Okay, T1B dream interpreters, do your worst....

Van · Post by **Van** » Tue Feb 23, 2010 6:59 pm

I rarely seem to have dreams anymore, at least of the type that I can still remember after I wake up. When I do have dreams, they're never even remotely 'normal' in their content. They're never about day-to-day life things. It's also been too long to recall since I've had any sort of a sexual dream.

I had a dream this morning, and it was vivid enough that I can recall a decent bit of it. As usual, though, with my dreams, it was entirely disjointed and bizarre. Here's what I can remember....

I was standing behind a bamboo fence which backed up to a river bank. I was in a covered parking lot adjacent to a very crowded and narrow frontage street teeming with open-air businesses and people. This street was almost more of an alley than a real street.

It was daytime, and I was there with some unknown person. We were peering over the fence at a giant, futuristic ship on the river. It was metallic silver, bow to stern, and just ungodly tall. This ship dwarfed the river, and it towered over the bustling alley.

The next thing I knew, I was in the main control center of the ship, which, oddly, was at the prow of the ship. This ship wasn't shaped like anything I've ever seen before. It was shaped like an arrowhead propped up on its side, with the pointy tip being at the stern and most everything else being at the vertical, broad portion near the bow. The control center was right at the top, at the very front, like an airplane's cockpit. It was also rounded and bulbous like some airplane cockpits.

Two anonymous white men were talking about these RPG-looking things one of them was holding. These weapons - or whatever they were - looked like stainless steel Q-tips or matchsticks, and they were about four feet long. The guy nearest me was holding two of them like baguettes in his arms as the two men peered out over the river. These two guys didn't know I was there. I was a spy, or something.

Suddenly I sprang forward and knocked the two RPGs from the guy's arms, and they flew out the open window. Again, this control center was at the prow of the ship, so the RPGs were sailing towards the water. I jumped through the window and caught the RPGs before landing with a splash in the river.

The next thing I remembered, I was standing at the riverside, about fifty yards behind the massive ship, which was easily a good hundred yards long and another fifty yards high. For whatever reason, and I don't know how I did it, but I literally threw both RPGs - at the same time - at that bulbous control center of the ship. They were just silver-looking Q-Tips, after all. There was nothing to fire, per se, so I threw them, and I managed to throw them something like a hundred and fifty yards. It was like watching the flaming arrow shot out of the stadium by that Spanish archer at the opening of the Barcelona Olympics.

Here's one of the places where it really got weird. I saw those RPGs fly towards the ship, hit it, then fall harmlessly to the river. I also saw them hit the side of the ship and explode, just aft of the control center windows. It was like watching a firecracker sparkling against a garage door. Their little explosion had no impact whatsoever on the ship. I saw both scenarios, one right after the other.

A moment later I was back on the other side of the bamboo fence, and people were running up and down the street. It was noisy, with everyone hustling and bustling, and police were blowing whistles and frantically running. I saw an Asian policeman or military person running through the carport, headed in my direction. I didn't know whether he was coming for me or not. In an attempt to simply blend in and appear non-suspicious, I knelt by the grill of a car to casually tie my shoes, and as I was tying my shoes I was wondering why I wasn't wet from being in the river? I decided that it was a good thing that I was still dry.

The Asian policeman ran right on by me.

Fast-forward to a group meeting in an upstairs conference room of a two-story, wooden A-frame business building in a quiet, Seattle suburb. I don't know how I knew it was a Seattle suburb, but I just did. I was there with about twenty people, listening to some guy talk about something. I can't recall what he was talking about.

The meeting broke up, and a few of us were milling around afterwards in the parking lot. Soon it was just myself and one girl, who sort of looked like the Jewish girl in Inglourious Basterds, the one who owned the theater. She and I were hugging while leaning against the side of a carport, and the guy who held the meeting upstairs was standing at the entrance to the building, watching us.

The girl was wearing a summer dress, and for some reason I was holding some sort of pastry. As we hugged and kissed, she sucked on my lower lip, and I sucked on her tongue. That much, I vividly recall. Then I took that little pastry and pressed it to her golden brown chest, just above her breasts. I squeezed out a little bit of honey from the pastry, then I opened the top of her dress to let the honey drip down to her nipple. She had no discernible areola; just a small yet thick nipple. She smiled at me and arched her back, offering me her breast. I began to lave that nipple, and she ran her hand through my hair, with her dress bunched up at her waist.

After licking up the honey, I glanced down, and all she was wearing was a tan-colored g-string. I had no idea where her dress went. I could see her taut stomach, and she had a small pendant dangling from her belly button. I knelt to kiss her stomach, and her g-string was suddenly gone too. I kissed her stomach, then I grasped her by the hips and lifted her, turning her upside down, facing away from me. While standing and leaning back against the carport, I draped her legs over my shoulders on either side of my face, then I just dove in and hungrily ate her completely shaved pussy. She had slightly puffy outer labia, but no visible inner-lips. I nuzzled her pussy open with my mouth and slipped my tongue in as far as I could, then I sucked on her prominent, pink clit.

