All your medals are belong to us!

[smackaholic]

How long before this is so?

how long before the chinks completely dominate the winter and summer olympics?

they have really come on strong in various skating classes and pretty much pwn mens aerial skiing.

wasn't that long ago that the chinks did little in the summer games and even less during the winter.

that is changing quickly for a few reasons. they now have the dollars needed to develop promising athletes from a very young age. apparently they have a pretty well developed system in place that identifies this talent early and gets these youngsters into academies where they eat, sleep and train. they hire the best coaching in the world to run these programs.

this well funded and run system combined with a talent pool of well over a billion people should add up to some pretty nice results for them in the near future.

compare their system where all the good athletes get developed to the US where, with many sports it takes natural talent along with upper middle class or better incomes, particularly the winter sports. doesn't take a rocket surgeon to do the math.

i think we will always own basketball since most all of our kids play it and we have more black kids than any other country that plays it much. other sports? we're in trouble. the chinks are coming to get us.

i wonder how long it will be before they put up a respectable hockey team? I'll bet those fukkers are working on it now.

[Mikey]

Meanwhile, the heads of the Russian winter sports federations are right now being given their choice of a bullet to the head or a ticket to the gulag.

[Wolfman]

I'm not sure if the old USSR model will work for the PRC. Look at what Canada did with an infusion of Canadian $$ and a US style training system. They had a shot when they hosted the summer games a couple years ago. We'll see how much they improve for 2012.

[poptart]

how long before the chinks completely dominate the winter and summer olympics?

Dick freel grood, smackahowric?

[smackaholic]

I'm not sure if the old USSR model will work for the PRC. Look at what Canada did with an infusion of Canadian $$ and a US style training system. They had a shot when they hosted the summer games a couple years ago. We'll see how much they improve for 2012.

They did quite well in beijing. I am fairly sure they will do better in uhhh, London is it.. I think? the old USSR model IS working for them, partly because they have more money than the russkies did and they have no problems hiring the best coaches money can buy, no matter where they are from. They also have a talent pool that is approximately 5X as large as was the russkies. Canada did do extremely well for a few reasons. Home field advantage helps. Being a decent sized country where winter sports are dominant helped as well. And throwing piles of money into the program certainly didn't hurt. But, you will not see that sort of performance ever from the 'nucks during a summer games.

[Dr_Phibes]

I was reading the Russian sport minister defend himself, one of his points was that there's an excess of new events that people in Russia just aren't interested in.

And it's something I've noticed over the past few winter games. Everytime a crackhead from Colorado tumbles down a hill on a trashcan lid - it's a new event and you usually win gold. I'd just expand on the theme, play to your strengths. There's no shortage of objects that hobos can fall down in the snow with. An old boot, dinner tray etc.

[JMak]

It won't last long what with China's population control policies and fast-aging population...

[PSUFAN]

Everytime a crackhead from Colorado tumbles down a hill on a trashcan lid - it's a new event and you usually win gold.

ha ha ha

[Van]

I completely agree with Phibes and the Russian minister. Way too many sports are being given Olympic-event status merely because people in America want to watch a glitzier Winter X-Games. For both the Winter and Summer Olympics we're simply inventing sports in which we'll utterly dominate.

So many goddamn sports have no business being in the Olympics...

-Anything to do with a snowboard or a 'halfpipe'.

-Anything to do with dancing. Whether it's ballroom dancing (which I think was eliminated), plug-nosed Synchronized Sluts In The Water dancing or ice dancing, just shitcan 'em all. Save that garbage for bluehairs and their Holiday On Ice extravaganzas. We don't need to see cross-dressing pirates in chiffon and hyper-flamboyant make-up sashaying to Broadway show tunes.

-Baseball and softball. When the vast majority of the world doesn't play it, it shouldn't be an Olympic sport, and the vast majority of the world does not play lesbian softball.

-It almost goes without saying that Wiccan Shuffleboard On Ice, a.k.a. curling, has no business being an Olympic sport. Outside of Canada, curling is about as popular as prison-rape.

All in all, if we took away the ridiculous made-for-America events, what would the medal count be?

[Screw_Michigan]

curling is about as popular as prison-rape

Fucking bwaha. Stanley Pickle's big on prison rape, too.

[Shlomart Ben Yisrael]

There is nothing wrong with snowboarding events in the Olympics.

They can, however, eliminate all bobsledding/luge/skeleton stupidities.

