Joke
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- ChargerMike
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Joke
apia if this one made the rounds in 2007
NOMINATED THE BEST JOKE OF THE YEAR
A Russian arrives in New York City as a new immigrant to the United States . He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says, "Thank you Mr.. American for letting me into this country, giving me housing, food stamps, free medical care, and a free education!"
The passerby says, "You are mistaken, I am a Mexican."
The man goes on and encounters another passerby. "Thank you for having such
a beautiful country here in America ."
The person says, "I not American, I am Vietnamese."
The new arrival walks farther, and the next person he sees he stops, shakes his hand, and says, "Thank you for wonderful America !
That person puts up his hand and says, "I am from Middle East . I am not American."
He finally sees a nice lady and asks, "Are you an American?"
She says, "No, I am from Africa ."
Puzzled, he asks her, "Where are all the Americans?"
The African lady checks her watch and says, "Probably at work."
NOMINATED THE BEST JOKE OF THE YEAR
A Russian arrives in New York City as a new immigrant to the United States . He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says, "Thank you Mr.. American for letting me into this country, giving me housing, food stamps, free medical care, and a free education!"
The passerby says, "You are mistaken, I am a Mexican."
The man goes on and encounters another passerby. "Thank you for having such
a beautiful country here in America ."
The person says, "I not American, I am Vietnamese."
The new arrival walks farther, and the next person he sees he stops, shakes his hand, and says, "Thank you for wonderful America !
That person puts up his hand and says, "I am from Middle East . I am not American."
He finally sees a nice lady and asks, "Are you an American?"
She says, "No, I am from Africa ."
Puzzled, he asks her, "Where are all the Americans?"
The African lady checks her watch and says, "Probably at work."
JIP said...Hell, Michael Sam has more integrity than you do.
- Shlomart Ben Yisrael
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Re: Joke
[pikkkle] Q: What's the difference between a black man and a pizza?
A: You can count on a pizza feeding a family of four. [pikkkle]
A: You can count on a pizza feeding a family of four. [pikkkle]
rock rock to the planet rock ... don't stop
Felix wrote:you've become very bitter since you became jewish......
Kierland drop-kicking Wolftard wrote: Aren’t you part of the silent generation?
Why don’t you just STFU.
- ChargerMike
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Re: Joke
...like your new av. Mikey...just rescued a beautiful persian off the streets of Norwalk.
JIP said...Hell, Michael Sam has more integrity than you do.
- Smackie Chan
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Re: Joke
A Persian raccoon?ChargerMike wrote:...like your new av. Mikey...just rescued a beautiful persian off the streets of Norwalk.
Stultorum infinitus est numerus
- ChargerMike
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Re: Joke
...looks just like oneSmackie Chan wrote:A Persian raccoon?ChargerMike wrote:...like your new av. Mikey...just rescued a beautiful persian off the streets of Norwalk.
JIP said...Hell, Michael Sam has more integrity than you do.
- Sirfindafold
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Re: Joke
Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert after crossing into the United States, wandering aimlessly and starving. They are about to just lie down and wait for death, when all of a sudden Luis says.........
"Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell. Ees bacon, I theenk."
"Si, Luis, eet sure smells like bacon. "
With renewed hope they struggle up the next sand dune, & there, in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon.
There's raw bacon, there's fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon ... every imaginable kind of cured pork.
"Pepe, Pepe, we ees saved. Ees a bacon tree."
"Luis, maybe ees a meerage? We ees in the desert don't forget."
"Pepe, since when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smell like bacon...ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree."
And with that, Luis staggers towards the tree. He gets to within 5 metres, Pepe crawling close behind, when suddenly a machine gun opens up, and Luis drops like a wet sock. Mortally wounded, he warns Pepe with his dying breath,
"Pepe... go back man, you was right, ees not a bacon tree!"
"Luis, Luis mi amigo... what ees it? "
"Pepe.. ees not a bacon tree. Ees
Ees
Ees
Ees
Ees a ham bush...."
"Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell. Ees bacon, I theenk."
"Si, Luis, eet sure smells like bacon. "
With renewed hope they struggle up the next sand dune, & there, in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon.
There's raw bacon, there's fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon ... every imaginable kind of cured pork.
"Pepe, Pepe, we ees saved. Ees a bacon tree."
"Luis, maybe ees a meerage? We ees in the desert don't forget."
"Pepe, since when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smell like bacon...ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree."
And with that, Luis staggers towards the tree. He gets to within 5 metres, Pepe crawling close behind, when suddenly a machine gun opens up, and Luis drops like a wet sock. Mortally wounded, he warns Pepe with his dying breath,
"Pepe... go back man, you was right, ees not a bacon tree!"
"Luis, Luis mi amigo... what ees it? "
"Pepe.. ees not a bacon tree. Ees
Ees
Ees
Ees
Ees a ham bush...."
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Re: Joke
D-
Joe in PB wrote: Yeah I'm the dumbass
schmick, speaking about Larry Nassar's pubescent and prepubescent victims wrote: They couldn't even kick that doctors ass
Seems they rather just lay there, get fucked and play victim
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Re: Joke
Swan dive into a rusty wood chipper.
- Psycho Magnet
- Jake
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Re: Joke
You know how copper wire was invented?
Two Jews found the same penny.
Two Jews found the same penny.
- Psycho Magnet
- Jake
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Re: Joke
You guys hear about that new Italian tires?
Dago forward, Dago backwards and when Dago flat Dago wop wop wop.
Dago forward, Dago backwards and when Dago flat Dago wop wop wop.
- Psycho Magnet
- Jake
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Re: Joke
You know how to starve a niggynoo?
