Have you ever had a "gangster" moment?

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Tue Dec 16, 2014 5:14 pm

A few weeks ago I was watching the game at a sports bar. There was an obnoxious middle-aged fellow a couple seats down from me who felt the need to do a running commentary throughout the game for everybody within earshot.

At one point in the game, there was a blatant pass-interference that wasn't called and the guy shouts, "Oh, they're gonna reverse that one." Now, I normally let these types ramble on with blissful ignorance without interruption, but this particular jackass was grating, so I piped in and said, "They can't review pass-interference."

His response? "Pffffffft. They can do anything they want!"

The combination of his dismissive tone and his laughably incorrect statement brought out a feeling in me of unspeakable rage. At that precise moment, I wanted to drag him into the parking lot and pistol whip his face until his family could no longer recognize him.

Sooo, how about you?

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Tue Dec 16, 2014 6:27 pm

Seldom watch a game in a bar anymore. I'm like a retired gangster.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Tue Dec 16, 2014 6:51 pm

schmick wrote:A few years ago I was in a rush to get somewhere when some redneck jackasses in their pick up trucks were trying to nigga race me. 4 lane road (2 in each direction), 55 MPH speed limit and both of these trucks are going maybe 25-30 while the passengers are looking out the back window and laughing about the traffic they were holding up.
There was a cement wall separating the opposite directions of traffic but I knew that when the road came to a curve there was about a 12 foot shoulder between the wall and the traffic lane.
I dropped back a bit coming up to the curve and as we got close to it I dropped a gear and passed the trucks on the inside, as soon as I passed I slammed on the brakes real quick and then accelerated away in my mirror I could see that it caused the two trucks to run in to each other.
For about 6 months I kept anticipating a call from the police or an insurance company but never received one.
Felt pretty gangster

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Tue Dec 16, 2014 7:32 pm

Do sternly worded notes on windshields count?

sin

Indy Clown

mvscal · Post by **mvscal** » Tue Dec 16, 2014 7:39 pm

schmick wrote:Felt pretty gangster

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Tue Dec 16, 2014 9:32 pm

Papa Willie wrote:am I just emulating Goobs?

That would be a step in the right direction.

Goober McTuber · Post by **Goober McTuber** » Tue Dec 16, 2014 9:41 pm

Papa Willie wrote:
Goober McTuber wrote:
Papa Willie wrote:am I just emulating Goobs?
That would be a step in the right direction.
Would now be a good time to take a selfie with a little heart? :grin:

Yes, a little heart. You probably wouldn't need a heart anywhere near as large as mine.

Derron · Post by **Derron** » Tue Dec 16, 2014 11:31 pm

Goober McTuber wrote:Seldom watch a game in a bar anymore. I'm like a retired gangster.

They call you dudes OG's...old gangsters. Ran one out of a store I work loss prevention at last week. He was strutting around while trying to rip off $ 2.00 worth of electrical switches. He was trying to teach two young gangster's the fine art of petty shop lifting when we swarmed the YG, who promptly walked out of the store when he saw two of us headed his way,and left his amateur bitch in there to try and make off with a .59 cent tile.

Moving Sale · Post by **Moving Sale** » Tue Dec 16, 2014 11:50 pm

Original gangster.

Dumbass.

mvscal · Post by **mvscal** » Wed Dec 17, 2014 12:02 am

Derron wrote: He was strutting around while trying to rip off $ 2.00 worth of electrical switches. He was trying to teach two young gangster's the fine art of petty shop lifting when we swarmed the YG, who promptly walked out of the store when he saw two of us headed his way,and left his amateur bitch in there to try and make off with a .59 cent tile.

Smooth use of jail cover dummies.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Wed Dec 17, 2014 2:08 am

Okay, I may need to seek anger management or something. This is getting out of control!

Today I was headed to my "Liberals for a better America" bi-monthly meeting, but had to drop my African American transgendered feminist socialist friend off at her Occupy Something or Other movement. I noticed my Prius was low on gas so I pulled into a gas station but also needed my java fix so I hit up the Starbucks next door. I told the barista to fetch me a triple venti soy caramel macchiato with extra light foam served at exactly 120 degrees. Upon first sip I could immediately tell it was only 115 degrees! Ridiculous! Right then and there I wanted to toss the full cup in that stupid hipster geek's face and watch it melt right off!

I mean, you guys can empathize with that, right??

trev · Post by **trev** » Wed Dec 17, 2014 2:17 am

I like your first gangster moment way better than your last one, mgo. I hope and think the last one is a made up story.

trev · Post by **trev** » Wed Dec 17, 2014 2:21 am

My last gangster moment was last week having a breakfast date with a few of the boy scout moms who are notoriously late. I got there on time. They were 20 minutes late. I left at 15 minutes late. It was so not like me, but I didn't feel like visiting with them anyway.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Wed Dec 17, 2014 3:21 am

i'm with 88 on this one.

Mgooo, if the story ended with you dragging him into the parking lot and pummeling him, then getting his girlfriend to blow you in the parking lot while he watched, THAT would be gangster.

molly · Post by **molly** » Wed Dec 17, 2014 7:42 am

My sister and I were at dennys and it was robbed at gunpoint by an eazy e lookalike. Does that count?

