Poster of the Week

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Sat Jun 23, 2012 5:18 pm

Papa Willie wrote:You ought to know that a BP of 350/180 isn't too good for you!

I'm not taking health tips from a guy who's probably at this very moment tying off and heating bacon grease up on a spoon.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Sat Jun 23, 2012 5:34 pm

Truman wrote:I think it's just a simple translation issue, Mgo.

I'm of a mind that AP writes in a perfectly cogent language for his state of consciousness...

You just have to somehow achieve his level of drunkeness to read it. Tall task, but eventually someone someday might actually figure out what he's slurring about...

I think you underrate AP's natural stupidity. I'm sure quite a few of us have posted on this shithole blasted a time or two, and managed just fine in the coherency department. The difference between shit-faced AP and stone cold sober AP is marginal at best.

Dr_Phibes · Post by **Dr_Phibes** » Sat Jun 23, 2012 5:45 pm

Van wrote: Example? And how will I "get myself into trouble"?

Pompous comes off as a mask for insecurity, it's just embarrassing for everyone.

Van · Post by **Van** » Sat Jun 23, 2012 5:59 pm

So you don't have any actual examples and are just talking out of your ass. Gotcha. First Marty, now you. Must be a Canadian thing.

Anyway, accusations of pomposity are kinda wildly hypocritical coming from a guy who spouts off about the need for a "formal education" while touting his supposed degrees on a freaking message board devoted to smacking tards, but then I guess Irony 101 must have been one of those courses you skipped in lieu of affecting to be a pseudo-intellectual Marxist douchebag.

Dr_Phibes · Post by **Dr_Phibes** » Sat Jun 23, 2012 7:20 pm

I frequently talk out of my ass, but at the expense of a subject not a person. That speaks to something else entirely.

I'm trying to think of something to validate a remark like that, I'm looking round the room for George Bernard Shaw in his smoking jacket, dazzling everyone with his observations and coming up empty.

Truman · Post by **Truman** » Sat Jun 23, 2012 8:14 pm

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:I think you underrate AP's natural stupidity. I'm sure quite a few of us have posted on this shithole blasted a time or two, and managed just fine in the coherency department. The difference between shit-faced AP and stone cold sober AP is marginal at best.

Dude, there's a scale?

HOW does one underrate AP's natural stupidity?

Point being is that no poster on this board has ever even approached the 0.45 BAC necessary to translate AP's obliterated takes into Engrish.

Truman · Post by **Truman** » Sat Jun 23, 2012 8:19 pm

Dr_Phibes wrote:I frequently talk out of my ass, but at the expense of a subject not a person.

You mean subjects like like Capitalism? Federalism? Democracy?

I always DID like you. Bless you, Phibes, for coming correct....

Van · Post by **Van** » Sat Jun 23, 2012 8:29 pm

That's the problem with Phibes, Truman. You hit it right on the head. I can't help but like him, no matter how much he dislikes me; no matter how much he talks out of his ass to no real purpose. There's just something about his self-satisfied smirk that I find amusing, and in a good way. He's often wrong, he even seems to know it, and he just doesn't care. He's that comfortable with those patches on his elbows.

He reminds me of Kevin Kline minus the murderous temper.

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Sat Jun 23, 2012 8:39 pm

Van wrote:...he dislikes me...

What's the matter, Van? Did your helper monkey forget to charge the wheelchair batteries overnight?

Get over yourself, you freak.

trev · Post by **trev** » Sat Jun 23, 2012 8:44 pm

Grrrr.

Van · Post by **Van** » Sat Jun 23, 2012 9:00 pm

Watching Marty continually pout like a four-year-old has proven to be far more amusing than I ever could have imagined. Had I known it would be this much fun, I would have bothered to respond to his incessant cries of "C'mon, Van, look at meeeeeeeeeee...acknowledge meeeeeee...praise meeeeeeeeee!" a long time ago.

