Welcome, everyone, to the first ever T1B PET-OFF!

[ChargerMike]

The only bans I'm seeing currently are cuda and KoalaCaramel's Pubes.

...what about this guy?

[MgoBlue-LightSpecial]

Looks like the contest is under way.

http://thetrolls.net/phpbb/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=4263

Here's a little story I'd like to share about Jock Humper. It goes like this...






Jack takes a seat at his computer. He looks deeply into his monitor - his stare is cold and stern. His mouth, slightly downturned. His focus is sharp. "I'll show those T1B faggots," he grumbles to himself. "I'll show them how homo they are, godDAMNIT!"

His mission is clear, and he couldn't be giddier. His palms are sweaty from the impending arousal and excitement of the task at hand. He grabs the mouse and fires up Internet Explorer.

Jack can't help the boyish, shit slirping grin plastered on his face from ear to ear as he ponders his next move. For THIS is a clever guy, and he's gonna show all those big mean jerks at T1B that have got him cowering in fear behind a shitty, forgettable troll.

"Bwahahahaha, he laughs devilishly to himself like Dr. Claw. Homo smack! That's the ticket! Wait...not just any homo smack but GENERIC homo smack! YESSS!!! That's NEVER been done before! I'll get em! I'll get em good!! Bwahahaha!"

"But first I gotta do a little research," he says while rubbing his hands together, impressed by his brilliance.

He puts his cursor in the address box and begins to type..."www.wellhungstud..." but then the rest of it auto fills. He hits enter and proceeds to the site.

This site doesn't waste any time. The first page just pops with row after row of dudes molesting dudes. "NOW THIS IS WHAT I'M TALKIN' BOUT MUTHA FUCKA!" Jack exclaims. "This is EXACTLY the kind of sick shit those perverted faggots are into. God, they're so gay. I bet they're beating off to this shit right now! They must be, because I just said so."

Jack takes his time, and I mean really, REALLY takes his time, as he scrolls to the bottom of the page. It's free pic after free pic of gay dudes having gaysexual sex, yet Jack thinks to himself, "Man, I'm just not fully satisfied with this collection. Not quite gay enough for those gaymos. I need something better. Something bigger. Something harder. Something GAYER."

"YESSSS, AND COUNT IT!" he shouts to himself in his Marv Albert voice, as he high-fives the air.

Then he sits and ponders for a moment until it hits him..."OF COURSE!" he roars. "The MEMBERS ONLY SECTION!!! THEY'VE GOT ALLLLLL THE GOODS THERE!" Overjoyed and overthrobbed, Jack starts ruffling through stacks of papers on his desk. "Now where in the FUCK did I put my username and password?" he exclaims.

"Aha! Found it!" he belts out with joy. Onto the Members Only forum for that goldmine of disgusting gay porn pics that he's so grossed out by he's paying $49.95 a month for. "You can't put a price on message board ammo," he says all smug-like to himself, just like this



So he's in the premium shit now, and starts scrolling rrrrrrealy slowly again. Then he wonders to himself, "why the fuck do my Levi's get so tight when I'm on here?"

"Whatever," he thinks, and shakes it off. He gets about halfway down the page and finds exactly what he's looking for. "BING BONG, JACKPOT!" he screeches. He jumps out of his chair and does one of these



"MAN, THAT BIG THROBBING DICK IS FUCKING SIIIIIIICK! THAT IS EXACTLY THE KIND OF SHIT THOSE FAGS AT T1B ARE INTO. I JUST KNOW IT! SWEET JESUS, ARE THEY GAY!!

~Right click, save as~

"I'll just go ahead and add that one to the collection," he says to himself. "You know, just in case. You can't have too much ammo. Yep, that's what I'm gonna do, and that's ALL I'm gonna do, yessiree. I've got NO other plans with this pic, not on Friday night, not on ANY night. Nope, sure don't."

Suddenly, after the celebration, Jack realizes something is wrong but he can't quite place it. He stands straight up, totally frozen and emotionless, with a quizzical look on his face. He looks down, down toward his jeans, and spots something funny lookin'.

"Tha fuck is that," he wonders to himself. He leans in close and starts to inspect himself a little. "Huh. Weird. It's all warm and sticky," he says as he's thinking aloud. "Musta spilled that old glass of milk on myself. Yeah, that's it, milk."

But then Jack looks at the edge of the computer desk, and there's that old glass of milk, still sitting there completely untouched. "Well, fuck, he thinks to himself."

The atmosphere turns stale and awkward, despite the fact Jack's alone.

He looks back at that glass of milk. He leans in toward it and slowly pushes the glass closer to the edge of the table, as if its walking a plank. The glass is at the edge, ready to tip at the slightest touch. He pauses slightly and then swiftly knocks it over with his index finger. He watches it stream out the glass, almost like it's in slow motion. He watches it all pour out until it hits the floor and puddles the carpet. Somehow, that made him feel better -- much, much better.

Jack snaps out of it and rushes to the bathroom to clean himself up. Little does he know, his 7 year old son is home and plops himself at daddy's computer to partake in a little Yahoo gaming.

He grabs the mouse and begins navigating, but of course the first thing he notices is a 10 inch crank F11'd on the monitor. It's almost like he's got 3D glasses on, with the way that shit's protruding, but this wasn't one of those cute little Pixar films. Still, Jack's son wasn't mortified, but in fact, rather intrigued.

Soon after, Jack marches back into the bedroom with fucking BUSINESS on his mind. Then he spots his son on the computer. "JIMMY! THA FUCK ARE YOU DOING!??!"

"Hi Daddy," he says innocently. "What are these men doing, Daddy? And why are you watching it?"

Jack's breathing heavily, he's PISSED, but mostly nervous and scared. He finally collects himself and sits his son down at the edge of the bed for a little father-son chat.

"Son," he begins in the most sincere, fatherly voice he can muster, "You see son, I'm searching for pictures of gay men having rough sex in order to prove how gay others are. This is a SICK and TWISTED world we live in and we must all do our parts to rid the planet, or at least the internet, of these filthy faggots. Do you understand?"

"Well...not exactly..." his son mutters.

"Don't worry about it, son. Just run along and forget any of this ever happened, mmkay?"

Jack's son scampers away, and Jack breathes a sigh of relief. "That was a close one," he thinks to himself. "Welp, better get back after it. These homos aren't gonna out themselves."

[poptart]

Luther is not banned.

Luther was run.