What's a Canadian to do in KC?

[Cueball]

[TheJON]

They were defending their shithole and I was ripping on it. They live on the Missouri side. I was defending the Kansas side. There is a BIG difference.

Kansas Shitty is a steaming fucking pile no matter if you're talking about KS or MO. Shit is shit. Thanks for playing.

I can't argue this. You live in the northeast, so you should be an expert on a steaming pile of shit.

[ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2]

Q: Just exactly how does one tell whether they're in Steaming Pile MO or Steaming Pile KS?


A: In Missouri, they say... "welcome to Kansas City, would you like it if I grabbed your junk today?" In KS, they say... "welcome to Kansas City, would you like it if I jizzed in your face today?"

P.S. I know you're gay but what am I?

[Mace]

You wouldn't fit in.

Thanks for the compliment.

Most people here have all of their teeth and don't fuck sheep... or their sister for that matter. Stay in Methland, you fucking inbred. I don't care.

Well, aren't you the clever one with the incest and meth references? No, not so much. So all of your sheep are virgins, huh? Okay, so maybe I'll have to reconsider my vacation plans in the near future.

[mvscal]

Q: Just exactly how does one tell whether they're in Steaming Pile MO or Steaming Pile KS?


A: In Missouri, they say... "welcome to Kansas City, would you like it if I grabbed your junk today?" In KS, they say... "welcome to Kansas City, would you like it if I jizzed in your face today?"

P.S. I know you're gay but what am I?

[Truman]

But you initially directed those questions at JON.

Who doesn't live here.

Which makes you a Grade A, cast-iron 'tard.

I directed my questions at Jon because passed himself off as an authority about your steaming shithole. He seems to think it's a great place to live. While you, KC Scott, and Wags were busy grabbing dude's junk somewhere in or around your steaming shithole, Jon was in here defending it. Who exactly was I supposed to direct my questions to, faggot?

Faggot, indeed.

Cutting smack from a Choad so insecure in his own manhood that he applied for a Concealed Carry permit from the Commonwealth of Massachusetts to pack something called a “fag-o-meter”.

Help me remember, icantpostinathreadwithoutkickingmyownassSTyle2, just WHO was it now that professed mad love for Justin Bieber AND dropped an “OMG” in the same thread?! Fifteen year-old little girl much, usuck?

So NOW we’re to believe that TheJON is an authority in your world, too, Choad? Did it occur to you that the Defenders were simply laying back and enjoying watching you get trolled?

Lemme guess: You seek legal advice from Midget Sale too.

Hat trick, Loser. Not only did you get trooled by TheJON and butter-flied and deveined by your own ignorance, you dropped a fag-bomb in support of your asshat argument.

Way too funny. You really aren’t very good at this, Choad...

[ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2]

I know you like Justin Beiber but what I am?

Riveting.

[Truman]

Fixed. NC.

[ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2]

I know you're waiving a white flag, but what am I?

[ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2]

l to r: KC MO . KC KS

[smackaholic]

there's a KC, MO, but kansas didn't see any need to name a city after their neighbors across the river.

sounds like KS to me.

[Truman]

Of Course it does, asshat, because you’re a complete flaming dumbass.

Town of Kansas founding: 1851-1853

State of Kansas founding: 1861

Serious question:

So just WHERE is this river that divides our humble flyover cities that you speak of, Meriwether?

Might wanna seriously consider an atlas before posting next time, Sparky.

What a box of dicks. -the-fuck-out-loud

[Truman]

Yo, ucunt:

Your "smack" makes you're butt look big...

Sin,

A buncha Kansas City Faggots [/Slim Pickins]

[smackaholic]

Of Course it does, asshat, because you’re a complete flaming dumbass.

Town of Kansas founding: 1851-1853

State of Kansas founding: 1861

Serious question:

So just WHERE is this river that divides our humble flyover cities that you speak of, Meriwether?

Might wanna seriously consider an atlas before posting next time, Sparky.

What a box of dicks. -the-fuck-out-loud

pardon my geographical ignorance. i was thinking that there was a river forming the state border in that area. i actually did drive through that dump a few years back and remembered going over a bridge somewhere near the downtown area.

my point was that missourians seemed to think enough about kansas, even if it wasn't a state yet, to name a city after it. kansas didn't return the favor and i can't say i blame them.

my most distinct recollection of missouri was the amazing number of adult book store billboards. i think they use them as mile markers on I-70.

[Truman]

my point was that missourians seemed to think enough about kansas, even if it wasn't a state yet, to name a city after it. kansas didn't return the favor and i can't say i blame them.

Well, there's that....

Or perhaps the Territory thought enough of the Town to name a state after it. Pity that maddening state line got in the middle of all that....

Either or.

