What a shit weekend

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Mon Sep 17, 2012 4:52 am

First, Michigan State gets starfish-fisted by Notre Dame at home. Then the Tigers drop another game back in the Central. Then the Lions (predictably) get cunt-smacked by the '9ers on the road. Although I will say they hung in tough. They ran the ball way too much. YOU HAVE ARGUABLY THE BEST PASSING GAME IN THE LEAGUE. USE IT, YOU STUPID ASSHOLES. When you're averaging 1 yard per carry up the gut, you should probably cut that shit out by the time the 10 minute mark rolls around in the 4th quarter. Just sayin'. That Calvin Johnson guy is kinda good.

The lone highlight of the weekend was tonight at the bar watching the Lions game. The staff went around the bar giving out raffle tickets, and they said that the people with the two winning tickets would get a chance to compete in a wing eating competition, and to the victor would go their choice of a Lions/49ers jersey. We're at a bar in fucking Michigan. Why a Niners jersey was even on the table, I don't know. Although I will say the 9ers have much sleeker unis than the Lions. Perhaps the best unis in all of pro sports. Simple, clean, sharp. Regal.

In any event... I told my buddy next to me, "I never win shit like this, but if I do win, I'll just give you my ticket." He said, "Seriously?" I said, "Yeah, I'm not really a jersey kind of guy." I figured winning that raffle would actually be a dilemma. Not only would I probably lose that contest, but I'd be stuck with a burning-hot mouth. The challenge was to eat the most flaming, scalding, burning hot wings you could in two minutes. Not to mention I was already full from eating dinner and pounding a few beers beforehand. Just wasn't in the mood for that bullshit.

So the half is over and they announce the winners. Sure enough, I'm one of the two winning tickets. The only time in my fucking life I didn't want to win a raffle ticket...I won. So this is when my negotiation skills start to kick in. I tell me buddy that I'll give him the ticket straight up if he buys me a couple of premium beers...Bell's Two Hearted. I figure I'm getting two excellent 24 oz beers, and I don't have to do anything accept give up a raffle ticket that I didn't even want in the first place. He accepts. Then, some loud-mouthed dipshit at the end of the bar approaches us. He's going on about how he's 16-0 in these wing-eating competitions. He said he used to work at this bar, and went into fine detail about exactly how hot these wings are prepared, and exactly the technique one should apply to consume them at an efficient and rapid pace. He was convincing and made me a believer. So I told my friend that he should make a deal with this guy: If he wins, you'll give him 20 bucks cash and a beer on your tab. But my buddy keeps the jersey. This was a good deal, since it was an authentic Lions jersey. Those things are worth some coin. Funny thing is, both guys wanted the jersey really bad. They were both passionate about it. I wouldn't wear a football jersey if you paid me by the hour, but whatever. Different strokes.

So my buddy accepts the deal. The wing-eating guy ends up smoking his competition versus some short, skinny-ass Mexican dude. So I get 48 ounces of my favorite beer, my buddy gets his dorky Matt Stafford jersey, and this obnoxious loser gets 17-0 bragging rights and some cash in his pocket. Everybody won.

Yeah, yeah...who gives a fuck.

M Club · Post by **M Club** » Mon Sep 17, 2012 9:36 am

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:Then the Tigers drop another game back in the Central.

you see the other day when ventura scratched floyd for quintana for the makeup game? fucker's makes pitching changes even when no one's playing an actual game. wouldn't care otherwise except johnny marlboro's going to take the bait and run out raburn and worth, probably even let delmon play a 1st for the day.

Screw_Michigan · Post by **Screw_Michigan** » Mon Sep 17, 2012 11:18 am

I'm not reading all that.

Wolfman · Post by **Wolfman** » Mon Sep 17, 2012 11:53 am

Yeah, yeah...who gives a fuck.
Mark your calendar. MGO is correct about something, and Screwy made a wise decision.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Mon Sep 17, 2012 1:16 pm

Sudden Sam wrote: La-Monroe

pray for him.

Smackie Chan · Post by **Smackie Chan** » Mon Sep 17, 2012 1:55 pm

Sudden Sam wrote:Webb Wilder...absolutely kicks ass.

Heartily agree.

