"The one that got away" thread...

[Van]

Thanks to Lefty, for making me re-live this shit all over again. Nice open wound, there. I can feel it, it's turning gangrenous.



I can think of three, right off the top of my head...

-USC-Texas, for the '05 title. That one is growing in nauseating importance, in terms of how it's sticking in my craw.

It's a fucking cancer.

-The hottest cheerleader for my high school, this ridiculously wicked little brunette. Even something as simple as bus rides together with her to away games felt completely magical to me.

It's nearly thirty years later now and for some reason I find myself thinking about her more lately than I did twenty years ago.

-Had an offer to be a road test writer/editor for a major motorcycle magazine. I would've really liked doing that as a career, and I was good at it.

Would've required a move back to L.A., for not enough money, and I couldn't do that to wifey.

Had to take a pass on it.

Turns out, one of the guys who ended up getting the gig is still there, all these years later.

He recently crashed, on Angeles Crest Hwy, doing a road test, and now he's paralyzed from the waist down.

Why the fuck did Reggie lateral, and where were the spies on VY???

GODDAMMIT!!

Lefty, I know you've led a charmed life, so you probably don't have any. That being the case, I don't care if you have to make something up, you better come up with something here, just to appease the Misery Loves Company gods...

The rest of, other than, oh, Moorese and 88, don't give me any crap. You're all worthless and weak, so I know you've got something of your own to add to this thread.

Hell, even Smackie Chan. Welll, okay, maybe not.

But that fucker mvscal, something set him off, and Nick didn't just wake up this psychotic out of the blue.

Then there's that whole twisted trichotomy with the Mgo/Ana Cong/Pog Impaler love triangle. Something shit the bed, for that to've happened.

Then there's m2...

[Van]

Fuck Nick Saban, and Les Miles can orally drain his colostomy bag.



Jsc, you're another of the people I can envision who could be on that Moorese/88 charmed life list. Plus, c'mon, you've already died four or five times, so at this point you probably don't have an ounce of bitterness or regret to spare.

That would be why you're you, which is a good thing.

[Van]

Oh, wait, Jsc. I can think of one regret you may harbor...

You weren't able to secure any relatives who are USC alums, which, had you been able to swing it, would've completely locked up the entire high rent side of the BTPCF Monopoly board for you...

[KC Scott]

Good thread idea Vanny.

I've often wondered why some of the fucks on this board are in a perpetual state of Rage.

Maybe if your thread doesn't work Ana can ask em........

[Left Seater]

I don't know why you think I have lived a charmed life Van. I have my share just like everyone else.


Top of the list that I think about all the time is my Dad. Missing out on all those things that boys do with their dads. Him not making it to huge events in my life, like getting married, first game in college, graduation from college, meeting his grandkids someday, etc. I don't go a day without thinking about him and the bastard who did it.


There are plenty of others but they all pale in relation to my dad. Two of the most often remembered are:

Turning down a job offer from a private oil and gas company in Canada. Company was sold twice and dude cashed in huge. Could have taken that job and stayed there for 8 years and then left to do what I am doing now. Would have much more cash in the bank today if I did.

Not buying a home before I did. Missed the good side of the bubble in New England and PA.

[Van]

Lefty, you lost me on the thing about your dad. That one line...

I don't go a day without thinking about him and the bastard who did it.

...makes it sound like he was killed, or taken away from you in some manner.

If so, condolences.

If not, ie, if you're just describing an absentee dad, then I bet this thread would apply more to him than to you. He made the decision, so that was really his ship that he let sail, and you were just the victim.

Mainly, though, I was simply referring to your college life, your job, your nice house, your active interests and your beautiful wife. From the outside looking in, you seem to lead a charmed life.

Of course, appearances can be deceiving. Plenty of miserable people out there, who, by all appearances, shouldn't be.

I won't presume to act like I know you, so I'll just say that you seem like a pretty well adjusted, solid, happy enough guy, and with apparent good reason.

Just don't drop dead, doing the triathlon. That kinda 'bode to m2 wouldn't be worth all the tea in China.

I know what you're talking about, though, in terms of sometimes wishing your dad could've been there for some of the bigger moments.

My dad committed suicide, when I was 16. I was at baseball practice, and I got called in and sent home.

Bam. No more dad.

Unlike you though, I've never dwelled on it much. It never hit me very hard, at all.

Weird, too, because he was a good dad and we got along great. We weren't really close, per se, but we weren't distant either. He was always there, and always supportive.

I really should've been hit much harder by it than I was.

That fact makes me feel rather mvscal-ish about myself, as in, wtf? Why don't you feel that shit more?

Thinking about this board, I'm particularly looking forward to a few people and what they might come up with for this one...

R-Jack: I just have a feeling his will be genuinely funny.

'Spray: The mind boggles. That is one very good dude, though, so I'm curious to see what he'd say if he were being serious.

