(!) Serena Williams pic caption...

Van · Post by **Van** » Wed Apr 08, 2009 5:35 am

"You can't be serious. I'm a lesbian, not an excavator. What am I even supposed to do with...that??"

LTS TRN 2 · Post by **LTS TRN 2** » Wed Apr 08, 2009 6:55 am

"C'mere.....and don't tell me you ain't waitin' for me! You ain't doin' nuthin' with me, bitch...I'm strappin' on and doin' you--an' it's gonna be this thick...An' I like to go for about two hours..."

Invictus · Post by **Invictus** » Wed Apr 08, 2009 12:41 pm

Wondering why there hasn't been a silverback or Ray Lewis linebacker ref yet.

You homos are slipping.

Her ass is a wonder to behold.

Carry on.

General Peters · Post by **General Peters** » Wed Apr 08, 2009 1:25 pm

Invictus wrote:

Her ass is a wonder to behold.

Fixed!

WolverineSteve · Post by **WolverineSteve** » Wed Apr 08, 2009 2:32 pm

Oh no you didn't splash my hair you skinny white bitch. Get the fuck outta here before I put you in the scissor hold and snap your scrawny ass in half!

What?!?

Invictus · Post by **Invictus** » Wed Apr 08, 2009 4:12 pm

IVO? GPedo, that bitch doesn't even have an ass.

And, little dicked white boys like you wouldn't know what to do or be able to handle a Hottentot ass like Serena's. Better you stick with the flat butted women you cherish.

Out!

General Peters · Post by **General Peters** » Wed Apr 08, 2009 4:14 pm

Invictus wrote:
Her ass is a wonder to behold.

I hear scientists are currently using it to determine how to cure elephantitus in male gorillas.

Invictus · Post by **Invictus** » Wed Apr 08, 2009 4:29 pm

How you can be an All American anything if you can't even spell the word properly you are using to slander her? I won't tell which word you spelled wrong, let's see if you can figure it out.

If you're an example of an All American Kid, then you are a fucking idiot and I want nothing to do with your America. Give me a country where people spell shit properly and I can look at Serena's ass shining in the sun!

Van · Post by **Van** » Wed Apr 08, 2009 4:31 pm

When did Annie begin trolling here, as Invictus?

Invictus · Post by **Invictus** » Wed Apr 08, 2009 4:39 pm

Naw, it's me chief. I'm not nearly as committed (pun intended) to "the cause" as she is. I wouldn't even post here but I just can't stand to see some demean the splendor that is her magnificent posterior. Just coming in to stir the pot and give the board a ray of sunshine with my sterling personality.

Admit it, you miss her don't you?

ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2 · Wed Apr 08, 2009 4:54 pm

Invictus wrote:I wouldn't even post here but I just can't stand to see some demean the splendor that is her magnificent posterior.

Her ass, legs, and thighs are big enough to be a man's... add some hair to Serena's ass and I bet you'd be thinking of your favorite prison bitch, you cum-gurgling starfish pirate.

Van · Post by **Van** » Wed Apr 08, 2009 5:14 pm

Invictus, there are some things I miss talking to her about. Her obsession with race isn't one of them. Her telling me that beautiful white women, weren't, no, I don't miss that.

Invictus, in all seriousness, are you really trying to say this...

...grotesquesly misshapen, jumbo sized and cellulite ridden ass is preferable to you to...

That is what a proper ass looks like.

Invictus, are you serious? Besides the ass itself, so much of what goes into the making of a killer ass is the shape of the thighs (including the heart shaped gap created at the top), the flare of the hips and the taper of the stomach, which all frame the ass.

Serena has disgustingly mannish Robert Newhouse thighs, no flare to her hips and her abdomen is straight across and straight up and down thick and blocky. Yeah, she has a giant bubble butt, but it's ridiculously oversized, there are stretch marks and she's always fighting cellulite. When you take in the entire visual package of thighs, ass, hips and stomach (never mind her NFL free safety upper body) Serena looks like an overfed man, with a huge ass.

I don't see how you can look at Keyra's ass and say to yourself, nope, not big enough. Serena's lumpy condo, that's what I prefer.

