These soak up blood clots better then anything on the planet!
Meet Vince Shlomi. He's probably better known to you as the ShamWow Guy, the ubiquitous television pitchman who has been phenomenally successful peddling absorbent towels and food choppers. Shlomi, 44, was arrested last month on a felony battery charge following a violent confrontation with a prostitute in his South Beach hotel room. According to an arrest affidavit, Shlomi met Sasha Harris, 26, at a Miami Beach nightclub on February 7 and subsequently retired with her to his $750 room at the lavish Setai hotel. Shlomi told cops he paid Harris about $1000 in cash after she "propositioned him for straight sex." Shlomi said that when he kissed Harris, she suddenly "bit his tongue and would not let go." Shlomi then punched Harris several times until she released his tongue. The affidavit, a copy of which you'll find here, notes that during the 4 AM fight Harris sustained facial fractures and lacerations all over her face (she is pictured here in mug shots snapped following busts in 2008 and 2005). After freeing his tongue, a bleeding Shlomi ran to the Setai lobby, where security summoned cops. Harris refused to cooperate with officers, who recovered $930 from her purse. "Both parties had a strong odor of an alcoholic beverage emitting from their persons," police reported. In a brief telephone interview, Harris declined to answer TSG questions about her run-in with Shlomi, though she did say she is considering a lawsuit against the pitchman. Asked if she worked as a hooker, Harris declined comment. As seen in the below mug shot, Shlomi was also injured during the fracas and, court records show, was treated at Mount Sinai Medical Center. While Shlomi and Harris were both arrested for felony aggravated battery, prosecutors this month declined to file formal charges against the combatants. Police records list Shlomi's occupation as "Marketing," but make no mention of his affiliation with the ShamWow or the Slap Chop, both of which sell for $19.95 (plus shipping and handling). (6 pages)
smackaholic wrote:Can't wait to see what south park does with this.
What more can be done with this? The comedic value of the actual event stands on its own. It's like wytching the AP panty pic. Nothing can really be added to make that any funnier.
smackaholic wrote:Can't wait to see what south park does with this. You just know those fukkers are writing the script already.
I just hope they thank baby jesus for providing such material.
I suspect family guy will work this in as well.
Not only have you commented on a story that is 2 weeks old, but you've also shown how easily you are entertained by shitty programming. Save yourself some money and ask your wife to shake a set of keys in front of your face for an hour.
smackaholic wrote:Can't wait to see what south park does with this.
What more can be done with this? The comedic value of the actual event stands on its own. It's like wytching the AP panty pic. Nothing can really be added to make that any funnier.
He's talking about South Park. Isn't that what that program is about, but stating the obvious to obese couch stains? After he's done with his South Park for the evening, he can usually be found watching reruns of America's Funniest Home Videos while eating from a feedbag.
GOSD wrote:Not only have you commented on a story that is 2 weeks old, but you've also shown how easily you are entertained by shitty programming. Save yourself some money and ask your wife to shake a set of keys in front of your face for an hour.
