World's Worst Beer

Screw_Michigan · Post by **Screw_Michigan** » Mon Jan 03, 2011 1:25 am

God, this shit just fucking sucks and it never gets better, no matter how many of them I drink in a given night. God damn it, pops.

Wolfman · Post by **Wolfman** » Mon Jan 03, 2011 1:59 am

It's only January 2nd and we already have a new good/bad beer thread. Not in.

TheJON · Post by **TheJON** » Mon Jan 03, 2011 2:11 am

Bud Light. Nuff said.

Screw_Michigan · Post by **Screw_Michigan** » Mon Jan 03, 2011 2:17 am

TheJON wrote:Bud Light. Nuff said.

Second worst.

TheJON · Post by **TheJON** » Mon Jan 03, 2011 2:22 am

Screw_Michigan wrote:
TheJON wrote:Bud Light. Nuff said.
Second worst.

Busch Light just tastes like water. Bud Light tastes like toilet water (or what I would expect toilet water to taste like).

I had no problems drinking Busch Light in college, but I could never drink Bud Light.

Trampis · Post by **Trampis** » Mon Jan 03, 2011 2:30 am

Wrong!

The light water beer family of Busch,Bud,Coors,Miller and Natty are one and the same. Just choose the one thats the cheapest which is Natty light and enjoy the predictable buzz. Not too fast like IPA's or Winterfest beer, but just right for pounding a few or 6 during a 3 hour game whilst munching salty snacks.

To choose amongst this family and expect anything more then a cheap buzz with a relatively painless hangover is really like buying a 4cylinder Ford Ranger and expecting it to pull a fifthwheel. Its just not made for it folks.

mvscal · Post by **mvscal** » Mon Jan 03, 2011 2:34 am

Artless and utterly horrific. It might as well be made from the squeezings of AP's slop towel after making the midnight bedpan rounds at the old folk's home.

Or maybe it was...

Trampis · Post by **Trampis** » Mon Jan 03, 2011 2:50 am

Jsc810 wrote:All beer is nasty.

You like it? Great, glad you do. I don't.

Well, a man in your condition really shouldnt be drinking anyways. Thanks for sacrificeing yourself for the rest of us silverfox.

Dr_Phibes · Post by **Dr_Phibes** » Mon Jan 03, 2011 3:17 am

Courage Directors is decent but like all Courage beers, suffers badly when not kept properly. I can think of no other beer that deteriorates so much at the hands of poor tap hygiene. The same with Smithwicks, it's either the best or worst thing you could have.

So, shit beer paradox.

The Seer · Post by **The Seer** » Mon Jan 03, 2011 3:45 am

Screw_Michigan wrote: God damn it, pops.

Free beer is NEVER bad.

Screw_Michigan · Post by **Screw_Michigan** » Mon Jan 03, 2011 3:48 am

I know, I know.

R-Jack · Post by **R-Jack** » Mon Jan 03, 2011 3:52 am

mvscal wrote:

Artless and utterly horrific. It might as well be made from the squeezings of AP's slop towel after making the midnight bedpan rounds at the old folk's home.

Or maybe it was...

Might not be the worst, but easily the most overrated. It falls so short of its hype, you would think Jerry Jones owns it.

Has anyone actually tasted Trader Joes beer version of 2buck Chuck.

Just.
Fucking.
Terrible.

The $2.99 for the six pack would be better spent on Tums and Advil. You're going to need those if you drink that shitswill.

Screw_Michigan · Post by **Screw_Michigan** » Mon Jan 03, 2011 3:56 am

^^^ Yes. I bought some of that shit and barely made it through half a can. My apologies to Busch Light. Simpler Times is easily the most disgusting shit. I gave the rest of my beers to the local crackheads. I wonder if they drank it...

R-Jack · Post by **R-Jack** » Mon Jan 03, 2011 4:15 am

Screw_Michigan wrote:^^^ Yes. I bought some of that shit and barely made it through half a can. My apologies to Busch Light. Simpler Times is easily the most disgusting shit. I gave the rest of my beers to the local crackheads. I wonder if they drank it...

Admit it. You bought it knowing it wasn't going to be good, but figured the 6.2% ABV for 3 bucks was enough to balance it out.

I never had such low expectations for a beer, and have it still fall well short.

Screw_Michigan · Post by **Screw_Michigan** » Mon Jan 03, 2011 4:17 am

R-Jack wrote:Admit it. You bought it knowing it wasn't going to be good, but figured the 6.2% ABV for 3 bucks was enough to balance it out.

Of course I did.

Terry in Crapchester · Mon Jan 03, 2011 7:12 am

Wolfie's beer of choice has to rank on the short list as well.

