(!) Stay tuned for my escapades as a single man.... (!)

R-Jack · Post by **R-Jack** » Fri Sep 07, 2012 12:11 am

i can't get into too many details at the moment, as shit is going to fly and fly high tomorrow.

Needless to say, events have transpired and discoveries have been made that lead me to conclusion that someone does not want to be married. When that someone happens to be married to you, lively discussions are soon to follow as well as furniture being hastily and agressively re-arranged.

I'll update you all on the misadventures of Captain Cuckold soon enough. I just wanted you to give you folks early notice so you all have the opportunity to get all your sucking black cock, sucking unwashed Arab cock, failure as a husband, white trash, and equestrian smack lined up and ready to roll.

Do me proud, and go fuck yourselves.

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Fri Sep 07, 2012 12:26 am

Are you organising some sort of troll-stop? Is that what this is?

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Fri Sep 07, 2012 12:27 am

Sorry to hear that, jack.

Who the fukk am I kidding? I look forward to all the gory details of your impending debauchery.

Screw_Michigan · Post by **Screw_Michigan** » Fri Sep 07, 2012 12:28 am

Sorry about that (rack you), Rick! Good luck! Don't do anything stupid.

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Fri Sep 07, 2012 12:42 am

R-Jack wrote:failure as a husband

that may be debatable and open to interpretation.

but I'm pretty sure you have kid(s) so the failure as a father part may not be.

good luck, whatever happens.

Derron · Post by **Derron** » Fri Sep 07, 2012 1:02 am

Pretty much interested in the story of the first skank that you can grudge fuck and blow a load all over her face..that is more entertaining than the marriage failure thing, which a lot of us have been through.

Word to the wise here dude, cover your ass and cover it well. When that shit goes bad, it goes real fucking bad. It will cost you loads of money, and make you feel like a putz...but it takes two to fuck up, so don't load it all on yourself.

Good luck..

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Fri Sep 07, 2012 1:08 am

Did all this transpire because you were unable to perform your...

...marital duties?...

P.S. Since it's over now, go ahead and tell us...would you say she was more of a "gusher" or a "squirter"? Goobs asked me to ask you.

poptart · Post by **poptart** » Fri Sep 07, 2012 1:11 am

R-Jack wrote:lively discussions are soon to follow as well as furniture being hastily and agressively re-arranged.

PET or nobody gives a shit.

Screw_Michigan · Post by **Screw_Michigan** » Fri Sep 07, 2012 1:23 am

poptart wrote: PET or nobody gives a shit.

OCmike · Post by **OCmike** » Fri Sep 07, 2012 1:37 am

You're not getting divorced, you're just finishing up your practice marriage.

As you head into the final showdown, since there's kids involved, you're much better off keeping it clean and passive aggressive than going roid rage and trashing the place. Remember that from the milli-second that your marriage is over, everything you do will be micro-analyzed in family court and will be used to determine how often you'll be able to see your kids and if there's court supervision involved. If you flip out, she'll paint you as an out of control asshole who's a danger to her and the kids.

And as an added bonus, if you don't flip out, since chicks overanalyze everything, it'll fuck with her mind for years.

Dr_Phibes · Post by **Dr_Phibes** » Fri Sep 07, 2012 1:45 am

Toddowen wrote: History has shown R-jack to be too intelligent to air his skivies on the same clothes line as Otis, Irie, inky, et al...

Yeah, but he also likes a fight.

poptart · Post by **poptart** » Fri Sep 07, 2012 2:14 am

Jsc810 wrote:Sorry to hear about this. It will suck. No matter what, it will suck, and it will hurt.

But guess what. Things will get much better. Try to remember that when things get down.

You are a father. Concentrate on that, put much effort into it. Your kids will get through this, the more you love them the easier it will be for them. And for you too.

Also, see a lawyer immediately, before the confrontation with your wife if at all possible.

Keep your head up, take the high road, and stay positive.

Good job!

Now Vogel doesn't have to post in this thread.

jiminphilly · Post by **jiminphilly** » Fri Sep 07, 2012 2:38 am

Derron wrote:Pretty much interested in the story of the first skank that you can grudge fuck and blow a load all over her face..that is more entertaining than the marriage failure thing, which a lot of us have been through.

I met this girl who had a pet pig that she kept in an apartment...

Van · Post by **Van** » Fri Sep 07, 2012 2:42 am

At first I paused, thinking, 'April Fool's prank.' Then, after doing a quick mental scroll and realizing that we're in September, I decided it was still a troll job. I'm with Toddowen in thinking R-Jack wouldn't burp up something this serious on the board.

If this is legit, I'll wait until I hear the rest of the story before offering either condolences or congratulations.

Dr_Phibes · Post by **Dr_Phibes** » Fri Sep 07, 2012 2:47 am

I'd keep in mind the fact that he announced he was a haberdasher and if anyone had a problem with that.

R-Jack · Post by **R-Jack** » Fri Sep 07, 2012 3:32 am

Oh no, Van. It's real. It's very real.

