Crackin' skulls

indyfrisco · Post by **indyfrisco** » Fri Jul 08, 2011 8:07 pm

Poor kid...

And now Josh Hamilton has a get out of jail free card to go on a coke and jack daniels bender.

Moby Dick · Post by **Moby Dick** » Fri Jul 08, 2011 8:50 pm

heard about this on the way to work today...

man i couldn't imagine what the 6 yr old is going thru...

nolan ryan told the widow that she and her son basically has free therapy from here on out. YA THINK?

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Fri Jul 08, 2011 8:56 pm

Now that's some pure, 100 %, uncut Chuck D action...

Screw_Michigan · Post by **Screw_Michigan** » Fri Jul 08, 2011 9:00 pm

The ball isn't worth it, folks.

OCmike · Post by **OCmike** » Fri Jul 08, 2011 9:12 pm

I don't get the frantic dives for foul balls and it seems like it's happening more frequently. A co-worker gave me his tickets to an A's game earlier this year and some douche in the front row leaned over the two front rows and did a small jump across the seats while he had a fucking infant on his chest in a Baby Bjorn. Put your boner away and read it again, Diego. Anyway, the kid got squished between his old man's torso and the backs of the front row seats and when the kid starts screaming, the Dad pats it on the head and laughs like, "I know it hurts, but when you're older, you'll understand why it was so important for me to dive for a meaningless routine foul $15 baseball."

poptart · Post by **poptart** » Sat Jul 09, 2011 1:21 am

What a marvelous age we live in, when a fella's death can be posted on YouTube ---> to become comedic fodder for a gang of message board monkeys.

Be simply wonderful if Vogel can take a hint.

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Sat Jul 09, 2011 1:25 am

poptart wrote:What a marvelous age we live in, when a fella's death can be posted on YouTube ---> to become comedic fodder for a gang of message board monkeys.

You would have been first in line to "BWAHAHA!" if it was a bruthah and not some popped-collar, douche-bag, Jimmy Medalions-lookin' frat boy, as it turns out.

mvscal · Post by **mvscal** » Sat Jul 09, 2011 1:28 am

poptart wrote:What a marvelous age we live in, when a fella's death can be posted on YouTube ---> to become comedic fodder for a gang of message board monkeys.

Isn't it, though? Personally I can't think of anything funnier than people who kill themselves doing something stupid.

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Sat Jul 09, 2011 6:06 am

mvscal wrote:
poptart wrote:What a marvelous age we live in, when a fella's death can be posted on YouTube ---> to become comedic fodder for a gang of message board monkeys.

Isn't it, though? Personally I can't think of anything funnier than people who kill themselves doing something stupid.

I'm sure his family is all atwitter with laughter.

mvscal · Post by **mvscal** » Sat Jul 09, 2011 9:02 am

BSmack wrote:
mvscal wrote:
poptart wrote:What a marvelous age we live in, when a fella's death can be posted on YouTube ---> to become comedic fodder for a gang of message board monkeys.

Isn't it, though? Personally I can't think of anything funnier than people who kill themselves doing something stupid.
I'm sure his family is all atwitter with laughter.

Who gives a fuck?

Stupid is supposed to hurt. His useless death is confirmation of the natural order.

poptart · Post by **poptart** » Sat Jul 09, 2011 9:20 am

BSmack wrote:his family is all atwitter

Don't doubt it.

Wife was prolly tweetin' about the insurance settlement, a lawsuit... and that cute UPS driver - while kiddo was tweetin' proudly about how hero dad "kept his head down and MADE the play."

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Sat Jul 09, 2011 5:58 pm

mvscal wrote:Who gives a fuck? Stupid is supposed to hurt. His useless death is confirmation of the natural order.

Only you could find humor in a 6 year old child screaming for his dying father.

mvscal · Post by **mvscal** » Sun Jul 10, 2011 12:12 am

Well the kid is at least 50% idiot, so I've got my fingers crossed for further entertainment opportunities.

C'mon now. Tell me this isn't funny:

Fargo man beheaded by Fourth of July firework

'He lit it and all we saw was a cloud of smoke, a bang. When I walked up to his body, it was nothing but his shoulders down'

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/43653900/ns/us_news-life/

!!!BOOM!!!

Daddy? Daddy get up. Where did Daddy's head go!! WAAAAAAHHHH!!!

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Sun Jul 10, 2011 12:54 am

So you've never done anything in life that was dangerous or potentially harmful in any way? Have you even been behind the wheel after a couple drinks? If your kid gets his/her head blown off from a firework, your sides are splitting in laughter because "stupid is supposed to hurt?" Right. I'm sure.

mvscal · Post by **mvscal** » Sun Jul 10, 2011 1:10 am

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:So you've never done anything in life that was dangerous or potentially harmful in any way?

Other than going to war? No, not really. I'll take risks if I have to but not for fun and excitement and certainly not for a worthless baseball.

