Facepalm

[mvscal]

Police Chief Recovering After Eating Entire Cake Laced With Pot

LAURELVILLE, Ohio - The Hocking County Sheriff's office is trying to get to the bottom of who is responsible for drugging Laurelville Police Chief Mike Berkemeier.

Berkemeier says the problem began Easter Sunday when he ate some cake sitting on his kitchen counter.

”I got up in the morning and ate it -- the entire thing,” he said.

Shortly after eating that cake, Berkemeier says he began to feel sick like never before.

”I thought I was dying,” he said.

Berkemeier says all he could think to do was make the short drive from his home to the Laurelville police station for help.

”I don’t remember much of the drive here, even though it’s just a few blocks and was met by a couple of the medics from the fire department,” he said.

Berkemeier tells 10TV medics transported him to Berger Hospital in Circleville where doctors performed tests to see what was wrong with him.

”I kept trying to explain to them this wasn’t getting any better. It just got worse,” he said. “I felt like I was out of my mind.”

Berkemeier says a phone conversation from his hospital room revealed the source of his drugged feeling. Berkemeier’s daughter told the chief’s fiancée over the phone that the cake the police chief had eaten was laced with a high concentration of cannabis oil.

”My fiancée hung up the phone and called for the nurse and said, ‘Get a nurse here right away. I know what it is,’” Berkemeier said.

Berkemeier says doctors gave him a sedative to sleep off the pot-laced cake’s effects -- effects he never wants to experience again.

”It was probably the scariest thing that has ever happened to me in my entire life,” he said.

Berkemeier says a friend of his daughter had brought the cake into their home.

The Hocking County Sheriff’s office is investigating possible charges of corrupting another with drugs and assault.

Watch 10TV News and refresh 10TV.com for more information.

I really don't know where to begin. That this pig ate an entire cake whether or not it was "laced with pot"? Was it customary to leave a sacrificial offering in the form of an entire cake to be devoured by this corpulent piggy in the morning? Was it an especially scrumptious looking entire cake that any reasonable person couldn't be faulted for eating the entire thing? What is the likelihood of someone leaving a scrumptious looking, pot-laced entire cake to be devoured in a brief, orgiastic inhalation by this ravenous piggy immediately upon awakening?

Thank merciful Baby Jesus that Chief Berkemeier has successfully pulled through the "scariest thing that has ever happened to him in his life." It wasn't clear if he was talking about eating an entire cake, being dosed with pot or whether he was subject to random drug testing.

Hopefully shutyomouth will be available to portray the Chief in the made for TV dramatization using his redneck tornado warning falsetto:

”I thought I was dying, I don’t remember much of the drive here, even though it’s just a few blocks and was met by a couple of the medics from the fire department”

"I kept trying to explain to them this wasn’t getting any better. It just got worse. I felt like I was out of my mind.”

”It was probably the scariest thing that has ever happened to me in my entire life”

[smackaholic]

What a dumbass. And they gave him yet another sedative at the hospital so he could sleep off the first sedative he jammed down his piehole?

Brilliant.

They should have just gave him a fukking party sized bag of doritos. His fat ass could have housed the whole thing undoubtedly.

So, a career cop has never had anything scarier than getting baked happen to him? I thought all cops had daily brushes with death?

[Carson]

I wonder if he saw this later:

[Screw_Michigan]

They should have threw his ass in prison. Criminal.

[R-Jack]

The only time I would have the inclination to pound an entire cake is if I was already stoned out of my gourd.

[mvscal]

What a dumbass. And they gave him yet another sedative at the hospital so he could sleep off the first sedative he jammed down his piehole?

Brilliant.

Pot isn't a sedative. He had to have been completely out of his gourd and having serious anxiety issues.

A year or so ago I was making tinctures of indica as an experiment. I took enough to barely feel a faint buzz then gave one quarter of that dosage to the OL (who never smokes and rarely drinks). She was completely poleaxed within 45 minutes. That lardass cop had to have taken many, many times the recommended dose.

[smackaholic]

I do believe that THC is indeed a sedative. The fact that some being sedated might freak the fukk out over the reaction may make it seem otherwise. But regular potheads that know and welcome the effects generally fall asleep on the couch.

[mvscal]

I do believe that THC is indeed a sedative.

You believe wrong. Indica is more relaxing but a snootful of sativa oil could easily have sent Mr. Pig into low earth orbit and given him a very nasty trip.

[smackaholic]

Looks like weed is kinda bi-polar...

This is because "at low to moderate doses, THC is a mild sedative-hypnotic agent resembling alcohol and the antianxiety agents in its pharmacological effects. Unlike the sedative-hypnotics, however, higher doses of THC may (in addition to sedation) produce euphoria, hallucinations, and heightened sensation...

So, yeah, I suppose you could say that cop just may have had a higher dose.

Still think it was kind of foolish to give him anything. Just tell the fukker to chill and enjoy the ride.

[mvscal]

Telling someone to "chill and enjoy the ride" is pretty fucking stupid when they're on a bad trip. Make no mistake here, Mr. Pig was tripping balls and not digging the experience. A couple valium would definitely be in order.

Modern, medical grade weed is no joke for the uninitiated. If you have no tolerance, no prior experience with similar substances and are not expecting it, a massive dose like this idiot took would fuck you up something fierce. Also sativa and indica have very different effects and this article doesn't say which he took. I suspect sativa given his reaction.