[Diego in Seattle]

What I found interesting was that the euros didn't do very well in many of the events that Americans have traditionally not been good at. With both America & it's hat cleaning up on the medals I wonder if it was simply a home continent advantage due to jetlag.

[War Wagon]

Everytime a crackhead from Colorado tumbles down a hill on a trashcan lid...

Phibes is the most under rated poster here.

[MgoBlue-LightSpecial]

All in all, if we took away the ridiculous made-for-America events, what would the medal count be?

Hey, if The Congo and Kazakhstan want to invent some of their own 'sports' beyond prostitution and can-kicking, nobody's stopping them.

[Political Operative]

Thought I chime in here...

Lets see in Vancouver the Commies won: 5 Gold, 2 Silver and 4 Bronze, (Including The Beloved's 3rd Place Finish in Curling)

Their wins were in Short Track Rollerderby and other medals came from Freestyle Skiing and Pairs Figure Skating. Realisitically the Commies came out and said in their team announcement back on Jan 25th that they had low expectations since they were not a Winter Nation, other than the Harbin Crew, (The Curlers, Figure Skaters and Rollerderby specialists.)

If Harbin did bid for the winter games in 2018 as originally proposed then I'd be worried. Since the Politburo said no and the chances of Pyongchang, South Korea winning that bid is a certainity, the need for them to pour money and time into other winter sports like Snowboarding, X Country Skiing, Skeleton, Luge and Bobsleigh will be put off until they win a bid for a Winter Olympiad.

Realistically I see the Commies bidding for a 2030 Winter Games with Harbin as its host city. By then The Beloved would be the person to light the cauldron instead of playing in the Womens Tourney since some 18 year old hot shot will be leading their team for Gold.

[Dr_Phibes]

Hey, if The Congo and Kazakhstan want to invent some of their own 'sports' beyond prostitution and can-kicking, nobody's stopping them.

They just haven't figured it out yet. All it takes, is for the Congolese to hang an alarm clock round their neck and petition for the 200 metre electro-jive can-kick.

The bruthas already knock the shit out of everyone in summer, why make it worse? Think of the big picture, MGO.

[H4ever]

Hey, if The Congo and Kazakhstan want to invent some of their own 'sports' beyond prostitution and can-kicking, nobody's stopping them.

They just haven't figured it out yet. All it takes, is for the Congolese to hang an alarm clock round their neck and petition for the 200 metre electro-jive can-kick.

The bruthas already knock the shit out of everyone in summer, why make it worse? Think of the big picture, MGO.

We need Epic, Bearded Old Guy in the next summer games where he will no doubt beat some cuban ass and bring home the gold in boxing for a pair of Stacey Adams shoes. Shit, let's get all the homeless, crazier than cat-shit vets in. I bet some of those dudes from Bumfights.com would break world records in the sprint events for a liter of mad dog.

[LTS TRN 2]

Hmmm...let's hear from HG Wells..."The quite temporary advantages given the European Powers over the Old World were regarded to be a natural and inevitable thing that all the world should fall under European domination....The Powers set themselves to this enterprise in a mood of jostling rivalry, with half-educated or illiterate populations at home...they really believed that the vast populations of eastern Asia could be permanently subordinated to such a Europe. Even today there are many people who fail to grasp the essential facts of this situation. They do not realize that in Asia the average brain is not one whit inferior in quality to the average European brain..and that there are, and must continue to be, a great many more Asiatics than Europeans in the world."

The Outline Of History (revised 1931)

[smackaholic]

Hey, if The Congo and Kazakhstan want to invent some of their own 'sports' beyond prostitution and can-kicking, nobody's stopping them.

They just haven't figured it out yet. All it takes, is for the Congolese to hang an alarm clock round their neck and petition for the 200 metre electro-jive can-kick.

The bruthas already knock the shit out of everyone in summer, why make it worse? Think of the big picture, MGO.

We need Epic, Bearded Old Guy in the next summer games where he will no doubt beat some cuban ass and bring home the gold in boxing for a pair of Stacey Adams shoes. Shit, let's get all the homeless, crazier than cat-shit vets in. I bet some of those dudes from Bumfights.com would break world records in the sprint events for a liter of mad dog.

rack!

we got a retard uhhh, i mean special olympics and a paralympics. wtf not a bumolympics? how fukking cool would that be. epic beard man, with that world class left jab would be a lock in the heavyweight division. bum ice dancing sounds interesting too. might have to modify the events a little though. i'm pretty sure the 50k cross country ski race would have to be shortened to, ohh, maybe 5 meters.

do the special olympics have a winter version? they really should. i guaran-fukking-tee that billy attempting the 90 meter hill would out draw the US-Canuck hockey game anyday. bobsled and luge would be must see tv as well.

