I'm on a boat...bitch

[Left Seater]

For the last few days I can't get that SNL sketch out of my head. The reason is the wife and I will be going on a cruise. The old saying, "never say never" has also been going thru my head.

A good friend of ours who is 37 is recovering from breast cancer surgery. She had both boobs ripped off, her words. As part of her battle she has been looking forward an Alaskan cruise. Since we have been in Tulsa for both surgeries so far and will be again in March she has asked us to go with them on the cruise. And when one of your best friends asks such a thing while battling cancer, you just say yes.

So in June the Seaters will be taking an Alaska cruise. I have a few questions about cruises in general and the Mrs is posting on a cruise message board. That seems a random shot in the dark, so why not offer up the same shot here?

Any difference between Princess and Holland America?

Can the Mrs bring a few cases of bottled water on board?

Can the Mrs bring her own obscure brand of soda on board?

What the hell do you do on the boat when it is "at sea"?
I don't gamble
I don't go to spas
I will not eat at a Buffet

What do they really mean by formal, when right after that they say cuttoffs and swimsuits are not allowed

Does anyone book excursions thru outside vendors and do they really get left behind at times

Will I kick my own ass before the week is up



Thanks.

[Left Seater]

My wife wants to go on a cruise. I keep asking...why would she wanna be trapped at sea with a thousand strangers who are partying?

A thousand people partying? Huh, the research I have done suggests the average age of the cruisers will be well north of AARP membership age, and just south of Medicare qualification. That demographic doesn't seem to go with the term partying.

[BSmack]

Cruises just never appealed to me. I like to be in control of my destiny, and I just don't like people very much. Help me out here.

Don't go.

You're welcome

[Wolfman]

If the crew looks something like this---bail immediately. Good luck. A cruise ship is one thing I'll never do, and I will say never to that.

[War Wagon]

In a canoe floating down an Ozark's stream is the extent of my desire to go on a "cruise". That, and perhaps a small fishing boat on Smithville lake.

[Left Seater]

Best wishes, go experience it and don't let us old perverted fucks taint your outlook.

You old fucks don't really bother me at all. In fact it is usually the opposite. Kids are the ones who bother me. Wait, let me rephrase that. It is the parents who let their kids act like fools that bother me. So given the choice of old folks or out of control kids with parents who don't know to control them, give me the old folks all day.

[Goober McTuber]

Never had an inclination to go on a cruise. I was almost 12 years old when our family returned from New Guinea. Took an ocean liner from Sydney to Miami via the Panama Canal. Great trip, something like 25 days on the ship. I remember the food being really good. It was a Dutch ship named the Willem Ruys. It was later sold and rechristened the Achille Lauro.

[The Whistle Is Screaming]

Any difference between Princess and Holland America? I have cruised Holland and it was the best of the 3 lines I've been on (RC and Carnival). Main difference is the quality of the food and a little higher "class" of cruisers on HA.

Can the Mrs bring a few cases of bottled water on board? no need

Can the Mrs bring her own obscure brand of soda on board? she can try and stash it in her along luggage along with any booze you may want to bring with you, but you can't carry it on the boat.

What the hell do you do on the boat when it is "at sea"?
I don't gamble - now is a good time to start
I don't go to spas - again, good time to start, a nice message by some hottie is not a bad thing.
I will not eat at a Buffet - Cruise buffets are not like Golden Corral or CC's, again on HA the food across the board was very good.

What you do on the boat, depends on the boat. Most have live shows, movie theaters, comedians, stupid cruise games, etc. Oh, I forgot, bars, lot of bars and remember... if you don't start drinking in the morning, you can't drink all day.

What do they really mean by formal, when right after that they say cuttoffs and swimsuits are not allowed - Formal can be Tux, suit, sports coat any other night you can wear pants and a shirt (polo/oxford)

Does anyone book excursions thru outside vendors and do they really get left behind at times - Unless the excursion is something you really want to do, we find doing our own thing works out better. Most excursions are way overpriced, even the ones you don't book on-line with the ship.

Will I kick my own ass before the week is up - Cruises are great, you can do a lot or do nothing, what ever makes you happy at the end of the day.

[Derron]

Ya'll are kidding right ? I know this obscure event may have escaped you, but it made fairly strong headlines ...in the last 4 days....

http://www.cnn.com/2014/01/31/travel/ho ... s-illness/



Norovirus outbreaks reported on 2 cruise ships that sailed the Caribbean
By Eliott C. McLaughlin, CNN
updated 4:50 PM EST, Fri January 31, 2014


Why you would ever set foot in a huge petri dish with 3,000 other people, who of that many at least 10 have some kind of virus....this is by your own choice right ???

It is fucking insane....Rack the Achille Laro reference...

[War Wagon]

I wonder if Van has ever been on a cruise? No matter, might as well save this thread from itself.

[War Wagon]

If you watch it until the 8 minute or so mark, you can see the pure joy on Jimmy Page's face. When I saw that, it was a startling reminder of just how much fun they were having performing together.

It wasn't like work, they truly loved what they did.

