'Hood War

Left Seater · Post by **Left Seater** » Fri Jan 13, 2012 8:36 pm

So the Mrs. and I have moved into a new place and have been settled for a while now. Nice enough street although we know this is just temporary. Nice cul de sac street with 10 houses. We are one of two home on the block with no kids.

So shortly after we move in damn near all the kids on the street are out playing in the street. We are on our way home which is at the end of the street. All the kids have to move their crap and get out of the street so we can drive down it to our driveway. The Mrs. happens to be driving and she prolly goes about 10 mph down the street and we pull into the garage. As we are unloading something a neighbor walks over and we think he is going to introduce himself. Turns out he is going to get upset that Mrs. Lefty drove to fast down the street when kids are playing. I immediately stepped in and told him it was a street not a park and that cars had the right of way. After a few minutes of us going back and forth I wish him a good day and we walk inside.

A few minutes later our doorbell rings and it is another neighbor saying that maybe we should park our car on the side street and walk to our house when the kids are outside playing. I laugh and it turns out dude is serious. A little later we get a call from the other couple that doesn't have kids and they ask us to come over. While there they explain that we are the enemy because the family that moved out had three kids and the parents hung out in the street with the others and the adults drank while the kids played. They also told us one other family disagreed with the street drinking and playing. They filled us in on some more of the history of the street.

So, when we come home in the evenings and the street is filled things have progressively gotten worse. The kids take longer and longer to move their stuff, and some of the dads stand in the street and refuse to move. It got so bad I filmed it one evening and showed it to a police officer that works our hockey games. He said if that goes on often for me to call the cops and the parents would be ticketed and any kids over 12 would be also. So a few days later I did. There was prolly 40 kids on the street and all kinds of toys, ramps, etc. It took a good 5 minutes to get down the street. The cops came and while no tickets were issued made it clear that cars have the right of way. They told the parents to watch their kids etc.

A few days after that a cop is knocking on our front door. He says that there was a report by a neighbor that we were driving recklessly on the street and putting their kids in danger. I explained the situation and how we drove well under the speed limit each time and how I had called due to the crap and kids on the street a few days ago. After a few minutes I asked him where do we go from here and was he charging us with anything. He said he or any officer would have to witness the driving in order to issue a ticket.

Again a few days later while I am on a hockey trip the cops are called again two days in a row on Mrs Lefty for reckless driving. She suggests that the cop just plan to come over every afternoon/evening since the neighbors seem to want to call and we aren't going to not stop using the street. At the same time she notices kids playing in our yard and sets the sprinkler system to go off each night on the front yard zones. Two days after she starts doing this three of the sprinkler heads are smashed. She calls the police to report the damage and they come out and take a statement. We have them repaired and continue watering each afternoon.

A few days later I come home and some dads look like they want a piece of me. Two refuse to move their kids stuff and it looks like everything is coming to a head so I start filming it on the cell phone. One guy starts to yell and suddenly there is a cop behind my car. Turns out they sent an unmarked car who had parked at the intersecting street and could see everything that was going on. He gave out 7 tickets to adults and 1 kid for blocking a public street etc. One mom complained that we were driving home and leaving again just to make them move. The cop explained that we could do laps on our street for hours if we wanted and they would have to move each time. So what did we do? A few days later there is a ramp set up in the street that takes about 5 mins to set up. So the wife and I decide that we will run errands separately that afternoon. I leave and they have to move it, once set up my wife leaves, I return 10 minutes later, then I have a friend stop by, then he leaves, 5 minutes later I leave, etc.

Recently I have taken to filming all of the crap and stuff on the street and at times the lack of parents watching kids as young as two playing in said street. I have also filmed the other childless family having to wait while the crap is moved. Then just before Christmas a mom freaked out and started yelling that I didn't have permission to film her kid. I explained that I was in my yard and filming the public street. She said it didn't matter and she called the cops. When they showed up she said I was filming her kid without her permission. After I agreed that I was just filming my yard and the street in front of it and the cop agreeing that there wasn't anything wrong with that as long as I didn't use it for commercial purposes, she drops the "well how do we know he isn't some child molester." I asked her to repeat it and of course she did. She then said that she was going to tell everyone she knew that I was filming kids and I could be "some sicko". Of course I have it all on video; her threatening the cop, etc.

