Summer safety tips

[Ofc. D. Dinkleburger]

Hello, everyone. My name is Officer Dan Dinkleburger. As summer fast approaches, that means one thing: increased crime. The more people we have outside enjoying the weather, the more our safety becomes at risk.

So I just wanted to share a few simple tips on things you can do to stay protected, while working in tandem with law enforcement.

1) Be aggressive. Carry a gun at all times. If you see somebody suspicious approaching you, and you sense even the slightest hint of trouble, point your weapon at the target, aim for the head, and shoot until the clip is empty. Things can be processed and sorted out later, but you don't have that luxury in the heat of the moment.

2) If #1 happens, don't call 911. We're very busy this time of year and dispatch can't coordinate every emergency. Please clean up after yourself and dispose of the body in a proper fashion.

3) Keep an abused pitbull in your yard at all times. For those of you who live in a predominantly white neighborhood, hyper aggressive pittbulls are a great way to scare off minorities and various brown skinned individuals who more than likely don't belong.

4) ALWAYS submit to law enforcement. Helping us helps keep your community safer. I know the general public doesn't always understand why we do the things we do, but I assure you we have our reasons. You might find it odd that we would ask you to drop your pants on a routine traffic stop to perform various inspections, but it's standard operating procedure...depending on your state and county. Anyway, it's best not to ask any questions and allow us to perform our duties. The quicker we finish, the quicker we can send you on your way.

Thanks for taking the time to read these summer safety tips, and please, let's work together to keep our communities safe.

[Mikey]

According to all the cop shows I've seen on TV you're supposed to aim at the center of mass. Can you elaborate on the advantages of a head shot?

[Wolfman]

Some tips for Officer Dinkleburger:
I think you mean magazine, not clip. Don't forget that some gun toting folks still have old fashioned revolvers.
When you pull someone over on a highway, make sure both your vehicles are at a safe distance off the road. You'll thank me later.

[BSmack]

When you pull someone over on a highway, make sure both your vehicles are at a safe distance off the road. You'll thank me later.

Sometimes there is no safe distance. Like with this poor guy.

http://www.odmp.org/officer/22084-troop ... z33An35hTp

[Moving Sale]

What kind of asshat stops on the freeway unless your car breaks down? Cops are stupid up one side of their slanted domes and back down the other side. You have a PA system. Use it.

Good grief.

[BSmack]

What kind of asshat stops on the freeway unless your car breaks down? Cops are stupid up one side of their slanted domes and back down the other side. You have a PA system. Use it.

Good grief.

NY has a law that motorists have to give a lane of leeway between the officer or any other vehicle on the side of the road. It works well except when you have a homicidal maniac behind the wheel. Yes, the driver admitted to deliberately trying to kill the officer.

You do realize that the exits on NY interstates are miles apart? Right? And we don't have anywhere near the number of car chases you have in SoCal?

[mvscal]

Yes, the driver admitted to deliberately trying to kill the officer.

Good for him.

[Ofc. D. Dinkleburger]

According to all the cop shows I've seen on TV you're supposed to aim at the center of mass. Can you elaborate on the advantages of a head shot?

Excellent question, Mikey. Allow me to clarify. It is possible that a suspicious target could be wearing a bullet proof vest, so the surest way of eliminating the threat is a close range shot through the brain. If you don't feel comfortable getting that close, then proceed to fire from a distance while aiming at the "center of mass", as you put it.

The point is, you want to avoid taking chances with ANYONE that might appear even REMOTELY threatening. This includes but is not limited to packs of hyper children, passengers of public transportation, the elderly, Harley Davidson motorcyclists, and any individual at all outside past 10 P.M.

[Moving Sale]

You do realize that the exits on NY interstates are miles apart? Right?

So what? Common sense clearly states you don't park on a freeway. How stupid are you?

[BSmack]

You do realize that the exits on NY interstates are miles apart? Right?

So what? Common sense clearly states you don't park on a freeway. How stupid are you?

If you're comparing I-81 north of Binghamton to the 405, you're a fucking moron.

[Moving Sale]

WTF are you talking about? Where are you going when you get pulled over? The answer is to AT LEAST the next stop. So why pull over on the freeway? Your brain is fried.

[BSmack]

WTF are you talking about?.

Figures you would have to ask that.

[Moving Sale]

Nice white flag.

[MgoBlue-LightSpecial]

Driving five miles to the next exit with the Christmas lights in your rear view mirror sounds like a great way to get a gun pulled on you by an adrenaline filled power tripper. I'll take my chances on the shoulder of the freeway.

