Roseanne & Chick-Fil-A.

MiketheangrydrunkenCUfan · Sun Aug 05, 2012 8:50 am

88 wrote:*Well, at least as long as those robed oracles share your political bent - I suspect you'd start bleeting a different tune if they decided, for example, that homosexuality was actually a crime against nature and should be punishable by death - a view, by the way, that I do not share.

Only at T1B is such a caveat even necessary...

poptart · Post by **poptart** » Sun Aug 05, 2012 2:23 pm

R-Jack wrote:
Sudden Sam wrote:
Martyred wrote:disruption in Chick-Fil-A's business
The only disruption has been the inability of some stores to stock enough food to handle the increased patronage.
No chicken................... Or are they out of chicken?

bwaaa...

RACK!

mvscal · Post by **mvscal** » Sun Aug 05, 2012 8:28 pm

Jsc810 wrote:How does it feel to be on the wrong side of the same sex marriage issue, as well as picking the losing candidate in the presidential election? Bode and bode.

I'm not on any side of the gay marriage issue nor have I picked Romney to win or give shit either way.
I see the case both for and against gay marriage but couldn't care less. It is an issue that means absolutely nothing to me. Every fag on planet earth could drop dead or live happily ever after in sweet marital bliss and I could not give a fuck if I tried.

Right now Romney v Obama is a push and anyone who says differently is lying or stupid. Ordinarily the incumbent has the advantage but that advantage isn't really showing in the polling. 37 states show Obama with a sub 50% approval rating and there isn't a swing state in the race without being in the margin of error. Obama is not going to exceed his performance of 2008 and I doubt Romney will run as feeble a campaign as McLoon did.

M Club · Post by **M Club** » Mon Aug 06, 2012 3:35 am

Oh, a clarification:

Almost enough to make me rethink my own views on gay marriage.

Poll numbers in August are g'eh. Romney goes from toss-up to shut out as soon as the first debate is over.

Van · Post by **Van** » Mon Aug 06, 2012 4:13 am

Okay, R-Jack has to do a parody video of that thing.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Mon Aug 06, 2012 1:23 pm

ATLANTA—As part of its recent efforts to publicly align itself with fundamentalist Christian values, the Chick-fil-A restaurant chain announced today the debut of its new Queer-Hatin' Cordon Bleu sandwich that would be on sale in all of the company's 1,600 restaurants this Wednesday.

In a press conference to reporters, company representatives said the homophobic new sandwich will include the national fast food chain’s trademark fried chicken filet wrapped in a piece of specially-smoked No Homo ham that would be topped with a slice of Swiss cheese and lathered in a creamy new Thousand Island-based Fag Punching sauce.

"The Queer-Hatin' Cordon Bleu is our company's way of showing our firm commitment to strong, Christian family values," said Chick-fil-A spokesman Robert Gary, before adding that the vehemently anti-gay rights sandwich comes served in a combo with waffle fries and a medium soda for just $6.95. "From the very first morsel of this savory meal to the very last bite, customers can envision gays burning in hell with their sodomizing cohorts, and know that our sandwich is on their side.”

"Of course, the young ones will want to finish their meals off right with a No Fudge Packin' Soft Serve Cone," Gary added. "I can't think of a better way to follow up a sandwich this good."

While the release of the Queer-Hatin’ Cordon Bleu has led to anger from pro-gay rights groups, loyal Chick-fil-A customers claim they are happy they can finally enjoy a sandwich that takes a firm stance on the issue of homosexuality.

"Any sandwich that combines that great Chick-fil-A flavor with a hefty dose of vitriolic homophobia is definitely going to keep me coming back for more," said Atlanta customer John Oaks. “Come Wednesday, I’m going to be first in line for this thing.”

According to sources, the Queer-Hatin’ Cordon Bleu is merely the first of Chick-fil-A’s new family values menu which is set to include the AIDS Is God’s Curse chicken nugget combo and the Fags Caused 9/11 strawberry fruit smoothie.

R-Jack · Post by **R-Jack** » Mon Aug 06, 2012 2:42 pm

Van wrote:Okay, R-Jack has to do a parody video of that thing.

Pass. I would have to watch the whole thing to make a parody. I got three minutes in before I made a time management/quality of life decision.

Mikey · Post by **Mikey** » Mon Aug 06, 2012 3:12 pm

Goober McTuber wrote:
ATLANTA—As part of its recent efforts to publicly align itself with fundamentalist Christian values, the Chick-fil-A restaurant chain announced today the debut of its new Queer-Hatin' Cordon Bleu sandwich that would be on sale in all of the company's 1,600 restaurants this Wednesday.