Marital issues tend to get in the way of pissing off tards, calling people faggots, ranking whores, resetting tired old phrases and reminding AP that he is AP. In short, this is less sudden for me than it is for you.

pron · Post by **pron** » Fri Sep 07, 2012 3:45 am

R-Jack wrote:ranking whores

R-Jack · Post by **R-Jack** » Fri Sep 07, 2012 3:46 am

1,3,2

mvscal · Post by **mvscal** » Fri Sep 07, 2012 3:51 am

Well if you have any compromising or scandalous photos of your ex, it would be safe to post them here.

R-Jack · Post by **R-Jack** » Fri Sep 07, 2012 3:59 am

The pics and/or vids are long gone and no one here want to see my crank anyway.

jiminphilly · Post by **jiminphilly** » Fri Sep 07, 2012 4:07 am

R-Jack wrote:no one here want to see my crank anyway.

Too bad Irie doesn't post here.

Van · Post by **Van** » Fri Sep 07, 2012 4:32 am

Well, if this is for real—R-Jack getting cheated on by his soccer mom wife, rather than doing the cheating himself?—it has the makings of a ~~nice~~ ~~fair-to-middling~~ ~~damn good~~ archive-worthy thread.

It also means there's hope for trev's lonvely vagina.

Atomic Punk · Post by **Atomic Punk** » Fri Sep 07, 2012 4:47 am

R-Jack wrote:... failure in animal husbandry,

FTFY

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Animal_husbandry

She prolly read this board and found out what a dick head you are and that you spend more time on here rather than nurturing a relationship with her.

R-Jack · Post by **R-Jack** » Fri Sep 07, 2012 5:00 am

The story of what went down is a long and drawn out one, like most situations like this I'm sure. I'll break it up in chunks so it's easier for you mouthbreathers to digest.

About three and a half years ago, my wife and I joined a gym that was opening by our house. She felt like she wanted to work off some of the baby weight. I went along with it, knowing I had let myself go quite a bit (215 lbs) and wanted to get into some type of respectable shape. We both took to it like a sponge. The staff was great. We had friends in the kid care at the place and over time it became part of our family routine. We saw improvement in each other and that motivated us.

Thankully that dedication stuck, as a toned 175 lbs who can see his dick without the aid of a mirror will serve me better on the open market.

About two years ago, she starts getting into CrossFit. It's basically high intensity next level douchebag workouts for people who don't realize that circuit training has existed for decades. She takes a liking to it and it takes a liking to her. As she becomes more dedicated to Crossfit, she starts getting sculped in a hurry. She is at the top of her class and is looking hot as fuck. The byproduct of her Crossfit love is that we are not going to work out together anymore, which isn't really a big deal because I am a fairly task driven, anti-social, no thanks to the steam room offer from KC Scott type of guy at the gym. Not to mention I get a kick out of Dave, a trainer at the gym who is also a Crossfit instructor, raving on and on about how she is head and shoulders above any other women doing it and letting other guys at the gym know I am the lucky guy married to his prized pupil.

More on him later................

Y2K · Post by **Y2K** » Fri Sep 07, 2012 5:27 am

PSUFAN · Post by **PSUFAN** » Fri Sep 07, 2012 5:52 am

Atomic Punk wrote:
R-Jack wrote:... failure in animal husbandry,
FTFY

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Animal_husbandry

She prolly read this board and found out what a dick head you are and that you spend more time on here rather than nurturing a relationship with her.

I was just about ready to rack AP...but the totally egregious wikipedia documentation killed it? Close shave, there.

Atomic Punk · Post by **Atomic Punk** » Fri Sep 07, 2012 6:22 am

I'm pretty sure this Crossfit "Dave" isn't our PUSFAG as our Dave is as much anti-social as yourself.

Easy to see here R-Joke... this Dave is attracted to those with lengthened maxilla and mandible bones in the facial structure.

Think I'm going to let off after all of these years of you and the shit trolls going after me? You dug your own grave years ago and now you are going to get payback bitch. I tried to be cool with you and you attacked me once again today.

Please go on... as I know you're trolling. I just want to call you names, etc.

Truman · Post by **Truman** » Fri Sep 07, 2012 8:36 am

Count your blessings, Jack:

At least you're not AP....

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Fri Sep 07, 2012 10:30 am

Atomic Punk wrote:I tried to be cool with you and you attacked me once again today.

Everybody attacks you. Even Vogel is glad he's not AP.

Screw_Michigan · Post by **Screw_Michigan** » Fri Sep 07, 2012 12:10 pm

R-Jack wrote:Dave, a trainer at the gym who is also a Crossfit instructor, raving on and on about how she is head and shoulders above any other women doing it and letting other guys at the gym know I am the lucky guy married to his prized pupil.

Of course, she's banging the trainer. Sorry to hear that. It's so predictable. And, of course, she'll blame it on you. Who hasn't heard this story before?

