(!) Sign at the local car wash (!)

[atomicdad]

i'm probably about 10 miles further, but at least being more south than east the prevailing winds don't have bode on me.

[Truman]

You're the other one that does it, I'm baffled. Why would you bond a newspaper on your windsheild under a 1/4" of ice? It would take half an hour to get the frozen pulp off.

Naw, I'm in the flattened cardboard box camp. Peels right off. FTR, I've never seen anybody use newspaper to buffer an ice sheet.

And how do keep it from blowing off before it freezes? Duct tape or spikes?

Like the way you think, Phibes, but generally, placing the cardboard under your wipers and between the glass suffices:



This is hardly a Flyover development, btw. Talk to Sam to help you operate the Google if you still need assistance...

[Truman]

What sort of grand penance are you serving that compels you to stay in such a barren wasteland?

An aversion to people? Perhaps a refuge from all the earfquakes, fires, mudslides, smog, gay pride parades and race riots that are occasionally visited upon you folks out west? Or maybe it's just a climate event that eventually passes before nice weather breaks out all over.

But I don't necessarily disagree with your take. Days like the one pictured suck-out-loud.

[Van]

But see, even in good weather that patch of land in your picture there is still a barren wasteland: flat, featureless, devoid of anything worth admiring. You're an upwardly mobile, dashing derring-do sort of swashbuckling ass incubus, so why not move somewhere that's more worthy of your esteem?

[Mikey]

You're the other one that does it, I'm baffled. Why would you bond a newspaper on your windsheild under a 1/4" of ice? It would take half an hour to get the frozen pulp off.

Naw, I'm in the flattened cardboard box camp. Peels right off. FTR, I've never seen anybody use newspaper to buffer an ice sheet.

And how do keep it from blowing off before it freezes? Duct tape or spikes?

Like the way you think, Phibes, but generally, placing the cardboard under your wipers and between the glass suffices:



This is hardly a Flyover development, btw. Talk to Sam to help you operate the Google if you still need assistance...

Interesting choice of transportation, tru.
Does that rig have 4WD?

[Truman]

But see, even in good weather that patch of land in your picture there is still a barren wasteland: flat, featureless, devoid of anything worth admiring. You're an upwardly mobile, dashing derring-do sort of swashbuckling ass incubus, so why not move somewhere that's more worthy of your esteem?

That "patch of land" you are referring to could have been photographed anywhere from north Texas to southern Saskatchewan.

That said, most of the places in-between DO have their redeeming qualities, if you know where to look.

I'd even post a few pics, were I not relatively certain that any accompanying travelogue ('sup Mikey) would serve only to luring Dins into responding with yet another "mine's bigger" reply.

But to your question: Familial obligations are currently as thick as kudzu. We'll see what the future may bring...

[Van]

But see, even in good weather that patch of land in your picture there is still a barren wasteland: flat, featureless, devoid of anything worth admiring. You're an upwardly mobile, dashing derring-do sort of swashbuckling ass incubus, so why not move somewhere that's more worthy of your esteem?

That "patch of land" you are referring to could have been photographed anywhere from north Texas to southern Saskatchewan.

Exactly. People aren't supposed to live there.

But to your question: Familial obligations are currently as thick as kudzu. We'll see what the future may bring...

That's why God invented U-Haul. People are portable.

[War Wagon]

People aren't supposed to live there.

somebody forgot to tell my great grandparents that.

[Truman]

That "patch of land" you are referring to could have been photographed anywhere from north Texas to southern Saskatchewan.

Exactly. People aren't supposed to live there.

Tedious. You DO realize we feed half the world, correct?

But to your question: Familial obligations are currently as thick as kudzu. We'll see what the future may bring...

That's why God invented U-Haul. People are portable stupid.

Fixed. If that was an appeal to replace a tax base abandoned by the Calis that have long since escaped your li'l Utopia for Texas, then you might want to rethink your slogan.

All the pictures of Yosemite, Big Sur, and Mount Shasta are not enough to overcome the fact that you people are fucking, dyed-in-the-wool nutbags. So there's that.

[Dinsdale]

I don't need to go out to Oregon to be on the water under a depressing sky surrounded by dilapidated industry. Detroit's not that far. Hell, the "barren wasteland" pic has more sunshine.

