RACK my kid.

R-Jack · Post by **R-Jack** » Wed Mar 17, 2010 5:28 pm

First off, I hate St Patrick's Day. Thank God there is only one day on the calander when we all seem to think everyone's got a little jobless sloping foreheaded ginger kid terrorist in us and we consider boiling some potatos and cabbage for 18 hours "cuisine". I'm like John Rocker to the Irish people. Needless to say, I always thought the town of Rockridge had it right the first time. I loved the first scene of Gangs of New York.

Anyway, after dropping off my son at preschool this morning, I stop into the local coffee shop before with my daughter before we go shopping for the traditional St. Patty's day dinner of BBQ chicken, sweet potatos and American beer. Right in line in front of us, I have some IRA wannabe douchebag trying to rock some green heavy kilt with a pair of Doc Martin looking shitkickers. My daughter, with the perfect dry wit a two year old asks in quite an audible tone "Daddy. Why that man wearing a dress?"

Cute huh?

You really can't get angry at a two year old for asking the question. Even the worthless mick turned around with a slight smile as if to say in some fucked up accent in his head "Aw how cute. I'm sure her pappy will tell her that I be wearing a top 'o the mornin kilt" or some shit like that. He keeps looking, seemingly waiting for me to explain how it's cool to cross dress for a day. She asked me again "Why he wearing a dress? He wearing a dress daddy." This time the look on Hagus McFagus's face was not a smile but a stern look waiting for me to respond to my daughter. I just shrugged my shoulders and said "I don't know. He may just be from Fresno."

The goddamn fruitcake just huffed like a little bitch and turned around and ordered his drink. When he walked out of the shop he shot a death stare at me. I just shrugged my shoulders and smirked, taking pleasure in knowing that this................................

..........ruined someone's drunken drag queen Christmas.

Well done Sadie. Fuck the Irish.

Van · Post by **Van** » Wed Mar 17, 2010 5:40 pm

No fucking way our boy R-Jack had anything to do with the creation of something that beautiful.

Sadie, I mean, not the story.

Tom In VA · Post by **Tom In VA** » Wed Mar 17, 2010 5:57 pm

Van wrote:No fucking way our boy R-Jack had anything to do with the creation of something that beautiful.

Sadie, I mean, not the story.

RACK

Cool story R-Jack, very well written.

Mikey · Post by **Mikey** » Wed Mar 17, 2010 5:59 pm

You should have said:

"Honey, the man isn't wearing a dress. It's a skirt."

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Wed Mar 17, 2010 6:11 pm

Or you could have just added, "At least he's not AP".

Rack your good-looking mailman, BTW.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Wed Mar 17, 2010 6:13 pm

i thought dress wearing was a scottish thing?

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Wed Mar 17, 2010 6:17 pm

smackaholic wrote:i thought dress wearing was a scottish thing?

Educate yourself, Corky.

Tom In VA · Post by **Tom In VA** » Wed Mar 17, 2010 6:17 pm

Kilts are generally Celtic and Gaelic. Meaning Irish and Scots wore them.

DallasFanatic · Post by **DallasFanatic** » Wed Mar 17, 2010 7:36 pm

Freakin rack your kid RJack. I am hoping my girl will be doing the same next St. Patty's day.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Wed Mar 17, 2010 8:17 pm

If it was Derron’s kid, they would have just tried to look up under the kilt.

mvscal · Post by **mvscal** » Wed Mar 17, 2010 11:18 pm

Goober McTuber wrote:
smackaholic wrote:i thought dress wearing was a scottish thing?
Educate yourself, Corky.

In present-day Ireland kilts are still seen very much as being primarily Scottish, and the current crop of county and district tartans is largely unknown in Ireland and indeed difficult to obtain, having been designed and marketed primarily for the Irish-American market.

You could have at least read your own link.

R-Jack · Post by **R-Jack** » Thu Mar 18, 2010 5:22 am

Van wrote:No fucking way our boy R-Jack had anything to do with the creation of something that beautiful.

Better my girl looks like someone else than looking like me.

Not much doubt that Dillon is my handiwork

.........enjoy the next five years kid. Ages 10-20 ain't gonna be too pretty.

Terry in Crapchester · Thu Mar 18, 2010 12:26 pm

R-Jack wrote:

Cute kid. Almost as cute as

Almost.

DallasFanatic · Post by **DallasFanatic** » Thu Mar 18, 2010 12:42 pm

Not bad Terry, but it doesn't hold a candle to my angel. Oops her halo is tilted, just like her mothers.

Screw_Michigan · Post by **Screw_Michigan** » Thu Mar 18, 2010 1:23 pm

Diego still posts here, you know.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Thu Mar 18, 2010 1:30 pm

Think I'll take a pass on this thread.

Sin,

indyfrisco · Post by **indyfrisco** » Thu Mar 18, 2010 1:43 pm

Rack your kid R-Jack. Reminds me of when we went to Indianapolis a couple months ago. Got on the elevator at the hotel and there was a black lady in there. My 4 year old son asks her, "Why do you paint your face the same color as your hair?" Where I live, in a town of 11k people, there is 1 black family. My boy just hasn't seen black folk hardly at all. Luckily, the black lady was older and just laughed it off. Could not imagine how a "LaShondra" would react.