And it's not just because she's black, either. There are bazillions of black women with great asses. I'm not talking about all the "phat" asses, the gelatinous ghetto booty asses that look like an earthquake site, as soon as the woman isn't bending over at the waist. No, I'm talking about genuine world class asses. Taut, sleek, smooth, round and shapely. Plenty of black women have them.

Serena just isn't one of them.

Van · Post by **Van** » Wed Apr 08, 2009 5:40 pm

mvscal, I included pics too, though. Like, say, a Denny's menu.

You know, "showing my work" and all...

ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2 · Wed Apr 08, 2009 6:06 pm

mvscal wrote:Lot verbiage just to say that Serena is a fugly bitch.

Van typing a 2750 word post. I know... :shocker:

At least he's good read.

Van · Post by **Van** » Wed Apr 08, 2009 6:30 pm

Ucan't, you'll be glad (or horrified) to know that I recently wrote a thirty five thousand word post.

Not here, obviously.

:)

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Wed Apr 08, 2009 6:30 pm

Actually, that's the most feminine pic I've seen of Serena in many years. She actually has recognizable feminine characteristics there, and I admit to imagining her friend there pulling down the suit and feasting on her pink-tinged chocolate taco.

Van · Post by **Van** » Wed Apr 08, 2009 6:57 pm

Gah!!!

When they don't airbrush her thighs and ass she can really look like a mess.

Some decent-ish pics I've seen of Serena...

(Her face is kinda Scary Tranny looking there, though.)

(Definitely can't deny she has great tits, even with the evident stretch marks.)

She looks okay when she goes for her exotic white chick look, with the straight, long, bleached hair and the stripper body glitter. Also, when she trims down a bit, and they only shoot her face and torso, from the front, she can look good.

It's just those candid shots, from behind, where she really can look hideous.

Invictus · Post by **Invictus** » Wed Apr 08, 2009 7:22 pm

ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2 wrote:
Invictus wrote:I wouldn't even post here but I just can't stand to see some demean the splendor that is her magnificent posterior.
Her ass, legs, and thighs are big enough to be a man's... add some hair to Serena's ass and I bet you'd be thinking of your favorite prison bitch, you cum-gurgling starfish pirate.

Who are you to judge what is or isn't manly? You, who bought the most expensive shirt possible to cover a bird chest and swizzle stick arms. No doubt you look at her and are green with envy that she has more muscle on her ankle than you ever will. Don't hate on her Ucant. Maybe you could write her for some tips on how to look a little more "masculine" eh?

Stick to lusting after horse-faced, mulatto lesbians from Storrs, you fucking bottom feeding troll.

No wonder you keep getting "no" votes for membership.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Van, while my initial point was to just start some shit, since you asked and I respect you, but in a totally hetero way, I will enter into a discusion on easily my favorite body part of a woman.

I am not one draw to big, fat sloppy asses either. I have had many debates with people about the difference between a big/fat ass versus a shapely/phat. I don't think just because a woman has a large butt that makes her sexy. I look to see how flat her stomach (Serena's tummy is quite flat) is compared to the rest of her body ( a key stat to be mindful of is booty-do. If her stomach sticks out farther than her booty does, that tells me right off that her large ass is just that and not appealing unless it is really, really late and I've had a 40 or six) and if she keeps herself in shape.

This bitch:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=63d9PGmh ... playnext=1
is a dancer at a club in ATL. I've told myself that I need to get down to see it in person so that I can judge in person whether or not she IS an actual Whooty. From what I've seen of her on the internet, she has a serious wagon hitched up. And, I picked this particular woman because she is white, lest you think I only dig the asses of black women. Depending upon the day and the weather, my taste changes in what I want in a bitch's backside.

So, in conclusion, Keyra's ass is a nice starter kit and I wouldn't kick her out of the bed for eating crackers. But, if I had my druthers, this woman's onion:

is the kind that makes me cry. And, Serena's onion is more the speed of the woman above than Keyra's.

Your thoughts?

Invictus · Post by **Invictus** » Wed Apr 08, 2009 7:31 pm

Van wrote:She looks okay when she goes for her exotic white chick look, with the straight, long, bleached hair and the stripper body glitter.