[Van]

Dude, you missed the best sport of all for the Wnter Special Olympics: biathlon!

Billy trying to cross-country ski and shoot at shit with a rifle?? That would be comedy fucking gold.

Wouldn't mind seeing the archery contest in the Summer Special Olympics either. Discuss, shotput and especially javelin practice would be an absolute hoot to watch, especially with all of them together on the same field.

[Screw_Michigan]

All in all, if we took away the ridiculous made-for-America events, what would the medal count be?

Hey, if The Congo and Kazakhstan want to invent some of their own 'sports' beyond prostitution and can-kicking, nobody's stopping them.

"Here in Kazakhstan, our pastimes are: archery, disco dancing, rape and table tennis."

Sin,

Borat

[Van]

For that matter, how cool would Special F1 be, or Special NHRA?

Special NASCAR? Meh. It'd hardly be any different. About the only discernible difference would be that the people would be better clothed, and frustrated, ADD-addled drivers might try to force a few right turns where they don't belong.

Yeah, it'd definitely beat normal NASCAR.

[Dinsdale]

Retard trap and skeet would be "can't miss" television.

Motherfucker yells "PULL," and you've never seen a group of tardwranglers hit the dirt with such speed and determination.

[Dinsdale]

And just in case the last person on the internet who hasn't issued happens to read this --

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3IFUNIa2NU8

[Van]

And just in case the last person on the internet who hasn't issued happens to read this --

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3IFUNIa2NU8

BWAAAHAAA!!

[SunCoastSooner]

-It almost goes without saying that Wiccan Shuffleboard On Ice, a.k.a. curling, has no business being an Olympic sport. Outside of Canada, curling is about as popular as prison-rape.

Bullshit. A larger percentage of the population plays the sport in Scotland and Sweden than it does in Canada. Curling is immensely popular throughout northern Europe and is gaining popularity at unprecedented rate in four of the five largest (population wise) countries in Asia. More people in Japan, China, Canada, Scotland, Finland, Sweden, Denmark, and Germany play the sport than in America.

Just because you don't like it doesn't mean shit. Neither you nor Russia have any business bitching about curling because it is not only a very popular sport throughout much Europe but one of the fastest growing competitions in the world.

[Van]

BFD. It's still no more popular than prison-rape, and no, it's not 'immensely popular' in northern Europe. Not even close. Skiing is immensely popular in northern Europe. Eating fish is immensely popular in northern Europe. Having black-out sex in nightclubs with hot blondes is immensely popular in northern Europe.

Those things are American Idol-popular in northern Europe, while curling is an animal husbandry show at 2:00 a.m. on the Korean channel.

[Mikey]

This thread is favored to win the gold medal in Tired Cliches About Furners.

[SunCoastSooner]

BFD. It's still no more popular than prison-rape, and no, it's not 'immensely popular' in northern Europe. Not even close. Skiing is immensely popular in northern Europe. Eating fish is immensely popular in northern Europe. Having black-out sex in nightclubs with hot blondes is immensely popular in northern Europe.

Those things are American Idol-popular in northern Europe, while curling is an animal husbandry show at 2:00 a.m. on the Korean channel.

Bullshit. Have you ever even been to the fucking British isles? Do you have any clue how often shit ass Scottish curling events are aired on television over there? Or in Sweden and Finland for that matter. Spoken like someone who really hasn't ever left Lower California/upper Mexico. Try and go ore than six days in the British Isles for about 4 months of the year without passing by a curling event on their shit ass TV system, I dare ya.

[Mikey]

Curling?

Seen weekly here on BRAVO.

[Screw_Michigan]

Van, there is no hyphen between prison and rape. FYI.

[Van]

SCS, so what? Just because it shows up on a few TVs in Scotland, big deal. That still doesn't make it 'immensely popular', and it sure as hell doesn't justify it being an Olympic sport. It takes zero athletic ability. It's shuffleboard with brooms. It's chess with less intellect. It's an activity, not an athletic contest. Moreover, the vast majority of the world couldn't give two shits about it, and for good reason.