Terry in Crapchester · Fri Sep 07, 2012 1:03 pm

R-Jack wrote:Marital issues tend to get in the way of pissing off tards, calling people faggots, ranking whores, resetting tired old phrases and reminding AP that he is AP. In short, this is less sudden for me than it is for you.

Sorry to hear this, and yes, I can relate to this 1000%. Biggest difference is that it seems to be moving in slow motion for me by comparison, if for no other reason than I hate confrontation.

jiminphilly · Post by **jiminphilly** » Fri Sep 07, 2012 1:18 pm

Terry in Crapchester wrote:
R-Jack wrote:Marital issues tend to get in the way of pissing off tards, calling people faggots, ranking whores, resetting tired old phrases and reminding AP that he is AP. In short, this is less sudden for me than it is for you.
Sorry to hear this, and yes, I can relate to this 1000%. Biggest difference is that it seems to be moving in slow motion for me by comparison, if for no other reason than I hate confrontation.

For those of you that are in a slowing moving downward spiral of a marriage in which you and your spouse have pretty much given up but "stay together" for the sake of your kids, you're doing more harm to them than good.. As long as you can co-parent with you ex, the kids will be fine.

Terry in Crapchester · Fri Sep 07, 2012 1:35 pm

jiminphilly wrote:
Terry in Crapchester wrote:
R-Jack wrote:Marital issues tend to get in the way of pissing off tards, calling people faggots, ranking whores, resetting tired old phrases and reminding AP that he is AP. In short, this is less sudden for me than it is for you.
Sorry to hear this, and yes, I can relate to this 1000%. Biggest difference is that it seems to be moving in slow motion for me by comparison, if for no other reason than I hate confrontation.

For those of you that are in a slowing moving downward spiral of a marriage in which you and your spouse have pretty much given up but "stay together" for the sake of your kids, you're doing more harm to them than good.. As long as you can co-parent with you ex, the kids will be fine.

Fwiw, I had divorce papers at the ready until I found out she might have uterine cancer, then I shelved them. Whatever else my flaws, I refuse to allow myself to become Newt Gingrich.

Van · Post by **Van** » Fri Sep 07, 2012 2:45 pm

Jsc810 wrote:
Terry in Crapchester wrote:I hate confrontation.
And you became a lawyer?

And you still post on this board?

Have you seen his wife?

-mvscal

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Fri Sep 07, 2012 3:01 pm

Terry in Crapchester wrote:Fwiw, I had divorce papers at the ready until I found out she might have uterine cancer, then I shelved them.

Oh sure. Just let God do the dirty work.

Terry in Crapchester · Fri Sep 07, 2012 5:33 pm

Goober McTuber wrote:
Terry in Crapchester wrote:Fwiw, I had divorce papers at the ready until I found out she might have uterine cancer, then I shelved them.
Oh sure. Just let God do the dirty work.

If I wait for that, chances are I'll be waiting an awfully long while. She'll probably outlive me.

lovebuzz · Post by **lovebuzz** » Fri Sep 07, 2012 8:38 pm

Toddowen wrote:History has shown R-jack to be too intelligent to air his skivies on the same clothes line as Otis, Irie, inky, et al.

Everybody's got their shit, some of us are just more open and honest about it than others...
and some of us just don't value the inconsequential opinions of those that aren't true well wishers.

Plenty of decent advice in this thread already. Posts from Roach and Jsc come to mind.

Divorce definitely sucks. Moreso if children are involved and the parental units are incapable or unwilling to set aside their own BS.
Sound advice, a quality support system, an effective attorney and logic are your friends in this situation.

ps: above all else, regardless of how drunk you may or may not get -
do not let anyone ever convince you that becoming phone buddies with AP is in any way, a remotely good idea

ps: Rack you, R-Jack for being fit inside and out. The impending escapades will def increase your board cred.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Fri Sep 07, 2012 8:49 pm

lovebuzz wrote:At the risk of alarming the creepy spreadsheet brigade, I'll cautiously admit

"You're going to need a bigger spreadsheet."

Trampis · Post by **Trampis** » Fri Sep 07, 2012 9:22 pm

For awhile I didnt post here, then I found out the board had uterine cancer and I thought I would try again for the sake of the kids.

I hope for the love of god you two didnt get matching tatoos like is so often done in todays wannabe hip culture.

Must suck to have your wife fuck around with a P.E. teacher.

Remember, a proper "scene" is only complete if it makes the local paper

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Fri Sep 07, 2012 10:04 pm

poptart wrote:
R-Jack wrote:lively discussions are soon to follow as well as furniture being hastily and agressively re-arranged.
PET or nobody gives a shit.

A "I'm divorcing you" VET.

Now that would be one for the ages.

Sorry to hear this, Jack. The moral of the story here is clear: keep your woman just plump enough so as to avoid any significant increase in self-confidence or sexual attraction from others. Fortunately for me, I like my women with a little meat on their bones.

Good luck on the impending hell fight, and before you get booted out, make sure to drop an upper decker.