Ashes to Asses, Dust to Dolts
MIAMI — Burglars snorted the cremated remains of a man and two dogs in the mistaken belief that they had stolen illegal drugs, Florida sheriff's deputies said Wednesday.
..The ashes were taken from a woman's home in the central Florida town of Silver Springs Shores on Dec. 15. The thieves took an urn containing the ashes of her father and another container with the ashes of her two Great Danes, along with electronic equipment and jewelry, the Marion County Sheriff's Office said.
Investigators learned what happened to the ashes after they arrested five teens in connection with another burglary attempt at a nearby home last week.
"The suspects mistook the ashes for either cocaine or heroin. It was soon discovered that the suspects snorted some of the ashes believing they were snorting cocaine," the sheriff's report said.
Once they realized their error, the suspects discussed returning the remaining ashes but threw them in a lake instead because they thought their fingerprints were on the containers, sheriff's spokesman Judge Cochran said.
Police divers were trying to recover the ashes. The suspects were jailed on numerous charges of burglary and other crimes.
Who needs to confess?
Moderator: Jesus H Christ
Who needs to confess?
Somebody has a cold nose and a warm heart....and shit for brains.
- Atomic Punk
- antagonist
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Re: Who needs to confess?
Hmmm... I wonder if they were Blacks. I say buy cheap fold-up poker tables to mimic yard sales. Just put out some used kids clothing, towels and have cups of flour with rat poison mixed in with a non-English speaker monitoring each yard sale to look legit. Maybe the non-English speakers can wear those Peruvian hats to bait "them" in.
BSmack wrote:Best. AP take. Ever.
Seriously. I don't disagree with a word of it.
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- Eternal Scobode
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Re: Who needs to confess?
Ashes. They sharpen you up and get you ready for a bit of the old ultra violence.
Re: Who needs to confess?
I'm sitting in the Korova Milkbar trying to make up my rassoodock whether to RACK this or not.MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:Ashes. They sharpen you up and get you ready for a bit of the old ultra violence.
I got 99 problems but the 'vid ain't one
Re: Who needs to confess?
Rack 'em all.


Re: Who needs to confess?
Always pondered the origin of your moniker, vel.
Now we know. "A Clockwork Orange"? Racks abound. Choice decision upon your part, mensch.
BTW, a "velocet" post is infinitely far easier to rack than one by a "moloko". 'sayin.
Now we know. "A Clockwork Orange"? Racks abound. Choice decision upon your part, mensch.
BTW, a "velocet" post is infinitely far easier to rack than one by a "moloko". 'sayin.
Journalism Scholar Emeritus Screw_Marcus wrote:Oh OK, so what's legal and what's not determines if something is right or not?
- Bizzarofelice
- I wanna be a bear
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Re: Who needs to confess?
just before snorting, they burglars waited for the rockinest part of Sister Christian


why is my neighborhood on fire