(!) To all male members in T1B (!) non-gays skip page 1

Roger_the_Shrubber · Post by **Roger_the_Shrubber** » Sun May 23, 2010 5:08 am

I did it on friday. And with a woman.

If you haven't done it yet, DO IT!

I am talking about....................

The prostate and testicular exam.

And the female doctor was........capital U, UGLY. And, she was juggling my coyanze like she was trying figure out if they were ripe.

And then,........................This was my first time ya see. Having anything go in(insert gay joke here____________) instead of out, and it was...gross.

Good thing, prostate is fine. Bad thing, some ugly 60 year old woman with lots of education had my poop on her finger.

Anyway, my point is that you guys must get the physical done unless you want to die.

I held off for 4 years. My Dad had prostate cancer. It is just something ya HAVE to do.

Just find a really ugly female Doc, and it's all good. Well, not 'good', but it's better than dying of cancer.

Or, if yer toddowen, a hotty male Doc.

stuckinia · Post by **stuckinia** » Sun May 23, 2010 5:15 am

I hope you die of the aids.

Trampis · Post by **Trampis** » Sun May 23, 2010 5:17 am

bloorf

mvscal · Post by **mvscal** » Sun May 23, 2010 5:24 am

For fuck's sake, what kind of drugs are you on now, Wheels?!?

It's pretty fucked up that the first thing you do after having your grape sack fondled and your prostate poked is share the experience with your "good buddies" (not reciprocated, BTW) at T1B.

Your post really should have been a PM to mtoolio. He's all about balls and digital sodomy.

Roger_the_Shrubber · Post by **Roger_the_Shrubber** » Sun May 23, 2010 5:25 am

Trampis wrote:bloorf

WAR KUTTER

That was one hilarious story. 2002. And he almost died after being attacked during a drug sting operation in Baltimore.

And bite me, Stuck.

:D

Roger_the_Shrubber · Post by **Roger_the_Shrubber** » Sun May 23, 2010 5:27 am

MV,

It was all about the guys here that need to have it done, as uncomfortable as it might be. Including you.

I like the "wheels" thing though.

mvscal · Post by **mvscal** » Sun May 23, 2010 5:29 am

Roger_the_Shrubber wrote:It was all about the guys here that need to have it done, as uncomfortable as it might be. Including you.

Is that all? Really? I doubt it. You seem positively giddy after having a finger shoved up your ass and I really don't care to know why.

Roger_the_Shrubber · Post by **Roger_the_Shrubber** » Sun May 23, 2010 5:31 am

mvscal wrote:
Roger_the_Shrubber wrote:It was all about the guys here that need to have it done, as uncomfortable as it might be. Including you.
Is that all? Really? I doubt it. You seem positively giddy after having a finger shoved up your ass and I really don't care to know why.

Having anything go in(insert gay joke here____________) instead of out, and it was...gross.

How did I know you'd be the first?

:P

stuckinia · Post by **stuckinia** » Sun May 23, 2010 5:34 am

You should worry less about your prostate and more about that fact that you are a fucking drug-addled, psychotic mess. Quit the gubmint drugs and put your legs to the use that your God originally intended. Walk your shit ass off the nearest cliff.

Ana Ng · Post by **Ana Ng** » Sun May 23, 2010 5:42 am

stuckinia wrote:.....put your legs to the use that your God originally intended. Walk your shit ass off the nearest cliff.

-1

Roger_the_Shrubber · Post by **Roger_the_Shrubber** » Sun May 23, 2010 5:42 am

Stuck,

You are why I keep coming back here.

The complete idiocy, moronic drivel, and total lack of logic and intelligence, along with insults worthy of a 3rd grader are just damn perfect! PERFECT!

Keep it up! You....complete.....one 10th of a brain cell of your basic planarium.

:D

Screw_Michigan · Post by **Screw_Michigan** » Sun May 23, 2010 5:59 am

Rack Ana.

stuckinia · Post by **stuckinia** » Sun May 23, 2010 6:01 am

Roger_the_Shrubber wrote: The complete idiocy, moronic drivel, and total lack of logic and intelligence, along with insults worthy of a 3rd grader are just damn perfect! PERFECT!
:D

Jesus Shrub, your words hurt. This is all I got. My feeble mind can only regurgitate insults I have previously read on this board. It pains me that I have not hurt you with my pointless words. Can you at least pretend to be smacked?

stuckinia · Post by **stuckinia** » Sun May 23, 2010 6:08 am

Screw_Michigan wrote:Rack Ana.

Die in a tire fire.

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Sun May 23, 2010 2:19 pm

stuckinia wrote:Quit the gubmint

:swoon:

~ Smackaholic

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Sun May 23, 2010 2:37 pm

I'm sorry Shrubber, I haven't been following the timeline...

...but when did you go from being an internet nuisance to full on Christian?

I've been speed-scrolling past your flamebait drivel for almost a decade now, so I need to get caught up this new Shrubber 2.0

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Sun May 23, 2010 3:03 pm

Why is RtS calling out my member, and suggesting I have some hag fingerbang my dirtpipe? Unease has settled like a dank morning mist.

