In a burb where nogs are few and far between, no less.
BEAVERTON, Ore. - You've heard the old saying 'don't bring a knife to a gun fight.'
Well how about a bat? Apparently, that doesn't work too well either - just ask 22-year-old Derrick Mosley.
Sheriff's deputies say Mosley walked into Discount Gun Sales on Southwest Beaverton-Hillsdale Highway around 4 p.m. Thursday with a bat in hand and smashed a display case.
But they say when Mosley tried to steal a gun, the store manager simply pulled out his own personal firearm and pointed it straight at the would-be-robber. The manager then yelled some orders at the guy and got him to drop the baseball bat, the gun he had tried to take and a nine-inch long knife he had on him.
When sheriff's deputies arrived, they found Mosley on the floor being held at gunpoint by the manager. They handcuffed Mosley on the spot and took him into custody on charges of first-degree robbery, first-degree theft, unlawful possession of a firearm and second-degree criminal mischief. Bail was set at $250,000.
Had he successfully stalen a gun, is it really feasible that he'd be able to rustle up the brainpower to figure out the caliber, and been able to load bullets into it?
Sure, if you look at the national collective, you can find examples of criminally stupid criminality, but I'm having a really hard time wrapping my brain around this one. Pretty rare you hear of someone robbing a gun store during business hours. It's almost akin to breaking into a prison to steal food and clothing.
Fuck it, don't even put him in jail -- make his sentence a requirement to wear a t-shirt describing what he did in detail.
Awesomeness.