So who are the lame reindeer this season??

Mace · Post by **Mace** » Sat Dec 11, 2010 7:25 pm

KCPaul? theJON? Toejam? Kind of hard to distinguish which humorless fucks have the controls this holiday season.

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Sat Dec 11, 2010 7:34 pm

Same trolls as always I suppose but the novelty has worn thin and they don't have as much fresh material to work with. Every angle of every stereotype has been worked and reworked a hundred times by now. Still good for a chuckle now and then as they take potshots from the relative safety of anonymity.

Mace · Post by **Mace** » Sat Dec 11, 2010 7:44 pm

War Wagon wrote:Same trolls as always I suppose but the novelty has worn thin and they don't have as much fresh material to work with. Every angle of every stereotype has been worked and reworked a hundred times by now. Still good for a chuckle now and then as they take potshots from the relative safety of anonymity.

They might be mildly entertaining if they'd actually take a few potshots but, so far, they're an epic fail. I think it's time to hang up the hooves before they end up as deer jerky and sausage.

Get fucked · Post by **Get fucked** » Sat Dec 11, 2010 8:01 pm

Get fucked

Mace · Post by **Mace** » Sat Dec 11, 2010 8:11 pm

Get fucked wrote:Get fucked

And which one of the humorless fucks are you?

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Sat Dec 11, 2010 9:36 pm

off topic, Mace, but you getting snowed on up your way? Heard of blizzard conditions shutting down roads in Minnesota and the Dakotas. Just some flurries here but the wind is ripping. Supposed to drop down to single digit temps overnight. This after it was in the mid-fifties yesterday.

Winter sucks and I am so not ready for this shit.

Derron · Post by **Derron** » Sat Dec 11, 2010 9:43 pm

For the fun of the board and the consternation of the reindeer..here is a deer shooting game...

http://www.versus.com/games/bag-a-monster-buck

Mace · Post by **Mace** » Sat Dec 11, 2010 9:45 pm

They've issued blizzard warnings for southern Iowa but it hasn't arrived yet. They're getting hit hard north of us right now and it's heading our way. We had just a little sprinkling of snow last night but it sounds like we'll have a lot more by morning. I agree, winter sucks dick.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Sat Dec 11, 2010 9:50 pm

War Wagon wrote:Winter sucks

Werd to your mama.

It was cold as all fuck by Wetside U&L standards 2-3 weeks ago... like 18 or some shit (but on the rare occasions it gets that cold here, it's just about always dry).

But we got us a La Nina winter going on.

It's fucking wet.

Fucking poured all day thursday (about 1.5" or so for the day), which got the rivers and streams nice and full, and the soil nice and saturated in preparation for...

Today.

It's just getting started right now. The Pineapple Express is starting to roll (I guess you need scuba gear to go outside in much of Hawaii right now, which is kinda where these storms come from). The Pacific Firehose has been turned on.

I think the river out Derron's way is already starting to flood.

I think I plan on sitting on my ass all day/weekend, since it can be a real bitch to get around town when it's like this -- wherever it is I'm trying to get to, a street will be flooded, or a landslide will be blocking the road.

The big rivers (Willamette, Columbia) won't flood from this, but everything else will. Lots and lots of low-elevation snow (feet and feet), and when the Pineapple Express comes, all of a sudden it's 50+ degrees in the foothills, with 60+ degree rain falling on said low-elevation snow... whole buncha water coming down the vallies in a big hurry.

Flood watch in effect until Monday night.

If another wave of storms comes on top of this one, then we're talking. Could be 1996 all over again, when we pretty much had to shut the city (and much of the state) down -- just can't get around, and it becomes really dangerous to try.

So, in short...

Winter fucking sucks.

Derron · Post by **Derron** » Sat Dec 11, 2010 10:26 pm

Dinsdale wrote:

I think the river out Derron's way is already starting to flood.

The usual pre - season run up. This is out my back door a bit. Looks like another 1 foot 8 inches up or so. My fields will flood, but does not get close to shop like it did in 96 and 07. That was some shit in those floods.

I think I plan on sitting on my ass all day/weekend, since it can be a real bitch to get around town when it's like this -- wherever it is I'm trying to get to, a street will be flooded, or a landslide will be blocking the road.

