since I've vacationed in the mountains and all this talk has me wanting to get back. And trust me, I won't be in a hurry. I'll stop at every historical marker, every scenic overlook, every place that serves Bud Light.

Anyways, we've established a few facts here:

H4 is from Kearney and they don't have a Denny's.

Goobs doesn't like Denny's, which is no surprise. Goobs hates everything, just on general principle.

Tru drives like a maniac.

Suckaholic orders fajitas at restaraunts.

Bri secretly wishes he were from someplace else. While that may be a stretch, it's all I've got to work with at this point.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Thu Feb 05, 2009 10:29 pm

War Wagon wrote:Goobs doesn't like Denny's, which is no surprise. Goobs hates everything, just on general principle.

Absolute nonsense. But of course your post was really just an effort to divert the thread away from the BSmack-Truman nit-picking contest.

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Thu Feb 05, 2009 10:31 pm

Goober McTuber wrote:Google maps says Grand Island to Denver is 402 miles. It’s interstate all the way and at 75 mph that would be about 5 hours and 21 minutes. To then get around Denver and go roughly 15 miles west to hit the foothills of the Southern Rockies should push you to at least 6 hours. Anyone who drives 6 hours without taking at least one break to stretch their legs is in too much of a hurry.

I believe during my Omaha to Denver drive I took exactly 2 breaks. Just long enough to stretch the legs, gas up the car and buy some variety of cold liquid caffeine. During my second stop I stopped for a moment to talk to some college girls on their way to Ft. Collins who were also gassing up their ride. We all agreed that driving through Nebraska during daylight hours was only slightly less annoying than being waterboarded. Grand total of both stops, 30 minutes.

Here's a video that illustrates my point. Sort of. ;)

http://media.mtvnservices.com/mgid:cms: ... com:150953[/swf]

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Thu Feb 05, 2009 10:49 pm

BSmack wrote:...driving through Nebraska during daylight hours was only slightly less annoying than being waterboarded.

You should try driving across 400 freaking miles of Kansas, where you'll come across must see stops like the worlds biggest ball of twine and the worlds biggest prarie dog farm. As well, don't forget to stop at the Bob Dole welcome center and get your free map.

And just for you Bri, I know you wouldn't want to miss the Dwight D. Eisenhower presidential museum. (it's actually pretty cool).

Truman · Post by **Truman** » Thu Feb 05, 2009 10:59 pm

More like a BSmack-Truman-Goober McTuber nit-picking contest.

Made you look...

Any idea what the speed limit is on your 60 miles of two-lane highway there, Goobs? Try 65 mph. Again, speed limits are more-or-less a suggestion in the West, but I understand how uncomfortable some old folks get when speeds surpass 55....

As for Loveland - and Denver for that matter - both are considered to be Front Range cities.
As in Front Range of the Rockies.
As in Front Range of the Rocky Mountains.
Not, "Far Edge of the Great Plains" cities.
Again, semantics. Loveland is also geographically considered to be within the Foothills of the Rockies.

While it's true (sup, smackie) that Denver and other Front Range cities are not actually built on top of mountains (strangely, most Colorado mountain towns are built in valleys) an easy jog from the western limits of any Front Range town will likely find you on an uphill slope of a real, live actual mountain.

Hope this helps!

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Thu Feb 05, 2009 11:02 pm

War Wagon wrote:
BSmack wrote:...driving through Nebraska during daylight hours was only slightly less annoying than being waterboarded.

You should try driving across 400 freaking miles of Kansas, where you'll come across must see stops like the worlds biggest ball of twine and the worlds biggest prarie dog farm. As well, don't forget to stop at the Bob Dole welcome center and get your free map.

And just for you Bri, I know you wouldn't want to miss the Dwight D. Eisenhower presidential museum. (it's actually pretty cool).