If your kid gets his/her head blown off from a firework, your sides are splitting in laughter because "stupid is supposed to hurt?"

My kid isn't stupid. See how that works?

Dr_Phibes · Post by **Dr_Phibes** » Sun Jul 10, 2011 1:28 am

I thought that guy who got shot at the holocaust museum was funny :|

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Sun Jul 10, 2011 1:43 am

mvscal wrote:My kid isn't stupid. See how that works?

OK, I know you might well have named your half beaner spawn Jesus. But he's not PERFECT.

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Sun Jul 10, 2011 2:46 am

The herd has has been culled, people.

Much like Jesus, this man died for our entertainment value.

mvscal · Post by **mvscal** » Sun Jul 10, 2011 2:58 am

BSmack wrote:
mvscal wrote:My kid isn't stupid. See how that works?
OK, I know you might well have named your half beaner spawn Jesus. But he's not PERFECT.

Perfection is hardly required to sidestep a life of fucktardery.

R-Jack · Post by **R-Jack** » Sun Jul 10, 2011 2:59 am

poptart wrote: kiddo was tweetin' proudly about how hero dad "kept his head down and MADE the play."

Yeah, but he lead with his shoulders, which fucks up your balance. No doubt Toejam is showing this tape to his team, telling them "if you don't use proper form, you will DIE".

mvscal · Post by **mvscal** » Sun Jul 10, 2011 3:06 am

Martyred wrote:The herd has has been culled, people.

Much like Jesus, this man died for our entertainment value.

Exactly right, Marty. His pointless death is actually an affirmation of life and should be celebrated. The species is better as a result. The ball wasn't even remotely close. That demonstrated an almost total lack of situational awareness which would have been invariably fatal in the wild.

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Sun Jul 10, 2011 3:15 am

mvscal wrote:
Martyred wrote:The herd has has been culled, people.

Much like Jesus, this man died for our entertainment value.
Exactly right, Marty. His pointless death is actually an affirmation of life and should be celebrated. The species is better as a result. The ball wasn't even remotely close. That demonstrated an almost total lack of situational awareness which would have been invariably fatal in the wild.

Do you think that, in a few centuries, a messianic death-cult will spring up celebrating this mouth-breather as their spritual father?

I can just see the priest lobbing baseballs into the congregation as the faithful leap off their pews head first as an act of "communion" with Him.

mvscal · Post by **mvscal** » Sun Jul 10, 2011 3:55 am

We can only pray, Marty. Lions and tigers and leopards aren't around any longer to carry the burden. Somebody is going to have to step up to the plate so to speak and fill the void.

poptart · Post by **poptart** » Sun Jul 10, 2011 4:05 am

Not respecting the concrete 20 feet below him, this man showed a glaring lack of situational awareness.

We all know that when a person is busted on a DUI, it's almost never their first idiotic escapade.
Same with this fella.

Seeing his clown act here, I'd venture to say that he'd already whistled past the graveyard a number of times in his life, and was probably fortunate that Chuck D. didn't call him into his office sooner.

Commit brazen crimes against intelligence one-too-many times ---> and you'll end up offing yourself.

Not saying the result is cause for donning silly party hats and slamming jello shots, but just saying that the result... is.

All kidding aside, I do hope this chap was ready to check out.

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Sun Jul 10, 2011 10:51 am

Daddy Dickslap: "Here son...let me pop that collar for you so you can look just like your old man..."

Dickslap Junior: "Thanks, pop! That was really cool how you got us wheelchair ride up to our seats by claiming to be a veteran! You're the greatest, dad!"

Daddy Dickslap: "Yeah...your old man's a pro."

Dickslap Junior: "Oh look dad! It's going to be a home run!"

Daddy Dickslap: "Now watch your poppa snag this one outta the sky barehanded...then after the game we'll go to Boston Pizza and berate the waitresses even if the service is good..."

Daddy Dickslap: "AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"

The Seer · Post by **The Seer** » Sun Jul 10, 2011 2:14 pm

Another side splitter for mvs/mar

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... -fall.html

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Sun Jul 10, 2011 3:54 pm

The Seer wrote:Another side splitter for mvs/mar

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... -fall.html

I read about that one yesterday. I've ridden this model coaster at a different park. the really neat thing about it is the car is very low and holds you inplace, pretty much by your thighs. Dude's thighs are somewhere in afghanistan which i would have thought would have disqualified him from riding it.

i guess not. pretty sure he's DQ'd now though.

Screw_Michigan · Post by **Screw_Michigan** » Sun Jul 10, 2011 4:11 pm

Martyred wrote:Daddy Dickslap: "Now watch your poppa snag this one outta the sky barehanded...then after the game we'll go to Boston Pizza and berate the waitresses even if the service is good..."

What's the fucking problem?

Sin,

H4ever's wife

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Sun Jul 10, 2011 4:25 pm

poptart wrote:Seeing his clown act here, I'd venture to say that he'd already whistled past the graveyard a number of times in his life, and was probably fortunate that Chuck D. didn't call him into his office sooner.