Sigh.

If I hadn't of seen it with my own eyes, I would've thought someone else typed this.

Let me go back to lurking...

Van · Post by **Van** » Wed Apr 08, 2009 7:54 pm

Invictus, that's what she's doing, and you know it.

Since we brought Annie up, allow me to add that this was one of her single biggest pet peeves: black women who dicked with their hair and make-up, in an effort to look more white.

She hated it, whenever she'd see a pic of that, like that Serena pic.

There is no doubt about the look Serena is shooting for, in that one red dress pic. Compare it to her other pics. Keep in mind the event she was attending that night.

She was shooting for a softer, lighter, more ethnically ambiguous look. It's plainly evident.

As for your other post, well, first of all, I don't believe that one pic is real. It looks photoshopped, the one of the chick on the boat.

Besides, that sort of ass is never going to look like that, not in real life. In real life it's not going to have the benefit of airbrushing. It's going to be riddled with cellulite and if it ever defied gravity like that, it won't do it for long. It'll look like a train wreck, by the time she's thirty.

I don't believe it's real, though, no. It looks ridiculous, anyway. It looks like one of those cartoons, where the girl's ass expands and then everyone's eyes bulge out, to the accompaniment of an "aaaOOOga" car horn.

As for that white chick in your video, meh. Too skanky. The tats are a huge turn off to me, and she doesn't move well. Bouncing her ass around like that, that's nowhere near as sexy as the seductive way Keyra moves in that other video. Ass dancing is about hips swaying, not flesh frantically jumping.

That white chick just looks trashy.

Her ass is good, but not great. Notice how in that video she never showed it without the little shorts, which is when you would've seen that she's a little loose and flabby.

If it weren't for the tats I'd give her ass about a 7, maybe an 8. With the tats...not interested. Ruining really good breasts and asses with tats, those should be crimes punishable by death.

Screw_Michigan · Post by **Screw_Michigan** » Wed Apr 08, 2009 7:57 pm

Van wrote:If it weren't for the tats I'd give it about a 7, maybe an 8. With the tats...not interested. Ruining really good breasts and asses with tats, those should be crimes punishable by death.

Yes, because you were hoping to marry and settle down with her, and the tatts were a definite indication she was not worthy of settling down with you. Use and abuse, pump and dump, etc. Idiot.

Van · Post by **Van** » Wed Apr 08, 2009 8:04 pm

S-M, it's ugly graffiti, plain and simple. True, it also indicates she's very likely a doorknob, but speaking purely to the aesthetic those tats always ruin the look.

Invictus · Post by **Invictus** » Wed Apr 08, 2009 8:18 pm

I'll skip over some of your post and answer the part I want to. The rest, well, you and Annie can feel free to debate that on the phone 'cause I won't.

Angel Lola Luv's ass isn't photoshopped. I did research and it looks just like that in every picture I've seen her in. So does Melyssa Ford's. So does Buffie the Body's. And, so does this very perfect woman's:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4YXYJ6OBoJg
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0T3AolcJ ... re=related
Every ass up close has a flaw or two but for a woman like Bria, I would accept her, flaws and all. Perfect skin color, perfect ass, and very, very easy on the eyes.

And, I would say that Melody shakes her ass MUCH better that Keyra. As far as her tats or face, I'm not trying to marry the bitch, we were talking about asses. And, she isn't that bad looking in other photos I've seen.

Van · Post by **Van** » Wed Apr 08, 2009 8:44 pm

See, 'Vic, you're talking about shaking the ass. I'm not. I'm talking about moving it, and what looks sexier.

Flexing her ass cheeks, like one of Letterman's "Stupid Human Tricks," that's not sexy. That's funny. Just wobbling it around, that's also not sexy, it's just sloppy and degrading.

Sexy is how Keyra moves her hips, and what those movements do to her ass. Sexy is how Shakira moves. She doesn't just slap her flesh up and down.

As for this chick...

...she has a beautiful face, but when one clicks on those links you provided one sees that she has a lot of sloppy cellulite. She's just plain a got a fat, sloppy ass, and her thighs are a mess.

We're talking "best of the best" stuff here, not "acceptable, for an anonymus club fuck."

