This baseball season had been incident free

[SoCalTrjn]

until tonight.

The team is undefeated but has been low key and down to earth about it, they have even shaken the hands of the enemy teams after each game. Tonight in the 4th inning and up 15-1 the kid I had playing 1st, to get his pt in, hit the dug out fence awkwardly and it appeared he had broken his wrist. Now being 12 he started to cry when a player on the other team began mocking him even said he was crying like a bitch. My catcher Brian said "watch your mouth 4 or Ill kick your teeth in," I then asked Brian to go back to the mound and take a knee with the rest of his team. When we got Jacob off the field and to the dug out, I brought the team back to me and quietly said we were going to bean #4 for Jacob. next inning #4 comes up to bat and I pull a switch, got Brian who is my hardest thrower to go to the mound to pitch. He threw the first 2 down and away and came back with the next one as hard as he could, high and tight, hit the kid square in the ribs and he began to squeal like a stuck pig. He tried to get up to his feet but then fell down again, thats when Brian started rubbing his eyes like he was crying, then he turned to the second basemen and the short stop and said "look who's the little bitch now." The other sides parents started calling to the ump, the Pony League officials who were already at the field filling out the injury report on Jacob then had to go out and keep the peace, they asked Brian if it was intentional and he said no, he was just trying to over throw the ball, they asked me why Brian was pitching and I told them he was my closer, hadnt worked the last 4 games and i was trying to get him some innings.
During the good game handshake after the game was over the team all skipped shaking #4s hand and they were clowing him a bit after the game but 13 games in to the season, the first incident was over due.

[M Club]

i'm all for beaning a kid to show him what's up, though i would've gone for the head. what else is the helmet supposed to protect the little wanker from? aside from obvious editing issue, your fiction needs work, especially the details.

[Screw_Michigan]

The irony here is fucking rich. Last night after the Caps game, I was cruising the board and honestly thought to myself "haven't heard from toe-jam in a while, and it's full on baseball season. Something doesn't seem right." Bwahaha.

[M Club]

you mean the coincidence here is fucking rich.

[WolverineSteve]

This shit is so phoney.

Sin,
The Crew

[SoCalTrjn]

If that story is true, I hope you have criminal charges brought against you, I hope some personal injury lawyer sues your worthless ass, and I hope you never have an opportunity to coach another child in anything.

You suck for intentionally hitting that other player.

Happens in baseball all the time and it shut #4's yap. It did cost us Brian for saturdays game though as the Pony League officials called me today and said that was the third hitter he has hit this season and all were considered "retalitory" by the opposing coach so they suspended him for one game. Jacob has a broken wrist and his being out will mean that we will only have 10 players Saturday with Brians suspension.
My son came home from school today and said that a couple kids on the other team told that #4 kid to shut up and it wasnt cool to make fun of someone who was hurt but the kid was an MP douche and none of them were really upset he got plunked.
They had hit 3 of our batters during the game but their pitchers had horrible control and mechanics anyway

[MgoBlue-LightSpecial]

Happens in MLB all the time, not a league with players that haven't even sprouted pubes yet.

[SoCalTrjn]

They're 12 and 13, they may have

[SunCoastSooner]

ToeJam coaches girls soccer as well apparently...

http://www.patriotledger.com/sports/x57 ... view=print

SCITUATE —

A girls soccer coach who told parents of his 6- and 7-year-old charges that he expected his players to “kick ass” has resigned.

Click here to read Kinahan's controversial original e-mail and click here to read his resignation.

The email was originally posted on BarStoolSports.com

Michael Kinahan says he “meant to give parents a chuckle” but that people took his message on a the team he dubbed “Green Death” the wrong way.

In an e-mail message to parents last week, Kinahan wrote that the girls on his team would “fall, get bumps, bruises and even bleed a little. Big deal, it’s good for them (but I do hope the other team is the one bleeding).

“The political correctness police are not welcome on my sidelines,” he added.

Kinahan resigned after parents protested to league officials. Other parents have said they support his approach, said Chris Park, the registrar for the Scituate Youth Soccer League.

“He’s got a wry, sarcastic sense of humor. I think this whole thing just blew up on him,” Park said.

Kinahan also wrote that he expected “that the ladies be put on a diet of fish, undercooked red meat and lots of veggies ... Protein shakes are encouraged, and while blood doping and HGH use is frowned upon, there is no testing policy.”

Park said a major concern for league officials was Kinahan’s comments about referees.