That pic was from early-mid February. You'll note the dude on the tiller (my buddy Mick... the other person half visible in the pic is his wife... who is half his age (44/22), reasonably hot, and retarded... RACKs be unto him, unless he brings her fishing) isn't dressed like an eskimo, just wearing raingear (a few drops that day).

Of course, if we didn't go salmon fishing right in town (which also could have been done in the driftboat in the whitewater minutes from there), we could have gone an hour up the road and gone skiing, if we were so inclined.

Have fun doing the same in Detroit. Or KC. Or whatever frozen flat place of your choosing. If that's your idea of living the good life, mnore power to ya'. I like to do a little more with my one trip through the line. Ain't no do-overs in this world.

[War Wagon]

Only on T1B could a thread about car washes turn into a "my shithole is better than your shithole" dissertation on the relative merits of living in any particular part of the good ol' USofA.

[Dinsdale]

I think it was more like "my non-shithole is better than your shithole."

Where I am right now in the Umpqua Valley is quite beautiful... too bad they built this shithole town in it (Roseburg, birthplace of the outlaw biker meth trade... and 50 years later, it still shows). But I'd still take it over a frozen shithole, despite the zombie population.

[Van]

All the pictures of Yosemite, Big Sur, and Mount Shasta are not enough to overcome the fact that you people are fucking, dyed-in-the-wool nutbags. So there's that.

It's always funny, the way people who aren't from California think California is either Mexicans, Big City Liberals or Hollywood Nutjobs. As Dins is often wont to point out, much of California is as Red State Neck as you'll see anywhere. People who live in true northern California have about as much to do with the usual Cali stereotypes as, well, you do. Travel through central California's massive agricultural breadbasket and you'll think you're in Any Farmland, USA, only with better weather.

[Van]

Only on T1B could a thread about car washes turn into a "my shithole is better than your shithole" dissertation on the relative merits of living in any particular part of the good ol' USofA.

I'm about ready to start charging all you thieving fuckers who keep plagiarizing my damn meme. Seriously, when did this place become The1Cuda?

[Dr_Phibes]

It's always funny, the way people who aren't from California think California is either Mexicans, Big City Liberals or Hollywood Nutjobs. As Dins is often wont to point out, much of California is as Red State Neck as you'll see anywhere. People who live in true northern California have about as much to do with the usual Cali stereotypes as, well, you do. Travel through central California's massive agricultural breadbasket and you'll think you're in Any Farmland, USA, only with better weather.

There's the problem, something happens to people when they go west, hit water and can't go any further, your brain snaps. You either barracade yourself in a white power compound, or go the blissed out but militant, bike riding hippy route.

Mv's moving east, watch his postings become less violent and more thoughtful.

[Mikey]

That "patch of land" you are referring to could have been photographed anywhere from north Texas to southern Saskatchewan.

Exactly. People aren't supposed to live there.

Tedious. You DO realize we feed half the world, correct?

Agriculture sector top 10 states in 2008
Agriculture gross domestic product in $ billions
Rank State GDP Percentage of U.S.
1 California $27.3 17.3%
2 Texas $9.8 6.2%
3 Iowa $8.7 5.5%
4 Washington $7 4.5%
5 Illinois $6.3 4%
6 Florida $6.2 3.9%
7 Minnesota $5.7 3.6%
8 Nebraska $5.6 3.6%
9 Wisconsin $4.5 2.9%
10 Oregon $4 2.5%

[Mikey]

Beautiful green water too.



But, yeah these beaches are pretty nasty all right.
And, we have these really weird things called "waves" that strange people ride on using some kind of boards.

[smackaholic]

Agriculture sector top 10 states in 2008
Agriculture gross domestic product in $ billions
Rank State GDP Percentage of U.S.
1 California $27.3 17.3%
2 Texas $9.8 6.2%
3 Iowa $8.7 5.5%
4 Washington $7 4.5%
5 Illinois $6.3 4%
6 Florida $6.2 3.9%
7 Minnesota $5.7 3.6%
8 Nebraska $5.6 3.6%
9 Wisconsin $4.5 2.9%
10 Oregon $4 2.5%

yeah, stepping to calis with we feed the word smack is not advisable. A drive across the central valley last year made that pretty obvious.

[smackaholic]

Beautiful green water too.



But, yeah these beaches are pretty nasty all right.
And, we have these really weird things called "waves" that strange people ride on using some kind of boards.