So at this point we are waiting to hear if she has told anyone or sent an email or posted something to her facebook, etc. As soon as she does we will be taking her to court. I hope she does, cause I can't wait to take some of her money.

Not all 'Hood Wars are violent, but this one sure is fun since the 'Seater household is batting .1000

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Fri Jan 13, 2012 8:48 pm

So how do your neighbors get in and out of their driveways? Do the kids only play at the end of the cul-de-sac?

Smackie Chan · Post by **Smackie Chan** » Fri Jan 13, 2012 9:00 pm

Left Seater wrote:the 'Seater household is batting .1000

Halfway to the Mendoza line. Nice work. Keep taking cuts in the cage and before long you'll be able to hit it off a tee 3 times outta 10.

Screw_Michigan · Post by **Screw_Michigan** » Fri Jan 13, 2012 9:03 pm

Smackie Chan wrote:
Left Seater wrote:the 'Seater household is batting .1000
Halfway to the Mendoza line. Nice work. Keep taking cuts in the cage and before long you'll be able to hit it off a tee 3 times outta 10.

Left Seater · Post by **Left Seater** » Fri Jan 13, 2012 9:24 pm

Man and I cant even blame that one on autocorrect.

ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2 · Fri Jan 13, 2012 9:35 pm

I have a similar problem. Tons of kids playing in the street in my hood so I make sure I do about 20 MPH when cruising to and from my house. However, there is this one cunt in particular who always yells at me to slow down because I am going too fast (5 MPH below the posted limit.) I always ignore her but it takes all my self control not to get out of the car and tell her to shut the fuck up.

In addition, a bunch of the kids think the hood is a motocross and speed up and down the streets on quads and dirt bikes. A couple of them are sons of the same cunt who yells at me to slow down every time I drive by their house. I have called the cops on these little fuckers on numerous occasions. The fucked up part is I have a 2 year old daughter who will soon be playing in the same streets. I don't want her getting gunned down by anyone either, whether it's in a car, SUV, or dirt bike. So the whole slow down thing I end up taking with a grain of salt. Whatever, right?

You'd think the parents of these teenagers would think this motocross thing is a bad idea, but I've had 'discussions' with these assholes and they just don't get it. They think I am being a jerk and I should let these fuckers have their fun. Meanwhile, these little bastards almost collided with me and my wife as they haul ass around the corner on more than one occasion. One of them even came inches to hitting my car as I backed out of the driveway.

Regardless. The cops make frequent trips to my hood now and are always on the lookout for these little bitches on wheels.

Good luck, Lefty.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Fri Jan 13, 2012 10:07 pm

You're in houston, right?

What the fukk ever happened to southern hospitality?

Sounds like somebody dropped the ball on the initial incident. Don't know if it was you, them or both. If I had to guess though, I think I would go with both.

If I were you, I would do one of two things. Either move or call all parties together over a beer and try to work it out. Sounds like it might be a little late for that though.

Screw_Michigan · Post by **Screw_Michigan** » Fri Jan 13, 2012 10:20 pm

Texas isn't "The South," idiot.

H4ever · Post by **H4ever** » Fri Jan 13, 2012 11:29 pm

Wow.... talk about being the new kid on the block. Good luck. Sounds like a shitty situation. If they are half the assholes you describe them to be, you should sue the shit out of as many as you can and when you finally move, maybe they will smarten up a little for the next folks that move in.

I'd be careful. Lots of guns in Texas and these people sound like delusional kooks.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Sat Jan 14, 2012 12:15 am

Screw_Michigan wrote:Texas isn't "The South," idiot.

Actual southerners, while inbred and toothless, are generally pleasant and mean well. Texas? That whole state is just fucking weird. Egotism and entitlement runs amok. The whole everything is bigger, badder in Texas, etc.

As for Lefty's little problem, I suggest go buy one of these:

Just sit in the street and rev the engine:

Then have some fun:

Derron · Post by **Derron** » Sat Jan 14, 2012 12:24 am

Have not lived in the city for 26 years, so really can't relate anymore. Did live there back in the day, and on our street there were 3 volunteer firemen. When the fire whistle blew, all the home mommies came running out and got kids off the streets, because we all liked to make the first engine, and I spared no horsepower or rubber doing it. That seemed to make an impression on the kids, because we never had any problems.