Werd. Normally bad U & L drivers are worse that fucking Calis in heavy rain. I have tied up 20 steelhead jigs this morning, working on some bass guitar things, sniped at a couple of crows, ( from the cover of the shop of course), keeping my flying skills up on Flight Sim, and going in to lay some floor tile.

If another wave of storms comes on top of this one, then we're talking. Could be 1996 all over again, when we pretty much had to shut the city (and much of the state) down -- just can't get around, and it becomes really dangerous to try.

IF we do not get a follow on douching, we should dodge the major flooding thing ( i.e. 96-07). IF we get dumped on again within 2 to 3 days of this deluge, then things get interesting. The snow pack in the Coast range has been slowly melting in the last weeks rain, versus the 18 inches of snow present in both 96 and 07, with 4 to 11 inches of warm rain in less than 24 hours and it just fucking sent the water down the hills.

Rack seeing multi - million dollar hillside homes flooding and slip sliding away.

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Sat Dec 11, 2010 10:39 pm

Just heard the NY Giants are stranded at KCI because they can't fly into Minneapolis where they play tomorrow.

I live right under the east-west flightpath into KCI and noticed more planes that usual were dropping by today.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Sat Dec 11, 2010 10:46 pm

Derron wrote: The usual pre - season run up.

I'm in St Johns today, and while it started, it hasn't shifted into overdrive yet. Looking at the weather/doppler shit, it's bound to happen soon though.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Sat Dec 11, 2010 10:49 pm

Although I think it's likely I'll reaffirm my U&L Cred by grilling outside later...

if I can get the fucker lit.

Derron · Post by **Derron** » Sat Dec 11, 2010 10:51 pm

Dinsdale wrote:Although I think it's likely I'll reaffirm my U&L Cred by grilling outside later...

if I can get the fucker lit.

Hell yeah...elk burgers tonight !

Truman · Post by **Truman** » Sat Dec 11, 2010 11:13 pm

Dinsdale wrote:Although I think it's likely I'll reaffirm my U&L Cred by grilling outside later...

if I can get the fucker lit.

Rack. That kinda effort will fast earn you honorary Kansas City citizenship. 'Course, such an award means that you'll hafta tard up threads, parrot insults, and defend grabbing other dudes' junk, but I digress...

There is NO such thing as "barbecue season" in the Flyover. Pulled two slabs of world class babybacks, a killer smoked turkey and a championship brisket off the smoker in a foot of snow last Christmas, and we're hoping to do a repeat this year, sans the snow. Barbecue is a Truman clan holiday tradition.

Oh, and a hale and hearty "go fuck yourself" to all you Losers out there that pine for a white Christmas. Two-and-a-half hours in the driveway on a sub-zero Christmas morning is no way to kick off a holiday, despite the bloodys and Bailey's....

Donder · Post by **Donder** » Sat Dec 11, 2010 11:15 pm

Mace wrote:They might be mildly entertaining if they'd actually take a few potshots but, so far, they're an epic fail.

Yeah, all of us deer were just kickin' it around, reminiscing about how funny Mace and Catfish were in 1999.

Cupid's future home.

Yeah, this one really knocked it out of the park. :doh:

Break your hip in a walk to the mailbox, you enfeebled old bitterman.

Bucmonkey · Post by **Bucmonkey** » Sat Dec 11, 2010 11:20 pm

Winter does suck, supposed to rain for a few minutes tomorrow ...

.

Actually, the high on Monday is not supposed to break 50, laugh if you want but this is brutal to us thin-bloods.

Truman · Post by **Truman** » Sat Dec 11, 2010 11:21 pm

War Wagon wrote:Winter sucks and I am so not ready for this shit.

Forty degrees when I hit the Price Chopper early this afternoon; about 10 degrees with minus fuck wind chills when I came out. Fuck. This. Shit. Barren down the hatches, Wags, it looks like it's gonna be a two-dog weekend....

Mace · Post by **Mace** » Sat Dec 11, 2010 11:23 pm

Donder wrote:
Mace wrote:They might be mildly entertaining if they'd actually take a few potshots but, so far, they're an epic fail.
Yeah, all of us deer were just kickin' it around, reminiscing about how funny Mace and Catfish were in 1999.

Cupid's future home.
Yeah, this one really knocked it out of the park. :doh:

Break your hip in a walk to the mailbox, you enfeebled old bitterman.