Or mebbe there was an indigenous tribe runnin' around these parts whose name simply fit the area when it came to namin' stuff at that time.

Regardless, nettling things like dates-history-intelligence clearly escapes you. Oh, and, BTW: You're still an asshat.

[War Wagon]

KC was named after the confluence of the Kansas river and the Missouri river, to my eternal chagrin.

KC is not in Kansas.

Kansas is a dingleberry attached to Missouri ass. Seems we're stuck with that.

But whenever anybody refers to Kansas City, realize that it resides in Missouri.

KCMO, not hard to remember.

[smackaholic]

KC was named after the confluence of the Kansas river and the Missouri river, to my eternal chagrin.

KC is not in Kansas.

Kansas is a dingleberry attached to Missouri ass. Seems we're stuck with that.

But whenever anybody refers to Kansas City, realize that it resides in Missouri.

KCMO, not hard to remember.

my exposure to each was admittedly limited (drove across once) but i remember kansas as being reasonably nice as boring flyover country goes. perhaps it was their amazing lack of "diversity" (rack them). perhaps it was just that the drive through MO was so awful, well i guess it's a'ight if adult book store billboards are your idea of scenery.

anyhoo, i'll take being a U&R asshat any day over your crappy states.

[Mace]

As someone who doesn't reside in either of those states but who has traveled in both, I think the rural areas of Missouri are beautiful and quite interesting to travel the hills of the Ozarks. Kansas, otoh, is flat and boring...and similar to everything west of Omaha in Nebraska. In all honesty, I've only been to Kansas a couple of times...once to a football game at K-State, and another when we drove through the state on our way to San Diego for the Holiday Bowl. I'm far more familiar with Missouri, since I live less than 20 miles from the border, so I may not have a true picture of Kansas. I guess that I made one other trip to Kansas, Atchison, KS, to umpire a college baseball game on one occasion, but the town is located on the border and the land resembled that of every town located on the river.

I enjoy giving shit to Missourians here on the board, but it really is a beautiful state with a lot of things to do for entertainment, and inhabited by a lot of very nice people, just like those who frequent this board.

[War Wagon]

I guess that I made one other trip to Kansas, Atchison, KS, to umpire a college baseball game on one occasion, but the town is located on the border and the land resembled that of every town located on the river.

Benedictine college? Has to be, I don't know of any other colleges in Atchison.

As much grief as I like to give Kansas, that is one gorgeous campus that overlooks the Mighty Mo. river bluffs. Went up there a coupla' times to watch my daughter play and witnessed her hit a HR, the first and only one I had ever been present for.

Atchison was also the home of Amelia Earhart, so at least it's got that going for it.

[Mace]

Yeah, it was Benedictine College. They had a beautiful baseball facility except for one thing. Right field was on a dike and had a steep slope which forces the right fielder to position himself halfway up the hill. Quite an unusual quirk that sets it apart from any field I've seen....and not in a good way. Probably tough to recruit right fielders.

[Truman]

Well, we must be doin’ something right, Mace. The Ozark hills are thick with Iowa plates each summer, and I can’t think of a better bunch to talk basketball with and tip a few than the Cyclone fans that swell Kelly’s bar come Big XII Tournament time. Hell, that venerable old Irish icon even sells Kelly’s Bar tee shirts in cardinal and gold!

I used to hold the same opinion as you on Kansas, Mace, but I guess age has tempered my attitude just a bit. It’s actually kind of awe-inspiring watching America’s salt-of-earth working the miles-upon-endless-miles of wheat in scorching weather as we pass by in relative 75 mph air conditioned comfort and knowing that its eventual harvest will feed our country – and half the world. And there ARE some pretty sites if you know where to look for ‘em.

Eastern Kansas, down 69 highway just south of the city to Pittsburg (correct spelling, B), features forests and hills, and pits and streams that are just thick with trophy bass. And the treeless, rolling land mass known as the Flint Hills that run from roughly Wichita to Manhattan are quite beautiful as the sun rises early of a morning. Fall brings a riot of colors as the wheat reddens and the beans turn gold. And what Wags said about the bluff towns that hug the western bank of the Missouri…

But I guess the event that kinda changed my attitude towards Kansas was the evening we decided to give up the ghost after a hard day’s drive from the Colorado’s Western Slope and set up camp at a KOA in Colby. The town has like four trees and a Pizza Hut, and after 10 days of eating dinner off a campfire in the woods, we were definitely in for a pan pizza-or-three. That’s when we noticed a pretty nice-sized crowd gathering at the town’s ball field just behind the restaurant.

Turns out it was Legion game, with blood rivals Colby and Oakley squaring off in a playoff game for the right to play Goodland or Hutch or some other big-time Kansas town in the state tournament. I think everybody who lived in those two towns showed up for the game, and lawn chairs ringed the fences down both foul lines and well across the outfield.