What a fucking doorknob.

Truman · Post by **Truman** » Sat Jun 23, 2012 9:08 pm

Van wrote:That's the problem with Phibes, Truman. You hit it right on the head. I can't help but like him, no matter how much he dislikes me; no matter how much he talks out of his ass to no real purpose. There's just something about his self-satisfied smirk that I find amusing, and in a good way. He's often wrong, he even seems to know it, and he just doesn't care. He's that comfortable with those patches on his elbows.

Which, of course, begs the question:

Are you really getting “Phibes”, or is he simply Merde’s creation: A Walter Mitty-like foil and façade of his own anarchist leanings?

Not that any of that matters on a humble, anonymous, American InterWeb message board.

All that said, Phibes IS a likable caricature, Merde or not, and he should post MORE, read less.

A post-or-three distancing himself from Merde would go a long way to establishing his bonafides, but then again: It’s a smack board. Who gives a flying rat’s ass?

BTW, of all the erudite and pithy smack that you’ve dropped in this thread, this one sticks:

You suck all kinds of suck.

That blast ranks with the “You’re dumber than a box a dicks,” I dropped on AP once and is seriously getting sig consideration.

Looking for six pages, Van – keep up the good work.

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Sat Jun 23, 2012 9:27 pm

Van wrote:Watching Marty continually pout like a four-year-old...

You're the one that re-lit the thread bright and early this morning, Corky.

Must have been weighing heavily on your mind all night.

Van · Post by **Van** » Sat Jun 23, 2012 9:38 pm

Tru, I don't quite know what to make of Phibes, but as I mentioned before, he reminds me of Nick only with the medicinals under proper control.

Truman · Post by **Truman** » Sat Jun 23, 2012 10:14 pm

Best keep such discussion at PM level Van, lest Merde think you're rallingly the troops.

BTW, have yet to see where you need any help here, but maybe that's just me.

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Sat Jun 23, 2012 10:28 pm

Truman wrote: BTW, have yet to see where you need any help here...

Sweet Mary and all the blessed angels...tell me Van DID NOT PM you asking for "help"....

X 1 000 000

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Sat Jun 23, 2012 10:37 pm

Truman wrote:All that said, Phibes IS a likable caricature, Merde or not, and he should post MORE, read less.

I dunno, Phibes is infrequent, succinct and measured, which suits him perfectly. He knows when to bail from a debate before it turns into an embarrassing pissing match. Not that I have anything against pissing matches. Van vs Marty = bring it on. bradhusker vs LTS = bring on the noose.

Screw_Michigan · Post by **Screw_Michigan** » Sat Jun 23, 2012 10:54 pm

Martyred wrote: Sweet Mary and all the blessed angels...tell me Van DID NOT PM you asking for "help"....

No, he PM'd me. Fucked up, isn't it?

Atomic Punk · Post by **Atomic Punk** » Sun Jun 24, 2012 12:01 am

Screw_Michigan wrote:
Martyred wrote: Sweet Mary and all the blessed angels...tell me Van DID NOT PM you asking for "help"....
No, he PM'd me. Fucked up, isn't it?

Yep. Are you surprised that Van is looking for help via PM?

Truman · Post by **Truman** » Sun Jun 24, 2012 12:13 am

Martyred wrote:
Truman wrote: BTW, have yet to see where you need any help here...

Sweet Mary and all the blessed angels...tell me Van DID NOT PM you asking for "help"....

THIS is why sheep live in fear. If I ever see Marty, I will fight you...

Truman · Post by **Truman** » Sun Jun 24, 2012 12:16 am

Atomic Punk wrote:Yep. Are you surprised that Van is looking for help via PM?

Is it any surprise that you can't find your beer after you opened it? Your trailer couldn't be that big...

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Sun Jun 24, 2012 12:32 am

Truman wrote:If I ever see Marty, I will fight you...

Wait...

Do you mean, if you ever see me, you will fight AP...