"Work hard, rock hard, eat hard, sleep hard, grow big, wear glasses if you need 'em!"

Terry in Crapchester · Mon Sep 17, 2012 2:32 pm

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:First, Michigan State gets starfish-fisted by Notre Dame at home.

Personally, I loved that one.

Although, to be totally fair, I think we saw Sparty at its absolute worst on Saturday. You guys are better than that. Bell is a beast (our defensive gameplan was designed to keep him in check, and we largely succeeded on that point, but he still averaged 4 ypc). The B1G is down this year, so at least at this point, I still have you guys as the favorites out of that conference (although that wouldn't be the case if tOSU were eligible this year).

Why a Niners jersey was even on the table, I don't know. Although I will say the 9ers have much sleeker unis than the Lions. Perhaps the best unis in all of pro sports. Simple, clean, sharp. Regal.

Smh, but their unis back in the 80's were better than they are today.

Smackie Chan · Post by **Smackie Chan** » Mon Sep 17, 2012 2:39 pm

Terry in Crapchester wrote:our defensive gameplan was designed to keep him in check, and we largely succeeded on that point

You their defensive coordinator? Props on getting that gig.

M Club · Post by **M Club** » Mon Sep 17, 2012 3:09 pm

Terry in Crapchester wrote: Smh

can't help now but think of this:

Screw_Michigan · Post by **Screw_Michigan** » Mon Sep 17, 2012 3:12 pm

Terry in Crapchester wrote: Smh, but their unis back in the 80's were better than they are today.

They're basically the same thing, idiot.

Van · Post by **Van** » Mon Sep 17, 2012 3:14 pm

Tic wrote:Although, to be totally fair

Please, please, please, please, PLEASE stop writing that.

God, it's gone well beyond nails on a chalkboard.

In fact, mods, can we get a moratorium on that one up in this bitch? Not for everyone, mind you...just for Mister Can't Make a Point Without Neutering It Right Outta the Gate.

Dude's keyboard probably sports a Mr. Rodgers/Dan Vogel woolly sweater.

Smackie Chan · Post by **Smackie Chan** » Mon Sep 17, 2012 3:29 pm

Van wrote:
Tic wrote:Although, to be totally fair
can we get a moratorium on that one up in this bitch?

Is it too early to ask for a moratorium on up in this bitch up in this bitch?

Terry in Crapchester · Mon Sep 17, 2012 4:11 pm

Screw_Michigan wrote:
Terry in Crapchester wrote: Smh, but their unis back in the 80's were better than they are today.
They're basically the same thing, idiot.

Since you weren't even alive for a considerable portion of the 80's, let me show you the difference:

Jerseys in the 80's:

Jerseys today:

A few differences:

- White horizontal stripes on sleeves were spaced farther apart in the 80's than today.
- Number on sleeves down near tricep area in 80's, on the shoulder today
- Darker red color today than in the 80's.

What I really didn't like was the jerseys they wore in between:

In particular, the black bordering of the numbers.

But at least the primary color scheme hasn't really changed, so I guess they have that going for them.

M Club · Post by **M Club** » Mon Sep 17, 2012 4:23 pm

Terry in Crapchester wrote:....

so basically the same thing.

Van · Post by **Van** » Mon Sep 17, 2012 4:29 pm

Smackie Chan wrote:
Van wrote:
Tic wrote:Although, to be totally fair
can we get a moratorium on that one up in this bitch?
Is it too early to ask for a moratorium on up in this bitch up in this bitch?

Fair enough. Although, to be fair, I certainly cannot be accused of overusing that 'up in this bitch' phrase. That may have been the first time I ever used it here.

Anyway, yes, one moratorium deserves another, and I will be happy to post in accordance with this ruling.

Terry in Crapchester · Mon Sep 17, 2012 4:41 pm

M Club wrote:
Terry in Crapchester wrote:....
so basically the same thing.

If you can't see the differences (after I pointed them out), then I guess I can't help you.

I tend to be in the "if it ain't broke, . . ." school of thought, and the Niners' jerseys in the 80's definitely weren't broke.

Van · Post by **Van** » Mon Sep 17, 2012 4:46 pm

I have to agree with Terry here on all counts. Liked the '80s jerseys much better, and I hate the blah new pants with the skinny stripes. I also hated those Steve Young-era black drop-shadow numbers.