I smell an Onion.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Mon Aug 06, 2012 4:26 pm

Papa Willie wrote:Fuck. Y'all are still talking about this shit!?

You started it.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Mon Aug 06, 2012 5:23 pm

Sirfindafold · Post by **Sirfindafold** » Mon Aug 06, 2012 9:51 pm

Jsc810 wrote:

I wonder how much tax money was gleaned from chic fil-a's owner and employees to fund that trip? Quite a bit, I suspect.

Too bad that owner can't speak his mind without hearing the snivelings from low-life liberals and shit posters from T1b.

Mikey · Post by **Mikey** » Mon Aug 06, 2012 9:57 pm

Sirfindafold wrote: ...shit posters from T1b.

Another candidate ironic post of the year.

lovebuzz · Post by **lovebuzz** » Mon Aug 06, 2012 10:05 pm

i hope that a couple of people in this thread choke on Chik-Fil-Gay sammiches and that the only person around who knows CPR is gay.

Van · Post by **Van** » Mon Aug 06, 2012 10:12 pm

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Tue Aug 07, 2012 2:36 am

lovebuzz wrote:i hope that a couple of people in this thread choke on Chik-Fil-Gay sammiches and that the only person around who knows CPR is gay.

send Van a PM and nicely ask to quit sniffing your soiled panties... unless you really crave his attention.

but that was just embarrassing.

lovebuzz · Post by **lovebuzz** » Tue Aug 07, 2012 3:14 am

i don't crave Van's attention, you perv.
he gives it willingly. i dig Van. we all dig Van.
don't we ?
what else you got, Pops ?

ps: quit yer bitching. i'm out here whoring my ass out to juice this place up.
you're welcome.

mvscal · Post by **mvscal** » Tue Aug 07, 2012 3:27 am

lovebuzz wrote:i hope that a couple of people in this thread choke on Chik-Fil-Gay sammiches and that the only person around who knows CPR is gay.

What kind of idiot would give CPR to somebody who is choking?

Dr_Phibes · Post by **Dr_Phibes** » Tue Aug 07, 2012 3:30 am

She's Polish.

lovebuzz · Post by **lovebuzz** » Tue Aug 07, 2012 3:30 am

mvscal wrote:What kind of idiot would give CPR to somebody who is choking?

the kind that was too lazy to perform the heimlich maneuver on a fucking homophobe, pissypants.

ps: don't tell that to my Sicilian Dad, Phibes.

trev · Post by **trev** » Tue Aug 07, 2012 3:34 am

Shouldn't you give CPR to a person who is choking (in the meantime) if you can't get the object out?

mvscal · Post by **mvscal** » Tue Aug 07, 2012 5:08 am

trev wrote:Shouldn't you give CPR to a person who is choking (in the meantime) if you can't get the object out?

What the fuck for?

Screw_Michigan · Post by **Screw_Michigan** » Tue Aug 07, 2012 11:52 am

mvscal wrote:
trev wrote:Shouldn't you give CPR to a person who is choking (in the meantime) if you can't get the object out?
What the fuck for?

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Tue Aug 07, 2012 1:05 pm

War Wagon wrote:
lovebuzz wrote:i hope that a couple of people in this thread choke on Chik-Fil-Gay sammiches and that the only person around who knows CPR is gay.
send Van a PM and nicely ask to quit sniffing your soiled panties... unless you really crave his attention.

but that was just embarrassing.

You really have a way with the ladies, Whitey.

Mikey · Post by **Mikey** » Tue Aug 07, 2012 2:41 pm

mvscal wrote:
trev wrote:Shouldn't you give CPR to a person who is choking (in the meantime) if you can't get the object out?
What the fuck for?

Something to pass the time?

ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2 · Tue Aug 07, 2012 3:28 pm

trev wrote:Shouldn't you give CPR to a person who is choking (in the meantime) if you can't get the object out?

If a gay is choking a Chik-Fil-A, then yes, absolutely. CPR. Either that, or fuck 'em in the ass until something comes out.

You're welcome.

poptart · Post by **poptart** » Thu Aug 09, 2012 7:28 am

Mr. Smith's 'apology' to Rachel.

A simple and sincere one minute apology video to Rachel would
have done the trick.

But a Queen does what a Queen does.