[trev]

I went on a cruise to Alaska in '06. Literally one of my favorite vacations. But, I found myself wishing I was on a land tour of Alaska instead. It's that spectacular. On a cruise, you will just get a tease of the great places to visit and you have to get back on the ship. I'd say if you have a sea day there is enough scenery up there to enjoy all day. And it stays light until the wee hours of the morning. You must have a room with a balcony.

I take ginger capsules on the water and never have a problem. I love sleeping on the ocean and having someone take me to my destination(s).

[Felix]

I've been on one cruise, the San Juan to St. Thomas to St, Maarten route....left out of Miami and it was on the Freedom of the Seas which is a Royal Caribbean and at the time was the biggest cruise liner sailing (total passenger capacity of 3,500+-) big mother fucking boat.....the first day leaving out of miami, the seas were a little rough and when I went down to the main area where there are shops and shit, there was nobody around.....once we reached calmer seas, the place was jammed to the rafters....way too big and way too many people to really enjoy yourself....we'd gone with three other couples, so that made it a little better.....but seriously doubt I'll ever go on another one....

Any difference between Princess and Holland America?

theres a lady I work with that cruises a lot, shes been on most and uses Princess almost exclusively....just likes the the way she's treated better......


Can the Mrs bring a few cases of bottled water on board?

I can only speak for RC, but I think the policy is pretty much the same on all cruise lines and the answer is no....they won't let you take aboard any liquid whatsoever unless it's something that is medically necessary......they want to sell you their overpriced water, booze, and soft drinks.....


Can the Mrs bring her own obscure brand of soda on board?

see above.....when we got to port in San Juan, I bought a bottle of Kalua and a bottle of vodka (I'm a sucker for white russians) and poured the contents into two large PLASTIC water bottles, put them in my oversized cargo shorts and walked back on.....if you have any metal on you whatsover, the metal detectors will go off.....you can buy booze in bottles, but if you bring it on board, you have to surrender it to the ship who will hold it until you disembark.....again, they want to sell you their overpriced, watered down alcoholic beverages.....

What the hell do you do on the boat when it is "at sea"?
I don't gamble
I don't go to spas
I will not eat at a Buffet

you'll probably be bored....although most ships have some pretty neat shit to do while your sailing....the boat we were on had a wave runner, a rock wall for climbing, and some other shit I can't remember, but you can find entertainment out there....the buffets are really pretty decent and open 24 hours, so anytime you get hungry, you can go grab yourself some food....the staff was really helpful but most spoke marginal english so communication was a little difficult at times

What do they really mean by formal, when right after that they say cuttoffs and swimsuits are not allowed

nice jacket and a tie.....some asshats were wearing tuxedos and they looked ridiculous....I kept expecting to hit an iceberg and hear Celine Dion singing

Does anyone book excursions thru outside vendors and do they really get left behind at times

the best time to book a cruise is as close to the day the boat departs as you can....the cruise line companies start discounting the piss out of tickets just to make sure the boat is full....empty cabins means lost profit, so they're desperate to fill them.....do not get an inside cabin, make sure and get one with a balcony.....I've heard the Alaska cruise is pretty fucking awesome simply because of the scenery.....you can make it as good or as bad as you want to make it.....

[trev]

Speaking of bitches and boats, you need to watch this one all the way thru.

[Goober McTuber]

Speaking of bitches and boats, you need to watch this one all the way thru.

Sounded like a bunch of SEC people.

[smackaholic]

[SEC drawl]I got the whole thing, son. yeeeeeeehaaawwww![/SEC drawl]

fukk you. you suck as a camera man. you found your zoom feature after she put her top back on. kill yourself, asshole.

[Left Seater]

1. They're so fucking bored that they give the situation their undivided attention.

2. If there's people on a boat, you can really figure that at least 30-40% of them are total dumbasses, and love situations like that.

3. If I'm on a vacation, the last thing I want to see is a 'neck-induced, tension-filled situation.

That looks like it's as much fun as pulling a brick out of your colon. That's just awful. Totally non-appealing to me.

Pretty much. Something like that goes down and the Seaters would just get off the boat and find our own way home.

[trev]

I loved when the singer started singing to them about the fight.

[smackaholic]

If I ever needed another reason to never, ever take a cruise, that video was it.

what he said.

it is pretty much a floating prison with a mediocre all you can eat buffet.

[BSmack]

A few things...

1. Gotta love the guy dry humping a girl on the rail at the start of the video. Total class.

2. Wolfman's doppelganger shows up at the 1:02 mark. WTF?

3. Every passenger in that video should be dumped overboard. These are the assholes who make going to every dance bar in America more annoying that a root canal. They aren't poor, so we have to call them lumpen bourgeoisie, hopelessly upper middle class and banal. Come the revolution they will be the first shot.

4. The only thing more annoying than the people in the video is the music. I hope Bob Marley's first act as a zombie is to fucking murder that whole band.

[smackaholic]

Upper middle class?

pfffttt.

Lower middle class at best. Cattle car cruises are dirt cheap nowadays.

[Left Seater]

Sounded like a bunch of SEC people.

Maybe the guy shooting the video. But from the visual clues it is mostly the former Big East. The friend of the fighter is wearing an Eagles hat, the two tall guys are straight out of jersey shore, girl in the white bikini is wearing a Blue Jays hat. Way to much gold sunglasses on dudes and guys worried about the chains around their necks to be SEC.