If there was such a thing as the Hausfrau Olympics, sure, give those sweeping bitches a gold-plated skillet. Otherwise, no, in no way does it rise to the level of being an Olympics-worthy event.

[Dinsdale]

Van, there is no hyphen between prison and rape. FYI.

While maybe not technically correct, the hyphen does make it a bit more graphic, no?

Opens up the possibility of adding more and more hyphens to illustrate a particulary well----endowed cellmate.

[Van]

S-M, I've seen it written both ways, with the usual explanation being that 'prison' is neither a proper adjective nor adverb, therefore 'prison rape' is a multi-word term denoting a single thing, which necessitates the use of the hyphen.

I'm not entirely sold on that explanation, not in that instance. I'd be fine using it without the hyphen.

[Goober McTuber]

Van, there is no hyphen between prison and rape. FYI.

While maybe not technically correct, the hyphen does make it a bit more graphic, no?

Opens up the possibility of adding more and more hyphens to illustrate a particulary well----endowed cellmate.

Your wide range of life experiences never fails to amuse.

[SunCoastSooner]

SCS, so what? Just because it shows up on a few TVs in Scotland, big deal. That still doesn't make it 'immensely popular', and it sure as hell doesn't justify it being an Olympic sport. It takes zero athletic ability. It's shuffleboard with brooms. It's chess with less intellect. It's an activity, not an athletic contest. Moreover, the vast majority of the world couldn't give two shits about it, and for good reason.

If there was such a thing as the Hausfrau Olympics, sure, give those sweeping bitches a gold-plated skillet. Otherwise, no, in no way does it rise to the level of being an Olympics-worthy event.

It's not just Scotland... Sweden, Finland, Denmark, and Germany have that shit on television all the fucking time as well.

2/3 of the world doesn't give a crap about any of the fucking winter Olympic events. 2/3 of the world doesn't give a flying fuck about hockey either what's your damn point? Lets just scrap the whole damn thing if that is the measuring stick.

[Van]

All kinds of things are on TV all the time, but that doesn't mean they're intensely popular. Anything and everything ends up on TV these days.

See how often a major soccer match gets bumped from a prime network TV slot in favor of a curling match. That's your definition of immensely popular.

As to curling's Olympic-worthiness, or lack thereof, I pointed out that not only does the vast majority of the world not give two shits about it (not merely 2/3rds, either, but more like 99%, especially once you consider how relatively few people play it even in those countries which do play it), but that it's also not an athletic event at all. Combine those two facts, and yeah, curling has no business being an Olympic event. Any of the other events which aren't universally popular (hockey, bobsleding, luging, etc) at least involve a modicum of athletic ability and/or physical risk.

Curling? Nada. No risk, no athletic ability required, no worldwide popularity. It's merely a non-athletic niche activity confined to a relatively scant few people in an even scanter few countries. If curling is an Olympic event, then we may as well include bass fishing and Texas Hold 'Em in the Olympics. They're on TV too, you know.

Here's a question, though: How long until MMA becomes an Olympic event? Now that one would make sense. That's tailor-made for the Olympics, and it's pure, combining a multitude of skills already practiced in the Olympics. In fact, were MMA to become an Olympic sport, I'd hazard a guess that it wouldn't be long before it usurped all other combat-based events for ultimate prestige. That would truly be the ultimate, in terms of carrying the "Baddest Man Alive" label.

[smackaholic]

Of the suggested retard sporting events, I think NHRA (top fuel, of course) would be the most workable.

No fukkin' way billy has the necessary skills to get an F1 rig rolling, but, for the 1/4 mile you could have his pit crew get the car staged. Then just strap billy in and tell him to gun it when the light goes green. Bring a whole new meaning to the term funny car. Might wanna beef up the guardrails a bit though.

I do like the skeet/trap shooting idea also.

[Van]

Nothing would beat Billy and his oversized forehead havin' pals lurching through the forest on skis with loaded rifles, looking to blow up shit. You know they'd forget what they were supposed to be doing, then they'd just start blasting away at each other. Being 'tards, though, they'd nearly always miss, and when they did manage to accidentally land a hit, their reactions would be worth giving up pizza.

[smackaholic]

OK, I'll go with the biathalon thing on one condition, no gay ass bolt action 22 target rifles. billy gets a fully auto AK-47 with the biggest fukking clip it will hold.