“My heckling of the refs is actually helping them develop as people,” he wrote.

Park said a 12-year-old referee refused to return this year because of the way Kinahan treated her last year.

“That did lend some truth to what he said in the e-mail,” said Park.

Kinahan said his message was “largely (albeit not completely) meant in jest.”

“It was also meant as a satire of those who take youth sports too seriously for the wrong reasons,” he said.

--

THE COACH’S ORIGINAL E-MAIL

Congratulations on being selected for Team 7 (forest green shirts) of the Scituate Soccer Club! My name is Michael and I have been fortunate enough to be selected to coach what I know will be a wonderful group of young ladies. Chris Mac will also be coaching and I expect the ever popular Terry to return to the sidelines. Our first game will be Saturday April 4 at 10:00AM. There will be a half hour of skills followed by a 1 hour game, so total time will be 1.5 hours. All games will be played on the fields in the front of the High School. Each player will be required to wear shin guards and cleats are recommended but not required. A ball will be provided to each player at the first meeting, and each player should bring the ball to games and practices. There is no set practice time allotted for the U8 teams, but I will convene with the coaches to determine the best time and place. If there are cancellations due to rain, all notices will be posted via the Scituate Soccer Club website, no calls will be made (though I will try to send an email). Attached is the Schedule and Code of Conduct. After listening to the head of the referees drone on for about 30 minutes on the dangers of jewelry (time which I will never get back), no player will be allowed to play with pierced ears, hairclips, etc. We used to tape the earings, but that practice is no longer acceptable. Please let me know if your child has any health issues that I need to be aware of. My home phone is 781 XXX XXXX, my cell number is 781 XXX XXXX, and I check my email frequently. According to my wife, my emails get too wordy, so for those of you read too slowly, are easily offended, or are too busy, you can stop here. For the others……

OK, here’s the real deal: Team 7 will be called Green Death. We will only acknowledge “Team 7” for scheduling and disciplinary purposes. Green Death has had a long and colorful history, and I fully expect every player and parent to be on board with the team. This is not a team, but a family (some say cult), that you belong to forever. We play fair at all times, but we play tough and physical soccer. We have some returning players who know the deal; for the others, I only expect 110% at every game and practice. We do not cater to superstars, but prefer the gritty determination of journeymen who bring their lunch pail to work every week, chase every ball and dig in corners like a Michael Vick pit bull. Unless there is an issue concerning the health of my players or inside info on the opposition, you probably don’t need to talk to me. Coach MacDonald has been designated “good guy” this year.

Some say soccer at this age is about fun and I completely agree. However, I believe winning is fun and losing is for losers. Ergo, we will strive for the “W” in each game. While we may not win every game (excuse me, I just got a little nauseated) I expect us to fight for every loose ball and play every shift as if it were the finals of the World Cup. While I spent a good Saturday morning listening to the legal liability BS, which included a 30 minute dissertation on how we need to baby the kids and especially the refs, I was disgusted. The kids will run, they will fall, get bumps, bruises and even bleed a little. Big deal, it’s good for them (but I do hope the other team is the one bleeding). If the refs can’t handle a little criticism, then they should turn in their whistle. The sooner they figure out how to make a decision and live with the consequences the better. My heckling of the refs is actually helping them develop as people. The political correctness police are not welcome on my sidelines. America’s youth is becoming fat, lazy and non-competitive because competition is viewed as “bad”. I argue that competition is good and is important to the evolution of our species and our survival in what has become an increasingly competitive global economy and dangerous world. Second place trophies are nothing to be proud of as they serve only as a reminder that you missed your goal; their only useful purpose is as an inspiration to do that next set of reps. Do you go to a job interview and not care about winning? Don’t animals eat what they kill (and yes, someone actually kills the meat we eat too – it isn’t grown in plastic wrap)? And speaking of meat, I expect that the ladies be put on a diet of fish, undercooked red meat and lots of veggies. No junk food. Protein shakes are encouraged, and while blood doping and HGH use is frowned upon, there is no testing policy. And at the risk of stating the obvious, blue slushies are for winners.

These are my views and not necessarily the views of the league (but they should be). I recognize that my school of thought may be an ideological shift from conventional norms. But it is imperative that we all fight the good fight, get involved now and resist the urge to become sweat-xedo-wearing yuppies who sit on the sidelines in their LL Bean chairs sipping mocha-latte-half-caf-chinos while discussing reality TV and home decorating with other feeble-minded folks. I want to hear cheering, I want to hear encouragement, I want to get the team pumped up at each and every game and know they are playing for something.

