Wags, unburden your soul, drag your family out of the closet

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Thu Sep 27, 2012 1:26 am

So, let me see if I got this right:

Your daughter is a gym teacher...

She's a softball player...

...and she lives with ~~her life-partner~~ female roommate...

...and you're still in denial?

Come on, man.

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Thu Sep 27, 2012 1:53 am

you want me talk about my daughter?

I'd love too, but since I know nobody else cares, I'll pass....

oh hell, fuck that... you asked

She's not a player anymore, she's the head softball coach at a state juco, as well as teaching 5 classes a day. Straight out of college with a masters degree, she got the job within 1 month of graduation making $38.5k a year.

She inherited a shit team. I went and saw their first game, it was painful to watch. As bad as watching Buffalo demolish the Chiefs,only worse. I figured they'd be lucky to ever win a game this year.

They just evened their record at 2-2 this past weekend, beating a D-II school in the process. She was a damn good player, she's going to be an even better coach

Any more questions about my daughter?

mvscal · Post by **mvscal** » Thu Sep 27, 2012 1:58 am

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Thu Sep 27, 2012 2:00 am

War Wagon wrote:
Any more questions about my daughter?

I got a few. Give me some time to craft them into rapier-sharp barbs disguised as friendly banter.

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Thu Sep 27, 2012 2:04 am

Wags, do you feel disappointment that you'll never hold your own biological grandchild?

Also, does your daughter sit on the couch in her sweat pants, pouring over the utility bills on the coffee table with ESPN on the tube, while her "roommate" bakes muffins?

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Thu Sep 27, 2012 2:17 am

I doubt there's anything you could write that I haven't seen before... or that could make me mad at you.

Wifey says she isn't a lesbian, I dunno'. I guess I don't care, but grandchildren to dote over sure would be nice.

It's her life, she can do what she wants and I'll still be proud of her. With her first paycheck she went out and bought a new car, replacing the broke dick 2004 Chevy Cavalier I had bought for her when she first went off to college.

She bought a freaking Toyota and parked it in my driveway. grrr... if I can deal with that, I can deal with her being a lesbian.

Is she puts an Obama sticker on it and tries to park in my driveway though, I'm slashing her tires.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Thu Sep 27, 2012 2:53 am

War Wagon wrote:Wifey says she isn't a lesbian, I dunno'.

So you're saying this has been a topic of serious discussion? Like, sit around at the dinner table, with tension-in-the-air discussion?

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Thu Sep 27, 2012 2:58 am

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:
War Wagon wrote:Wifey says she isn't a lesbian, I dunno'.
So you're saying this has been a topic of serious discussion? Like, sit around at the dinner table, with tension-in-the-air discussion?

Wags and Mrs. Wags probably talk about many things at the breakfast table...

...to drown out the suction-cup popping sounds made by the hot scissoring action going on in the guest room.

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Thu Sep 27, 2012 3:01 am

When those two diesel dykes grind clams, I'd imagine it sounds similar to a cat caught in a starting engine on a cold, Sudbury winter morning.

War Wagon · Post by **War Wagon** » Thu Sep 27, 2012 3:17 am

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:
War Wagon wrote:Wifey says she isn't a lesbian, I dunno'.
So you're saying this has been a topic of serious discussion? Like, sit around at the dinner table, with tension-in-the-air discussion?

not really, she's got a different schedule than the wife an I did, obviously. We were married at 21, I suppose my daughter has different priorities right now.

None of my damn business anyway.

mvscal · Post by **mvscal** » Thu Sep 27, 2012 3:51 am

War Wagon wrote:my daughter has different priorities right now.

Van · Post by **Van** » Thu Sep 27, 2012 5:10 am

Martyred wrote:the suction-cup popping sounds

I laughed.

R-Jack · Post by **R-Jack** » Thu Sep 27, 2012 5:15 am

mvscal wrote:
War Wagon wrote:my daughter has different priorities right now.

Wouldn't that be a similar priority?

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Thu Sep 27, 2012 10:40 am

Van wrote:
Martyred wrote:the suction-cup popping sounds
I laughed.

I almost choked to deaf on my bagel.

