Poster of the Week

Mikey · Post by **Mikey** » Fri Jun 22, 2012 11:28 pm

Poster child of the week:

poptart · Post by **poptart** » Fri Jun 22, 2012 11:45 pm

poptart wrote:I don't think I've ever seen any thread that started with some kind of a list conclude without someone melting or at least near-melting.

MORE lists!

Van wrote:You're just a smarmy, lowlife cunt

Marty wrote:Delusional, shut-in, little bitch

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Fri Jun 22, 2012 11:47 pm

Mikey wrote:Poster child of the week:

Mikey, could you be a pal and post another one of your boil-in-the-bag recipes in the Cooking Forum?

I haven't seen you get slapped around like a beachball at Lollapalooza in what seems like, what...hours?

Van · Post by **Van** » Fri Jun 22, 2012 11:55 pm

Martyred wrote:Anyone can feel free to hit up the 'chive and see how Van's posting style switched from "Ernest Hemingway swagger" to "passive-aggressive little bitch" after his hiatus.

Remember? When you hid out, far away from CDS when your little ass got a little too chaffed?

And then he pulls the ol' "Hey guys...It's your old pal Van...awww shucks...I sure do miss y'alls company...Gawsh..."

Delusional, shut-in, little bitch.

That's it? That's all you have? "Check the archive!" Jesus, dude, just wave your white flag and be done with it. You have nothing and you know it. See, unlike you, in all the years I've frequented these boards I've never pretended to be someone or something I'm not. I've never changed my posting style or my basic ethics. I also know precisely where you're lying, and you know I know, which is why you're now punting.

You're simply a classless bitch who throws so much shit at the wall that occasionally something sticks and earns a laugh. Good for you, considering you live for approval on an anonymous message board and clearly have nothing else going on in your life. Behaving with even a modicum of class? That's never been a concern of yours, and that's where you part company with nearly every other poster here. Mgo, R-Jack and mvscal are all every bit as funny as you are, but the difference is they are actually capable of showing class when it's the right thing to do. Yes, when push comes to shove, even mvscal can manage it. You? Not a chance. There is nothing that can prompt you to grow the fuck up, much less grow a pair.

You remain nothing but a juvenile dirtbag, just as you likely were at thirteen. You go, girl.

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Sat Jun 23, 2012 12:04 am

Here's another example of how you crown yourself the arbiter of good taste and acceptable smack.

The royal "we".

Van wrote:...and that's where you part company with nearly every other poster here.

Everyone knows who I am. I take my props, as well as my lumps with humility.

I don't hide behind the mass of humanity at T1B like you do.

goddamn, but are you ever a thin-skinned pussy

Van · Post by **Van** » Sat Jun 23, 2012 12:15 am

pop, swear to god, the next time I come up with a list of any sort whatsoever I'm going to make sure you're on it. I don't care whether it's a list of blues guitarists who rely soley on pentatonic boxing, LTS's most oft-repeated hoary cliches, the SEC's sluttiest cheerleaders, or Miss Scotland's best tooth, you're making your way onto that fucking list.

You know what's so awesome about you? You're an Ephesians-quotin' anarchist who wants nothing more from life than to wake up each morning and witness a seventeen-car trainwreck on your way to work. That sort of submersive dichotomy of purpose is a rare find, and really kinda cool.

I salute you, pop. You're one majestic pillar of withering salt amid a sea of parched camel toes.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Sat Jun 23, 2012 12:19 am

poptart -- Rack your foresight and wisdom, my god-fearing friend.

passive-aggressive little bitch

classless bitch

juvenile dirtbag

thin-skinned pussy

Mikey · Post by **Mikey** » Sat Jun 23, 2012 12:20 am

Toddowen wrote:
Mikey wrote:Well, you sure seem to be hanging on Van's nutsack now you cuntish little crony.

Jealous that I didn't include your name?