Lastly, we are all cognizant of the soft bigotry that expects women and especially little girls, to be dainty and submissive; I wholeheartedly reject such drivel. My overarching goal is develop ladies who are confident and fearless, who will stand up for their beliefs and challenge the status quo. Girls who will kick ass and take names on the field, off the field and throughout their lives. I want these girls to be winners in the game of life. Who’s with me?

Go Green Death!

--

KINAHAN’S RESIGNATION

Team, After careful consideration, I have decided to resign from all coaching responsibilities related to Team 7 this season. Unfortunately, it has come to my attention that some parents and the Board of Scituate Soccer failed to see the humor in my pre-season email. For the avoidance of doubt, the email was largely (albeit not completely) meant in jest and with the goal of giving the parents a chuckle while enduring yet another round of organized youth sports. It was also meant as a satire of those who take youth sports too seriously for the wrong reasons. My overarching goal is the well-being of my players, and I do not want any player to feel uncomfortable, nor do I want to see the team disbanded because of a lack of active players. Therefore, while I’d prefer to go down swinging, it’s really about the kids and it just makes more sense for me to take the year off.

While I respectfully disagree with the Board's interpretation of my comments, I believe that they should be commended for their immediate actions to address the concerns of the offended parties. The Board’s action proves that the chain of command is functioning as designed. Board members volunteer their valuable time and I do not plan to add to their already significant workload. I also respect those parents who were offended as I am sure they acted in the best interest of their children. While I may question their sense of humor, I have no right to question their judgment regarding their children. Perhaps we may even have beer (I’ll buy) and a couple of laughs at the end of all of this.

And while I am sorry some people failed to see the humor, I do not apologize for my actions; I wrote it, I think it's funny and I do have a distaste for the tediousness of overbearing political correctness. Furthermore, I was serious about parental involvement as I do believe parents should cheer and encourage players (in a positive fashion obviously) so that the kids feel the excitement that comes from team competition. And most importantly, I was completely serious that I want to see each young girl develop a positive self image, self-confidence and the will to succeed in any endeavor that she desires. Lastly, I have added some comments to my initial email (in capitals) to clarify several points that may have been viewed as offensive.

Sincerely,

Michael A. Kinahan

Go Green Death!

[M Club]

If that story is true, I hope you have criminal charges brought against you, I hope some personal injury lawyer sues your worthless ass, and I hope you never have an opportunity to coach another child in anything.

You suck for intentionally hitting that other player.

the first person who deserves an intentional beaning is the dipshit who laughs at another kid's injury. wanker obviously hasn't learned that point yet, so who better to teach him than a rawlings. it's a lot better than having your teeth knocked out after doing the same shit when you're 20 and on meth.

also, how many holes are there in this story? your kids openly mock a crying player and then get away with a simple "wuh, me?" or that they suspend a 12-year-old for intentionally throwing at three players without tracing it back to his pederast coach? i think mark twain said you never have to remember a thing if you always tell the truth.

[M Club]

figured out who toejam is: the coach from mysterious skin.

[Screw_Michigan]

Why doesn't toe jam just man up and post this in the smack forum?

[MgoBlue-LightSpecial]

Good idea.

[smackaholic]

Rack that soccer coach in mass.

Socal, if this story is true, you're a dumbass for posting it here. Never know who might be lurking on the interwebs or who here might have enough info to rat you out. if you used actual names and the info is close enough to the real story, i could see you getting in legal trouble over it. And having a fukking kid intentional throw anything more than belt high is pretty fukking stupid. Do you think an amped up hard throwing 12 year old is gonna have much control? What would you have thought if he put one in that kid's eye?

Rack the little league dad that eventually beats the shit outta you.

[trev]

What a disturbing coach and person you are. I expect to see you in the news at some point. You or your son. Way to go, "dad."

[Terry in Crapchester]

What a disturbing coach and person you are. I expect to see you in the news at some point.

There's a number of people on this board about whom that statement is true for me. And not in a good way. Schmick is certainly one, but he's far from the only one.

[ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2]

RACK Schmick... one of my all time favorite trolls.

[Van]

One guy I could see making that list is Warren. He's one of my favorite people here, but man does he seem like he's wound awfully tight.

The one I'd like to see make the news is 'Spray. If that guy ever makes the news, woo, it's going to be hilariously memorable.