I suspect we all have. You know, let those without sin...

Methinks manuel vargas over there is being WAY too easy on himself.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Sun Jul 10, 2011 7:14 pm

mvscal wrote:My kid isn't stupid. See how that works?

Well, good for him (or her). Lots of smart people do stupid things. You just never know. Bottom line, a child watching his father die before his very eyes isn't even slightly comical. Grow the fuck up, douche.

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Sun Jul 10, 2011 9:02 pm

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:Bottom line, a child watching his father die before his very eyes isn't even slightly comical.

Well, at the very least it should be instructive, in a "teach your children well" sort of way.

LTS TRN 2 · Post by **LTS TRN 2** » Sun Jul 10, 2011 9:07 pm

mvscal wrote:
Martyred wrote:The herd has has been culled, people.

Much like Jesus, this man died for our entertainment value.
Exactly right, Marty. His pointless death is actually an affirmation of life and should be celebrated. The species is better as a result. The ball wasn't even remotely close. That demonstrated an almost total lack of situational awareness which would have been invariably fatal in the wild.

No doubt your malignant attitude is equally bestowed on those American GI slobs in Iraq whose "almost total lack of situational awareness" caused their legs, hands, and heads to be blown off. Surely this would have happened in "the wild." You're disgusting--but you know that.

mvscal · Post by **mvscal** » Sun Jul 10, 2011 9:50 pm

The Seer wrote:Another side splitter for mvs/mar

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... -fall.html

That's exactly what I'm talking about. He (and other amputees like him) are specifically warned NOT to get on rollercoasters during rehab for reason which should be obvious. I guess he probably figured that one out on the way down.

mvscal · Post by **mvscal** » Sun Jul 10, 2011 10:06 pm

Here's one for you, Felchie.

Pedestrian killed by car during Pridefest parade

CASEY GROVE
casey.grove@adn.com

Published: June 25th, 2011 08:20 PM
Last Modified: July 2nd, 2011 08:05 PM

A convertible carrying the grand marshal in Saturday's gay PrideFest parade struck and killed a man just as the event began in downtown Anchorage, police said.

Read more: http://www.adn.com/2011/06/25/1935804/w ... z1Rk6lK5dZ

Cosmo Kramer · Post by **Cosmo Kramer** » Sun Jul 10, 2011 10:41 pm

I remember being in Mexico, Having some beers with my Father-in-Law when we witnessed a teenager riding an ATV without a helmet, tumble off into some rocks. I looked at him and said "I can't believe that just happened and he didn't have a helmet on" My F.I.L. is 6'6, a Lawyer and has a deep voice. He just turned to me and said "Stupid people die" and took a swig off of his beer....

Cuda · Post by **Cuda** » Sun Jul 10, 2011 10:43 pm

Martyred wrote:
poptart wrote:What a marvelous age we live in, when a fella's death can be posted on YouTube ---> to become comedic fodder for a gang of message board monkeys.
You would have been first in line to "BWAHAHA!" if it was a bruthah and not some popped-collar, douche-bag, Jimmy Medalions-lookin' frat boy, as it turns out.

Jimmy Medallions's head would have broken the guy's fall like an airbag in a movie stunt.

Cuda · Post by **Cuda** » Sun Jul 10, 2011 10:44 pm

mvscal wrote:Here's one for you, Felchie.

Pedestrian killed by car during Pridefest parade

CASEY GROVE
casey.grove@adn.com

Published: June 25th, 2011 08:20 PM
Last Modified: July 2nd, 2011 08:05 PM

A convertible carrying the grand marshal in Saturday's gay PrideFest parade struck and killed a man just as the event began in downtown Anchorage, police said.

Read more: http://www.adn.com/2011/06/25/1935804/w ... z1Rk6lK5dZ

LTS TRN 2 · Post by **LTS TRN 2** » Mon Jul 11, 2011 2:08 am

mvscal wrote:We can only pray, Marty. Lions and tigers and leopards aren't around any longer to carry the burden. Somebody is going to have to step up to the plate so to speak and fill the void.

So...why are you spewing this toxic bile?.....Oh, that's right, firefighters are solid union men. Got it. Carry on with your Limpdickian blather....

mvscal · Post by **mvscal** » Mon Jul 11, 2011 3:03 am

I had no idea what he did for a living nor would it matter. It does explain why you're licking his putrefying nutsack, though.

Don't expect me to shed any tears for one less Obongo voting dumbfuck...unless you're counting tears of laughter.

LTS TRN 2 · Post by **LTS TRN 2** » Mon Jul 11, 2011 4:20 am

That's right, he was a firefighter, facing flames, fumes and laddered flights and playing cards at the firehouse. And indeed a year to the day prior another firefighter fell just as fatuously from the first row in the upper deck in Arlington in a similar flawed flailing for a foul fly, seriously injuring the fellow fan upon upon which he finally foundered. Fuck you.