...or if you ever see me, you will fight me?

:?

Atomic Punk · Post by **Atomic Punk** » Sun Jun 24, 2012 12:34 am

Truman wrote:
Atomic Punk wrote:Yep. Are you surprised that Van is looking for help via PM?
Is it any surprise that you can't find your beer after you opened it? Your trailer couldn't be that big...

IKYABWAI "blast" from someone that lives in or near KC. I'm shocked.

Truman · Post by **Truman** » Sun Jun 24, 2012 12:45 am

Martyred wrote:
Truman wrote:If I ever see Marty, I will fight you...
Wait...

Do you mean, if you ever see me, you will fight AP...

...or if you ever see me, you will fight me?

:?

Fight?

Er...Hey... What? Hoo aboot dem Jays!

I was told that there would be no math here...

Truman · Post by **Truman** » Sun Jun 24, 2012 12:49 am

Atomic Punk wrote:
Truman wrote:
Atomic Punk wrote:Yep. Are you surprised that Van is looking for help via PM?
Is it any surprise that you can't find your beer after you opened it? Your trailer couldn't be that big...
IKYABWAI "blast" from someone that lives in or near KC. I'm shocked.

Mokay.

Go ahead and lay out the "I know you are but what am I" in my post.

I'll swill beers while you swallow dicks.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Sun Jun 24, 2012 1:19 am

Atomic Punk wrote:IKYABWAI "blast" from someone that lives in or near KC.

Good Christ, what other amazingly simplistic concepts can you not comprehend? 2+2 = eleventy billion?

How did you always manage to fuck up the IKYABWAI thing so badly, even after years of beaten-to-death examples and tutorials?

Random insults that have nothing to do with what I just said in 5...4...3...

Van · Post by **Van** » Sun Jun 24, 2012 1:39 am

I'm telling you, Mgo, AP is the single worst poster on the board, bar none. At least bradhusker is just trolling, plus he tries to interject some third-grade humor now and then. AP literally has no redeeming qualities as a poster. Because he's so ornery, he's not even fun to squash.

AP is the stinkbug of smack.

Atomic Punk · Post by **Atomic Punk** » Sun Jun 24, 2012 2:28 am

So anyway Van, it is true you have been trying to form a PM circle jerk? You already have two confirmations on the prior page.

Van · Post by **Van** » Sun Jun 24, 2012 3:12 am

Nope. No PMs. No pow-wows. No nothing. You're just that much of a uniter, not a divider. You bring people together like no other.

Atomic Punk · Post by **Atomic Punk** » Sun Jun 24, 2012 3:28 am

Van wrote:Nope. No PMs. No pow-wows. No nothing. You're just that much of a uniter, not a divider. You bring people together like no other.

I'm not talking about me Vanspin. I'm talking about this from the previous page. Let me remind you.

Truman wrote:Best keep such discussion at PM level Van, lest Merde think you're rallingly the troops.

THEN

Screw_Michigan wrote:
Martyred wrote: Sweet Mary and all the blessed angels...tell me Van DID NOT PM you asking for "help"....
No, he PM'd me. Fucked up, isn't it?

Quite damning, however you'll lie about it and deny.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Sun Jun 24, 2012 3:47 am

They were being sarcastic, you fucking jackass.

R-Jack · Post by **R-Jack** » Sun Jun 24, 2012 4:12 am

Whoa. Things are getting too hot to handle on the smack front. I need to call for some backup. I'm PMing ............Screw Michigan.

Sorry, AP. I'm not seeing it.

Van · Post by **Van** » Sun Jun 24, 2012 5:00 am

Jesus...

No, AP, I did not PM Screwball, nor anyone else for that matter. In fact, if you were at all capable of paying the slightest attention, you would notice that Screwball usually tends to rip on me. He even did so in this very thread. He rarely supports me in anything. Nonetheless, I think it's safe to safe that he still thinks you're a three-toed sloth, but that doesn't mean he lines up to "help" me in any way, shape or form...ever.