[SoCalTrjn]

I may have to take a few of that soccer coaches lines and use them, I think my sons and 3 or 4 of the other kids that I have kept on my teams for about 4 seasons can recite my "play with hate in your heart" and "they may be your friends outside the lines but within them, they're the enemy" pregame speaches by now and I need some more material.
Where that coach made his mistake was not talking to the parents during try outs and prior to the draft, if a kids mom brings him to try outs and dad isnt there, dont draft the kid, if the kids dad doesnt agree that winning the championship is important, you dont draft the kid. Driven competitive kids come from driven competitive parents and I dont have time to fuck about with some fucking worthless twat thats there because his mommy and daddy just want him to get away from the Nintendo, if Im forced to draft one of those he will run so much in the practices before the first game he will either shape up or wash out, either way, the team is better off.

[Screw_Michigan]

Rack that soccer coach in mass.

You would rack a dumb motherfucker like that soccer coach. They're six and seven years old. Dude obviously has just a few less firing synapses upstairs than you.

[SoCalTrjn]

Rack that soccer coach in mass.

You would rack a dumb motherfucker like that soccer coach. They're six and seven years old. Dude obviously has just a few less firing synapses upstairs than you.

thats a stupid fucking arguement that has been used by "PC assholes" for years. First its "theyre 6 or 7 years old" then "theyre only 9 years old" followed by "theyre just 12 and 13." At what fucking point do you stop making excuses for them? If they signed up to play they need to learn to play right, the way the sport is played and by the sports real rules. "Everyone Plays" bullshit is fucking the children of today, "let's not keep score so they never have to deal with diversity or heart ache," theyre going to grow up and expect to play wheteher theyre any good or not, entitled fuck ups are whats killing this country.
Every kid isnt special, some cant run or throw worth a shit, they dont deserve to be on a team of capable players that can get the job done only to be drug down by the weakest link. Why would you PC cocksuckers want to strap the able kids with the fucked up ones at an early age? To guilt them in to taking care of fucked up people the rest of their lives, thats why. the best thing you can tell the capable kids about the incapable ones, scrape them off, theyre none of your concern.

[Terry in Crapchester]

One guy I could see making that list is Warren. He's one of my favorite people here, but man does he seem like he's wound awfully tight.

I could see mvscal making the news for much the same reason, unless this entire message board thing is one huge troll job for him.

[Van]

mvscal releases so much anger and frustration here that in real life he probably exhibits the peaceful serenity of a zen buddhist.

This message board is society's safety valve.

[MgoBlue-LightSpecial]

If they signed up to play they need to learn to play right, the way the sport is played and by the sports real rules. "Everyone Plays" bullshit is fucking the children of today, "let's not keep score so they never have to deal with diversity or heart ache,"

Nobody here is really calling for political correctness. We're mostly making fun of you because you're a fucking tool.

Hope that helps.

[Van]

Hopefully you torched the car.

Afterwards.

[Ana Ng]

I remember the days when, if you were up 15-1.....and the other team would say or do ANYTHING offside, you'd just point to the scoreboard.

I can see how unfulfilling that could be.

[smackaholic]

Rack that soccer coach in mass.

You would rack a dumb motherfucker like that soccer coach. They're six and seven years old. Dude obviously has just a few less firing synapses upstairs than you.

He was joking, dullard.

Sorry, mv, but, you are wrong. Well, you're right about SM being a dullard.

I like that coach. I like his attitude, his obvious devotion to his team, his sense of humor and his utter contempt for PC.

[Screw_Michigan]

Hence, why I knew Suckaholic would endorse the behavior of some braindead fucktard. If you are so retarded to believe that anything past this:

THE COACH’S ORIGINAL E-MAIL

Congratulations on being selected for Team 7 (forest green shirts) of the Scituate Soccer Club! My name is Michael and I have been fortunate enough to be selected to coach what I know will be a wonderful group of young ladies. Chris Mac will also be coaching and I expect the ever popular Terry to return to the sidelines. Our first game will be Saturday April 4 at 10:00AM. There will be a half hour of skills followed by a 1 hour game, so total time will be 1.5 hours. All games will be played on the fields in the front of the High School. Each player will be required to wear shin guards and cleats are recommended but not required. A ball will be provided to each player at the first meeting, and each player should bring the ball to games and practices. There is no set practice time allotted for the U8 teams, but I will convene with the coaches to determine the best time and place. If there are cancellations due to rain, all notices will be posted via the Scituate Soccer Club website, no calls will be made (though I will try to send an email). Attached is the Schedule and Code of Conduct. After listening to the head of the referees drone on for about 30 minutes on the dangers of jewelry (time which I will never get back), no player will be allowed to play with pierced ears, hairclips, etc. We used to tape the earings, but that practice is no longer acceptable. Please let me know if your child has any health issues that I need to be aware of. My home phone is 781 XXX XXXX, my cell number is 781 XXX XXXX, and I check my email frequently. According to my wife, my emails get too wordy, so for those of you read too slowly, are easily offended, or are too busy, you can stop here. For the others……