FYI Mikey, I don't think you're that bad of a guy no matter how much your nutsack favors your left thigh.

What, you didn't appreciate my Marty impression?

I'm crushed.

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Sat Jun 23, 2012 12:28 am

Van wrote:pop, swear to god, the next time I come up with a list of any sort whatsoever I'm going to make sure you're on it. I don't care whether it's a list of blues guitarists who rely soley on pentatonic boxing, LTS's most oft-repeated hoary cliches, the SEC's sluttiest cheerleaders, or Miss Scotland's best tooth, you're making your way onto that fucking list.

You know what's so awesome about you? You're en Ephesians-quotin' anarchist who wants nothing more from life than to wake up each morning and witness a seventeen-car trainwreck on your way to work. That sort of submersive dichotomy of purpose is a rare find, and really kinda cool.

I salute you, pop. You're one majestic pillar of withering salt amid a sea of parched camel toes.

Awww...look at Van trying to recruit allies...how adorable.

Talk about throwing everything at the wall and seeing what sticks.

Guitars/Chicks/College Football...

In the smack vernacular, that's called "shooting your wad"*.

*Attention, toddowen...please pick up the courtesy phone...toddowen to the courtesy phone...

Van · Post by **Van** » Sat Jun 23, 2012 12:31 am

Martyred wrote:Here's another example of how you crown yourself the arbiter of good taste and acceptable smack.

The royal "we".

Van wrote:...and that's where you part company with nearly every other poster here.

That's not an example of "we." That's an example of one person expressing their opinion regarding you vs the rest of the board. There's no mention of "we" there, you fucking dumbshit.

At least try to get your concepts straight before you incorrectly apply them.

Everyone knows who I am. I take my props, as well as my lumps with humility.

You couldn't grasp the concept of humility if the Dalai Lama himself shat it on your chest in the form of a ruddy-hued dradle. You're nothing but a well-oiled, attention-seeking hairlip with a severe case of conceptual constipation. You suck all kinds of suck.

You're also occasionally funny.

I don't hide behind the mass of humanity at T1B like you do.

And how do I do this? Short of creating trolls to prop themselves, which I don't do, how could anyone hide behind others here? Whatever accolades or derision I receive here, I have no control over any of it.

You've made this silly claim on multiple occasions yet you've never produced a single example of how it's even possible to do such a thing, much less offer up any examples where I was guilty of it.

I think you just enjoy the taste of pissing in the wind.

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Sat Jun 23, 2012 12:31 am

Mikey wrote: What, you didn't appreciate my Marty impression?

I did.

[Van]You know, Mikey, we've had our differences, but I think you're actually a swell bloke. Guitars...Cars...Hot Chicks...Football...your favourite pasta recipe...blah-blah-Van-blah...[/Van]

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Sat Jun 23, 2012 12:36 am

Van wrote: That's not an example of "we." That's an example of one person expressing their opinion regarding you vs the rest of the board. There's no mention of "we" there, you fucking dumbshit.

No. That's an example of you offering up a loaded premise, and rolling the dice that everyone logged in tonight is to drunk to notice you maneuvering the argument with empty suppositions.

I'm neither as gullible as Ken, nor insecure as Wags.
You'll have to do better to get over on me.

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Sat Jun 23, 2012 12:41 am

I'd like to keep this thread going to find out how many nutsacks Van can juggle.

C'mon, Van. I think Carson is logged in. Why don't you say something "nice" about him?

Rememeber, potential ally in the making...keep juggling, you gimp.

Carson · Post by **Carson** » Sat Jun 23, 2012 12:43 am

I'm just wondering why Tarddowen capitalizes mvscal when even mvscal doesn't.

Van · Post by **Van** » Sat Jun 23, 2012 12:43 am

Sorry, Marty, but I've had precisely one negative thing to say to/about Mikey in thirteen years on these boards, and that's not likely to change now just because you're all butthurt over the fact that I don't rate you very highly.