She was hanging upside down against my body, and we both stopped and looked over to the building. The guy was still watching us. With his arms folded, he subtly shook his head and kept watching us. The girl looked up at me and undulated her hips, letting me know to continue. I peeled her open with my fingertips until I could see her pink center, and after taking in her scent for a moment, I pressed my mouth inside.

That's it. I woke up then.

So, let's hear it. What the fuck was all that about?

Cuda · Post by **Cuda** » Tue Feb 23, 2010 7:04 pm

you're nuttier than a case of snikckers bars, and gayer than a ungaro spring frock

Van · Post by **Van** » Tue Feb 23, 2010 7:08 pm

Well, okay, that would certainly be one poorly articulated, drunk-before-noon interpretation.

ChargerMike · Post by **ChargerMike** » Tue Feb 23, 2010 7:15 pm

...dude!

Van · Post by **Van** » Tue Feb 23, 2010 7:17 pm

ChargerMike wrote:...dude!

While I admire the passion, there's really not much to work with there.

Mikey · Post by **Mikey** » Tue Feb 23, 2010 7:25 pm

I see a lot of very strong symbolism here.
What it all boils down to is...

You secretly wish you were a geisha.

Van · Post by **Van** » Tue Feb 23, 2010 7:27 pm

Mikey wrote:I see a lot of very strong symbolism here.
What it all boils down to is...

You secretly wish you were a geisha.

This one has some potential. Expound, please.

Mikey · Post by **Mikey** » Tue Feb 23, 2010 7:30 pm

You need to give me some time.

I'll have to read it first, then maybe I can come up with something.

ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2 · Tue Feb 23, 2010 7:32 pm

Van wrote:These weapons - or whatever they were - looked like stainless steel Q-tips or matchsticks, and they were about four feet long.

:swoon:

Sin,

Stanislov Peekkkle

Tom In VA · Post by **Tom In VA** » Tue Feb 23, 2010 7:36 pm

It means you're on the edge of some major changes coming into your life.

Van · Post by **Van** » Tue Feb 23, 2010 7:38 pm

Tom In VA wrote:It means you're on the edge of some major changes coming into your life.

You just Cuda'd that from a fortune cookie!

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Tue Feb 23, 2010 7:40 pm

slightly puffy outer labia

Rack all KC Paul resets.

Tom In VA · Post by **Tom In VA** » Tue Feb 23, 2010 7:40 pm

Seriously I think it means God wants you to become a golf pro.

See if you know where I CTRL-Cuda'd that one.

indyfrisco · Post by **indyfrisco** » Tue Feb 23, 2010 7:40 pm

Van wrote:
Tom In VA wrote:It means you're on the edge of some major changes coming into your life.
You just Cuda'd that from a fortune cookie!

Cuda's fortune cookie read:

"Simple minds are easily amused."

He then had a General Tso's Chicken induced fart to which he giggled.

ChargerMike · Post by **ChargerMike** » Tue Feb 23, 2010 7:50 pm

" and for some reason I was holding some sort of ~~pastry~~ panty."

....it was a long story...some slack for spelling gaffe's.

Van · Post by **Van** » Tue Feb 23, 2010 7:55 pm

Tom In VA wrote:

Seriously I think it means God wants you to become a golf pro.

See if you know where I CTRL-Cuda'd that one.

The Magic 8-Ball?

Van · Post by **Van** » Tue Feb 23, 2010 7:58 pm

KC Scott wrote:
Van wrote:Two anonymous white men were talking about these RPG-looking things one of them was holding. These weapons - or whatever they were - looked like stainless steel Q-tips or matchsticks, and they were about four feet long. The guy nearest me was holding two of them like baguettes in his arms as the two men peered out over the river.
Perk and TVO are about to get run

Van · Post by **Van** » Tue Feb 23, 2010 8:53 pm

88 wrote:I think you've gone bat shit crazy. That is the only explanation.

Well, sure, but that's too easy, and nobody's going to pay you your usual exhorbitant hourly-rate for it.

You at least need to furrow your brow a little, harrumph and tap your pad with your pen.

Van · Post by **Van** » Tue Feb 23, 2010 9:27 pm

That's in the member's section.

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Tue Feb 23, 2010 9:49 pm

It was shaped like an arrowhead propped up on its side

I can't take any more. Where the fukk is Tyrone? Is he off with his boys treating Alan's forehead like a money shot trampoline?