Did Kansas on my way back on that trip. Fortunately, my trip planning was a little better that time and 95% of my time spent in Kansas was spent in the dark. Drove from Albuquerque to Springer on I-25 and then took US 56 through the Oklahoma panhandle into Kansas. By the time I hit Kansas, it was already dark. I hit KC right around sunrise.

Isn't there a memorial to Knute Rockne somewhere in Kansas?

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Thu Feb 05, 2009 11:12 pm

Truman wrote:More like a BSmack-Truman-Goober McTuber nit-picking contest.

Made you look...

Any idea what the speed limit is on your 60 miles of two-lane highway there, Goobs? Try 65 mph.

Really? Even when passing through Dearfield, Spanish Village, Kersey, Greeley (looks to be about a 6-mile stretch just to get through Greeley, at what, 35, 40 mph)? I believe the nit is in your court.

Truman · Post by **Truman** » Thu Feb 05, 2009 11:43 pm

Goober McTuber wrote:
Truman wrote:More like a BSmack-Truman-Goober McTuber nit-picking contest.

Made you look...

Any idea what the speed limit is on your 60 miles of two-lane highway there, Goobs? Try 65 mph.
Really? Even when passing through Dearfield, Spanish Village, Kersey, Greeley (looks to be about a 6-mile stretch just to get through Greeley, at what, 35, 40 mph)? I believe the nit is in your court.

Well, now that depends...

Reckon if I ever found myself stuck behind some old beat with Wisconsin tags tooling down 34 Highway at a blaziing double nickel while straddling the center-line and mindlessly oblivious to his persistantly blinking left turn signal, then yeah, I might see how it could take all of 6 hours to make Loveland from Grand Island.

Volley...

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Fri Feb 06, 2009 1:17 am

BSmack wrote: Did Kansas on my way back on that trip. Fortunately, my trip planning was a little better that time and 95% of my time spent in Kansas was spent in the dark. Drove from Albuquerque to Springer on I-25 and then took US 56 through the Oklahoma panhandle into Kansas. By the time I hit Kansas, it was already dark. I hit KC right around sunrise.

Hmm, remind me to never let you navigate on a roadie. Shoulda' took I-40 from Alburquerque, not I-25, then cut up US 54 through the panhandle of both Texas and Oklahoma

6 of one, half dozen of another I suppose, but you missed Dalhart, Texas and Guymon, Oklahoma. Your life is not complete. You need a do over.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Fri Feb 06, 2009 1:28 am

So it's 5 hours to the front range, whateverthefukk that is. To me, that means, you can see the rockies, you are almost in the rockies, but, not really. Are there fukking ski resorts on the "front range". I doubt it. Is it hillier than it is 400 miles east in kansas? Sure. It's a few thousand feet higher too.

But.....

It ain't quite in the rockies. From that pic you posted, I would say the honest to god real rockie mountains are better than a half hour away. Maybe even an hour. Therefore, Bilk is certainly in the ballpark calling it 6-7 hours.

Let is go T.

Don't go Knashville on this one.

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Fri Feb 06, 2009 1:30 am

War Wagon wrote:
BSmack wrote: Did Kansas on my way back on that trip. Fortunately, my trip planning was a little better that time and 95% of my time spent in Kansas was spent in the dark. Drove from Albuquerque to Springer on I-25 and then took US 56 through the Oklahoma panhandle into Kansas. By the time I hit Kansas, it was already dark. I hit KC right around sunrise.
Hmm, remind me to never let you navigate on a roadie. Shoulda' took I-40 from Alburquerque, not I-25, then cut up US 54 through the panhandle of both Texas and Oklahoma

6 of one, half dozen of another I suppose, but you missed Dalhart, Texas and Guymon, Oklahoma. Your life is not complete. You need a do over.

You forgot Liberal, KS as well. But I have seen Las Vegas, NM. They have the only gas station/convenient store/restaurant/laundromat/hotel that I've ever seen that did not also have parking for semis on the premises. A trailer park would have been a major upgrade for that place.