Hopefully this will teach that fat, disgusting pile of shit not eat a whole fucking cake in one sitting.

[Derron]

Modern, medical grade weed is no joke for the uninitiated. If you have no tolerance, no prior experience with similar substances and are not expecting it, a massive dose like this idiot took would fuck you up something fierce.

Hopefully this will teach that fat, disgusting pile of shit not eat a whole fucking cake in one sitting.

Exactly...essential oil extraction that gets you the oil is some kick ass shit. Highly refined THC about as good as you can get it. You would use some drops of it in the mix, mix completely and you have a much better delivery method than smoking or other ingestion methods. Fat soluble THC mixed with a fatty carrier in the cake, you are blasting off real soon, or so I have heard.

Mother fucker overdosed big time, probably was quite the ride. More of an LSD type trip. A little more blasted than I want to be at any given time.

[Dinsdale]

Modern, medical grade weed is no joke for the uninitiated... Also sativa and indica have very different effects and this article doesn't say which he took. I suspect sativa given his reaction.

Kinda sorta, but not really.

"Modern, medical grade weed" (which gets a rolleyes, since where do you think the "modern medical" growers got their clones?) is neither indica or sativa. Everything that's grown in the US for the last several decades is a hybrid of the 2. Some favor one species more than the other, but every last bit of it is hybrid. The history of indoor growing is actually pretty interesting (and of course begins in the U&L).

And tinctures are for amateurs. Butane is your friend, my friend.

[Derron]

And tinctures are for amateurs. Butane is your friend, my friend.

And apparently some people have trouble with butane as well. Dude is doing five years as a result of his "experiment".


http://www.oregonlive.com/forest-grove/ ... bitab.html

The explosion resulted from the use of butane – more commonly used as lighter fluid – in the creation of hash oil, a concentrated form of marijuana.

[mvscal]

Everything that's grown in the US for the last several decades is a hybrid of the 2. Some favor one species more than the other, but every last bit of it is hybrid.

Wrong again. There certainly has been a great deal of hybridization but strains of sativa and indica are easily available. Who to believe....hmm, you or my lying eyes. That's a tough one.

[Cuda]

I just think it's pretty fukkin funny that the cop pretends he never got stoned to the bejeezus belt before- and people believe him

[Shlomart Ben Yisrael]

~cough~

[Dinsdale]

Marty, have you posted your Butter making instructions? Inquiring minds need to know about that.

The Hippy Method is the best... or so I've heard.

[LTS TRN 2]

Forget butter. Sure, it's fun to make and tasty but far too much work. Dedicate a coffee grinder for rending bud--even medium quality--into a fine dust, basically keef, and then just add it in to a pastry or whatever just as you would the laborious butter, and there you go.

As amusing is the ludicrous cop, there's no suggestion that he ate the entire cake. Interesting to see the whole Drug War revealed as a grotesque mask of hypocrisy.

[Smackie Chan]

there's no suggestion that he ate the entire cake.

I got up in the morning and ate it -- the entire thing

[Dinsdale]

Forget butter. Sure, it's fun to make and tasty but far too much work. Dedicate a coffee grinder for rending bud--even medium quality--into a fine dust, basically keef, and then just add it in to a pastry or whatever just as you would the laborious butter, and there you go.

Fucking. NASTY.

The non-nasty method, for Roach:

Get a large saucepan, or other large pot. Add a couple of quarts of water or so (this ain't rocket science). Add butter to the water... generally, 1lb. is a good number. Heat the water to melt the butter. As it melts, add your (at least somewhat ground up, and an old coffe grinder works... at least he got one thing right) contraband -- if it's schwag, throw in as much as is reasonable, if it's bud, even crappy bud, you'll need significantly less. Bring the water to a slow boil, stirring occasionally. Boil for 15 minutes or so (again, were not splitting atoms here). Reduce heat, and simmer it for an hour or 2. After this, cool the mixture -- if it's cold out, put it outside, if it's warm, you can use the fridge. After it cools, you have a layer of butter on top. You can poke a hole in it and drain the water, or just run a knife around the outside and remove the butter layer.

There ya' go. Substitute it for regular butter in youmr favorite cookie/brownie/whatever confection recipe. You get the cannabinoids (soluable in the butter), without the nasty chlorophyll that LTIdiot's or any of the direct-heat rending methods produce.

And start slowly -- just because the brownies taste good, it doesn't mean you should eat the whole tray... not that I've ever done that. And don't eat any of it if you have plans in the next 12 hours or so.

But this is all just a big guess, based off what I've heard. I would certainly never advocate violating any state or federal statutes, of course.

[Derron]

There ya' go. Substitute it for regular butter in youmr favorite cookie/brownie/whatever confection recipe. You get the cannabinoids (soluable in the butter), without the nasty chlorophyll that LTIdiot's or any of the direct-heat rending methods produce.


But this is all just a big guess, based off what I've heard. I would certainly never advocate violating any state or federal statutes, of course.

Fucking U & L representing here well.....if you decide to use an oil extract instead of shredding up a bunch of bud, moderation is the key...start slowly with the amount, and try it out. A couple of hours later, you should have a pretty good idea if that was the right amount, not enough, or wayyyyy to fucking much. The way that Dins has heard about is a pretty sure fire, easy way to accomplish conversion of the THC into the right carrier, or so I have heard.

Rack all the old school heads in the U&L for trying this shit out and telling others about it.