I live in a rural residential posted 25 mph with maybe 3 houses on 1/2 mile of road and some other house access. Nobody drives 25 except the deputy sheriff who lives next to me, and myself, because I am just not in a hurry these days. Over the years the local speed demons have blasted up and down the road and myself and another guy go talk to them and tell them we are going to kick their ass next time, and that solved the problem. If they want to argue, I have cameras and can calculate the speed based upon time and distance traveled. Those have been few and far between over the last 26 years too.

Rack living in the country and not having to put up with neighbors (too much) and their bastard bratty kids.

Derron · Post by **Derron** » Sat Jan 14, 2012 12:25 am

Sudden Sam wrote:
smackaholic wrote: What the fukk ever happened to southern hospitality?
Lefty's neighbors are obvioulsy a bunch of relocated yankees. :grin:

Not northern eastern yankees...I would bet that situation would be sufficient to throw down in a heart beat over in Philly or Jersey.

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Sat Jan 14, 2012 12:32 am

Left Seater: Keep your baby off the street. She gonna get hit one of these days.
Neighborhood Mom: You got some blow? You got some rock? I'll suck your dick.
Left Seater: Just keep the baby off the streets! And change her diapers! They almost smell as bad as you.

mvscal · Post by **mvscal** » Sat Jan 14, 2012 12:56 am

Screw_Michigan wrote:Texas isn't "The South," idiot.

Shut the fuck up, moron.

RossTheBoss · Post by **RossTheBoss** » Sat Jan 14, 2012 1:03 am

yo, dat shit be just like my hood, yo. deez bitches be in da streets hopped up on STARBUCKZ yo and be trippin and sayin i be scarin da kids cuz i be gangsta. cuz i sag my pants and cock my lid, yo. da predujice i put up with cuz i be black is straight boolshit, yo. straight boolshit.

~realness

Cornhusker · Post by **Cornhusker** » Sat Jan 14, 2012 3:02 am

Glad I live in "fly over" country...What did I witness this evening? ..about 250 geese and 75 ducks landing in the 160 acres of corn stalks (a.k.a. my backyard)... that reaches the Platte River 2 miles south, amid a fire red sunset. I love when not a soul can witness me anywhere on my property. You gotta pee, you just pee. The Trumpeter Swans are as cool as it gets.

Urban living isn't livin'. I left a near-by town 13 years ago when I was mowing the yard and the new neighbor kids were watching me while on their playset saying "hi' to me every 30 seconds...gonzo...

Left Seater · Post by **Left Seater** » Sat Jan 14, 2012 3:24 am

Apparently only current parents can drive at safe speeds around kids.

mix of people on the street from all over, much like all of Texas. One family from Connecticut, California, two Mexican national families, etc.

Yes plenty of guns here including in our house as I am licensed to carry a concealed handgun.

We are planning to move just looking for the right acerage just outside of town to build on.

On our last street we were the only ones with no kids, but this wasn't an issue so I don't think it is us.

M2 · Post by M2 » Sat Jan 14, 2012 4:12 am

I'd move inside the loop. What's wrong with living in the neighborhood you went to school at (University) ?

You can always move to River Oaks and you won't have this problem at all.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Sat Jan 14, 2012 5:35 am

M2 wrote:I'd move inside the loop. What's wrong with living in the neighborhood you went to school at (University) ?

You can always move to River Oaks and you won't have this problem at all.

does river oaks have some sort of no assholes law?

would that explain why you were run back to the left coast?

M2 · Post by M2 » Sat Jan 14, 2012 5:47 am

smackaholic wrote:
M2 wrote:I'd move inside the loop. What's wrong with living in the neighborhood you went to school at (University) ?

You can always move to River Oaks and you won't have this problem at all.
does river oaks have some sort of no assholes law?

would that explain why you were run back to the left coast?

River Oaks is full of assholes... they just don't have kids running around the streets.

As far as leaving Uston... I just prefer 65 to 75 degree weather year round with no HUMIDITY... with mountains, an ocean and a educated populous.

Don't get me wrong... Uston has some of the nicest people in the country, hands down.

