We're all trolls.

Cuda · Post by **Cuda** » Fri Feb 25, 2011 8:38 pm

did we get racked?

if not, then fuck that asshole

Trampis · Post by **Trampis** » Fri Feb 25, 2011 9:48 pm

Best rant ever.

Charlie Sheen's Rant: Talks Addiction To Winning, Sex Goddesses, Poetry In His Fingertips
First Posted: 02/24/11 06:41 PM Updated: 02/25/11 09:18 AM

The hard-partying actor phoned into Alex Jones's radio show on Thursday and unleashed a fury of rhetorical bullets from another dimension on the media, his co-workers, critics, Alcoholics Anonymous and pretty much anyone that doesn't spend time doing cocaine and/or having sex with him.

First of all, know that he's pure awesome, all the time. And he's glad friend Lenny "Nails" Dykstra told the world.

"I think it was Nails that said, and I was really flattered that he got it right, he might be Nails, but I'm bayonets. I'm battle tested bayonets... I'm so tired of pretending like my life isn't just perfect and just winning every second, and I'm not just perfect and bi**hing and just delivering the goods at every frickin' turn. Look what I'm dealing with, man. I'm dealing with fools and trolls. I'm dealing with soft targets, and it's just strafing runs in my underwear before my first cup of coffee ... they lay down with their ugly wives and their ugly children and just look at their loser lives and then they look at me and say, 'I can't process it.' Well, no, and you never will! Stop trying! Just sit back and enjoy the show."
He opens up about the women he's been living with -- his so called "porn family."

"Let me say this about the Goddesses, I don't think the term is good enough, but when you're bound by these terrestrial descriptions, you must use the best term available. So if you think about it dude, I'm 0-for-3 in marriage, but like in baseball, the scoreboard doesn't lie. Never has. So what we all have is a marriage of the hearts. And to sully, contaminate, or radically disrespect this unit with a shameful contract is something I'll leave to the amateurs and bible grippers."
Then, talk about his ex-wife Brooke Mueller and the vacation he was taking with her and two other women:

"And I just gotta add this, there was a whole firestorm about Brooke being a part of our crew... Where there were four, there are now three. Good-bye, Brooke, and good luck in your travels; you're going to need it. Badly ... She's not there now and we are and I don't know, winning, anyone? Rhymes with winning? Anyone? Yeah, that would be us. Sorry man, didn't make the rules. Oops."
On his recovery -- which he is entirely responsible for himself:

"I have cleansed myself. I closed my eyes and in a nanosecond, I cured myself... It's the work of sissies. The only thing I'm addicted to is winning. This bootleg cult, arrogantly referred to as Alcoholics Anonymous, reports a 5 percent success rate. My success rate is 100 percent. Do the math ... another one of their mottoes is 'Don't be special, be one of us.' Newsflash: I am special, and I will never be one of you! I have a disease? Bulls**t! I cured it with my brain, with my mind. I cured it, I'm done ... you don't look like you're having a lot of fun. I'm gonna hang out with these two smoking hotties and fly privately around the world. It might be lonely up here but I sure like the view, Alex!"
On not being pushed around anymore:

"I'm sorry, man, but I've got magic. I've got poetry in my fingertips. Most of the time -- and this includes naps -- I'm an F-18, bro. And I will destroy you in the air. I will deploy my ordinance to the ground."

And his lovely take on the hard working media, who Alex Jones says alleged that both he and Sheen worked for the Vatican as assassins:

"Guys, it's right there in the thing, duh! We work for the Pope, we murder people. We're Vatican assassins. How complicated can it be? What they're not ready for is guys like you and I and Nails and all the other gnarly gnarlingtons in my life, that we are high priests, Vatican assassin warlocks. Boom. Print that, people. See where that goes."

Awesome :twisted:

pron · Post by **pron** » Fri Feb 25, 2011 9:51 pm

RACK the guy for living the dream.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Fri Feb 25, 2011 11:19 pm

He makes Tiger Woods look like Jess the Rookie.

Mace · Post by **Mace** » Sat Feb 26, 2011 1:19 am

Goober McTuber wrote:He makes Tiger Woods look like Jess the Rookie.