These girls you keep showing me, they're sloppy, and that's now, when they're young models. That's how they look with the best lighting, body make up, clothes, etc.

In the real world? Their legs and asses are just sloppy fat, and it'll be all downhill from there.

That's the thing I don't get, 'Vic. It's not difficult to find endless pics and vids of black women with amazing, perfect asses. Flawless asses. Flawless legs, hips, stomachs and asses.

Why are you hung up on these cellulite ridden sloppy ones??

Again, look at this monstrosity...

How on earth can you tell me that's "a wonder to behold"? 'Vic, not only is that nowhere near being an ideal ass, it's borderline disgusting...and it's the real thing. It's not the phonied up version she sells in the magazines.

Sorry, dude, you can accept "flaws and all," we all can, but you do have to admit they are flaws: flaws which aren't present on the best asses.

ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2 · Wed Apr 08, 2009 8:58 pm

Invictus wrote:Who are you to judge what is or isn't manly?

Says the idiot who's in incapable of distinguishing a farm animal from a woman???

Let me break this down for you... I lust after woman with tight asses and hips that don't remind me of a side of beef. You like your asses the way you like your cocks... the more hair surrounding the package, the better. You pretend you're not a turd burglar, with your twisted posts about wanting to braid some wildebeest's ass-hair as your mount the cellulite ridden animal from behind. I am quite certain you got the prison tats and permanent mushroom stamp on your forehead that proves which way you swing. I am really supposed to believe your rape kit doesn't include anal lube and an ass condom? You aren't fooling anyone, friend.

Van · Post by **Van** » Wed Apr 08, 2009 10:12 pm

Sam, the thing I have a problem with isn't the sheer size, though of course it can be, in some cases. No, it's when people gloss over the sloppy cellulite factor.

Nobody, not even 'Vic, is going to convince me they prefer a sloppy, cellulite riddled ass. Accept it? Sure. Prefer it? No. They'd take that same ass, minus the cellulite and the extra flab, eight days a week.

Problem is, minus the cellulite and the extra flab, an ass generally won't end up being that huge.

Btw...

BTW, I thought my caption was damn funny. So fuck y'all!

Yeah, I liked it too, but to me that pic's caption needs to be about what the white chick is saying. She's the one with the perfectly captionable expression, and she's the one reacting to that nasty mess coming on to her.

I wanna know what she's saying.

Bobby42 · Post by **Bobby42** » Wed Apr 08, 2009 10:41 pm

Serena's ass has a gravitational field. Paraphrasing Obi-Wan: "That's no ass, it's a planet."

Atomic Punk · Post by **Atomic Punk** » Wed Apr 08, 2009 11:15 pm

Invictus wrote:Let me go back to lurking...

Don't blame you my esteemed brother Vic. What you should have wrote is the following:

/////////////////////////////////////////////

I like big butts and I cannot lie
You other brothers can't deny
That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist
And a round thing in your face
You get sprung, wanna pull out your tough
'Cause you notice that butt was stuffed
Deep in the jeans she's wearing
I'm hooked and I can't stop staring
Oh baby, I wanna get with you
And take your picture
My homeboys tried to warn me
But that butt you got makes me so horny
Ooh, Rump-o'-smooth-skin
You say you wanna get in my Benz?
Well, use me, use me
'Cause you ain't that average groupie
I've seen them dancin'
To hell with romancin'
She's sweat, wet,
Got it goin' like a turbo 'Vette
I'm tired of magazines
Sayin' flat butts are the thing
Take the average black man and ask him that
She gotta pack much back
So, fellas! (Yeah!) Fellas! (Yeah!)
Has your girlfriend got the butt? (Hell yeah!)
Tell 'em to shake it! (Shake it!) Shake it! (Shake it!)
Shake that healthy butt!
Baby got back!

(LA face with Oakland booty)
Baby got back!