Hide his food stamps under his work boots.
Hide his food stamps under his work boots.
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Re: Joke
Great. We've found a jokester even more retarded that sirfuckafist.
Joe in PB wrote: Yeah I'm the dumbass
schmick, speaking about Larry Nassar's pubescent and prepubescent victims wrote: They couldn't even kick that doctors ass
Seems they rather just lay there, get fucked and play victim
- smackaholic
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Re: Joke
A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.
"Not a chance," says the husband, "it is 3:00 in the morning!"
He slams the door and returns to bed.
"Who was that?" asked his wife.
"Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers.
"Did you help him?" she asks.
"No, I did not, it is 3:00 in the morning and it is pouring rain
out there!"
"Well, you have a short memory," says his wife. "Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself! God loves drunk people too".
The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain.
He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?"
"Yes," comes back the answer.
"Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband.
"Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark.
"Where are you?" asks the husband.
"Over here on the swing set," replied the drunk.
"Not a chance," says the husband, "it is 3:00 in the morning!"
He slams the door and returns to bed.
"Who was that?" asked his wife.
"Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers.
"Did you help him?" she asks.
"No, I did not, it is 3:00 in the morning and it is pouring rain
out there!"
"Well, you have a short memory," says his wife. "Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself! God loves drunk people too".
The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain.
He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?"
"Yes," comes back the answer.
"Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband.
"Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark.
"Where are you?" asks the husband.
"Over here on the swing set," replied the drunk.
mvscal wrote:The only precious metals in a SHTF scenario are lead and brass.
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Re: Joke
ENOUGH
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Re: Joke
Funny to anyone with an IQ below 70. Consider the source.
Joe in PB wrote: Yeah I'm the dumbass
schmick, speaking about Larry Nassar's pubescent and prepubescent victims wrote: They couldn't even kick that doctors ass
Seems they rather just lay there, get fucked and play victim
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Re: Joke
And right on cue...
Joe in PB wrote: Yeah I'm the dumbass
schmick, speaking about Larry Nassar's pubescent and prepubescent victims wrote: They couldn't even kick that doctors ass
Seems they rather just lay there, get fucked and play victim
- Psycho Magnet
- Jake
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Re: Joke
I see you're the local nut swinger. Do enlighten us with your most awesome of jokes.Goober McTuber wrote:And right on cue...
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Re: Joke
No, I'm the Welcome Wagon. Go fuck yourself with your middle school jokes.Psycho Magnet wrote:I see you're the local nut swinger. Do enlighten us with your most awesome of jokes.Goober McTuber wrote:And right on cue...
Joe in PB wrote: Yeah I'm the dumbass
schmick, speaking about Larry Nassar's pubescent and prepubescent victims wrote: They couldn't even kick that doctors ass
Seems they rather just lay there, get fucked and play victim
- Sirfindafold
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Re: Joke
Goober McTuber wrote:No, I'm the Welcome Wagon. Go fuck yourself with your middle school jokes.Psycho Magnet wrote:I see you're the local nut swinger. Do enlighten us with your most awesome of jokes.Goober McTuber wrote:And right on cue...
you went to middle school?
link?
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Re: Joke
No, I tested out of middle school. Went directly from 6th grade to 9th.
Joe in PB wrote: Yeah I'm the dumbass
schmick, speaking about Larry Nassar's pubescent and prepubescent victims wrote: They couldn't even kick that doctors ass
Seems they rather just lay there, get fucked and play victim
- ChargerMike
- 2007/2011 JFFL champ
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- Joined: Sat Jan 15, 2005 6:26 pm
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Re: Joke
...thanks for bailing me out on this thread guys....
JIP said...Hell, Michael Sam has more integrity than you do.
- Sirfindafold
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Re: Joke
How come there are no Mexicans on Star Trek?
Cause they don't work in the future either.
Cause they don't work in the future either.
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Re: Joke
You sure are one simple minded mongoloid.
- Sirfindafold
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Re: Joke
Who's the artist?MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:You sure are one simple minded mongoloid.
MONGOLOID HE WAS A MONGOLOID
HAPPIER THAN YOU AND ME
MONGOLOID HE WAS A MONGOLOID
AND IT DETERMINED WHAT HE COULD SEE
MONGOLOID HE WAS A MONGOLOID
ONE CHROMOSOME TOO MANY
MONGOLOID HE WAS A MONGOLOID
AND IT DETERMINED WHAT HE COULD SEE
AND HE WORE A HAT
AND HE HAD A JOB
AND HE BROUGHT HOME THE BACON
SO THAT NO ONE KNEW
MONGOLOID HE WAS A MONGOLOID
HIS FRIENDS WERE UNAWARE
MONGOLOID HE WAS A MONGOLOID
NOBODY EVEN CARED
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Re: Joke
Quit projecting, you FAT, drunken PEDOPHILE.Toddowen wrote:Goober being from Wisconsin, he probably goes to his local middle school twice a day....along with his camera.Sirfindafold wrote:
you went to middle school?
link?
Joe in PB wrote: Yeah I'm the dumbass
schmick, speaking about Larry Nassar's pubescent and prepubescent victims wrote: They couldn't even kick that doctors ass
Seems they rather just lay there, get fucked and play victim
- Sirfindafold
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Re: Joke
Big tittied women work at Hooters. Where do one-legged women work?
IHOP
IHOP
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Re: Joke
F-
Joe in PB wrote: Yeah I'm the dumbass
schmick, speaking about Larry Nassar's pubescent and prepubescent victims wrote: They couldn't even kick that doctors ass
Seems they rather just lay there, get fucked and play victim