Rack! That's no shit.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Sat Feb 26, 2011 1:24 am

He should just get it over with, and marry Lindsay Lohan.

BarFlie · Post by **BarFlie** » Sat Feb 26, 2011 2:28 am

I'm gonna let it all slide cuz he got fucked up in the nam.

poptart · Post by **poptart** » Sat Feb 26, 2011 9:44 am

Sat and listened to Charlie's 45 minute interview with A. Jones and must say, it sounded like a 45 minute smackoff call.

Dude's got huge amounts of who knows what coarsing through his veins, and I DO feel a bit sorry for him, but his rant/interview was fuckin' hilarious.

RACK!

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Sat Feb 26, 2011 12:00 pm

On the one hand, dude is fukked up. He is a ticking time bomb and I think I'll take him for the '12 DP along with what'shisface's bulldog. on the other hand, who here wouldn't wanna be him for maybe a weekend or two.

Oh, and he's spot fukking on about AA and other druggie groups. fukkers have circle jerks where they pat each other on the back for not going out and getting molared that day despite their "disease". good for you a-hole. neither did the rest of us. well, actually, the rest of us do to, every now and then. difference is we get up the following day and go to work.

And mods, could i please have my avatard title changed to gnarly gnarlington?

mvscal · Post by **mvscal** » Sat Feb 26, 2011 12:08 pm

smackaholic wrote:who here wouldn't wanna be him for maybe a weekend or two.

No interest in cocaine or hookers whatsoever. Sheen is a complete, total and pathetic loser in every meaningful aspect of life.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Sat Feb 26, 2011 12:14 pm

mvscal wrote:
smackaholic wrote:who here wouldn't wanna be him for maybe a weekend or two.

No interest in cocaine or hookers whatsoever. Sheen is a complete, total and pathetic loser in every meaningful aspect of life.

garden variety cocaine using hookers? me neither. but dude is apparently hanging with major leaguers whom, i think most of us heterosexuals might find amusement in for a little while, anyway.

gotta agree about the coke binging part though, especially when it results in emergency ambulance rides to have your "hernia" looked at.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Sat Feb 26, 2011 3:50 pm

smackaholic wrote:And mods, could i please have my avatard title changed to gnarly gnarlington?

Get rid of that stupid fucking avatar, and you've got a deal.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Sat Feb 26, 2011 4:20 pm

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:
smackaholic wrote:And mods, could i please have my avatard title changed to gnarly gnarlington?
Get rid of that stupid fucking avatar, and you've got a deal.

OK. gimme the charlie pic of your choice. should be some good ones out there.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Sat Feb 26, 2011 5:12 pm

mvscal wrote:Sheen is a complete, total and pathetic loser in every meaningful aspect of life.

Depends on the definition of "meaningful," I suppose.

Dude rakes in around $50 mil a year, so in that aspect, the word "loser" might not be accurate.

indyfrisco · Post by **indyfrisco** » Sun Feb 27, 2011 11:39 am

mvscal wrote:No interest in cocaine or hookers whatsoever.

Wasn't it you who said something in the nature of "WAR Asian sex slaves" when someone mentioned Vegas???

R-Jack · Post by **R-Jack** » Sun Feb 27, 2011 2:49 pm

IndyFrisco wrote:
mvscal wrote:No interest in cocaine or hookers whatsoever.
Wasn't it you who said something in the nature of "WAR Asian sex slaves" when someone mentioned Vegas???

He doesn't dig nose candy and hookers. Guy has a rager for slaves. That's all.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Sun Feb 27, 2011 5:52 pm

hookers

In the words of Charlie Sheen, you're just paying for them to leave.

T1B

We're all trolls.

Re: We're all trolls.

Re: We're all trolls.

Re: We're all trolls.

Re: We're all trolls.

Re: We're all trolls.

Re: We're all trolls.

Re: We're all trolls.

Re: We're all trolls.

Re: We're all trolls.

Re: We're all trolls.

Re: We're all trolls.

Re: We're all trolls.

Re: We're all trolls.

Re: We're all trolls.

Re: We're all trolls.

Re: We're all trolls.

Re: We're all trolls.