Truman · Post by **Truman** » Fri Feb 06, 2009 4:54 am

Two points, and then I'll let "is" go, Smackles.

smackaholic wrote:So it's 5 hours to the front range, whateverthefukk that is. To me, that means, you can see the rockies, you are almost in the rockies, but, not really. Are there fukking ski resorts on the "front range".

Well, now, Eldora comes to mind, although technically, it is more accurately regarded as being "in" the Front Range...

It ain't quite in the rockies. From that pic you posted, I would say the honest to god real rockie mountains are better than a half hour away. Maybe even an hour.

Perhaps... if you happen to be driving five-to-10 m.p.h.

Try six miles from the city center. 'Course, the possibility exists that those aren't honest-to-god real rocks featured in this pic.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Fri Feb 06, 2009 5:18 am

Truman wrote:
Goober McTuber wrote:
Truman wrote:More like a BSmack-Truman-Goober McTuber nit-picking contest.

Made you look...

Any idea what the speed limit is on your 60 miles of two-lane highway there, Goobs? Try 65 mph.
Really? Even when passing through Dearfield, Spanish Village, Kersey, Greeley (looks to be about a 6-mile stretch just to get through Greeley, at what, 35, 40 mph)? I believe the nit is in your court.
Well, now that depends...

Reckon if I ever found myself stuck behind some old beat with Wisconsin tags tooling down 34 Highway at a blaziing double nickel while straddling the center-line and mindlessly oblivious to his persistantly blinking left turn signal, then yeah, I might see how it could take all of 6 hours to make Loveland from Grand Island.

Volley...

So you're going to go ahead and duck the fact that your route passes through several towns that would have something less than highway speed limits. You were the one that mentioned you could do it without exceeding speed limits.

Clear winner...

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Fri Feb 06, 2009 1:07 pm

Truman wrote:Two points, and then I'll let "is" go, Smackles.

smackaholic wrote:So it's 5 hours to the front range, whateverthefukk that is. To me, that means, you can see the rockies, you are almost in the rockies, but, not really. Are there fukking ski resorts on the "front range".
Well, now, Eldora comes to mind, although technically, it is more accurately regarded as being "in" the Front Range...

It ain't quite in the rockies. From that pic you posted, I would say the honest to god real rockie mountains are better than a half hour away. Maybe even an hour.
Perhaps... if you happen to be driving five-to-10 m.p.h.

Try six miles from the city center. 'Course, the possibility exists that those aren't honest-to-god real rocks featured in this pic.

from the eldora site....

directions: Denver Metro & North - APPROXIMATELY 47 MILES (60 MINUTES). Take I-25 North to 36 West, head into Boulder, used directions from Boulder.

So, this place is an hour past denver?

Yup, I would call that in the rockies. I would also call it 6 or 7 hours from whatever hell hole it was that got this dumb conversation started.

Truman · Post by **Truman** » Fri Feb 06, 2009 10:00 pm

Goober McTuber wrote:
So you're going to go ahead and duck the fact that your route passes through several towns that would have something less than highway speed limits. You were the one that mentioned you could do it without exceeding speed limits.

Clear winner...

Fault.

Either that, or you’re going to go ahead and duck the fact that 34 Highway effectively by-passes three of the four “towns” you listed. Ever driven through eastern Colorado, Goobs? Gotta feeling that your old ass is gonna go seriously wanting as you vainly search the street of Dearfield for a Dairy Curl...

So it takes an extra five minutes to traverse the six miles of Greely at 35 mph. Still puts me way under BStanley’s benchmark of six hours.

Truman · Post by **Truman** » Fri Feb 06, 2009 10:08 pm

smackaholic wrote:
from the eldora site....

directions: Denver Metro & North - APPROXIMATELY 47 MILES (60 MINUTES). Take I-25 North to 36 West, head into Boulder, used directions from Boulder.

So, this place is an hour past denver?

Yup, I would call that in the rockies. I would also call it 6 or 7 hours from whatever hell hole it was that got this dumb conversation started.