is appropriate, and lack the intellectual wherewithal to determine that the following is completely inappropriate, especially when concering six and seven year olds, and that this guy obviously lacks the critical thinking skills and decision making abilities to lead any organization, especially one composed of six and seven year olds:

OK, here’s the real deal: Team 7 will be called Green Death. We will only acknowledge “Team 7” for scheduling and disciplinary purposes. Green Death has had a long and colorful history, and I fully expect every player and parent to be on board with the team. This is not a team, but a family (some say cult), that you belong to forever. We play fair at all times, but we play tough and physical soccer. We have some returning players who know the deal; for the others, I only expect 110% at every game and practice. We do not cater to superstars, but prefer the gritty determination of journeymen who bring their lunch pail to work every week, chase every ball and dig in corners like a Michael Vick pit bull. Unless there is an issue concerning the health of my players or inside info on the opposition, you probably don’t need to talk to me. Coach MacDonald has been designated “good guy” this year.

Some say soccer at this age is about fun and I completely agree. However, I believe winning is fun and losing is for losers. Ergo, we will strive for the “W” in each game. While we may not win every game (excuse me, I just got a little nauseated) I expect us to fight for every loose ball and play every shift as if it were the finals of the World Cup. While I spent a good Saturday morning listening to the legal liability BS, which included a 30 minute dissertation on how we need to baby the kids and especially the refs, I was disgusted. The kids will run, they will fall, get bumps, bruises and even bleed a little. Big deal, it’s good for them (but I do hope the other team is the one bleeding). If the refs can’t handle a little criticism, then they should turn in their whistle. The sooner they figure out how to make a decision and live with the consequences the better. My heckling of the refs is actually helping them develop as people. The political correctness police are not welcome on my sidelines. America’s youth is becoming fat, lazy and non-competitive because competition is viewed as “bad”. I argue that competition is good and is important to the evolution of our species and our survival in what has become an increasingly competitive global economy and dangerous world. Second place trophies are nothing to be proud of as they serve only as a reminder that you missed your goal; their only useful purpose is as an inspiration to do that next set of reps. Do you go to a job interview and not care about winning? Don’t animals eat what they kill (and yes, someone actually kills the meat we eat too – it isn’t grown in plastic wrap)? And speaking of meat, I expect that the ladies be put on a diet of fish, undercooked red meat and lots of veggies. No junk food. Protein shakes are encouraged, and while blood doping and HGH use is frowned upon, there is no testing policy. And at the risk of stating the obvious, blue slushies are for winners.

These are my views and not necessarily the views of the league (but they should be). I recognize that my school of thought may be an ideological shift from conventional norms. But it is imperative that we all fight the good fight, get involved now and resist the urge to become sweat-xedo-wearing yuppies who sit on the sidelines in their LL Bean chairs sipping mocha-latte-half-caf-chinos while discussing reality TV and home decorating with other feeble-minded folks. I want to hear cheering, I want to hear encouragement, I want to get the team pumped up at each and every game and know they are playing for something.

Lastly, we are all cognizant of the soft bigotry that expects women and especially little girls, to be dainty and submissive; I wholeheartedly reject such drivel. My overarching goal is develop ladies who are confident and fearless, who will stand up for their beliefs and challenge the status quo. Girls who will kick ass and take names on the field, off the field and throughout their lives. I want these girls to be winners in the game of life. Who’s with me?

Go Green Death!

...then you are a fucking idiot. Full stop. Case closed.

[Screw_Michigan]

This gem is the best:

If the refs can’t handle a little criticism, then they should turn in their whistle. The sooner they figure out how to make a decision and live with the consequencesthe better. My heckling of the refs is actually helping them develop as people.

I wonder how Suckaholic's hero is living with the consequences of his behavior? Of course, there will be no behavior modification out of this because he his being martyrd by Suckaholic and his braindead ilk.

Have another bong toke, loser.

[Van]

Why you gotta hate nature?