--Stunly Peeekle

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Tue Feb 23, 2010 9:51 pm

Van, I think you secretly want to be Canadian.

Derron · Post by **Derron** » Tue Feb 23, 2010 9:52 pm

After reading about 1 paragraph and deciding you are crazy as a fucking loon, I suggest you try and recreate the dream AFTER dropping a minimum of 3 hits of purple microdot, then get back to us tomorrow, if you don't jump off a bridge or something.

Derron · Post by **Derron** » Tue Feb 23, 2010 9:53 pm

Martyred wrote:Van, I think you secretly want to be Canadian.

Think not...don't see where gay, stupid, and lazy come in there.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Tue Feb 23, 2010 10:20 pm

Martyred wrote:Van, I think you secretly want to be Canadian.

Well, obviously anyone harboring wishes to be a Canadian would want to keep it a secret.

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Tue Feb 23, 2010 10:27 pm

Goober McTuber wrote:...harbouring...

FTFY-NC

Louis Cyphre · Post by **Louis Cyphre** » Tue Feb 23, 2010 11:13 pm

Van,

I pretty certain you are living a double life, kinda like a Jason Bourne type of thing. The more you sleep, the more of your past will be revealed to you. The government is on to you. Start wearing a tinfoil hat and watch for silent, black helicopters. And you better hope that Rack Fu doesn't read this thread.

If you have anymore questions, call Gearge Noory or Art Bell on "Coast to Coast AM"

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Wed Feb 24, 2010 12:22 am

Van... get a fucking job.

jizzmopping isn't too good for you.

Screw_Michigan · Post by **Screw_Michigan** » Wed Feb 24, 2010 12:25 am

It's a labor of love, Whitey.

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Wed Feb 24, 2010 12:38 am

Screw_Michigan wrote: ...labour of love...

FTFY

When we invade you, you're gonna need to get this right.

Van · Post by **Van** » Wed Feb 24, 2010 12:54 am

Martyred wrote:Van, I think you secretly want to be Canadian.

What little bit of Canada I've seen in person, I absolutely loved. Some of it was flat out heaven on earth, but then we were there in July, and everywhere we went was enjoying a Chamber Of Commerce day.

From everything I've read and heard, I'd love the shit outta Montreal too, and Toronto isn't exactly supposed to suck either.

Cornhusker · Post by **Cornhusker** » Wed Feb 24, 2010 1:18 am

Van wrote:It's also been too long to recall since I've had any sort of a sexual dream.

Not anymore. That nightmare was filled with sexual inuendos.

mvscal · Post by **mvscal** » Wed Feb 24, 2010 2:00 am

Van wrote:So, let's hear it. What the fuck was all that about?

I believe it means you want to fuck your mother but are too impotent to do so.

Screw_Michigan · Post by **Screw_Michigan** » Wed Feb 24, 2010 2:09 am

Love it.

Sin,

Tarddowen

Van · Post by **Van** » Wed Feb 24, 2010 3:16 am

Todd, no, I've never read a 007 book - I've seen buttloads of James Bond movies though, obviously - but I've read everything Ludlum, Clancy, Baldacci, and Vince Flynn ever penned, and I'm currently going through a large stack of John LeCarre books.

Maybe you're on to something here. Thing is, that might be the reason for the first part of the dream, but what about the latter half, with the upside down poundcake episode?

Screw_Michigan · Post by **Screw_Michigan** » Wed Feb 24, 2010 3:28 am

Van wrote:poundcake

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Wed Feb 24, 2010 3:36 am

Cuda wrote:gayer than a ungaro spring frock

A..."ungaro spring frock". Huh? Jesus, homo - where are you getting this shit?

Stanley Pickkkle · Post by **Stanley Pickkkle** » Wed Feb 24, 2010 4:21 am

I'm not reading this abortion of 40 shit takes....but how in the fukkk can any of you faggots
accuse me of sukkking black cokkk when all of you fags and tripping over each others dikkks
to analyse a fukkking dream!

If anything in the history of the world screams "FAG" it's a bunch of guys analysing another dudes dream.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Wed Feb 24, 2010 1:58 pm

Van wrote:I While standing and leaning back against the carport, I draped her legs over my shoulders on either side of my face, then I just dove in and hungrily ate her completely shaved pussy.

You are what you eat. Sorry, that's all I got.

Van · Post by **Van** » Wed Feb 24, 2010 3:24 pm

Goobs, had I been given the time, I'm sure I would've made it to her asshole too.

ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2 · Wed Feb 24, 2010 5:36 pm

Van wrote:Then I took that little pastry and pressed it to her golden brown chest, just above her breasts. I squeezed out a little bit of honey from the pastry, then I opened the top of her dress to let the honey drip down to her nipple.

Dude... I know this one. It's called the pop-my-seed strudel.