Colby is a High Plains town, and with the setting of the sun, the temperature dropped appreciably and the day’s scorching air was freshened by an evening breeze. But that did nothing to cut the tension that hung over the crowded ball park as each town’s young heroes squared off against each other.

I don’t guess I remember who won – and it really doesn’t matter. All I know is that I witnessed something Special - something that I had only pictured while reading a McMurtry novel, or seen in a Rockwell painting. It was good and pure and embodied everything that we had ever been taught about our country by our parents as we grew up. It was a little slice of Americana that you can’t find anywhere near a suburb or city. And I was a far-richer person for having had the chance to experience it.

[ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2]

I don’t guess I remember who won – and it really doesn’t matter. All I know is that I witnessed something Special - something that I had only pictured while reading a McMurtry novel, or seen in a Rockwell painting. It was good and pure and embodied everything that we had ever been taught about our country by our parents as we grew up. It was a little slice of Americana that you can’t find anywhere near a suburb or city. And I was a far-richer person for having had the chance to experience it.

Best paragraph I've read in this shithole for quite a while. RACK.

[smackaholic]

Eastern Kansas, down 69 highway just south of the city to Pittsburg (correct spelling, B), features forests and hills, and pits and streams that are just thick with trophy bass. And the treeless, rolling land mass known as the Flint Hills that run from roughly Wichita to Manhattan are quite beautiful as the sun rises early of a morning. Fall brings a riot of colors as the wheat reddens and the beans turn gold. And what Wags said about the bluff towns that hug the western bank of the Missouri…

i remember this stretch, but it was on hiway 51 (i think). It is the state hiway that runs diagonally across the teeehas and Ok panhandles, up through wichita till it's hit the interstate somewhere SW of KC. the wind making waves through the rolling wheat fields was quite beautiful.

missouri actually was quite pretty and actually very similar to new england, 'cept for the lack of picturesque villages with 300 year old houses. and the porn signs of course.

we spent a night in witchita. very clean looking town and extremely white from what i saw of it. probably boring as hell but a good place to raise a family.

[War Wagon]

Tru does have a knack for the written word... 2nd that RACK!

That was a nice story and it reminds me of the few summers I spent on my uncle's farm outside Seneca KS as a young'en.

While I was born in KCMO and am as much of a city boy as the next hoodlum hanging out on the street corner, I still have many fond memories of that farm and that small community. The folks who live in places like that may not have large bank accounts or retirement funds, but for quality of character and life, they are rich beyond measure.

[War Wagon]

i remember this stretch, but it was on hiway 51 (i think). It is the state hiway that runs diagonally across the teeehas and Ok panhandles, up through wichita till it's hit the interstate somewhere SW of KC.

That'd be US 54, a single lane stretch of asphalt that goes on and on and on, seeminly forever, that every trucker in the country uses to avoid weigh stations and toll roads. And I swear that the next time I need to get to New Mexico or back, I'm taking the turnpike. The fastest route between point a and point b is not always a straight line.

[smackaholic]

yeah, that's it, 54. it also went through that town that the twister buttfukked in the mouf a few years back, greenburg or greenville or something like that.

it was about 3 or 4 months after the twister when we rode through. nothing but foundations! one of the weirdest things i've ever seen.

[Atomic Punk]

I-44 going from Tulsa, Oklahoma across the state of Missouri is one beautiful drive. If I was to live in a flyover area, it would be close to Springfield, MO. Also, the Ozarks are incredible beautiful in the Fall. (I forgot about all of the pr0n billboards you see on the side).

Weird thing is, the ugliest region I've ever seen in the US was on I-40 between Memphis, TN and Little Rock, AR. Ugly territory and the freeway seems to be made of potholes.

[War Wagon]

I-44 going from Tulsa, Oklahoma across the state of Missouri is one beautiful drive. If I was to live in a flyover area, it would be close to Springfield, MO. Also, the Ozarks are incredible beautiful in the Fall. (I forgot about all of the pr0n billboards you see on the side).

Pretty sure the pron billboards and shops are setup along I-70, not I-44, at least not between Tulsa and Springfield. For good reason, that stretch is truly known as the Bible Belt of America. You can't swing a dead skunk in those parts w/o hitting an evangelical.

But you are correct about the Ozarks being beautiful in the Fall, but not just the Fall. They are beautiful year round and not just in south/central Missouri. I'd almost have to say that the portions in northern Arkansas have bode on beauty. Nah, not almost. No doubt about it, and anyone who has ever floated the Buffalo National river will confirm that. I've floated damn near every stream in the Ozarks and it is beyond compare.

[Moving Sale]

Lemme guess: You seek legal advice from Midget Sale too.

Name one legal concept I have ever been wrong about.