Rack the commie cannuck.

Notice there is no mention of boyfriends yet. I'd say we can move this one from the T1B meme column over to proven fact.

But rack lil' mr miss wags anyhoo. She may be a lesbo, but it sounds like she is a highly successful one.

Gotta admit though, wags, having a lessie daughter would be a little easier to swallow if you had a few other chillins that might actually give you those grand kids.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Thu Sep 27, 2012 12:36 pm

Yeah, lotta lesbos/fags out there that want kids. You would think you'd see more arrangements between them to get together and stumble there way through a hetero session or three to achieve the objective.

I would think that in cases where you had a particularly butch dyke, it would be pretty much like another day at the office for the fag. he could even jam it in her arse to get the ball rolling.

So, keep your hopes up Wags. Maybe your little uhhhh girl can get together with some drama club fellow at school and hook you up with a grandkid.

Cuda · Post by **Cuda** » Tue Oct 02, 2012 5:53 pm

if this board had more threads like this, I'd probably hang out here more often.

brokenkeyboreds never has threads like this

Jerkovich · Post by **Jerkovich** » Tue Oct 02, 2012 6:31 pm

Marty l wags R

Screw_Michigan · Post by **Screw_Michigan** » Tue Oct 02, 2012 6:34 pm

Cuda wrote:if this board had more threads like this, I'd probably hang out here more often.

Good fucking riddance.

Cuda · Post by **Cuda** » Tue Oct 02, 2012 9:31 pm

well that wasn't very friendly, screwey. i was even trying to be nice.

with that attitude, it's no wonder that colored woman in the laundry room nearly had you offed.

Cueball · Post by **Cueball** » Tue Oct 02, 2012 10:45 pm

Jerkovich wrote:Victim#2 L Mace R

FTFY

Mace · Post by **Mace** » Wed Oct 03, 2012 1:27 pm

Cueball wrote:
Jerkovich wrote:Victim#2 L Mace R

FTFY

Sheep get jealous too. That fucker will be in the crock pot by the end of the day.....as soon as I get back from the chiropractor.

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Wed Oct 03, 2012 3:27 pm

For years everybody in the family thought my stepbrother might be "one of those" as my grandmother would say. He never brought girls home, would occasionally bring male "friends" home for Thanksgiving dinner and repeatedly said he "didn't have time" to get married.

Fast forward a few years. He got married and they are expecting their first child next year.

He's 47. Yikes.

trev · Post by **trev** » Wed Oct 03, 2012 4:51 pm

I hate softball. I love ballet. Doesn't mean I wouldn't....

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Wed Oct 03, 2012 5:15 pm

Sudden Sam wrote:Yeah, gay guys can't marry women.

Different times. But he did knock her up, so he's at least a switch hitter. Which was a slight surprise to me.

pron · Post by **pron** » Wed Oct 03, 2012 5:26 pm

Rack trev for being bi-curious.

Van · Post by **Van** » Wed Oct 03, 2012 5:42 pm

Any halfway decent-looking woman who isn't at least bi-curious is either lying or worthless.

Jay in Phoenix · Post by **Jay in Phoenix** » Wed Oct 03, 2012 6:09 pm

Mace wrote:Sheep get jealous too. That fucker will be in the crock pot by the end of the day.....as soon as I get back from the chiropractor.

Mace at his last Halloween party, fondly reflecting on good times.

Bessie, his favorite "date" has since taken to tactical defensive measures.

Van · Post by **Van** » Wed Oct 03, 2012 6:29 pm

KC Scott wrote:how exactly do you arrive at that conclusion?

1. They're probably lying. 2. In the cases of those rare sheltered souls who aren't, well, they clearly display Ralph Kramden's appreciation of the aesthetic.

mvscal · Post by **mvscal** » Wed Oct 03, 2012 6:39 pm

trev wrote:I hate softball. I love ballet. Doesn't mean I wouldn't....

Please, do continue...

Shlomart Ben Yisrael · Wed Oct 03, 2012 8:09 pm

Stop pestering her, you vile misanthrope!

trev, if you ever want to talk about this...I am a qualified "straight counselor". I can be discreet and I will respect the secrecy of you wildest, hottest, wettest, moaning, girl-on-girl fantasies.