Van · Post by **Van** » Sun May 23, 2010 3:23 pm

For all R-t-S's countless faults, I don't believe he's ever actually called out PSUFAN's member.

R-Jack · Post by **R-Jack** » Sun May 23, 2010 3:52 pm

PSUFAN wrote:Why is RtS calling out my member, and suggesting I have some hag fingerbang my dirtpipe? Unease has settled like a dank morning mist.

I don't think he realizes how uncomfortable that is for folks who can feel below their waist.

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Sun May 23, 2010 4:07 pm

Van wrote:For all R-t-S's countless faults, I don't believe he's ever actually called out PSUFAN's member.

I'm not sure what I believe anymore. Poptart has me all screwed up

Rooster · Post by **Rooster** » Sun May 23, 2010 5:50 pm

Ok, I'll probably regret typing this seconds after I press "Submit," but true story here. As a pilot I have to go in twice a year for a Class 1 Flight Physical, which for us in this line of work is placing our career in the hands of another person who doesn't have a vested interest in keeping us flying. The result is nearly every pilot I know searches out flight physicians who ask you to sign the check and they pass you your medical, few or no questions asked.

Well, my flight doc had recently retired and I was searching for a good one-- someone not too interested in actally looking at my health since I go to a regular doc for that --and got a name from another pilot considerably younger than me. This last point is significant in that after you turn 40 a rectal/prostate exam becomes mandatory (unless you get a doc who just wants you to sign that check).

I go in, fill out the paperwork, do the normal vision, hearing, and physical repsonse tests by the assisting nurse and then wait for the doc to come in and do the rest of the exam. Well, since this is our first time meeting each other he spends some time playing aviation Bingo, where each of us ask the other about people and places we have met or been. It turns out that the dude, who is visibly quite old, was a veteren/survivor of the Bataan Death March. The Japs had done him a bad turn and broken his hands and finger multiple times during his time as a PoW, leaving him with fingers as arthritic and gnarled as old cedar branch.

So after a while he does the whole tap-tap-tap thing on my chest while listening with his stethescope, looks in my ears and mouth, checks my range of motion with my arms and legs and then asks me to stand up and drop trou for the normal hernia turn-your-head-and-cough check. No problem-o. Normal exam stuff. Then after grunting in what I surmised to be satisfaction at my hernia-less abdomen, he looks up at me and says, "Ok, I want you to turn around, lean over the exam table and rest your upper body on your elbows. Time for a prostate check."

Whaaaaa?

Hey-hey-hey, I'm cherry, doc, ever since my in-processing exam in the Army. I didn't like it then and I don't think I'm gonna like it now. No matter, no prostate check, no Class 1 medical, my choice. Awwww.

Ok, I grimace and do my best to relax for the inevitable, but then as I hear that dreaded *Snap!* of the latex glove going on, I remember that the dude has hands that look like he superglued jigsaw puzzle pieces onto his knuckles-- oh oh ohohoh this is gonna...

...pop-pop-pop, his finger goes in like benwa balls, roots around, and just as quickly, pop-pop-pop extracts his finger.

Then to add insult to anal injury, he casually wipes my ass with a Kleenex instead of letting me do it, thus smearing the KY around, and demands I pull up my pants. I sheepishly gather up my jeans around my waist, all the while feeling that KY squish around inbetween my ass cheeks. "Ok, your prostate is normal, head up to the front desk and have the nurse finish filling out the paperwork. That'll be $175."

Ow.

I asked my pilot acquaitance about his experiences with this flight doc and he being considerably younger than me, shrugged and said the doc had never subjected him to such... experiments. Meh, life after 40, I guess.

Sirfindafold · Post by **Sirfindafold** » Sun May 23, 2010 8:11 pm

Roger_the_Shrubber wrote:.... she was juggling my coyanze like she was trying figure out if they were ripe.

piss poor attempt at stealing a Dice Clay rant.

get fucked.

Mace · Post by **Mace** » Sun May 23, 2010 11:11 pm

Even though this thread is turning out rather poorly for Shrub, he's absolutely right. If you're 40 or older, get a prostate exam.....or a PSA test. I posted a similar thread in 2000 after having the exam and discovering that I had prostate cancer. I'm cancer free for 10 years now and can testify that any discomfort one feels is more that worth knowing if you have prostate cancer. The fact is that most all of you will develope prostate cancer if you live long enough.

mvscal · Post by **mvscal** » Sun May 23, 2010 11:42 pm

Mace wrote:The fact is that most all of you will develope prostate cancer if you live long enough.

Probably not. Buncha fukken jerkoffs...

Masturbation 'cuts cancer risk'

Men could reduce their risk of developing prostate cancer through regular masturbation, researchers suggest. They say cancer-causing chemicals could build up in the prostate if men do not ejaculate regularly.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/3072021.stm

Van · Post by **Van** » Sun May 23, 2010 11:46 pm

Are we going to get ourselves a new plastic bracelet thingie signifying our noble struggle to prevent prostate cancer? It should have a little bell on it, too, to remind us what a good job we're doing.

