My favourite Bible passages

[Shlomart Ben Yisrael]

Utubians 2:7 ~ ...and when the woman hath drunken too much wine and layeth on the couch of the man...if the man does not place his hand on her bossom...
...in the Lord's eye he shall be a pussy...and his descendants shall forever dwell in the shadow of being pussies...and cursed they shall be to thrust mops across the ragged
earth and toil in the dark places of garment laundering...

[Shlomart Ben Yisrael]

From the Book Of Samuel ~

...and he did take a wife, as was custom. And then another wife. And then another wife. And then another wife. And then another wife..."I know my time to be nearer to thee draws closer, oh Lord!" he cried...but again, he took another wife...

[Jay in Phoenix]

Utubians 2:7 ~ ...and when the woman hath drunken too much wine and layeth on the couch of the man...if the man does not place his hand on her bossom...
...in the Lord's eye he shall be a pussy...and his descendants shall forever dwell in the shadow of being pussies...and cursed they shall be to thrust mops across the ragged
earth and toil in the dark places of garment laundering...

Hmm, I thought that particular passage was from the Book of Jizzmopians 3:12...and when he who moppeth the stains of the Semenites in the dwellings of the Gloriest of Holies, who bringeth the Quarters of Launder and layeth them upon the land, shall he be known in Screwteronomy, the second law of the Semenites, as a false sayer of all things and be lain to waste and shame in the House of the One and Only Board.

Amen.

[Shlomart Ben Yisrael]

...the stains of the Semenites...

Are you sure you're not secretly anti-Semenetic?

:x

[Jay in Phoenix]

Jewteronomy 4:14 ~ ...and Brian of Nazareth did say, "I'm a jew! I'm a yid, a heebie, a hook-nose, a Red Sea pedestrian! I'm Kosher momma, and I'm proud of it!"

[MgoBlue-LightSpecial]

I'm partial to BSmackodus 2:13: For the wicked who seek to gain treasures by thievery -- their eternal place will be in the fiery pit of Hell... with four hours of live Zeppelin blaring on a loop in surround sound...

[MgoBlue-LightSpecial]

Kansas Citicus 15:2: "For you are a sinner, and there will be no salvation lest your soul be cleansed and baptized with the Holy Spirit," to which Paul replied with, "No, YOU'RE a sinner!"

[BSmack]

The Letters of KC Scott to the Ucantians: 5:8 Verily though you must lifteth the weight, you shall be comforted by the steam. Wanna hook up?

[smackaholic]

Genesis 4:1 Adam made love to his wife Eve, and she became pregnant and gave birth to wollfman. She said, "With the help of the LORD I have brought forth a man." And he celebrated with a warm beast light.

[smackaholic]

Atomic Panticus 3:12 If a man doth wear the undergarment of his mother, let him be shunned by the people. And the people shall proclaim, thank you lord for not cursing me, a wretched sinner with the mark of AP.

[smackaholic]

AP 4:12 It is better to cast thy seed into the belly of a whore than onto a mirror.

:13 Having cast thy seed upon a mirror, thou shalt not take a pic of it, lest thou suffer the scorn of the trollians.

[Jay in Phoenix]

MToolicus 23 1-6 ~ The BOARD is my shepherd; I shall not vent.

2. He maketh me to lie down in homeless pastures: he leadeth me beside the dirty waters.

3. He damnath my soul: he leadeth me in the threads of unrighteousness for my lame sake.

4. Yea, though I walk through the gay bay of the shadow of cut and paste, I will fear no trannies: for they art behind me; their rod and their staff, they comfort me.

5. Thou preparest an IMG before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with semen; my mouth runneth over.

6. Surely godlessness and ren faires shall follow me all the days of my miserable life: and I will dwell in the house of the TROTS for ever.