Again, you just have this uncanny ability to bring people together. It doesn't matter what else is going on, pretty much everyone here seems to be in agreement that you're a walleyed dullard. Think Napoleon Dynamite with a shittier attitude and lysergic acid-driven visions of badassed grandeur, then dumb it down a metric fuckton, and there you have it.

Roger_the_Shrubber · Post by **Roger_the_Shrubber** » Sun Jun 24, 2012 6:11 am

Van is a doo-doo head.

BTW, what is your opinion of the two front wheel trikes? Being Capt. Cripple, no way I can hold up a bike now, so......just asking. Worth the price?

Van · Post by **Van** » Sun Jun 24, 2012 6:57 am

Those things seem to be kicking ass with the geriatric crowd for precisely that very reason: they're the closest thing possible to riding a bike for people whose arthritic hips and other ailments will not allow them to ride a bike.

I was in a Can-Am dealership two weeks ago, talking with a salesperson about the Spyder's demographics. She confirmed what their sales reports have been saying: lots of women, many first-time 'motorcyclists,' and everyone who still wants to ride but can't.

They're clearly not the same as a two-wheeler. One loses the ability to lane-split and dart through traffic the way they can on a motorcycle, yet they apparently do have a similar appeal in that they impart many of the same sorts of tactile/visceral sensations people look for in the motorcycling experience.

I've only ever ridden one in a parking lot, but I've spoken to some very talented riders I know who tell me that the things are still kind of a blast. I don't know that I wouldn't rather opt for a convertible sportscar to scratch that itch since a Spyder doesn't handle like a bike even as it imposes all the same sorts of inconveniences on its rider as a bike would, but I suppose that if I just had to get out there and feel something akin to the 'riding' experience then a Spyder would be a decent choice for a person who can no longer manage a two-wheeler.

I believe it's safe to say that they're well past the gimmick stage now. They seem to be here to stay, with a steadily growing market share. The ones I checked out a couple of weeks ago were actually pretty cool, and they've got them set up these days to where you can equip them pretty much any way you want, from a stripped down 'sport' model all the way up to a full-boat luxury tourer with sufficient luggage and all the usual upscale traveling amenities.

And, as I've learned to a finite certainty, no motorcycling endorsement is required to purchase or operate one. All in all, yeah, they might be a great way to go for the physically challenged.

Mikey · Post by **Mikey** » Sun Jun 24, 2012 12:46 pm

Papa Willie wrote:

I talked to God

Overdo it with the Makers Mark again?

Truman · Post by **Truman** » Sun Jun 24, 2012 5:13 pm

Funny you bring this up Rog…

I was driving home from work one night this week when I noticed a biker riding a motorcycle with a sidecar.

Strike that –

I noticed a biker riding his motorcycle from his sidecar.

I was behind him, but closer inspection of his home-built sidecar revealed a swing-down ramp in the back for easy roll-on/roll-off of his wheelchair.

Strange as hell to see a bike on the road without a rider up-top, but rack that guy for his ingenuity and for not letting something like a little disability get in the way of his passion for something he clearly loves to do.

Truman · Post by **Truman** » Sun Jun 24, 2012 5:16 pm

Oh, and, Marty- Jack- Screwey: Check your PMs. I've got a GREAT idea for a new pile-on of You-Know-Who...

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Sun Jun 24, 2012 6:07 pm

Truman wrote:Oh, and, Marty- Jack- Screwey: Check your PMs. I've got a GREAT idea for a new pile-on of You-Know-Who...

Just checked my PM's, Tru...

Look, that's a little over-the-top, even for a smack board...the second part of your PM is definitely doable though.

Bizzarofelice · Post by **Bizzarofelice** » Sun Jun 24, 2012 6:15 pm

I'LL BE THE FOUR OF CLUBS!!!!