[Sir Mix-a-Lot]
I like 'em round, and big
And when I'm throwin' a gig
I just can't help myself, I'm actin' like an animal
Now here's my scandal
I wanna get you home
And ugh, double-up, ugh, ugh
I ain't talkin' bout Playboy
'Cause silicone parts are made for toys
I want 'em real thick and juicy
So find that juicy double
Mix-a-Lot's in trouble
Beggin' for a piece of that bubble
So I'm lookin' at rock videos
Knock-kneeded bimbos walkin' like hoes
You can have them bimbos
I'll keep my women like Flo Jo
A word to the thick soul sisters, I wanna get with ya
I won't cuss or hit ya
But I gotta be straight when I say I wanna *fuck*
Till the break of dawn
Baby got it goin' on
A lot of simps won't like this song
'Cause them punks like to hit it and quit it
And I'd rather stay and play
'Cause I'm long, and I'm strong
And I'm down to get the friction on
So, ladies! {Yeah!} Ladies! {Yeah}
If you wanna roll in my Mercedes {Yeah!}
Then turn around! Stick it out!
Even white boys got to shout
Baby got back!

Baby got back!
Yeah, baby ... when it comes to females, Cosmo ain't got nothin'
to do with my selection. 36-24-36? Ha ha, only if she's 5'3".

[Sir Mix-a-Lot]
So your girlfriend rolls a Honda, playin' workout tapes by Fonda
But Fonda ain't got a motor in the back of her Honda
My anaconda don't want none
Unless you've got buns, hun
You can do side bends or sit-ups,
But please don't lose that butt
Some brothers wanna play that "hard" role
And tell you that the butt ain't gold
So they toss it and leave it
And I pull up quick to retrieve it
So Cosmo says you're fat
Well I ain't down with that!
'Cause your waist is small and your curves are kickin'
And I'm thinkin' bout stickin'
To the beanpole dames in the magazines:
You ain't it, Miss Thing!
Give me a sister, I can't resist her
Red beans and rice didn't miss her
Some knucklehead tried to dis
'Cause his girls are on my list
He had game but he chose to hit 'em
And I pull up quick to get wit 'em
So ladies, if the butt is round,
And you want a triple X throw down,
Dial 1-900-MIXALOT
And kick them nasty thoughts
Baby got back!

////////////////////////////////////

Funniest thing is the new Burger King commercial. Another funny thing is there are a few big-butts in my class that sit right in front of me. All 4 black chicks stuff the equivalent of 10 lbs of bologna into 2 lb bags. The striations, tramp-stamp tats, and upper butt cracks a showin' when they wear those shirts and sweaters designed to barely reach the belt level.

Not for me, butt the others that sit next to me and behind me laugh as I put up a barrier in front so I can at least block 2 of the offensive butt cracks out. Actually, one chick has a big ass butt she has a tiny waste and huge firm titties. They are all cool, but I say no to crack every damn day. Not looking at that.

Good to see you back brother Vic. You remind me of the days when posting was fun and not continuously having shitty posters ankle biting every fucking post I make. Also, Van is cool... just don't bring up memories of the Silverback that kills boards. She was like LTard on 'groids.

Stan Fukkken Pickle · Wed Apr 08, 2009 11:29 pm

White Chick: What the FUKKK! A Gorilla in a swimming suit. Now I've seen everything.

Ape in bikini: I give you two seconds to take dat shite back, you vanilla cracka ass mothafukka!

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Thu Apr 09, 2009 12:24 am

I could see hitting that monster ass.....if my goal is to sire NFL defensive ends.

She needs to hook up with shaq.

Imagine what kind of freaks that genetic material would produce.

Stan Fukkken Pickle · Post by **Stan Fukkken Pickle** » Thu Apr 09, 2009 2:31 am

Serena: Look bitch, stay the fukkk away from my man!

White Chick: You mean Invictus? That thing with a sloping forehead and branch swinging arms? Are you fukkking kidding me? Really? I just wanted to pet it and give it a banana!

Invictus · Post by **Invictus** » Thu Apr 09, 2009 2:36 am

Looks like Ucunt has taken the mantle from Raider James as the poster who uses the most homo in an attempt to hide his own inadequacies as a man.

I post about a woman's ass and the next two posts from you are some homosmack filled rant. Van objected to my post but he didn't feel the need to talk about a man's asshole in the context of prison. Why didn't you? Stop projecting your own fantasies on someone else.