There's room on the wall for your head too, dumbass, but thanks for the clue.

Derron · Post by **Derron** » Sat Dec 11, 2010 11:25 pm

An example perhaps ?

Truman · Post by **Truman** » Sat Dec 11, 2010 11:28 pm

Donder wrote:
Mace wrote:They might be mildly entertaining if they'd actually take a few potshots but, so far, they're an epic fail.
Yeah, all of us deer were just kickin' it around, reminiscing about how funny Mace and Catfish were in 1999.

Cupid's future home.
Yeah, this one really knocked it out of the park. :doh:

Break your hip in a walk to the mailbox, you enfeebled old bitterman.

Hillarious.

You moribund Losers aren't even qualified to pull Santa's Rascal.

trev · Post by **trev** » Sat Dec 11, 2010 11:43 pm

Sunny and 75 here. I just got done washing my car.

Truman · Post by **Truman** » Sun Dec 12, 2010 1:06 am

Hang tight, Trev. Mace shoulda titled this fucker “The Official Reindeer Call-Out Thread®"

Oh, I had high hopes for this year’s crop of ‘deer: Their opening thread held much promise, as the fuzzy little fuckers started out a house afire with their usual cute li’l song parodies, and their unique brand of merriment and, um gaiety that only the reindeer can bring.

But their run of cowardly posts and Jerry’s Kids-rate brand o’ smack of late have denigrated to dot net-like ankle-bites worthy of the lowest OneBoard troll.

To summarize: These Losers suck out loud. We want our deer back![/teaparty]

But to answer Maces’s original question: Does it really matter?

Cupid is obviously a dude trapped in a chick’s avatar, hence the flurry of purse-swinging and hail of tampons every time he/she/it posts.

Donder is clearly getting long in the tooth, and takes to the protective middle of the herd to keep from being eaten by wolves and T1B posters that regularly rip out his guts.

The rest of you reindeer poseurs are beneath contempt. We’re 10 days deep into the season and nary bugle. Better clear out the barn and move the tractor to the tool shed, Mace, to make room for all the carcasses. Bring it on, you sorry-ass back-straps!

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Sun Dec 12, 2010 1:32 am

Dinsdale wrote:Although I think it's likely I'll reaffirm my U&L Cred by grilling outside later

Game on.

The ECB rides again.

Comet · Post by **Comet** » Sun Dec 12, 2010 2:03 am

You better watch out
You better not cry
Better not pout
If your ass is real dry
The KC Tards are dick grabbing fags

Wags is real slow
Paul types while eating pies
They know what you are,
but then what am I?
KC Tards are dick grabbing fags

Truman will make you sleepy
His thread won't keep you awake
Missouri was Confederate
Ten posts to that point to make
KC Tards are dick grabbing fags

O! You better watch out!
If your a big guy
KC Scott will buy you beers
I'm telling you why
KC Tards are dick grabbing fags

The KC Tards are dick grabbing fags

Truman · Post by **Truman** » Sun Dec 12, 2010 2:20 am

Comet wrote:

Dude....

Carson · Post by **Carson** » Sun Dec 12, 2010 2:23 am

As with many famous writers and poets, the reindeers' alcoholism and latent homosexuality have reduced them to pathetic hacks.

Comet = Dylan Thomas

Plato = Truman Capote

Terry in Crapchester · Sun Dec 12, 2010 2:36 am

Speaking of weather . . .

Here in the land of the ice and snow (apologies to Led Zeppelin), it's been pretty mild, relatively speaking. Yeah, we got snow every day from December 1 to December 9, but pretty much only a dusting each day, less than a foot in toto. Today the temperature got into the 40's, which is a veritable heatwave pretty much anytime between November 1 and April 30. We're supposed to be paying for it tomorrow, though, as the snow storm currenly in the midwest heads our way.

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Sun Dec 12, 2010 2:42 am

Truman wrote: Forty degrees when I hit the Price Chopper early this afternoon; about 10 degrees with minus fuck wind chills when I came out. Fuck. This. Shit. Barren down the hatches, Wags, it looks like it's gonna be a two-dog weekend....

Hatches down, kerosene heater up, one fat ass German Shepard mutt of a dog will have to suffice.

Dancer · Post by **Dancer** » Sun Dec 12, 2010 2:48 am

RACK Comet!