Dins: Would anyone even want to hazard a prediction as to what direction he might go with this?? It could either become a Moorese post, about the perfect ass salad midget he lost in a poker hand, or it could be something pretty damn surprising in its depth and sincerity. Just depends on the breath of the skank who woke him up that day, really. Dins is just a human Wheel Of Fortune; Forrest's box of chocolates.

Cuda: How much does he ache for Valvenis, and could that loss have been prevented?

trev: Yeah, I'm interested in what she might say.

Nick: The sky's the limit.

[smackaholic]

Mine?

I guess spending more time playing asteroids than studying chemistry and double probationing my ass out of Uconn engineering school. Although as a result I joined the Navy. Best thing I've ever done besides marrying the OL and banging out 2 kidlets with her.

Getting out of the Navy after 6 years. really should have put in 20 active. Would be retired and collecting a nice pension from it not. Definitely the best yob I ever had. JFK was right when he said something about serving in the navy being pretty epcot. I guess I could google tyhe quote, but, I'm kinda tired from my bike ride home.

Not buying up every condo in site when they were selling at detroilet like prices back in the early nineties. The thought actually occured to me and with a little financial backing from family members, I could have pulled it off. I figure that had I bought about 10 of them and played slum lord, I wouldn't have to have a real job now.

I got a dicked up father story too. Old man is bipolar and pretty much worthless. Sponged off my grandparents as long as they were around. Sure wish I could have picked fathers better. But then I wouldn't have had my grandfather (his father) who is my hero and coolest gramps to ever walk the face of the earth.

One more. Calling out ucunt on plural pronoun spelling.

[Wolfman]

"When you come to a fork in the road---take it." Supposedly one great bit of wisdom from Lawrence Berra. Some things happen over which you have no control--- like who are your parents. Other things happen when you face choices that could change your universe. I've had a good life--- born into a caring hard working family and meeting up with MrsO and having other good options for work and living. Have I made mistakes---of course, but fortunately nothing that couldn't be smoothed over with a little time and effort. Life is good-- why screw it up ?
Now I guess I better get at my 1040 and keep the IRS happy !

[poptart]

A spot in some kooky fly-by-night 60's "hair" band

- Pete Best

[indyfrisco]

For me, it's not something I didn't do, but something I did. I wish I never took that first dip of chew. I am hopelessly addicted to copenhagen. My wife hates it. I am on a period right now of quitting. I've quit no less than 20 times only to have failed. This go round, I did something different. I promised the old lady (again), but in the past, I would cheat. This time, I bought tests. I've not had a dip since Feb 9th. I hope to never have one again.

[Left Seater]

My Dad was murdered by a drunk on his way home from work. Dude ran a red and T-Boned his car. My dad was dead and he basically walked away.

Sat thru most of the trial and heard all kinds of reasons dude shouldn't do jail time. Thankfully he did do time and his family has suffered because of it.


Man, really sorry to hear about your Dad.

[Stan Fukkken Pickle]

But that fucker mvscal, something set him off

Man, I would love to hear that story.

[Terry in Crapchester]

I gave my parents their shot at wealth when I was just a little kid, only they didn't see it at the time.

My cousin was having a birthday party. The theme of it was to come dressed as your fantasy. I had just gotten into football at the time, so I asked my mom if I could have a football jersey for the party like the pros had. Back then (early 1970's), you couldn't just walk into a sporting goods store and buy one. They didn't really exist at that level.

So my mom got me a sweatshirt, then sewed on the number, name and logo. Too bad they didn't realize that NFL jerseys would take off in popularity the way they have.

Dude ran a red and T-Boned his car.

Since you mentioned it, that sounds rather similar to an accident that happened to me about 2 years ago. Lady in a pickup truck ran a red light and hit me. She wasn't drunk, but was traveling westbound at about 7:00 p.m. I was on my way to night court, the accident happened only about a block away from court. The paramedics wanted me to go to the hospital. I realized I wasn't dying and insisted on going to Court instead. My car was totaled, but I made it to Court.

I was much more fortunate than your dad. The only reminder I have of the accident is a hip that now locks up on me on occasion, but never did before that.

[War Wagon]

My dad committed suicide...

How old was he at the time, about your current age?

I'm particularly looking forward to a few people and what they might come up with for this one...

Not content with examining your own navel lint, you now want to watch other people examine theirs.

Go ahead and do the right thing.

[Stan Fukkken Pickle]

The one that got away......Not women....LOTTERY!



I'm proud to say that I never once asked a woman to marry me. I learned at a very early age that I didn't want someone bitching at me nonstop for the rest of my life. My mom pretty much bitched at my dad from the minute he got up until the minute he went to bed. And then I would go to my friend John's house and his mom was bitching at his dad. And then John and I would go to Eric's house and his mom was bitching at his dad. And then Me, John and Eric would go to Mark's house and his mom was bitching at his dad.....Ad nauseum. The only friend where this didn't happen was Brian's house and that was only because Brian's dad divorced the bitch years earlier.