"Honey, it's not what you think! I was just doing my part to fight prostate cancer! Dammit, why can't you ever support me??"

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Sun May 23, 2010 11:47 pm

Rooster wrote: ...pop-pop-pop, his finger goes in like benwa balls....

is that so?

Mace · Post by **Mace** » Mon May 24, 2010 12:17 am

mvscal wrote:
Mace wrote:The fact is that most all of you will develope prostate cancer if you live long enough.
Probably not. Buncha fukken jerkoffs...

Masturbation 'cuts cancer risk'

Men could reduce their risk of developing prostate cancer through regular masturbation, researchers suggest. They say cancer-causing chemicals could build up in the prostate if men do not ejaculate regularly.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/3072021.stm

The fact that I had prostate cancer would cast serious doubts on the findings of these so called researchers.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Mon May 24, 2010 12:25 am

Mace wrote:
mvscal wrote:
Mace wrote:The fact is that most all of you will develope prostate cancer if you live long enough.
Probably not. Buncha fukken jerkoffs...

Masturbation 'cuts cancer risk'

Men could reduce their risk of developing prostate cancer through regular masturbation, researchers suggest. They say cancer-causing chemicals could build up in the prostate if men do not ejaculate regularly.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/3072021.stm
The fact that I had prostate cancer would cast serious doubts on the findings of these so called researchers.

I think you are what they call a statistical anomaly in the cypherin' bidness.

Mace · Post by **Mace** » Mon May 24, 2010 12:29 am

Okay, I can buy that. All of those jerk offs and I still got prostate cancer. Oh well, at least I had fun practicing preventative medicine.

mvscal · Post by **mvscal** » Mon May 24, 2010 1:06 am

Maybe you didn't apply yourself hard enough. You can't just half-ass go through the motions and expect to beat the Big C. It takes years of training and preparation. It takes the discipline to dedicate hours of practice every day to keep in shape.

I you think shooting a few lazy dribblers into a tubesock is gonna get it done, you better guess again, sportsfan.

Mace · Post by **Mace** » Mon May 24, 2010 1:18 am

mvscal wrote:Maybe you didn't apply yourself hard enough. You can't just half-ass go through the motions and expect to beat the Big C. It takes years of training and preparation. It takes the discipline to dedicate hours of practice every day to keep in shape.

I you think shooting a few lazy dribblers into a tubesock is gonna get it done, you better guess again, sportsfan.

Yeah, there must have been a flaw in my technique, but it wasn't for lack of enthusiasm.

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Mon May 24, 2010 1:23 am

This thread is making me uncomfortable.

Mace · Post by **Mace** » Mon May 24, 2010 1:45 am

No need to be uncomfortable, Wags. :)

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Mon May 24, 2010 2:48 am

Roger_the_Shrubber wrote: It was all about the guys here that need to have it done, as uncomfortable as it might be.

You've seen that endlessly annoying commercial where the guy is asking all these stupid questions about a cell phone and then when he's at the doctor he has no questions?

I'm that guy, except that I ask my doctor for free samples of Viagara, Levitra, and Cialis.... because I haven't really made up my mind yet which one works best.

Trampis · Post by **Trampis** » Mon May 24, 2010 4:20 am

pop hyphen pop hyphen pop??? Did he use 3 fingers on you Rooster?

Ill start watching my health at 50 TY very much...Im as pert as a ruttin buck at 39.

OCmike · Post by **OCmike** » Mon May 24, 2010 6:14 am

One of the treatments for prostate cancer is to shoot radioactive seeds into the gland near the tumor site.

The Finger every five years > glowing taint bullets

missjo · Post by **missjo** » Mon May 24, 2010 8:31 am

Trampis wrote:pop hyphen pop hyphen pop??? Did he use 3 fingers on you Rooster?

(!) link to a pic of a dude ramming his entire arm up another man's ass (!)

Edited by 88

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Mon May 24, 2010 9:59 am

missjo, was that really necessary? yikes!!!!

pop hyphen pop hyphen pop???

did anyone else read this as "pop hymen pop hymen pop??? initially.

Terry in Crapchester · Mon May 24, 2010 12:03 pm

mvscal wrote:
Mace wrote:The fact is that most all of you will develope prostate cancer if you live long enough.
Probably not. Buncha fukken jerkoffs...

Masturbation 'cuts cancer risk'

Men could reduce their risk of developing prostate cancer through regular masturbation, researchers suggest. They say cancer-causing chemicals could build up in the prostate if men do not ejaculate regularly.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/3072021.stm

Had it not been for Mace's prostate cancer, this would've been the best news I'd heard in quite awhile.

Cuda · Post by **Cuda** » Mon May 24, 2010 8:05 pm

Martyred wrote:I'm sorry Shrubber, I haven't been following the timeline...

...but when did you go from being an internet nuisance to full on Christian?

I've been speed-scrolling past your flamebait drivel for almost a decade now, so I need to get caught up this new Shrubber 2.0

He's not a Jew anymore?

I suppose next we'll find out he's no longer a coon.