Aw, c’mon, Smacks... What was asked? I can’t help it if you don’t like the answers...

Dumb conversation, indeed.

BClark opined that the Rockies were a good six-to-seven hours from Grand Island, NE. Prevailing highway speeds and geography render his post close – but wrong. Don’t believe me? Ask Goobs. Big difference an hour makes in his take-home pay from down at the Culvert’s. But we digress.

As for Eldora...

You wanted an example of a Front Range ski mountain, and I gave you one. Loveland is another (not the city, the mountain – just to confuse the issue). I also suggested that Eldora was in the Front Range – not on it.

More semantics. Not so different from arguments heard defining the boundaries of the Midwest. Okies don’t like it, and Wiki agrees... But I wish I had a quarter for every time I’ve heard Oklahoma referred to as part of the Midwest.

If you are looking to lay your head on a pillow within the shadow of a 14er, then we certainly are in agreement – these are the “true” Rockies in my mind. I’m simply arguing the veracity of the points misrepresented.

Peace.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Fri Feb 06, 2009 11:59 pm

Truman wrote: BClark opined that the Rockies were a good six-to-seven hours from Grand Island, NE. Prevailing highway speeds and geography render his post close – but wrong.

So, if it can be done in 5 and a half, if you use a big gulp cup as a urinal, calling someone out for saying it's 6-7 hours is kinda weak. Not TiVO weak, but close.

Truman · Post by **Truman** » Sat Feb 07, 2009 12:23 am

Didn't call B out.

You're the one who decided to file suit in Federal Court.

Trust me, Smackie, B KNOWS when I call him out. A running, inane disagreement with B is just our way of saying "howdy" to one another. Nothing more.

As for weak...

Sors, Smackles, but I don't squat to pee. But I can see where a pit-stop-or-three on a six-to-seven hour ride to the Rocks might be imminently necessary in your case....

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Sat Feb 07, 2009 1:46 am

Truman wrote:Didn't call B out.

You're the one who decided to file suit in Federal Court.

Trust me, Smackie, B KNOWS when I call him out. A running, inane disagreement with B is just our way of saying "howdy" to one another. Nothing more.

As for weak...

Sors, Smackles, but I don't squat to pee. But I can see where a pit-stop-or-three on a six-to-seven hour ride to the Rocks might be imminently necessary in your case....

Nobody fucking cares what you think. Why do you even come here?

Go die in a Metamucil accident, you never-ending, geriatric bag of shit.

Truman · Post by **Truman** » Sat Feb 07, 2009 2:43 am

Red Shit wrote:
Nobody fucking cares what you think. Why do you even come here?

Why, just to irritate you, Merde Rouge!

Go die in a Metamucil accident, you never-ending, geriatric bag of shit.

Sage advice, Comrade. I'll be sure to look into it in about 30 years. So what else is on your mind, you smoking pile of failed ideology?

YOB TVOYU MAT', Motherfucker. Mix in some smack, Loser, or remain my private urinal.

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Sat Feb 07, 2009 3:00 am

Martyred wrote: Nobody fucking cares what you think.

Not true.

For instance, I'd like to know what Tru thinks about the Chiefs new head coach.

And I'd appreciate it if you'd quit distracting him from such weighty matters.

Truman posts are the gold standard. You should feel blessed you ever got to rub semi-colons with the guy.

Truman · Post by **Truman** » Sat Feb 07, 2009 3:07 am

War Wagon wrote:
Martyred wrote: Nobody fucking cares what you think.
Not true.

For instance, I'd like to know what Tru thinks about the Chiefs new head coach

Posted!

We're on our way back, Wags!

Can you say, insufferable?

Be afeared, West... Be verruh afeared...

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Sun Feb 08, 2009 2:35 am

affeared of what? the chefs beating the faiduhs?

you ought to drive out to the coast the next time they're in oakland. Prolly an easy day's drive for the road warrior. :)