Truman wrote:But their run of cowardly posts

Why not post a dozen or more dead deer pics, hickseed? That'll get us. :D

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Sun Dec 12, 2010 2:51 am

Terry in Crapchester wrote:Speaking of weather . . .

Here in the land of the ice and snow (apologies to Led Zeppelin), it's been pretty mild, relatively speaking. Yeah, we got snow every day from December 1 to December 9, but pretty much only a dusting each day, less than a foot in toto. Today the temperature got into the 40's, which is a veritable heatwave pretty much anytime between November 1 and April 30. We're supposed to be paying for it tomorrow, though, as the snow storm currenly in the midwest heads our way.

and once it picks up steam over the Great Lakes, you will get hammered.

Truman · Post by **Truman** » Sun Dec 12, 2010 3:26 am

Dancer wrote:RACK Comet!

For only losing his hindquarters in the wake of a semi?! You fuzzy little fuckers sure entertain easily...

Dancer wrote:Why not post a dozen or more dead deer pics, hickseed? That'll get us. :D

Kinda my point, Furbag. You backward-ass antler-fucks have already puked up a dozen or more dead deer posts, you fucking Loser. And NOBODY gets you. You trolls blow goats this year.

Donder · Post by **Donder** » Sun Dec 12, 2010 11:01 am

R-Jack wrote:

Cuda wrote:

Martyred wrote:~tears~

Raydah James wrote:

Truman wrote:BTW, verruh nice crop o' reindeer this year.

Cuda wrote:RACK! Blitzen

Screw_Michigan wrote:Rrrrack.

L-R, Mace, Truman

Truman · Post by **Truman** » Sun Dec 12, 2010 4:10 pm

Truman wrote:...Donder is clearly getting long in the tooth, and takes to the protective middle of the herd to keep from being eaten by wolves and T1B posters that regularly rip out his guts.

Donder wrote:

L-R, Mace, Truman

Who knew the reindeer were from Kansas City?

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Sun Dec 12, 2010 6:47 pm

Speaking of weather...

Our low temp last night was 58. It's now over 60.

Pineapple Express does have one redeeming quality, I guess.

Moving Sale · Post by **Moving Sale** » Sun Dec 12, 2010 7:15 pm

Dinsdale wrote: I guess.

Just about everything you do is a guess if your actual life has any resemblance to what you type about it here.

Truman · Post by **Truman** » Sun Dec 12, 2010 11:33 pm

You sand-bagging yet, Dins? The local fishwrap this morning suggested flooding might be of a threat in your parts....

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Mon Dec 13, 2010 12:30 am

The weatherdorks' bark is worse than the Pacific's bite, so far.

The coast is getting whacked, as per usualm this time of year. The small streams that frequently flood are flooding, coming as a surprise to no one.

They keep warning me about all these heavy rains coming, which I really appreciate, since without the heads-up, I wouldn't have noticed.

They rescued a sea lion that was bumping on down US101 earlier -- that was kind of humorous -- not nearly as humorous as if when they returned it to the drink, an orca/great white immediately made it lunch, but still pretty humorous.

Mikey · Post by **Mikey** » Mon Dec 13, 2010 1:07 am

It was supposed to top out at 87 here today. I don't think it got higher than 81 or 82.

:(

Derron · Post by **Derron** » Mon Dec 13, 2010 1:13 am

Dinsdale wrote:

They rescued a sea lion that was bumping on down US101 earlier -- that was kind of humorous -- not nearly as humorous as if when they returned it to the drink, an orca/great white immediately made it lunch, but still pretty humorous.

Or the picture of the sea lion that had a nice undersized sturgeon in its jaws yesterday. Contributing to a further lowering of the sturgeon catch quotas next year by 30%. Just something wrong about a SEA fucking lion being 130 miles up a freshwater river and eating game fish. Better to be a target for my AR platform next time.

And the weather dicks get excited about a little rain / minor flooding around here...because...well there is really nothing else newsworthy for them to cream their jeans over. Look for the new reporters to start their sight gags on tomorrows news..you know like being drenched because they be too fuckin stupid to wear a hood/ hat / umbrella or wading ankle deep in a flooded street proclaiming the Rapture is coming.

Most likley NW U & L here will come through this rain event fine..because it happens damn near every year anyway..