Bloodthirsty Americans declare all out war on Canada...

[Shlomart Ben Yisrael]

...Geese.



New York's Canada Goose cull sparks outrage and controversy

"The Geese were taken to a building where they were killed with carbon dioxide gas. After being gassed, the birds' bodies were "double-bagged" and taken to the landfill."



It's like Goose-Auschwitz! You motherfuckers!

"It’s eerie to see a whole population gone. There’s not one goose on this lake. It looks as though they’ve been Photoshopped out.”




First they came for the Canada Goose, but I wasn't a Canada Goose, so I said nothing...

[Sirfindafold]

...and how does Canada retaliate? By posting shit threads.

[Shlomart Ben Yisrael]

Dumb. Get them away from the airports, but you don't have to do it that way.

Why don't YOU get your planes away from OUR birds?

[Imus]

Next time you are porking old Perk in the ass, do it different and don't try to stop him from honking.

[Mikey]

There are starving children on the Gulf Coast, and they're just dumping these birds?

This is a travesty!!

I'm sure there's a way to make goose meat taste like errsters and shrimp.

[Shlomart Ben Yisrael]

There are starving children on the Gulf Coast, and they're just dumping these birds?

This is a travesty!!

I'm sure there's a way to make goose meat taste like errsters and shrimp.

The raccoons are next, Mikey. THEY ARE NEXT!

[War Wagon]

It's like Goose-Auschwitz! You motherfuckers!

bwa!

Got thousands of them around here as well and they are a pain in the ass. They'll brazenly walk across the road in lines of 4-8, oblivious to oncoming traffic. Just expect everyone is going to yield to their honking asses.

[mvscal]

What was dumb was killing all those birds and not eating them.

Exactly. They should have been taken to local foodbanks. Add some day old bread and some potatoes and you've got roast goose with stuffing, gravy and mash potatoes.

[Dinsdale]

If you run short, there's this place near Portland called Sauvie's Island, and there's about a million of them stopping there every year (at least it's miles from the airport).

If you need to replenish stocks, let me know.

Actually, I read an article years ago that said 1.5 billion waterfowl stop at Sauvie's every year, which sounds like horseshit-to-an-order-of-magnitude to me. But it is like the Waterfowl-Capital-Of-The-World, and I've seen spring days literally go dark from ducks and geese. They have these hunting blinds, mostly private, where people get in line with their dog, and wait a couple of hours to get a spot, then get their 8 (bag limit) as fast as they can reload (Oregon only allows 3 shells loaded at a time), then it's a matter of how fast the dog can get them... while all the people in line bitch to hurry up.


Just a freaking slaughter... that has about zero impact with that many birds around.


Sidenote -- the cops have sure been looking for the missing Kyron Horman kid along the Channel at Sauvie's (Sauvie's is a big long skinny island in the delta of the Willamette/Columbia confluence, known for ridiculous good/overpriced produce, and nude beaches). Just when I think the Kyron case can't get any more weird... it does. It would be high-theater/comedy, if there wasn't a missing kid involved.

[Dinsdale]

Exactly. They should have been taken to local foodbanks.

Here in Oregon, when they do stuff like that, and particularly with farmers who obtain licenses to kill threatening deer at-will, it gets turned in (cough-cough), and they use it to feed the prison inmates, more often than not (since it usually isn't handled for a shit).

[Cuda]

What was dumb was killing all those birds and not eating them.

Exactly. They should have been taken to local foodbanks. Add some day old bread and some potatoes and you've got roast goose with stuffing, gravy and mash potatoes.

throw in some cornbread stuffing and you've got PrimeX with a priapism

[smackaholic]

i think it may be a nationwide plot.

the other day as i'm pedaling my bike home after work, i come across some sort of roadkill.

wtf? i thought. it's big, mangled and bloody. as i was just about over it i realized, it was what was left of an upper messican goose.

first UM goose roadkill i've seen in my 47 years. those things are usually gifted in the art of not getting runned the fuk over, but, this one wasn't.

at the other end of the streetwise spectrum is the dove. them fukks just like getting runned over. they usually fly away about 20 msecs before you get to them. the other day i was moving along at a pretty good clip on the way to work and one waited about 20 msec too long.

POOF!!!!

I looked in the sideview mirror and saw a gray feather cloud. it was awesome.

[Dinsdale]

I see a few splattered Upper Mexicans -- both on TV Highway in Washco (west side), and the waterfowl kind around the area.

Then again, we have ridiculous numbers of both -- and the two-legged ones don't hold their liquor nearly as well.

[Dr_Phibes]

I hit one once - when I took my road test. I had a Jamaican instructer who said things like - 'Left turn, Phibes, goody - goody'.' Put your signal on.. goody - goody'. I smacked it and it exploded, it's just like being in a snowstorm - weird. I burst out laughing and couldn't stop, the instructor said, 'that's really not funny'.
The End.

[Dinsdale]

I hit one once - when I took my road test. I had a Jamaican instructer who said things like - 'Left turn, Phibes, goody - goody'.' Put your signal on.. goody - goody'. I smacked it and it exploded, it's just like being in a snowstorm - weird. I burst out laughing and couldn't stop, the instructor said, 'that's really not funny'.
The End.

Where I live, if during a driving test, your vehicle makes contact with a person, animal, or vehicle...

test over.


First try, my older sister explored this rule... by hitting a cop car.


It was some mighty good times, for anyone not named Dinsdale's Sister.

Laughter ruled the day... OK, more like it ruled the month.

[Truman]

Go fuck yourself and fuck PETA while you're at it.

What was dumb was killing all those birds and not eating them.

You ever try to EAT a Canadian?

Fuckin' inedible. Even the area homeless thumb their collective noses at them after a controlled kill.

Rat's with wings. A goose-specific-neutron-bomb couldn't be invented fast enough.

[Dinsdale]

You ever try to EAT a Canadian?

Super-greasey, super-tough.


But super-abundant around here, so they get eht.

I could get them by the dozens in my backyard, if I were so inclined (although silencing the weapon would probably be required).

[smackaholic]

You ever try to EAT a Canadian?

there's an Mperk reset, somewhere in there.

[smackaholic]

one other thing.

it is not a canadian goose. it is a canada goose. dumbfukk.

[Dinsdale]

You ever try to EAT a Canadian?

there's an Mperk reset, somewhere in there.

Have two -- they're VERY small.


Sin,
Cinder and Katy

[Truman]

one other thing.

Who doesn't love a smackaholic post?[/rhetorical]

[Dinsdale]

Have two -- they're VERY small.


Sin,
Cinder and Katy

Oh, I dunno -- filled me up pretty good.


Sin,
Martyred

[Goober McTuber]

you've got PrimeX with a priapism

Keep your fucking fantasies to yourself, you sick fuck.