Anyhoo, about 10 years ago I was playing these lottery numbers...6,9,10,15,28,29. I played them every fukkken day for three years in a row. About a week before Christmas that year I woke up with this sudden, unexplanable illness. The whole day I kept thinking to myself.....

"Gotta get my lotto tickets....Gotta get out of bed and get my lotto tickets"


I woke up around 10PM in time for the local news that night just in time for the newsbitch to say...

"And tonight's winning lotto numbers are 6,9,10,15,28 and 29"

ARRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!


Since then, I have filled out a Pick 4 slip on three different occassions what would have won, but I threw them in the garbage instead of playing them.


I can see it now....Somewhere up there Zeus is leaning over to Hades and seyz ....

"Let's have some fun with Stanley Fukkken Pickle...Bahwhwhahwhhahwhhahaha!"

[Smackie Chan]

I am on a period right now

Here ya go...

[War Wagon]

I'm proud to say that I never once asked a woman to marry me.

Like you ever had a chance in the first place.

My mom pretty much bitched at my dad from the minute he got up until the minute he went to bed.

I was looking forward to Van explaining why his Dad committed suicide and you went and ruined the surprise.

[Smackie Chan]

Anyhoo, about 10 years ago I was playing these lottery numbers...6,9,10,15,28,29. I played them every fukkken day for three years in a row. About a week before Christmas that year I woke up with this sudden, unexplanable illness. The whole day I kept thinking to myself.....

"Gotta get my lotto tickets....Gotta get out of bed and get my lotto tickets"


I woke up around 10PM in time for the local news that night just in time for the newsbitch to say...

"And tonight's winning lotto numbers are 6,9,10,15,28 and 29"

ARRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!


Since then, I have filled out a Pick 4 slip on three different occassions what would have won, but I threw them in the garbage instead of playing them.

Let me guess...the next morning's headline read something like, "LOCAL NEGRO FINDS WINNING LOTTERY TICKET IN GARBAGE"

[Van]

My dad committed suicide...

How old was he at the time, about your current age?

Yeah. Little older.

Not content with examining your own navel lint, you now want to watch other people examine theirs.

God forbid we get something to talk about in here besides black cocks, Obama, black crime, m2 and tits we can't play with.

Besides, this topic very much lends itself to sports, too. Probably everyone in here has a sports loss that'll just burn at them forever, where they had something great in their hands, and it just got wrenched away.

Well, maybe except for fans of Cal and Missouri, since they've never seen their teams get to that point.

Go ahead and do the right thing.

:?

[Smackie Chan]

God forbid we get something to talk about in here besides black cocks, Obama, black crime, m2 and tits we can't play with.

If it ain't broke...

[Stan Fukkken Pickle]

Let me guess...the next morning's headline read something like, "LOCAL NEGRO FINDS WINNING LOTTERY TICKET IN GARBAGE"

No No No!!!!


I filled out the slip, but instead of handing it to the clerk and playing the numbers I threw the slip in the garbage can.

One day was Mother's Day and I always put lotto tickets in my mom's card. I filled out the slip 7418, but at the last minute threw the slip in the garbage....Winning numbers 7418.

On another occassion I had a feeling that 0069 would come in. Filled out the slip 5 times...yapped with the clerk and he said

"You have a better chance of winning the Pick 3"

So I tossed slip in the garbage....Winning numbers that night 0069

And then another time with "0915".


Each one of those moments were a 1 in 10,000 chance of it happening and it has happened to me 3 times now. Now compound that with the 1 in 3,001,892 chance of those other numbers coming in and we're talking about some astronomical odds against me.

The odds of this happening to me on 4 separate occassions can only be explaned by God using Stanley Fukkken Pickle as a pawn for his amusement........................................









Or that fukkken curse that Cobra's wife put on me back in 1999! :doh:

[Smackie Chan]

God using Stanley Fukkken Pickle as a pawn for his amusement.

You's a fun play toy, white boy.

[Terry in Crapchester]

Let me guess...the next morning's headline read something like, "LOCAL NEGRO FINDS WINNING LOTTERY TICKET IN GARBAGE"

No No No!!!!


I filled out the slip, but instead of handing it to the clerk and playing the numbers I threw the slip in the garbage can.

One day was Mother's Day and I always put lotto tickets in my mom's card. I filled out the slip 7418, but at the last minute threw the slip in the garbage....Winning numbers 7418.

On another occassion I had a feeling that 0069 would come in. Filled out the slip 5 times...yapped with the clerk and he said

"You have a better chance of winning the Pick 3"

So I tossed slip in the garbage....Winning numbers that night 0069

And then another time with "0915".


