ThanksMotherOfFuckGiving

[R-Jack]

What are you guys planning to bring to the table for the KC Paul Super Bowl?

My brother and I are doing a turkey duel this year. He's going to go the traditional oven route and I am going to smoke my bird.

I've done it before to great fanfare, but I kept it simple. No brine, no rub. Just threw the turkey in and minded the fire over beer and football.

Any suggestions on taking up a notch? My brother and I have a few bucks riding on this.

[BSmack]

I recomend You've Got Mail, Sleepless in Seattle and Big.

Screw Michigan
In The District

[Dinsdale]

Trolling for a Screwey pile-on, are you?

The brine isn't a bad idea.

And if you have the time, patience, and alcohol, smoke it slow, starting the night before (depending on size of bird).

That's how I did it last year, and it was pretty bomb.

Then I popped in a DVD of Cast Away.

[R-Jack]

It's not a massive gathering so we don't plan on doing huge birds.

I'm hoping to get the job done during The Money Pit, Phillidelphia and Road To Perdition.

[R-Jack]

.....but I'm willing to throw in Turner and Hooch if I need the time

[MgoBlue-LightSpecial]

Don't forget to whip up a side dish. Something starchy like smashed potatoes...

...with Captain Phillips playing in the background.

[R-Jack]

My girlfriend was adamant on making her macaroni and cheese. I thought that may be a little to heavy for a side. But it's good and she can throw it together in two episodes of Bosom Buddies

[Dinsdale]

Remember to back off the sweets -- it can cause Type 2 diabetes.

[R-Jack]

No shit.....that could be The Terminal one.

[Shlomart Ben Yisrael]

Come on guys...Screwey is a close, personal friend of mine.
:x

If you think I'm just going to cast away our friendship over this, you're mistaken.

Guys like Screw are exceptional...they're in a league of their own.

[Screw_Michigan]

I recomend You've Got Mail, Sleepless in Seattle and Big.

Screw Michigan
In The District

I'm surprised it took you dickbags 90 min to respond.

[R-Jack]

I'm surprised it took you dickbags 90 min to respond.

Cut him some slack. When Joe vs The Volcano is on, you got to watch it through. You know what I'm talking about.

[Jay in Phoenix]

Honestly guys, this is too much. Even with Screwey taunting "Catch Me if you Can" while posting from his Cloud Atlas, we know he's walked that long Green Mile, so seriously, while he's trying to make a Splash, understand that he has Nothing in Common with any of us.

[Dinsdale]

Guys, guys -- this thread is getting way off topic. RJack asked about smoking a bird. Allow me to get us back on track:

R-Jack -- you've done it before. Just use quality wood, keep the temp steady, and keep the skin oiled. It really is that simple, so don't overcomplicate it...

it's not like we're talking about solving the Da Vinci Code here.

[Jay in Phoenix]

To Dinsdale's point, just to get back to the topic, one of the best preparations that I've ever tried is to deep fry that big bird. Incredible flavor and very juicy. Recipes for this technique are easily available, so you don't have to send out some sort of Dragnet to find them. Cooks that prepare their feast this way are sure to be a hit with the women and you could become real Lady Killers. Fair warning though, there could be some danger with this cooking technique, explosions can happen which could be Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close.

But know this, if you pull it off you'll be the hit of The 'Burbs!

[Shlomart Ben Yisrael]

And since you mentioned smoking it,

Why don't you smoke a Mossberg, you tragic dullard.

[Dinsdale]

Why don't you smoke a Mossberg, you tragic dullard.

That's a pretty Big insult.

[Shlomart Ben Yisrael]

Why don't you smoke a Mossberg, you tragic dullard.

That's a pretty Big insult.

I hoped to save that for a private conversation, uhhh...Ryan...


:|

[Carson]

Brining has become a necessary step for any poultry in my house.

You can let the bird soak while you're at a Bachelor Party.

(That's one his girlfriend probably banned from the list)

[Dinsdale]

here are some tips on smoking a turkey from Cajun Injector.

Well, that provides useful info for... no one who has ever used a smoker.

But it's important to remember to not leave the smoker lid open for too long while checking stuff, since this effects temp control. Particularly if it's cold outside -- that cold air hitting the bird is like a Polar Express.

[Jay in Phoenix]

I agree with Dinsdale here, leaving the smoker lid open can be detrimental to your preparation. The Wonders of a smoker are in a League of Their Own, but you must be careful to avoid a disaster, like some Apollo 13. Also, remember to not create an over sized flame, the bane of barbequing ego like some Bonfire of the Vanities, leaving you with a cooking City of Embers.

[Shlomart Ben Yisrael]

C'mon...

...even Captain Obvious could tell you that these fill-ups in the Cooking Forum dilute the over all effort of it's contributors.

[matteric]

What's going on here... ?

[R-Jack]

Brining has become a necessary step for any poultry in my house.

You can let the bird soak while you're at a Bachelor Party.

Rather avoid brining. I know it's That Thing You Do, but I already made a big Splash in my wallet not going the factory farm route. Don't want to make this into a total Money Pit