I appreciate Mikey's intelligence and dry sense of humor. He knows quite a bit about an awful lot, and he actually is humble. See also: 88, and Smackie Chan.

As you're so fond of saying, deal with it.

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Sat Jun 23, 2012 12:47 am

Van wrote:See also: 88, and Smackie Chan.

That's a lot of juggling...

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Sat Jun 23, 2012 12:51 am

Carson wrote:I'm just wondering why Tarddowen capitalizes mvscal when even mvscal doesn't.

For the same reason some runaway girls end up doing DP/Bukkake films.

"Love me, Daddy..."

Van · Post by **Van** » Sat Jun 23, 2012 12:52 am

Martyred wrote:
Van wrote: That's not an example of "we." That's an example of one person expressing their opinion regarding you vs the rest of the board. There's no mention of "we" there, you fucking dumbshit.
No. That's an example of you offering up a loaded premise, and rolling the dice that everyone logged in tonight is to drunk to notice you maneuvering the argument with empty suppositions.

Wrong, on both counts. The first isn't a premise, it's an opinion. The second isn't a supposition, it's a fact. There was never any mention of "we" in my post. I stated what I think, speaking solely for myself.

You lose. Badly. Again. But then, that's to be expected. Crayons can't help you here, and minus your crayons you really don't have much else. A marginal wit won't get it done, and you can only rely on lying so long before you eventually have to produce something of substance or be revealed as the utter fraud you've always been.

And here we are.

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Sat Jun 23, 2012 12:56 am

hmm, yeah

Marty likes to start shit and is a drama queen who craves attention, quite jealous when Van steals some of his spotlight. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

I dig the hell out of both of you so make nice and get the fuck along.

Tune Town might be a good place to start.

Fuck Screw, btw.

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Sat Jun 23, 2012 1:01 am

Van wrote: You lose. Badly. Again.

Declare victory, pick up the ball...and go home. Wow.

Hey folks...Van says I'm getting my ass handed to me.
Well, Van's the expert. BODE Van.

Van wrote: And here we are.

Yep.

Van · Post by **Van** » Sat Jun 23, 2012 1:04 am

Wags, I can assure you that I will never "make nice" and "get along" with Marty, and you of all people know precisely why. He's one of only a very small handful of people on these boards that I genuinely dislike. Sure, I'll still laugh at some of his posts, but I will always consider him to be a classless dirtbag.

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Sat Jun 23, 2012 1:09 am

War Wagon wrote: Tune Town might be a good place to start.

Is Smackie still playing an eclectic mix of shit nobody wants to hear, followed up by groveling for requests?

Pasadena, hombre.

War Wagon wrote:Fuck Screw, btw.

You better believe it.

Ken · Post by **Ken** » Sat Jun 23, 2012 1:25 am

Martyred wrote:I'm neither as gullible as Ken..

:(
Kidney shot, bro. An unsubstantiated one, but one nonetheless.

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Sat Jun 23, 2012 1:26 am

Ken wrote:
Martyred wrote:I'm neither as gullible as Ken..
:(
Kidney shot, bro. An unsubstantiated one, but one nonetheless.

Sorry you got caught in the crossfire, Ken.

It's always the innocent who suffer the most.

Smackie Chan · Post by **Smackie Chan** » Sat Jun 23, 2012 1:38 am

Martyred wrote:Is Smackie still playing an eclectic mix of shit nobody wants to hear, followed up by groveling for requests?

Pretty much. Gotta play to my strengths.

Carson · Post by **Carson** » Sat Jun 23, 2012 1:41 am

KC Scott wrote:you faggy buttlicker

Marty, looks like the truce is over, bring on the steam smack!

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Sat Jun 23, 2012 1:49 am

Carson wrote: Marty, looks like the truce is over, bring on the steam smack!

DO NOT unleash that Kraken, home-style.

Genie stays in the bottle...cork stays on the bottle.