M2 · Post by M2 » Sat Jan 14, 2012 5:07 pm

Life in the Foodchain

Screw_Michigan · Post by **Screw_Michigan** » Sat Jan 14, 2012 6:20 pm

mvscal wrote:
Screw_Michigan wrote:Texas isn't "The South," idiot.
Shut the fuck up, moron.

Oh, OK. If you say so.

ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2 · Sat Jan 14, 2012 10:49 pm

When I think of The South, I think of the 11 Confederate States. Just as an FYI -- Texas was one of them. You may want to rethink your stance.

Now... if you're talking The Deep South, no, Texas is not included. But others may argue Texas is indeed included, if you're going by the original 7 Confederate States.

Cuda · Post by **Cuda** » Sat Jan 14, 2012 11:02 pm

Left Seater wrote:etc, etc, etc... and so on...

you can do one of two things... run over the little fucks's hockey shit and sue the parents for the damage it did to your car (and, of course, kick the raw horse fuck out of a couple of dads in private/secret), or sell Casa de Seater and move. How good is your lawyer?

Van · Post by **Van** » Sat Jan 14, 2012 11:13 pm

Let's implement no such thing. The last thing any of us want is an all-haiku message board.

Van · Post by **Van** » Sat Jan 14, 2012 11:43 pm

You must be quite the learned fellow.

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Sat Jan 14, 2012 11:43 pm

Left Seater wrote:So the Mrs. and I have moved into a new place and have been settled for a while now. Nice enough street although we know this is just temporary. Nice cul de sac street with 10 houses. We are one of two home on the block with no kids.

Before you bought the house, it should've been quite apparent that there was a large population of kids in the neighborhood, no? I mean, you had to have gone up and down that street several times before making the decision to buy. I would think that the situation that has arisen would've been plain to see coming.

Somewhat similar situation in my 'hood these days as well. It wasn't always like this. We live on a dead end street, not a cul-de-sac. When we moved here in 1986, there were very few children but young couples who were just starting small families, including my own. Never had much problem with kids playing in the street.

But that's changed in the past few years. Two new homes were built and both families that moved in have several children, in addition to others moving in to existing homes. It's quite common to see 15-20 kids playing in the street at any one time. It's a miracle that some kid hasn't been hurt yet as they are seemingly oblivious to vehicle traffic. They'll ride their bikes or just run right out in front of you at any moment. I go about 5 mph, scanning left and right, looking for that stupid kid whose parents haven't taught them not to play in traffic.

But I like kids, so I'm nice to them, never raising my voice. I also know that kids grow up and will remember well that asshole who was mean to them when they were 8 years old.

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Sun Jan 15, 2012 3:14 am

War Wagon wrote:But I like kids, so I'm nice to them, never raising my voice. I also know that kids grow up and will remember well that asshole who was mean to them when they were 8 years old.

In our neighborhood, how cool or uncool an adult was to kids eventually determined whether or not their home or yard would be vandalized. Our favorite was to do the classic "lawn job." But sometimes eggs and fireworks came into play. I'm glad I grew out of that phase pretty quick. I'm also glad we never got caught.

Dan Vogel · Post by **Dan Vogel** » Sun Jan 15, 2012 1:08 pm

What a topic.

There are a lot of unknown things in the story but I'm not sure you have done right Left Seater. Every neighborhood his it;s own ideocyracies and unless you live there you might not understand it at first. Those people are probably gathering and playing there for a reason. I would want to know if there is a playground near? Maybe this is a home owner association issue and the kids just need a place to play.

When you got the first request that maybe you should park on the other close street if the kids are playing it shouldn't have been laughed at. From the point of view of the people who have already been living there it is probably a good request and reasonable. And maybe you could have followed the request just to get off on a good foot. Also are you sure that you wife was really going just 10mph the first time? Maybe she was going faster or she stepped on it just to make a point. Did you or her glare at the kids when you had to wait for them? My point is that you can't always come into a new situation and impose your standard on others who have already been there for a long time. Now you are outnumbered anyway and in trouble.

I'm not trying to fight you but maybe just have you turn it around and try to look from the other side of the coin. Good luck.

Carson · Post by **Carson** » Sun Jan 15, 2012 1:37 pm

That reminds me, Dan:

How do you control traffic when your daughter is open for business?

