for those that don't know, cutco is a company that peddles their cutlery through door to door college kids.
it really is a pretty brilliant marketing philosophy. how could you help but not help out a poor starving college kid just trying to scrape together
Well, I did, but, I'm a cheap fukk. Anyhoo,it was a somewhat eventful visit.
Young Ian pulled in promptly at 8 PM in mom's minivan, just like he promised. He was kind of aloof. Hell, he was over the top aloof actually. I don't see sales being in his future. He is an art student, which I think is code for gax.
Everything got off to a good start. he started off with one of their cooler products, a very nice, beefy set of scissors that do a nice yob making a penny into a curly fry. I would have bought a set of these fukking things if they were just kind of overpriced at say 40 bucks.
they were 90.
no thanks, i don't have much need for dicing change anyway.
then it got interesting. dude handed me a very nice, very sharp, EXTREMELY point carving knife. I was looking it over when mrs smack says "lemme see that". i was seated in the dinnnig room. she was to my left, standing. I turned in her direction with the knife in my right hand. for some unknown reason, she reached straight out towards the knife with her left hand. the extremely pointy knife tip hit her dead square in the middle of one of my favorite jackoff props, her left palm.
she went ouch and pulled her hand back. blood started dripping.
me: (a bit startled) you all right hon?
her: ouch, that fukking hurt. my fingers are numb. i think you hit a nerve or a tendon.
cutco pimp dude:
me: lemme see. wiggle your fingers (she could) no tendon damage, i don't think. rub some dirt in'it. you'll be fine.
i explained to her that i found out a long time ago during a moment of tablesaw dumbfukkery, that numbness was normal when you rip your hand open. she's fine today.
after taking the very pointy knife to the sink and rinsing off mrs smack blood, i handed it back to him. eventually, the color returned to his face when he realized she'd likely live.
me: well, bet that don't happen every time.
cutco pimp:
nope, that was a first me: so let's see the next one...
and the presentation continued.
when he handed me a very nice, stupidly sharp fairly wide blade i figured it was time to do the official redneck knife sharpness test. i layed it on my left forearm almost flat and carefully slid it up my arm.
no scraping, no irritation, no stubble. smooooove as a baby's bottom.
me: wow, that's one sharpass knife!!!!!!! i've spent hours with a pocket knife, a stone and some oil and still didn't get that level of shaving ease. if this thing holds anything close to that edge, it is worth good money, but, not cutco money.
his 13-14 piece "homemakers set" was almost 8 bills. Sorry, but, my old crappy knives will have to do for now.
i'm sure between the stabbing and redneck sharpness test, young ian will have an equally good story to tell.