[Moving Sale]

Driving five miles to the next exit with the Christmas lights in your rear view mirror sounds like a great way to get a gun pulled on you by an adrenaline filled power tripper. I'll take my chances on the shoulder of the freeway.

Maybe but I was talking about how stupid it is for the COPS to pull over on the freeway. But then anyone who can read would know that.

[MgoBlue-LightSpecial]

Nice white flag.

[Diego in Seattle]

Everything Moving Fail knows about LE procedures & officer safety could fill a thimble (which could also double as his hat).

Sin,
MA

[mvscal]

Pedo in Seattle tries his best to be a niiiice little holster sniffer hoping it will mean something when they eventually kick his door down.

It won't.

[Diego in Seattle]

Does your wife beat you every night, or just every other night?

[Moving Sale]

Nice white flag.

You know that only works when the person you are posting to didn't address the subject of your post right? Of course you don't, you are stupid enough to pull over on the freeway.

[MgoBlue-LightSpecial]

I prefer Black Flag. Works great on ant-sized lawyers.

[Screw_Michigan]

I prefer Black Flag.

[Moving Sale]

I prefer Black Flag. Works great on ant-sized lawyers.

Now ^^^^that is a white flag. Nice dodge asshat.

[MgoBlue-LightSpecial]

I know, right? There's no place for goofing around here.

[Moving Sale]

Which is why your lame ass piped in in the first place. It's all just a yuck. That's the easy way out when you get your ass handed to you right?

[MgoBlue-LightSpecial]

Not really. You're just a tedious, humorless douchebag, with classic small man syndrome, who can't relax even on a message board. Everything has to be a debate at all times. You must be a blast to hang out with.

And all you ever do is claim bode. That's the surest sign you don't have it.

Here's all I have to say on the topic.

1) I agree that highway patrol should have a better method for nabbing speeders.
2) I agree that you should pull off at the next exit if you are able to do so quickly and conveniently.
3) Only a fucking moron thinks driving several miles to the next exit is a better alternative to pulling off onto the shoulder. Why don't you try that and get back to us with the results.

[Smackie Chan]

I leave for a few days, and Tiny is getting his shit kicked out again.

Now you've done it. Better defend yourself. You're about to be called fatty again. And again. And again....

[Moving Sale]

Not really. You're just a tedious,

And yet here you are pounding out the same shit take.

[/quote]humorless douchebag,[/quote]
You are about as funny as car fire.

with classic small man syndrome,

You drop the same shit take post after post and I'M tedious? Go fuck a tailpipe you vapid trog.

who can't relax even on a message board.

It's a smackboard asshat. It's not set up for relaxation, or did you forget about that 'cause you were too busy sucking other poster's dicks?

Everything has to be a debate at all times.

Again, I get that you would rather suck dick, but can't you do that on Facebook you stupid 12yo fuck?

You must be a blast to hang out with.

There are many people here who will vouch for my attitude in RL. WTF does that have to do with posting on this board?

And all you ever do is claim bode. That's the surest sign you don't have it.

You totally veered off topic and you have the nerve to claim that's NOT bode on my part? Go fuck some sandpaper pindick.

Here's all I have to say on the topic.

Bullshit. You will retort with some asinine statement after I bash you on the head again.

1) I agree that highway patrol should have a better method for nabbing speeders.

That's not a take. A fucking 3 yo could figure that out.

2) I agree that you should pull off at the next exit if you are able to do so quickly and conveniently.

Define quickly?
Conveniently is the first place you won’t get whacked by an asshole doing 70 you stupid sack of bones and flem.

3) Only a fucking moron thinks driving several miles to the next exit is a better alternative to pulling off onto the shoulder.

Why? Because you are more likely to be shot in the face than run over by some BlueLightSpecial?

Why don't you try that and get back to us with the results.

I have never been shot in the face for waiting till it’s safe to pull over and yet I have been pulled over more than once. Why don’t you go park on the side of a freeway for a spell?

[Moving Sale]

I leave for a few days, and Tiny is getting his shit kicked out again.

Now you've done it. Better defend yourself. You're about to be called fatty again. And again. And again....

Ok Einstein let’s go thru my options.

A) I could ignore him, which I have to this point.
B) I could call him a fatty which would be totally in line since about all he did was call me Tiny.
C) Or what? Try and engage him on some intellectual level? He is stupider than you so how exactly would that work?

[Rooster]

I work with the original bassist for Black Flag. True story.

[molly]

I prefer Black Flag. Works great on ant-sized lawyers.

OMG me toooooooo

[MgoBlue-LightSpecial]

There a story behind this bump?