Who has two thumbs and owns page one?

[Bizzarofelice]

Atomic Punk. That guy is the engine for this place. His exploits bring us all back.

[Goober McTuber]

Who has two thumbs and they're both up his ass?

[Mikey]

Sometimes, I may well be the only fucker that understands you. Props for making me giggle like a young girl's umbilical cord.

Don't flatter yourself.

[Truman]

Who owns Page One?

:?

Perceived Value, Biz.

The homeless own shopping carts. The Republicans own the House. And Marty owns Canada.

Relatively unconvinced that anyone in this shithole would cross the street to pick up any of that shit if they saw it just lyin’ around on the ground.

Hell, we mighta even have just given it to you if you had just asked….

Spend wisely, Amigo.

[Goober McTuber]

Sometimes, I may well be the only fucker that understands you. Props for making me giggle like a young girl's umbilical cord.

Don't flatter yourself.

Hey, it's a dirty job, but somebody's gotta do it.

[Goober McTuber]

Don't flatter yourself.

Hey, it's a dirty job, but somebody's gotta do it.

I am a dirty job. But hey - you two guys are more than old enough to understand that.

Thanks for reminding me, Willie. I keep forgetting that I’m a full SEVEN years older than you. And 200 lbs lighter. And much better looking. Thanks, man.

[Mikey]

I've decided to regress. I'll be turning 49 this year and counting backwards.

[ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2]

Sometimes, I may well be the only fucker that understands you. Props for making me giggle like a young girl's umbilical cord.

Don't flatten me.

FIXED.

[Truman]

I've decided to regress. I'll be turning 49 this year and counting backwards.

Now THERE's a thought.

I've been celebrating Anniversarys of my 29th birthday for at least 10 years and number 20 looms this May. Less math your way....

[Goober McTuber]

Unfortunately for you, tubby, I weigh 175. I'm shocked that you fessed up to 280.

[Goober McTuber]

Unfortunately for you, tubby, I weigh 175. I'm shocked that you fessed up to 280.

Your fucking crutches are 80 of that! Actually - I was 285 this morning. Made it down to 270 pre-holidays. Still better than the 325 that I was at a few years ago.

285?!? I’d be embarrassed to leave the house. Do you have to ride around on one of those little scooters because you’re too fat to walk more than three steps at a time? No wonder your wife left you, she was afraid you’d roll over in your sleep and crush her. She was Lady Fuckafold.