If you ever want to talk...I'm just a PM away...

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Wed Oct 03, 2012 8:42 pm

trev has hinted towards her bi-curiosity for some time, but when called on it, she disappears.

trev, time to unburden your soul.

Cuda · Post by **Cuda** » Wed Oct 03, 2012 9:17 pm

BSmack wrote:
Sudden Sam wrote:Yeah, gay guys can't marry women.

Different times. But he did knock her up, so he's at least a switch hitter. Which was a slight disappointment to me.

fixed

Smackie Chan · Post by **Smackie Chan** » Tue Oct 09, 2012 11:00 am

Sudden Sam wrote:gay guys can't marry

I blame straight folk. They're the ones what keep havin' gay babies.

Screw_Michigan · Post by **Screw_Michigan** » Tue Oct 09, 2012 11:34 am

KC Scott wrote:how exactly do you arrive at that conclusion?

You wouldn't believe all the crazy shit reclusive shut-ins come up with.

Left Seater · Post by **Left Seater** » Tue Oct 09, 2012 3:15 pm

War Wagon wrote: She's not a player anymore, she's the head softball coach at a state juco, as well as teaching 5 classes a day. Straight out of college with a masters degree, she got the job within 1 month of graduation making $38.5k a year.

Why go to college much less grad school if you settle for $38.5K a year? No wonder she has a roommate. She's not gay, she freaking broke. I'm sure you didn't spend $100K to send her to school for 6 years for her to make less per hour than a 17 year old laborer in the Eagleford play.

Mace · Post by **Mace** » Tue Oct 09, 2012 3:40 pm

Left Seater wrote:
War Wagon wrote: She's not a player anymore, she's the head softball coach at a state juco, as well as teaching 5 classes a day. Straight out of college with a masters degree, she got the job within 1 month of graduation making $38.5k a year.
Why go to college much less grad school if you settle for $38.5K a year? No wonder she has a roommate. She's not gay, she freaking broke. I'm sure you didn't spend $100K to send her to school for 6 years for her to make less per hour than a 17 year old laborer in the Eagleford play.

$38.5K isn't bad for a first year Juco softball coach. She's no different than any other first year teacher/coach trying to make ends meet and having a roommate to share expenses. We all had to start somewhere.

Screw_Michigan · Post by **Screw_Michigan** » Tue Oct 09, 2012 3:57 pm

$38.5k in BFE Mo is like $65k here in God's Country. It's not too bad at all.

Mace · Post by **Mace** » Tue Oct 09, 2012 4:14 pm

Jay in Phoenix wrote:
Mace at his last Halloween party, fondly reflecting on good times.

You call it a Halloween party but it was actually an orgy.

Bessie, his favorite "date" has since taken to tactical defensive measures.

And I sold that mean fuckin' bitch as soon as she showed up with that shit. Should have expected it after loaning her out to mvscal for a weekend.

Left Seater · Post by **Left Seater** » Tue Oct 09, 2012 4:29 pm

Mace wrote: $38.5K isn't bad for a first year Juco softball coach. She's no different than any other first year teacher/coach trying to make ends meet and having a roommate to share expenses. We all had to start somewhere.

I have no clue what a Juco coach makes. I do know that $38.5 is well below the starting pay for delivery drivers in the South Texas oil fields. Plus all you need is a DL for that, not 6 years of college.

Cuda · Post by **Cuda** » Tue Oct 09, 2012 7:19 pm

Left Seater wrote:
Mace wrote: $38.5K isn't bad for a first year Juco softball coach. She's no different than any other first year teacher/coach trying to make ends meet and having a roommate to share expenses. We all had to start somewhere.
I have no clue what a Juco coach makes. I do know that $38.5 is well below the starting pay for delivery drivers in the South Texas oil fields. Plus all you need is a DL for that, not 6 years of college.

$38.5k is nearly twice what a Commuter Airline First Officer makes. Actually, it's pretty cose to what a new-hire FO makes at American, United, Delta, or Southwest