Cali does have some nice beaches, the trouble is the water anywhere north of LA is about 34 degrees. The right coast on the other hand has nice warm water from the messican border all the way up to about cape cod, well, for a few months anyway. Actually our problem is that for 4 or 5 months a year, the entire gulf coast is a bit too warm. Ask wolfie how refreshing the water is at ft meyer's beach in july. gotta be damn near 100 degrees.

[Mace]

Corn and beans are what's grown in the midwest, along with lots of beef and pork. Cali raises fruits.....lots and lots of fruits. I'll give them that. m2 is a good example.

[smackaholic]

They grow a fair number of veggies and critters as well, but, yeah, they pretty much own the fruit market. All kinds of fruits.

[Mikey]

Corn and beans are what's grown in the midwest, along with lots of beef and pork. Cali raises fruits.....lots and lots of fruits. I'll give them that. m2 is a good example.

We have a lot of nuts too.

[Mace]

Corn and beans are what's grown in the midwest, along with lots of beef and pork. Cali raises fruits.....lots and lots of fruits. I'll give them that. m2 is a good example.

We have a lot of nuts too.

Yeah, and a lot of them bounce off of m2's chin.

[Mace]

Spring through fall in the midwest means we're playing golf, fishing, pheasant hunting, and any other outdoor activities shared with left coasters. And, yeah, we get snow in the winter which is convenient for deer hunting. A lot of folks like to ice fish but I've always preferred warm weather fishing with a cooler of beer rather than a thermos of coffee. There's also high school and college athletics to occupy the winter months. I usually attend at least 2 high school basketball games and/or wrestling meets a week along with U of I events on occasion or watching them on TV.

I've lived my entire life in Iowa and have no plans to move. There may come a time when I want to spend a couple of months in Texas or Arizona to escape the winter but I'm not there yet.

[Truman]

Tedious. You DO realize we feed half the world, correct?

Agriculture sector top 10 states in 2008
Agriculture gross domestic product in $ billions
Rank State GDP Percentage of U.S.
1 California $27.3 17.3%

...And $18.5 B of that number was in wine sales - an agricultural product. I said feed half the world - not get it drunk.

While exporting beef bourguignon sounds like a grand idea, the third world is apparently content with the corn and beans we send them to feed their stock, as well as the wheat we send them to bake their bread. You wanna take another swing at this, or are we done here?

[Van]

Even after subtracting that $18.5 B number California still leads the nation, and I don't see Missouri anywhere on that list anyway so yeah, we're done here.

Grab some pine, meat.

[Truman]

It's always funny, the way people who aren't from California think California is either Mexicans, Big City Liberals or Hollywood Nutjobs. As Dins is often wont to point out, much of California is as Red State Neck as you'll see anywhere. People who live in true northern California have about as much to do with the usual Cali stereotypes as, well, you do. Travel through central California's massive agricultural breadbasket and you'll think you're in Any Farmland, USA, only with better weather.

It's always funny, the way people who ARE from California try to ingratiate themselves with rational thinking folk by dismissing all the Mexicans, Big City Liberals and Hollywood Nutjobs that actually hold sway over their state.

So Boxer, Feinstein, Pelosi, Governor Moonbeam and 68% of the California Assembly have driven you people towards bankruptcy by some kind of legislative coup? Seems those salt-of-the-earth-types you're trying to jock comprise a very insignificant minority of your populus, Van.

Sorry, I'm fairly content with my take...

[Truman]

Even after subtracting that $18.5 B number California still leads the nation, and I don't see Missouri anywhere on that list anyway so yeah, we're done here.

Grab some pine, meat.

Thought we were talkin' Flyover here. Who said anything about Missouri? What part of north Texas to the Canadian line do you struggle with, Van? The Plains are a big place. And we feed lots of folks. Kindly un-fuck yourself, please...

[Van]

It's always funny, the way people who aren't from California think California is either Mexicans, Big City Liberals or Hollywood Nutjobs. As Dins is often wont to point out, much of California is as Red State Neck as you'll see anywhere. People who live in true northern California have about as much to do with the usual Cali stereotypes as, well, you do. Travel through central California's massive agricultural breadbasket and you'll think you're in Any Farmland, USA, only with better weather.

It's always funny, the way people who ARE from California try to ingratiate themselves with rational thinking folk by dismissing all the Mexicans, Big City Liberals and Hollywood Nutjobs that actually hold sway over their state.