Biggie · Post by **Biggie** » Mon Sep 17, 2012 4:46 pm

Van wrote:I certainly cannot be accused of overusing that 'up in this bitch' phrase. That may have been the first time I ever used it here.

Twice in Q1 2009. Otherwise, you're clean.

M Club · Post by **M Club** » Mon Sep 17, 2012 4:48 pm

Terry in Crapchester wrote:
M Club wrote:
Terry in Crapchester wrote:....
so basically the same thing.
If you can't see the differences (after I pointed them out), then I guess I can't help you.

I tend to be in the "if it ain't broke, . . ." school of thought, and the Niners' jerseys in the 80's definitely weren't broke.

i tend to be in the "you're just speaking to her yourself talk" school of thought. wow, big fucking differences. or as most sane people would call them, tweaks.

Van · Post by **Van** » Mon Sep 17, 2012 4:49 pm

Biggie wrote:
I certainly cannot be accused of overusing that 'up in this bitch' phrase. That may have been the first time I ever used it here.
Twice in Q1 2009. Otherwise, you're clean.

Twice? Shit. Was I at least quoting someone?

Terry in Crapchester · Mon Sep 17, 2012 4:55 pm

Terry in Crapchester wrote:
M Club wrote:
Terry in Crapchester wrote:If you can't see the differences (after I pointed them out), then I guess I can't help you.

I tend to be in the "if it ain't broke, . . ." school of thought, and the Niners' jerseys in the 80's definitely weren't broke.
i tend to be in the "you're just speaking to her yourself talk" school of thought. wow, big fucking differences. or as most sane people would call them, tweaks.

The pants are a completely different color now than they were in the 80's, although we weren't talking about pants at first. Ditto shoes (black today, white in the 80's).

There's also the Nike swoosh on today's jerseys. I'm not a big fan of the corporatization that's going on, although that particular ship apparently has sailed.

Smackie Chan · Post by **Smackie Chan** » Mon Sep 17, 2012 4:56 pm

Van wrote:I certainly cannot be accused of overusing that 'up in this bitch' phrase. That may have been the first time I ever used it here.

I've used it more than once, and likely will again even if a moratorium is imposed. I'm a rebel like that.

M Club · Post by **M Club** » Mon Sep 17, 2012 5:06 pm

Terry in Crapchester wrote: The pants are a completely different color now than they were in the 80's, although we weren't talking about pants at first. Ditto shoes (black today, white in the 80's).

There's also the Nike swoosh on today's jerseys. I'm not a big fan of the corporatization that's going on, although that particular ship apparently has sailed.

pant colors? now you're just reaching. probably has more to do with the camera filters than anything else.

if subtle shifts in color count as entirely different uniforms then teams like michigan, ohio state, and even notre dame change their shit up almost as much as oregon.

and that wilson logo is so much more benign than the nike swoosh.

not sure if you're aware but uniform technology has resulted in much smaller uniforms. pretty sure most people would regard pittsburgh as having the same uniforms as they did back in the 70s even though numbers and stripes may have been tweaked to account for things like sleeves having gone missing.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Mon Sep 17, 2012 5:16 pm

Terry in Crapchester wrote:Although, to be totally fair, I think we saw Sparty at its absolute worst on Saturday. You guys are better than that.

Which is precisely the problem. The object is to be good. Home game, prime time, national TV audience, against a top 20 rival, and you don't even show up? Even if they are "better than that," it doesn't matter. The result is all that matters.

Bell is a beast (our defensive gameplan was designed to keep him in check, and we largely succeeded on that point, but he still averaged 4 ypc).

I was extremely disappointed with the offensive play-calling. I think Dan Roushar is the only weak link on this coaching staff. He panics and abandons the run game way too early. I thought Bell was doing fine early on. He was bowling forward for about 4 yards per carry consistently, which would have set up quick and simple screens and passes, and they might have been able to methodically move the ball down the field. But the biggest issue was the offensive line. Pass protection was supposed to be a strength of this team, but it was horrible Saturday night. ND was able to rush 3 all night long and pressure Maxwell. Amazing to me he didn't throw any picks considering he had no time, nobody was open and because he chucked it 45 times.