Ramble on unnecessarily about... THE ME!!

Nobody cares.
Your @ss was kicked.
You're a loser.

Buh-bye.

trev · Post by **trev** » Thu Aug 09, 2012 3:53 pm

mvscal wrote:
trev wrote:Shouldn't you give CPR to a person who is choking (in the meantime) if you can't get the object out?
What the fuck for?

Because that's what I was taught in the CPR class I just took.

mvscal · Post by **mvscal** » Thu Aug 09, 2012 8:30 pm

trev wrote:
mvscal wrote:
trev wrote:Shouldn't you give CPR to a person who is choking (in the meantime) if you can't get the object out?
What the fuck for?
Because that's what I was taught in the CPR class I just took.

Get your money back and throw your certification in the trash.

Since you still don't get it, I'll help you out. You can't fucking very well artificially breathe for somebody when their fucking airway is blocked by a ham sandwich.

Clear?

trev · Post by **trev** » Thu Aug 09, 2012 8:35 pm

An experienced EMT gave the class. If anyone around me stops breathing for any reason, I will give CPR. Well, maybe not just anyone.

Van · Post by **Van** » Thu Aug 09, 2012 9:05 pm

Which begs the obvious question: If mvscal was choking on a ham sandwich, would you give him CPR?

Rooster · Post by **Rooster** » Thu Aug 09, 2012 9:22 pm

Uhh, pardon me, trev, but should you find me in a situation where I am choking, please refrain giving me CPR until such time as when I fall unconscious and my heart stops beating. In the meantime, feel free to perform the Heimlich Manuever after a finger sweep of my airway prior to you breaking my sternum with your ham fisted attempts at being a good Samaritan. Sheesh, the next thing you're gonna do is waterboard me with a large dose of Jolt Cola "epi" down my nose to jump start my heart. What else did this CPR class teach you? Whipsaw a person's head back and forth to check for spinal injurues?

Mikey · Post by **Mikey** » Thu Aug 09, 2012 9:34 pm

Papa Willie wrote:
Van wrote:Which begs the obvious question: If mvscal was choking on a ham sandwich, would you give him CPR?
No disrespect to mvscal, but can you give CPR with a carefully executed fart?

I've often found that it give better results then smelling salts.

trev · Post by **trev** » Thu Aug 09, 2012 9:36 pm

I would give CPR to most of you, including mvscal. I'm pretty sure he doesn't have any bad diseases I could catch.

Rooster, the CPR is only AFTER the abdominal thrusts aren't working, while you are waiting for help.

Looks like some of you need to renew your CPR certificates.

Van · Post by **Van** » Thu Aug 09, 2012 9:39 pm

trev, just for the record, abdominal thrusts always work.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Fri Aug 10, 2012 1:05 am

mvscal wrote:
trev wrote:
mvscal wrote:
What the fuck for?
Because that's what I was taught in the CPR class I just took.
Get your money back and throw your certification in the trash.

Since you still don't get it, I'll help you out. You can't fucking very well artificially breathe for somebody when their fucking airway is blocked by a ham sandwich.

Clear?

Most CPR training is now is chest compressions only. No kissy-face. The chest compressions just might dislodge the blockage.

trev · Post by **trev** » Fri Aug 10, 2012 1:38 am

It's 30 chest compressions 2 breaths. When in doubt keep pumping. I think I'm up to date, since I just took the course.

ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2 · Fri Aug 10, 2012 2:14 am

trev wrote:It's 30 chest compressions

You've got my attention

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.
.

trev wrote:2 breasts.

Not sure if that's... 'exactly' what you posted, but it's what I saw.

.
.
.

trev wrote:When in doubt keep pumping.

.
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trev wrote:I think I am up for a date.

Fuck yeah!

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Fri Aug 10, 2012 2:32 am

Odd -- my old buddy, the many-life-saving paramedic says they don't teach mouth-to-mouth anymore, since chest compressions are much more important, and it moves the lungs a bit anyway.

trev · Post by **trev** » Fri Aug 10, 2012 2:51 am

I don't want to get Ucan't more riled up, but deep pumping at a steady pace is more important. The 30 pumps, 2 breaths are still taught. But it's leaning towards more chest compressions in the future.

You all really should take a CPR course every 2 years. It really saves lives.

mvscal · Post by **mvscal** » Fri Aug 10, 2012 3:25 am

trev wrote:deep pumping at a steady pace is more important.

Indeed. There might not be anything more important in the entire history of the human race.