Oh...IN on the Kiddy Pageant.

indyfrisco · Post by **indyfrisco** » Thu Mar 18, 2010 3:52 pm

Sudden Sam wrote:

Van · Post by **Van** » Thu Mar 18, 2010 4:05 pm

Van · Post by **Van** » Thu Mar 18, 2010 4:21 pm

...and there's a briiiiiidge...over troubled...waterrrrrs....

SunCoastSooner · Post by **SunCoastSooner** » Thu Mar 18, 2010 9:18 pm

The Irish are good for three things.

Drinkin', Fuckin', and Hangin'.

R-Jack · Post by **R-Jack** » Thu Mar 18, 2010 9:32 pm

Nice pizza box. Reminds me of "take your daughter to work" day.

~Fubuclown~

SunCoastSooner · Post by **SunCoastSooner** » Thu Mar 18, 2010 9:50 pm

R-Jack wrote:Nice pizza box. Reminds me of "take your daughter to work" day.

~Fubuclown~

My daughter is a pizza fanatic. We used to go to this place on the Miracle Strip that is well known for its pies and share a pepperoni pizza before going to get fudge at the place a couple of doors down every Sunday. Never did finish the pie and I'd always send it and a large box of fudge home with her. Was always the highlight of my week.

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Thu Mar 18, 2010 11:30 pm

Jsc810 wrote: Rack daughters.

Yep.

When the nurse handed her to me in the delivery room and she looked up at me with those beautiful eyes... I was forever smitten. My daughter was an absolute Gerber baby.

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Thu Mar 18, 2010 11:35 pm

oh, and Jsc?

Rack mothers who let daughters be born, as well.

Dickbag · Post by **Dickbag** » Thu Mar 18, 2010 11:55 pm

War Wagon wrote:When the nurse handed her to me in the delivery room and she looked up at me with those beautiful eyes... I was forever smitten. My daughter was an absolute Gerber baby.

Everybody thinks that about their stupid fucking kids. She could've looked like a bag of rotting cabbage, and you still would've said that. Put your photos back in your wallet, asshole. Nobody fucking cares.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Fri Mar 19, 2010 12:05 am

beautiful kids ya got there indy, but, i just gotta say, your little girl has the best fivehead i've seen since diana taurasi.

Ana Ng · Post by **Ana Ng** » Fri Mar 19, 2010 6:24 am

Threads like this scare me. I REALLY REALLY want a baby girl!!

RACK all the little menschen in this place. Great work, guys.

If only they didn't grow up so fast....

mvscal · Post by **mvscal** » Fri Mar 19, 2010 6:37 am

Ana Ng wrote:I REALLY REALLY want a baby girl!!

Did you need any help with that?

Ana Ng · Post by **Ana Ng** » Fri Mar 19, 2010 6:49 am

Bwah!

Not if you're gonna offer up Wags as a donor.

I think he mentioned something about fathering "gerbil" babies or some shit??

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Fri Mar 19, 2010 11:48 am

mvscal wrote:
Ana Ng wrote:I REALLY REALLY want a baby girl!!
Did you need any help with that?

i'm officially batting .500 in the girl making category. lemme know if you need any help.

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Fri Mar 19, 2010 11:55 am

Ana Ng wrote:Bwah!

Not if you're gonna offer up Wags as a donor.

I think he mentioned something about fathering "gerbil" babies or some shit??

Sorry Ana, the "long and tall" gene is dominant in my family.

DallasFanatic · Post by **DallasFanatic** » Fri Mar 19, 2010 5:08 pm

I'd like to take credit for my angel, but she is a mini-mommy. She has the brains of her old man though.

:D

SunCoastSooner · Post by **SunCoastSooner** » Fri Mar 19, 2010 6:56 pm

Ana Ng wrote:Bwah!

Not if you're gonna offer up Wags as a donor.

I think he mentioned something about fathering "gerbil" babies or some shit??

I make beautiful children... obviously. :wink:

trev · Post by **trev** » Fri Mar 19, 2010 10:08 pm

I always wanted a girl. I thought I deserved it. I think a girl would be harder to raise. All your kids are cute as can be. Ana, we could adopt a girl and share custody.

SunCoastSooner · Post by **SunCoastSooner** » Fri Mar 19, 2010 10:21 pm

trev wrote:I always wanted a girl. I thought I deserved it. I think a girl would be harder to raise. All your kids are cute as can be. Ana, we could adopt a girl and share custody.

"With a boy you only have to worry about one penis... with a girl you have to worry about them all."

missjo · Post by **missjo** » Sat Mar 20, 2010 12:10 am

Yes, well proud Papa's make sure you give your daughters enough love & attention not to mention money for college fees & expenses or the just might end up here
http://www.exploitedcollegegirls.com/

mvscal · Post by **mvscal** » Sat Mar 20, 2010 12:17 am

missjo wrote:

Excuse me. I'll just be stepping out for a moment.

Van · Post by **Van** » Sat Mar 20, 2010 12:27 am

Shit, Jo, they're all smiling, and they all look quite happy to me. Nice orthodontia, too. Very well-maintained girls, who are just bursting with self-esteem and clear, warm, properly arcing vaginal discharges.

What's the problem?

Ana Ng · Post by **Ana Ng** » Sat Mar 20, 2010 1:55 am

Toddowen wrote:So you're a single mother, Ana?

Nah. I'm married to a Navy Submariner.

We don't really have THAT kind of "relationship" anymore, though. It's an odd thing.

Not for this thread, if you can believe that?

I may just take Trev up on her offer. I'm going to hold out for a 1/2 breed Latina/guera though.

I hope she won't mind. :?