Update of my life

[Dickbag]

As some of you may remember from my last visit here, I was looking for a job since getting released from the county jail for some stupid shit the courts basically deemed sexually unlawful. Whatever. I just call it living my life. Fast forward to a few weeks ago, and I got this temp gig as a mail room clerk for a large insurance company. It's not bad. I get an hour lunch, and the chicks here are hot as fuck. Plus I don't have to talk to anybody which is HUGE. That means I can drink on the job, which is convenient considering I'm a diehard alcoholic.

Anyway, we got a few 20-somethings...you know, skinny, long legs, tight asses, supple tits. Yyeah......not my bag. I like big, fat sluts in their mid-40s with awful makeup and giant, low hanging tits and lower self-esteem. That's Pam to a tee, one of our secretaries.

The other day I saw Pam outside on her smoke break. She wears this garish red lipstick which looks so fucking hot when she sucks down a half a pack of smokes. Her hair is bleach blonde with brown streaks, and it probably feels like a nest of small twigs from the gallons of Rave she sprays in that thing every morning. It's so crusty and trashy that it makes my dick rock hard just thinking about it. Also, the fact that she stands right next to the dumpster while she smokes just makes the whole scene so much hotter. In my dreams, she breaks out the smoker's cough and a half-eaten Whopper. But only in my dreams.

That gave me all the ammo I needed that day. At precisely 5:04 every day, I go into our office bathroom and rub one out to some skank I've stored in the spank bank. That day it was Pam. With the thought of those voluptuous, cancerous dick-sucking lips, I whipped out my cock and started going to town in the handicap stall. I like the handicap stall because I can latch onto the grab bar while I blow my load.

So I'm beating my dick like a baboon in the wild, and in comes who else but the Mexican janitor.

FUCK.

I guess he got an early start tonight. Well, I'm not stopping now, this load is going to be one for the ages, and I'll be DAMNED if I let Jose spank-block this geyser of relief. So I keep pumping away, while of course feeling my balls, only to discover, through the cracks of my stall, that he's tapping open the stall doors with his knuckles to...inspect for toilet paper? I don't fucking know. All I know is he must not hear me WINNING, as he tries to tap open my door.

And to my horror if fucking OPENS. I FORGOT TO LOCK THE FUCKING DOOR. FUCK FUCK FUCK.

At this point it's way too late to turn off this fire hose that's about to extinguish the flames that are my thoughts of Pam's ass cellulite, and when that door cracks open, Jose and I make direct eye contact. He just stands there frozen. But that wasn't the worst part. I aim for the side of the stall, but as I'm unloading, a few stray semen speckles shoot up and hit old boy square in the face.

He wipes his face in shock and awe, drops his mop, and bolts out of the bathroom. I sit there for 10 seconds, contemplating what just happened, then I my jerk my pants back up, and I fucking BOOK out of that place, heading down the stairwell, out the rear exit, and head for the woods with my belt dragging on the ground.

I haven't returned.

[Shlomart Ben Yisrael]

...drops his mop...

"NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

Sincerely, Screwey

[Screw_Michigan]

Rack the fuck out of Dickbag!

[PSUFAN]

That was HOT. How old did you say you are?

--Sandusky

[The Seer]

You have the same "Rudy" like work habits as our looney tune pal...or of someone with more time than money....Everyone gets to play and it doesn't matter who wins...

Schmick.

[lovebuzz]

I like big, fat sluts in their mid-40s with awful makeup and giant, low hanging tits and lower self-esteem.

call me ?