So Boxer, Feinstein, Pelosi, Governor Moonbeam and 68% of the California Assembly have driven you people towards bankruptcy by some kind of legislative coup? Seems those salt-of-the-earth-types you're trying to jock comprise a very insignificant minority of your populus, Van.

Sorry, I'm fairly content with my take...

Oh, there is no doubt that the big cities hold sway in California, as they do in every other state. That's where the most people live. There's also no doubt that those big cities are where most of the stereotypes are engendered, and they're basically all located in a very narrow swath almost directly at the water's edge. Take a good long drive through the vast majority of the massiveness that is California and you'll discover that most of the state holds those big cities in the same regard that you do.

[Truman]

yeah, stepping to calis with we feed the word smack is not advisable. A drive across the central valley last year made that pretty obvious.

Try a drive across I-80, you turd-wrangler.

[Van]

Even after subtracting that $18.5 B number California still leads the nation, and I don't see Missouri anywhere on that list anyway so yeah, we're done here.

Grab some pine, meat.

Thought we were talkin' Flyover here. Who said anything about Missouri? What part of north Texas to the Canadian line do you struggle with, Van? The Plains are a big place. And we feed lots of folks. Kindly un-fuck yourself, please...

Nice of you to gloss over the part where I was saying that you need to move out of that barren wasteland. It was kind of cool, though, to see you go all SEC!SEC!SEC! with your bad self by attempting to cover your sorry ass state in the rest of the conference's region's reflected (minimal) glory.

Only one year in, and already you have that shit down like it's second nature. Kudos. You're a quick study.

[Van]

yeah, stepping to calis with we feed the word smack is not advisable. A drive across the central valley last year made that pretty obvious.

Try a drive across I-80, you turd-wrangler.

Which starts in...California.

[Truman]

Perception is reality, Van.

As distasteful as you find our "barren wasteland(s)", so do we find your big socialist enclave. Own it. It defines you. Oh, sure, we'll drop coin in your state when we come to visit - and we will - but fucked-up weird translates poorly into the local venacular. Sayin.'.

[MgoBlue-LightSpecial]

Fuck it. I'm in. So what's a nice spot out west?

[Truman]

yeah, stepping to calis with we feed the word smack is not advisable. A drive across the central valley last year made that pretty obvious.

Try a drive across I-80, you turd-wrangler.

Which starts in...California.

Actually, it ends there. East-West Interstates originate in the east. North-South Interstates originate in the West.

Tell me you knew...

[Van]

Try a drive across I-80, you turd-wrangler.

Which starts in...California.

Actually, it ends there. East-West Interstates originate in the east. North-South Interstates originate in the West.

Tell me you knew care...

:P

[mvscal]

Mv's moving east, watch his postings become less violent and more thoughtful.

It's sort of like a reverse dustbowl. Productive citizens are fleeing California by the millions for points east. California is a complete basket case and things are only getting worse.

[Van]

Fuck it. I'm in. So what's a nice spot out west?

You love sports. You love baseball. The Giants are the defending WS champs and their gorgeous ballpark is considered by many to be a national treasure. That would be definitely be at least one recommended stop during your travels.

Presumably you love scantily-clad sluts too, so any beach from Orange County down to the Mexican border will have your neck spinning.

Natural scenery-wise, it's hard to say without knowing what you'd be interested in seeing. Same with the various cultural lowlights and highpoints.

Do you like Mexicans?

[Truman]

Nice of you to gloss over the part where I was saying that you need to move out of that barren wasteland. It was kind of cool, though, to see you go all SEC!SEC!SEC! with your bad self by attempting to cover your sorry ass state in the rest of the conference's region's reflected (minimal) glory.

The hell you say...

My "sorry ass state" helped launch yours. Ever hear of the California Trail? Guess where it originated? I'm wondering what would've happened if the good people of Independence, Missouri, had told potential settlers, "Naw, you don't wanna go there. It's full of fags, smog, riots, traffic, Mexicans, darkies, earthquakes, and Mikey. Try our Oregon trail, instead!"

Any move I'd make would be in pursuit of 14er's - and less people. You weirdos fall short of both.

[Mikey]

Perception is reality, Van.

your big socialist enclave.

Funny, the Congressman from my district was one of the most embarrassingly conservative assholes in the house "leadership," at least until we got re-districted out - still solidly Republican here anyway.