And, anyone who spends an inordinate amount of money on a fucking shirt should NEVER call into question the sexuality of another man. Much like RJ and his tanktop photo, you thought your admission about your shirt would get you props from someone who would call you a snappy dresser. Why, on a board full of men would anyone care what the fuck you spent on a shirt? Are those the actions of hetero men that you know?

You're still the lame poster you were the last time I posted here. Taking a swipe at your social betters won't change so stop sniffing around my ass like some pack dog trying to make a friend of its leader. That poster of Diana Taurasi won't get splattered in your cum if you spend your time messing with me.

Van, Kenya Moore:

Black woman with a "big" behind. Miss USA from a little bit ago. This woman is also stunning and she is more fit than Bria. No doubt you will find some fault with her ass.

Stan Fukkken Pickle · Post by **Stan Fukkken Pickle** » Thu Apr 09, 2009 2:40 am

Fukkken apes. Those asses are absolutley revolting! A visual puke inducer! The fact that black men are actually attracted to that shite really reenforces my opinion of their subhuman animal nature.

Stan Fukkken Pickle · Post by **Stan Fukkken Pickle** » Thu Apr 09, 2009 2:42 am

Invictus wrote:
Black woman with a "big" behind. Miss USA from a little bit ago.

The only reason she won is because of affirmative action and because sometimes us Humans feel great sympathy and compassion for your kind.

Van · Post by **Van** » Thu Apr 09, 2009 2:44 am

'Vic, I'd certainly like to see better pictures of it, but in that pic, yes, I do find fault with it. It has an extra shelf that doesn't belong, and it doesn't look the least bit shapely.

Do I seriously need to go scouring the interwebs, just to show you what a killer ass on a black woman looks like?? I just can't believe that you keep coming up with C+ (at best) ass pics, as your representation of the best of the best.

Invictus · Post by **Invictus** » Thu Apr 09, 2009 3:12 am

Your C+ chief. Your C+ isn't my C+.

This is becoming tiresome. Let's call it a push and agree to disagree. I really can't understand how Kenya Moore is a C+ in your eyes. That to me is just fascinating. She is one of the finest women I've ever laid eyes on. Period.

You have a good night.

Van · Post by **Van** » Thu Apr 09, 2009 3:21 am

Holy crap...

I punched in "black ass pics," as a starting point.

First thing I got was this...

http://www.blackbootyinmotion.com/

...where even the main cover model's thighs and ass are fat, saggy and cellulite ridden. Some of the examples on that page of "great asses" were decent, but some were simply vomitous.

That link led me to this...

http://www.blackbootyinmotion.com/The_P ... t_Butt.htm

...which I just had to read: "The Perfect Butt, from a black man's perspective."

He describes the perfect butt; the why's and wherefores. His main example has a horrible ass, with nasty saddle bags, but at least one of his examples actually does have a nice ass.

Then he gets into this thing called "plappable skin texture," which he says is his favorite thing.

He gives us a video, to show what he's talking about, using this ass as his example...

What in the fuck is wrong with people???

Stan Fukkken Pickle · Post by **Stan Fukkken Pickle** » Thu Apr 09, 2009 3:22 am

Invictus wrote:
You have a good night.

I've often wondered....when you sleep do you hang from your tail or do you just pile a bunch of banana leaves together under a bamboo tree?

Van · Post by **Van** » Thu Apr 09, 2009 3:23 am

Invictus wrote:Your C+ chief. Your C+ isn't my C+.

This is becoming tiresome. Let's call it a push and agree to disagree. I really can't understand how Kenya Moore is a C+ in your eyes. That to me is just fascinating. She is one of the finest women I've ever laid eyes on. Period.

You have a good night.

'Vic, I'm not talking about all of her. She's obviously a beautiful woman. I'm only talking about her ass, in that pic you showed. In that pic her ass is a C+, at best.

That suit and that pic doesn't do her ass any justice, if in fact she does have a great ass.

Stan Fukkken Pickle · Post by **Stan Fukkken Pickle** » Thu Apr 09, 2009 3:24 am

Van wrote:
What in the fuck is wrong with people???

People?

Nothing is wrong with "people"....we don't find that shite attractive. Perhaps you should rephrase your question.