Each one of those moments were a 1 in 10,000 chance of it happening and it has happened to me 3 times now. Now compound that with the 1 in 3,001,892 chance of those other numbers coming in and we're talking about some astronomical odds against me.

The odds of this happening to me on 4 separate occassions can only be explaned by God using Stanley Fukkken Pickle as a pawn for his amusement........................................









Or that fukkken curse that Cobra's wife put on me back in 1999! :doh:

Since you mentioned it . . .

I think it was back in 1995. My parents went to visit some friends of theirs in Maine. Left me the phone number but didn't know the area code, and asked me to look it up.

Area code was 207.

Daily number that evening? You guessed it -- 207.

A more important thing -- my son is going through some issues right now that I feel powerless to address. Sorry, too many personal info whores, and too current a matter, to provide any more details than that on the board.

Oh, and btw, . . .

God forbid we get something to talk about in here besides black cocks, Obama, black crime, m2 and tits we can't play with.

Thanks. \/ \/ \/

[War Wagon]

Ok Van, I'll play... to the extent that when I think of "the one that got away" it primarily refers to this.

Even something as simple as bus rides together with her to away games felt completely magical to me.

It's nearly thirty years later now and for some reason I find myself thinking about her more lately than I did twenty years ago.

The High School crush, the one you were never able to cash in on and still wonder what might have been, if only...

What an excruciatingly agonizing memory that you will never get over, no matter the circumstance.

Yeah, that cuts to the heart because you know you can never have that moment back.

[Stan Fukkken Pickle]

Jesus Fricken War and Peace!!!!!!!!

CLIFF NOTES PLEASE!



I started at "Gather round" and skipped all the way to "Bon Voyage".....did I miss anything???

[.m2]

Then you woke up to the reality that you were still married to Secretariat and lived in a Rodeo.



Life and it's cruel tricks.

[.m2]

Thanks for the reminder that I live in Rodeo.

Just trying to help.

[PSUFAN]

...did I miss anything???

Sorry dude, you miss everything.

[Van]

The ring is on the finger. The ship has sailed and anal sex with a crazy bitch was left at the dock. Bon Voyage.

Fear not, for as long as alcohol, paper bags and highly recruited ex Cal running backs exist you're always only a forty five minute trip away from Lost Glory.

[Louis Cyphre]

I'm sure m2 will correct me if I'm wrong, but I want to set part of his story straight for you guys.

m2 was a highly recruited running back coming out of high school. He was offered a full ride at UCLA, not Cal, but turned it down because UCLA is where the dumb kids go. He attended Cal for one semester and then dropped out because there was too much competition between students. At least that how I remember reading it and I'm too lazy to search for it.

[War Wagon]

Gather around kids. I have a few tales of opportunities lost and lifelong regrets.

I have already introduced her to you all in this thread about painful memories

Dear Lord, I missed the first and almost missed the 2nd.

Tears, man. Tears.

[.m2]

I'm sure m2 will correct me if I'm wrong, but I want to set part of his story straight for you guys.

m2 was a highly recruited running back coming out of high school. He was offered a full ride at UCLA, not Cal, but turned it down because UCLA is where the dumb kids go. He attended Cal for one semester and then dropped out because there was too much competition between students. At least that how I remember reading it and I'm too lazy to search for it.

About as close as anyone has been in a while. Only two small errors.







the truth

[Van]

I'm sure m2 will correct me if I'm wrong, but I want to set part of his story straight for you guys.

m2 was a highly recruited running back coming out of high school. He was offered a full ride at UCLA, not Cal, but turned it down because UCLA is where the dumb kids go. He attended Cal for one semester and then dropped out because there was too much competition between students. At least that how I remember reading it and I'm too lazy to search for it.

About as close as anyone has been in a while. Only two small errors.







the truth

Exactly...

Small error number 1: You weren't highly recruited, nor were you offered a full ride by UCLA.

Small error number 2: You never set foot on Cal's campus, except to loiter.

[Terry in Crapchester]

Then you woke up to the reality that you were still married to Secretariat and lived in a Rodeo.



Life and it's cruel tricks.

2oodles, please. I realize that being a permanent plunger peacock probably has altered your perception of reality somewhat, but you're entering a particularly unique realm of IKYABWAI-itis here.

Let me dumb it down for you, since one semester at Cal apparently wasn't time enough for you to learn reading comprehension. Dude just copped to premature ejaculation. And what's more, it wasn't even the wham-bam-thank you ma'am type. This was even more embarassing than that, by far. He splooged his load before he even got inside.

Now, I have to confess that I wasn't there, so I don't know what really happened. But something tells me that if the baby-faced sadist that is R-Jack were inclined to lie about this particular incident, he would've done so in a way that would've placed him in a more favorable light. Call it a hunch.

[.m2]

Terry, you're a mess.