Jokes About Van

[Shlomart Ben Yisrael]

Q: How many delusional shut-ins does it take to construct an absurd fantasy life?

A: Van.

[Shlomart Ben Yisrael]

"Take my ex-wife's life...please, TAKE IT!"

[Shlomart Ben Yisrael]

Q: Did Van lift that whole SRV tape playing in his wife's car at the time of impact from "The Big Lebowski"? (ie: CCR tape)

A: Yes...and it takes 8 Pollacks to screw in a light bulb.

[mvscal]

What are you attempting to compensate for?

[mvscal]

I suppose that does come with a veritable grab bag of insecurities and inadequacies.

[Shlomart Ben Yisrael]

What are you attempting to compensate for?

My eternal shame...knowing you.

[Shlomart Ben Yisrael]

Once upon a time, children threw rocks at Van's window, because his parents locked him in his room to practice the accordion. They slid cheese sandwiches under the door and he never kissed a girl.

The end.

[Diego in Seattle]

What are you attempting to compensate for?

My eternal shame...knowing you.

Thanks for confirming that you're incapable of replying with anything other than IKYABWAI.

[Shlomart Ben Yisrael]

What are you attempting to compensate for?

My eternal shame...knowing you.

Thanks for confirming that you're incapable of replying with anything other than IKYABWAI.

He made a funny.
I returned the funny.

You truly are a monumental bore.

[Diego in Seattle]

You returned nothing. I doubt that you could produce a post containing any substance.

[Shlomart Ben Yisrael]

You returned nothing. I doubt that you could produce a post containing any substance.

If this is about me clowning on you for being a kiddie diddler, you can either:

a) Change your nic and return as a more engaging and interesting poster

...or...

b) Just fuck off


I do find your tenacity fascinating, though. Commonly the butt of many jokes and the target of derision by most, you trudge on.

Props.

[Dr_Phibes]

If that story was real, the last thing any normal person would do, is pin it on their chest like a badge to score points on a messageboard. I mean, aside from the fact that it's completely absurd. That's more-like the work of an emotional cripple.

[Dr_Phibes]

All I saw was a fucked up teenager emotionally blackmailing their parent, then when they saw that drew sufficient sympathy - started throwing elbows around - neener-neener-neener.
It's all there in black and whiite (or pixels). The fact that it was so surreal in composition makes it all the more funny.

[BSmack]

If that story was real, the last thing any normal person would do, is pin it on their chest like a badge to score points on a messageboard. I mean, aside from the fact that it's completely absurd. That's more-like the work of an emotional cripple.

That's almost as absurd as a young man growing up in Canada and desiring to live North Korea.

[Dr_Phibes]

Or an old man thinking the rest of the planet is a mirror image of the local shopping mall. I don't want to live there, the food would be a bit shit and I don't speak Korean. They're tough as nails, North Koreans.

[poptart]

Once upon a time, children threw rocks at Van's window, because his parents locked him in his room to practice the accordion.

lol

[Shlomart Ben Yisrael]

Hey Marty - just for argument sake - let's say Van's story is real.

It's not.

Get over it.

[MgoBlue-LightSpecial]

Yeah, you're a douche.

[War Wagon]

If that story was real, the last thing any normal person would do, is pin it on their chest like a badge to score points on a messageboard. I mean, aside from the fact that it's completely absurd. That's more-like the work of an emotional cripple.

Van didn't pin it on his chest.

I caused that to be brought out and while Van may indeed be an emotional cripple (as if there were any other kind), it's not because of this episode.

I tend to give him the benefit of the doubt on that story, no matter how well rehearsed it was.

[Shlomart Ben Yisrael]

Yeah, you're a douche.

The commies ran Van.

Sorry to spoil your "Oprah Book Of The Month Club", faggot. Go find yourself a tissue and have a good cry.

[Shlomart Ben Yisrael]

[indyfrisco]

christ...the "troll circle" has come full circle

[mvscal]

Hey Marty - just for argument sake - let's say Van's story is real.

It's too late for that. Even if it is true...especially if it is true he really has no choice but to double down on his douchebaggery and try to bluff his way out of it as best he can.

He has become the British Petroleum of shitty 'smack.'

[Shlomart Ben Yisrael]

Kickin' it with Van.

[indyfrisco]

why the fuck would you save that?

[Shlomart Ben Yisrael]

why the fuck would you save that?

Luther PM'ed it to me.

[MgoBlue-LightSpecial]

You're trying way too hard, bro. Take a break.

[Dr_Phibes]

Yeah right, serious business this is.

[Dr_Phibes]

Sorry Todd, I'll get to it later - I'm off to hospital, my gran just slipped a disc at a Tom Jones concert and she hasn't got long.