The other big issue was simply the lack of big plays. Not one single, token "big play" from the offense or defense. Just sitting around waiting for someone to make a play and turn the momentum around. Never happened. LBs dropping INTs that fall right into their hands. Just brutal.

And yeah, lots of credit to ND and all that. They did stuff to force a lot of that. Was extremely impressed with ND's defensive line. I thought Golson was good too. MSU did a reasonably good job containing him, but he came up with some big isolated plays. Those plays were largely the difference in the game. Before the game Dantonio compared him to Russell Wilson, and yeah, I can see the similarities.

The B1G is down this year, so at least at this point, I still have you guys as the favorites out of that conference (although that wouldn't be the case if tOSU were eligible this year).

That's the silver lining. Still got a chance to get cunt punted by USC in the Rose Bowl since the rest of the B1G is so bad. At this point I think the winner of that UofM/MSU game in Ann Arbor will decide who goes to Pasadena since they'd be playing...Purdue?...in the CCG.

Van · Post by **Van** » Mon Sep 17, 2012 5:18 pm

Whereas today's unis are more of a traditional gold, the Niners' pants and helmets in the '80s were a little closer to the "Old Gold" color the Pittsburgh Pirates used in the '60s and '70s.

They weren't as bright as the ones they're wearing now. I much prefer the '80s pants and helmets, as well as the jerseys and white shoes. Basically, yeah...everything.

M Club · Post by **M Club** » Mon Sep 17, 2012 5:26 pm

which brings us back to they're basically the same thing.

Smackie Chan · Post by **Smackie Chan** » Mon Sep 17, 2012 6:12 pm

M Club wrote:which brings us back to they're basically the same thing.

Only different.

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Tue Sep 18, 2012 12:42 am

equal time up in this bitch, bitches.

Van · Post by **Van** » Tue Sep 18, 2012 1:05 am

Man, the Oilers sure had great unis.

mvscal · Post by **mvscal** » Tue Sep 18, 2012 4:20 am

Yeah. The Browns? Not so much. I wonder if that dude still has a right arm.

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Tue Sep 18, 2012 11:24 pm

Van wrote:Man, the Oilers sure had great unis.

Rumps was going on about his beloved Texans in the NFL forum and I'm like wha...?

I guess I can't blame him but when Houston and football are mentioned in the same breath I'll always think first of the Oilers. Fuck Bud Adams.

Not sure how I'd react if the Chiefs were ever to leave KC (unthinkable!) and be replaced by another team but it wouldn't be well and I'd never say I loved them.

Go Coogs' · Post by **Go Coogs'** » Tue Sep 18, 2012 11:53 pm

This thread did not turn out the way I anicipated.

The Oiler unis were tops, but they never belonged here. Fuck'em.

Left Seater · Post by **Left Seater** » Wed Sep 19, 2012 5:57 pm

Long way from this: (2:45 to 3:18)

to this: (fast wind to 4:30 mark to see him trying to walk)

Edit

Also as a bonus fast wind to 6:15 and watch the Ref mess up the coin toss. He tossed it and it managed to land on its side so he flipped it again.

Van · Post by **Van** » Thu Sep 20, 2012 12:09 am

Agreed. The powder blue Charger unis without the numbers on the helmets are one of the very best we've ever had.

Terry in Crapchester · Thu Sep 20, 2012 5:16 pm

Van wrote:
Tic wrote:Although, to be totally fair
Please, please, please, please, PLEASE stop writing that.

God, it's gone well beyond nails on a chalkboard.

In fact, mods, can we get a moratorium on that one up in this bitch? Not for everyone, mind you...just for Mister Can't Make a Point Without Neutering It Right Outta the Gate.

Dude's keyboard probably sports a Mr. Rodgers/Dan Vogel woolly sweater.

I realize this was posted in the main forum, and the rules of engagement here are a little different from those on the BTPCF forum . . .

But that being said, I was trying to show a little class in victory. I could've come with "that's why you're Michigan State" or some similar douchnozzle move, but I was trying to show some class.

And this is the thanks I get????

Sheeez, there really is no pleasing some people here.

T1B

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