Shuttle busses? Trams?

jiminphilly · Post by **jiminphilly** » Sun Jan 15, 2012 4:42 pm

What a shitty street to live on. Growing up I spent half of my youth playing hockey, football, basketball, stickball etc.. in the street and when someone saw a car, the game halted after someone yelled "car". We'd clear the street (move nets etc..) and resume once the car passed. No parents were needed to police us because we weren't stupid or arrogant enough to challenge a moving car and no parent ever looked at a someone driving a car on a street to get to their home with contempt... because that's sorta what the street is for.

The worst part is the learned behavior of those kids because their parents are obviously promoting them being complete assholes. Those parents are likely going to be the type that allow their 17 year old kid to have a house part with 30 of their closest friends as long as no one drives home.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Sun Jan 15, 2012 5:11 pm

jiminphilly wrote:What a shitty street to live on. Growing up I spent half of my youth playing hockey, football, basketball, stickball etc.. in the street and when someone saw a car, the game halted after someone yelled "car". We'd clear the street (move nets etc..) and resume once the car passed. No parents were needed to police us because we weren't stupid or arrogant enough to challenge a moving car and no parent ever looked at a someone driving a car on a street to get to their home with contempt... because that's sorta what the street is for.

Can't say we never played in the streets as kids, but for the most part we utilized these things called backyards, parks, schools. Crazy times !!!

Van · Post by **Van** » Sun Jan 15, 2012 5:14 pm

Enabling parents like that will probably also cave in to their sixteen-year-old daughter's petulant demand that she be given a 1:00 a.m. curfew, resulting in 3:00 a.m. phone calls from the police station and said daughter's unfortunate impregnation by some drunken death metal drummer.

Right, Dan Vogel?

:doh:

Mace · Post by **Mace** » Sun Jan 15, 2012 7:00 pm

You have my sympathy, Lefty. When my kids were growing up, we used to have 5-10 kids at my house nearly every day playing outside in our yard...never in the street. Parents who not only allow, but encourage, kids to play in the street are being irresponsible and neglectful parents who are putting their kids in danger. They are idiots and their kids will grow up to be the same.

Good luck and I hope you find a suitable place to build real soon.

Left Seater · Post by **Left Seater** » Sun Jan 15, 2012 7:20 pm

war, every time we looked at the house it was during school hours, same with the inspection. We did know their were kids on the street, but there were kids on our last street.

There is also a huge HOA maintained park 250 yards from the end of the street. No reason they can't play there. Sure we are new to the street, but that doesn't mean the city, county laws don't apply. The cops have been called numerous times and we have been in the right each time. This is now a matter of principle. And yes I am sure that the wife was going 10 mph, because we discussed it driving down the street the first time. We also don't blame the younger kids for having stupid parents, kids don't get to choose their parents and we don't want to see them hurt.

AS for retaliation I am not that worried. I have already installed motion detecting sensors for our front lights and have spread the word that web cams cover our property. I even nailed an old web cam under the eaves of the front corner and fed a line up thru the vents. Granted it isn't hooked up to anything, but those idiots don't know that.

Arch Angel · Post by **Arch Angel** » Mon Jan 16, 2012 10:03 pm

jiminphilly wrote:What a shitty street to live on. Growing up I spent half of my youth playing hockey, football, basketball, stickball etc.. in the street and when someone saw a car, the game halted after someone yelled "car". We'd clear the street (move nets etc..) and resume once the car passed. No parents were needed to police us because we weren't stupid or arrogant enough to challenge a moving car and no parent ever looked at a someone driving a car on a street to get to their home with contempt... because that's sorta what the street is for.

The worst part is the learned behavior of those kids because their parents are obviously promoting them being complete assholes. Those parents are likely going to be the type that allow their 17 year old kid to have a house part with 30 of their closest friends as long as no one drives home.

Someone say "House Party"?

mvscal · Post by **mvscal** » Tue Jan 17, 2012 1:40 am

Van wrote: said daughter's unfortunate impregnation by some drunken death metal drummer.

Right, Dan Vogel?

:doh:

Right. I never did anything so reckless and irresponsible. I only ever fucked her in the ass and shot my load down her gullet just out of respect for her personhood.

ChargerMike · Post by **ChargerMike** » Tue Jan 17, 2012 6:17 pm

Their's

always the option of moving to Crapchester where it's too cold to play outside 9 months of the year.

T1B

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