My dad used to buy it. I think it was because he knew none of his kids would drink it. Either that, or I think they used to pay him to take it off their hands.

Truman · Post by **Truman** » Mon Jan 03, 2011 4:53 pm

No.

Never again.

Tastes like it's brewed in a tin kettle full of Red Army socks.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Mon Jan 03, 2011 6:47 pm

mvscal wrote:

Artless and utterly horrific. It might as well be made from the squeezings of AP's slop towel after making the midnight bedpan rounds at the old folk's home.

Or maybe it was...

2nd.

"Artless" is a wonderful descriptor for that shit.

If they spent as much effort on making decent beeras they did marketing that swill to wannabe pinky-wavers, they might be on to something.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Mon Jan 03, 2011 7:18 pm

Had some young'uns around last summer who used to hand me cans of Steel Reserve.

Apart from the horrific taste, the even worse aftertaste, the vomiting, the uncontrollable shitting, the hangover, and the suicidal urges that follow the consumption of it...

it really isn't all that good.

And Olympia -- what do you expect from a beer that wishes you "Good Luck" right on the freaking label? And the thing is, since they moved out of Tumwater, I think it actually got worse.

indyfrisco · Post by **indyfrisco** » Mon Jan 03, 2011 7:32 pm

I drank a lot of Old Milwaukee tallboys in college. Could get a 6 pack of them for $3.50. Went back to A&M about 3 years ago for a game and decided to pick up a 6er of the Old Milwaukee "for old times sake". Oh my was it bad...

I rarely drink beer. When I do, it is usually something someone gives me, and around here that is one of the standard light beers. While I won't say they are undrinkable (because they really are like some kind of flavored water), I can't drink more than 2-3 of them. When I am the designated driver, I will usually drink a few Sam Adams since it is available at most bars round here, and "the drunk" doesn't sneak up on you like having cocktails. Of course, I'm usually the first one to have to sneak off to take a piss when the conversation comes up as to who is going to be the DD that night (yeah, I'm THAT guy). Luckily, I got a couple friends who don't like to drink much who always volunteer.

R-Jack · Post by **R-Jack** » Mon Jan 03, 2011 8:16 pm

Disagree.

That big mouth made for chugging with no regard for taste. Plus you are trying to equate malt liqour with beer. You buy malt knowing what you are getting yourself into. It's supposed to be horrible and the goal is to get it into and out of your body as quickly as possible.

Take the Simpler Times challange. I dare you.

Mikey · Post by **Mikey** » Mon Jan 03, 2011 8:32 pm

KC Scott wrote:For Xmas we ended up with TWO of the Beers of the World gift packs.

This would be great except I don't drink beer, I drink Scotch or Irish Whiskey. If there's no Scotch... Bourbon if there's no Bourbon I'll just ask what kind of fucking house has no whiskey whatsoever. OKay, I will drink a Newcastle once in a while.

Anyway - I have 20 cans and bottles of this sitting in the rec room fridge if anyone has heard of any of them

I see Spaten lager there, which is a good German beer. Also Carlsberg Elephant, which I haven't had for 25 years or so but I thought it was good way back when.

Cueball · Post by **Cueball** » Mon Jan 03, 2011 10:28 pm

College light beers aside, I'm not a fan of Hefeweizens in general. Of course, the only true worst beer is the last one from the case

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Tue Jan 04, 2011 1:05 am

The worst beer I ever had, and it ain't even close was a Stella, brewed in Egypt, which kind of reinforces Tod's point about potable water being pretty much necessary for decent beer. Gawd was it bad. I recently had another stella on tap in a local bar, brewed (I assume) in belgium or some other place where civilized white folks have figured out how not to completely ruin the local aquafirs. It was very good.

My honorable mention list for undrinkable stuff is:

Schaeffer. Anyone remember the jingle? Shaeffer is the one beer to have when yer havin' more than one! Uhhh, no. It's not. It is teh suck. But, when you are a poor college kid looking to drink more than one of somethin', 5.99 a CASE Schaeffer long necks fit the bill.

Busch. Head for the mountains? How 'bout head for the toilet. Awful. I assume busch light is awful watered down, which still = awful.

Schlitz. Another old school brew. I actually liked the first swig I ever took of this stuff. Then the mother of all horrific after tastes kicked in. Almost suicide inducing.

Guiness Stout. Sorry, guiness snobs. I just can't get that fukking tar down. I have tried. I have gotten fallen down drunk and figured, maybe now I can do it. Nope. Not happening. I guess I'm just a wussy beer fag. Maybe next time I'll try it room temp. I seem to remember hearing that it's the proper way to drink it. Actually, do you drink stout? I think maybe you chew it.