Carson · Post by **Carson** » Sat Jun 23, 2012 1:50 am

You've been saving that all week, haven't you Scott?

Atomic Punk · Post by **Atomic Punk** » Sat Jun 23, 2012 2:04 am

Van wrote:You suck all kinds of suck.

shutyomouth, give Vangina his password back. TIA

Vangina with his worthless assessment of the personalities on this board bit his arrogant ass. After all, his opinion matters. Just ask him.

Van · Post by **Van** » Sat Jun 23, 2012 2:10 am

As long as Marty and AP are the Axis powers aligned against me, yep, I'll just laugh. Vain and Stupid, the Hitler and Mussolini of Smackdom. Nice.

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Sat Jun 23, 2012 2:15 am

Van wrote:...powers aligned against me...

Wow.

Yeah, that's not paranoid megalomania at all...no way...

Let the air out, Van. Just a little.

Bizzarofelice · Post by **Bizzarofelice** » Sat Jun 23, 2012 2:17 am

Van is WAR

Marty is pretty WAR, too.

AP is an infected dickhole and you just drank two pots of coffee.

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Sat Jun 23, 2012 2:31 am

Bizzarofelice wrote: Marty is pretty WAR, too.

The Bace, Felice, is, ah goin off
The Bace, Felice, is, ah goin off
The Bace, Felice, is, ah goin off
The Bace ... Go off, Go off!

Mikey · Post by **Mikey** » Sat Jun 23, 2012 2:38 am

Marty is trying to show AP how to take on the rest of the board.

Not sure why he's doing this, but I'm thinking a Marty in ladies underwear shot taken in a cum splattered mirror would really top this thing off.

mvscal · Post by **mvscal** » Sat Jun 23, 2012 2:42 am

Dr_Phibes · Post by **Dr_Phibes** » Sat Jun 23, 2012 6:26 am

Van wrote:Screwball, no worries, in your case. Like any MAC-level poster, you're simply too much of a nonentity to merit a mention, good or bad. If you're not rhapsodizing about some hot chick dropping her balls in your mouth or some fetid lot of sewer rats stealing your laundry room quarters, you're pretty much just white noise.

Strange, I was just thinking the same about you.

Linguistics are interesting, grammar isn't. Music is interesting, wailing guitar solos aren't. Treating social sciences as though they were formal is a mistake, you'll get yourself into trouble.
You have no formal education on anything you talk about.

Van · Post by **Van** » Sat Jun 23, 2012 3:26 pm

IKHEIBSAY? Really? That's what you chose to post?

Dr. Phibes wrote:Treating social sciences as though they were formal is a mistake, you'll get yourself into trouble.

Example? And how will I "get myself into trouble"?

Truman · Post by **Truman** » Sat Jun 23, 2012 4:00 pm

Dr_Phibes wrote: You have no formal education on anything you talk about.

:?

"Formal education"? On a virtual chat board? Since when is THAT a prerequisite to post here? Be that the case, you might as well go ahead and shut down this Board...

BTW, the current Leader of the Free World was "formally educated" as a constitutional scholar, and degreed by one of the highest institutions of learning in the country. How has that worked out so far? But I digress...

Ever read the expression, "I may not be a doctor/lawyer/experimental test pilot/master deck-builder in Real Life, but I can certainly play one on the Internet?"

Smart people get crushed in this shithole every day, Phibes. TMYK.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Sat Jun 23, 2012 4:10 pm

Good point, Tru. AP supposedly has a degree from USC and he couldn't form a coherent 3-word sentence if you spotted him two of the words.

Truman · Post by **Truman** » Sat Jun 23, 2012 4:38 pm

I think it's just a simple translation issue, Mgo.

I'm of a mind that AP writes in a perfectly cogent language for his state of consciousness...

You just have to somehow achieve his level of drunkeness to read it. Tall task, but eventually someone someday might actually figure out what he's slurring about...