Left Seater · Post by **Left Seater** » Tue Jan 04, 2011 2:14 am

They are all pretty bad in my book.

The last time I ordered a beer of my own doing was at a bar in Norman with some posters from this board. When in Rome...

Even in college I didnt get the beer thing. Sure you could get cheap beer, but you could also get cheap vodka.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Tue Jan 04, 2011 2:21 am

sorry, but cheap beer is no where near as wretched as cheap vodka.

indyfrisco · Post by **indyfrisco** » Tue Jan 04, 2011 2:57 am

smackaholic wrote:sorry, but cheap beer is no where near as wretched as cheap vodka.

Straight up you are correct, but there are plenty mixers for vodka that make cheap vodka doable. Tonic being my choice. I go well vodka when I want to mix it because you can't taste it anyway. Now, straight up vodka I go with ketel one.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Tue Jan 04, 2011 3:20 am

Have I not told you guys the secret of cheap vodka (which I learned not too long ago, and had to see it to believe it)?

Get a Brita pitcher-style water filter filter with a brand new filter in it.

Pour your swill vodke through it. When it's filtered, repeat. Then repeat a third time.

You ain't drinking top-shelf or anything, but it does make a notable difference.

Rack Fu · Post by **Rack Fu** » Tue Jan 04, 2011 3:30 am

The three beers I wouldn't even drink in college were Golden Anniversary, Utica Club and Old Milwaukee.

Mace · Post by **Mace** » Tue Jan 04, 2011 4:19 am

Hamm's beer might be the worst I've had....or Grainbelt. Bad stuff.

Old Milwaukee was all I could afford to drink in college. It was 89 cents a six (the old short bottles) and regularly on sale for 79 cents.

Screw_Michigan · Post by **Screw_Michigan** » Tue Jan 04, 2011 4:55 am

Rack Fu wrote:The three beers I wouldn't even drink in college were Golden Anniversary, Utica Club and Old Milwaukee.

I drank some Carling Black Label at a U-M party in 2001. I vowed never to drink that shit again.

Bud Ice is pretty fucking disgusting too. Drank too much of that shit before I realized how bad it was.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Tue Jan 04, 2011 5:03 am

Back in the day, me and a buddy drank a 30 pack of this shit at room temperature. Every sip was pure agony.

Go Coogs' · Post by **Go Coogs'** » Tue Jan 04, 2011 5:14 am

Fucking god awful. If I knew what piss mixed with semen (sup JON) tasted like, then I'd imagine it tastes just like Heineken.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Tue Jan 04, 2011 3:02 pm

Go Coogs' wrote:

Fucking god awful. If I knew what piss mixed with semen (sup JON) tasted like, then I'd imagine it tastes just like Heineken.

not the worst tasting swill in the world, but, easily the most over rated. If I want skunk water, i'll just leave a case of the beast in my trunk for a few months.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Tue Jan 04, 2011 3:05 pm

IndyFrisco wrote:
smackaholic wrote:sorry, but cheap beer is no where near as wretched as cheap vodka.
Straight up you are correct, but there are plenty mixers for vodka that make cheap vodka doable. Tonic being my choice. I go well vodka when I want to mix it because you can't taste it anyway. Now, straight up vodka I go with ketel one.

good point.

black label just gets worse, the more cranberry juice you add. with ya on the ketel one as well. there is not a better drink out there than a triple shot of K1 a twist of lime or two and maybe a splash of tonic. it is heaven.

Cueball · Post by **Cueball** » Tue Jan 04, 2011 4:07 pm

If we are going the vodka route, a great affordable one is Vikingfjord.

ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2 · Tue Jan 04, 2011 4:50 pm

smackaholic wrote:black label just gets worse, the more cranberry juice you add. with ya on the ketel one as well. there is not a better drink out there than a triple shot of K1 a twist of lime or two and maybe a splash of tonic. it is heaven.

Good Lord... are you trying to get Diopolitan back here, or what?

!!!

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Tue Jan 04, 2011 5:35 pm

not a fan of vodka and cranberry juice?

what's wrong, is it officially gax?

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Tue Jan 04, 2011 5:55 pm

smackaholic wrote:not a fan of vodka and cranberry juice?

what's wrong, is it officially gax?

Speak up. Nobody can hear you with that cock in your mouth.

TheJON · Post by **TheJON** » Wed Jan 05, 2011 12:17 am

smackaholic wrote:not a fan of vodka and cranberry juice?

what's wrong, is it officially gax?

I cannot drink any fruity drink. Shit is nasty. Give me a beer or 8. Maybe a jack and coke once in a while. But keep the fruit crap away from me. I haven't even pretended to like those type of drinks since the days of going out to actually meet women.