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Wed Dec 17, 2014 7:53 am

smackaholic wrote:i'm with 88 on this one.

Mgooo, if the story ended with you dragging him into the parking lot and pummeling him.

I think at some point, I've told my Lenny Kravitz story.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Wed Dec 17, 2014 11:56 am

Could you recap it, Dins?

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Wed Dec 17, 2014 11:57 am

molly wrote:My sister and I were at dennys and it was robbed at gunpoint by an eazy e lookalike. Does that count?

No, unless you were in on it.

Dan Vogel · Post by **Dan Vogel** » Wed Dec 17, 2014 12:42 pm

88 wrote:Interesting stories. But I don't understand why either would be considered as a "gangster" moment. What is "gangster" about sitting on your bar stool silently while wishing you had the balls to say something to a loud mouth or driving away from the scene of an accident you caused? In both instances, wouldn't a gangster have confronted the person in some violent manner? What makes avoiding a conflict while piss runs down the inside of your khakis a "gangster" moment?

You are right. Schmick pulled a coward move. It wasn't gangster. To be honest I think those actions were criminal. Bluelightspecial didn't have the courage to stand up and really confront the man who was ruining a viewing experience of other people. He probably went home and wined to his wife about how unfair it was at the bar or something. I confront people who do wrong. Like with my neighbor and my fence he damaged. I don't just sit and stew about it. You live life once so you better have actions.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Wed Dec 17, 2014 1:17 pm

Damn, mgooo, DV is more gangster than you. You need to go out and rob a liquor store or something today just to get your street cred back.

mvscal · Post by **mvscal** » Wed Dec 17, 2014 2:03 pm

molly wrote:My sister and I were at dennys and it was robbed at gunpoint by an eazy e lookalike. Does that count?

Only if your purse was the one that said "Bad Motherfucker" on it.

Moby Dick · Post by **Moby Dick** » Wed Dec 17, 2014 3:18 pm

Sudden Sam wrote:That's me, 2nd from the right, top row.

http://www.wsvn.com/story/27631352/poli ... orida-teen

Y'all can give up. You don't get much more gangsta than this.

I win.

bwahahah

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Thu Dec 18, 2014 2:22 am

Sorry gents, I should have better explained the concept. I don't think of "gangsters" as modern day thugs. Those would be "gangstas." A subtle, but important distinction. I meant more along the lines of old-timey mobsters. You know how in Italian mob movies, some poor schlub often gets whacked for doing or saying something seemingly innocuous? You're telling me you've never wanted to mete out some Joe Pesci style justice, but you refrain from doing so because a) you're a civilized human being and b) life is better outside of a prison cell?

I'll provide another example...

Long-winded joke guy. You know the type. Polo shirt. Pleated khakis. Avid golfer. Responds with "livin' the dream" whenever you ask how he's doing. When you see that guy coming toward you, with his scripted joke locked and loaded... are you telling me you're not contemplating how you're going to dispose of his body the moment he finishes his joke? I mean, come on!

mvscal · Post by **mvscal** » Thu Dec 18, 2014 2:30 am

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:Long-winded joke guy. You know the type. Polo shirt. Pleated khakis. Avid golfer. Responds with "livin' the dream" whenever you ask how he's doing. When you see that guy coming toward you, with his scripted joke locked and loaded... are you telling me you're not contemplating how you're going to dispose of his body the moment he finishes his joke? I mean, come on!

Fair enough.

Smackie Chan · Post by **Smackie Chan** » Thu Dec 18, 2014 1:23 pm

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:Responds with "livin' the dream" whenever you ask how he's doing. When you see that guy coming toward you, with his scripted joke locked and loaded... are you telling me you're not contemplating how you're going to dispose of his body the moment he finishes his joke? I mean, come on!

Used to work with this balck dude who used that tired line multiple times daily. His other go-to phrase that was punch-in-the-face worthy was, whenever whoever he was calling answered the phone, "<Insert first AND last name here> - the man, the myth, the legend!"

I know, your inner Joe Pesci is already surfacing, right?

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Thu Dec 18, 2014 1:38 pm

Smackie Chan wrote:
MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:Responds with "livin' the dream" whenever you ask how he's doing. When you see that guy coming toward you, with his scripted joke locked and loaded... are you telling me you're not contemplating how you're going to dispose of his body the moment he finishes his joke? I mean, come on!
Used to work with this balck dude who used that tired line multiple times daily. His other go-to phrase that was punch-in-the-face worthy was, whenever whoever he was calling answered the phone, "<Insert first AND last name here> - the man, the myth, the legend!"

I know, your inner Joe Pesci is already surfacing, right?

if you weren't such a pussy, you'd have pulled out a gun and made him dance a little, just like joe pesci.

Smackie Chan · Post by **Smackie Chan** » Thu Dec 18, 2014 1:43 pm

smackaholic wrote:
Smackie Chan wrote:
MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:Responds with "livin' the dream" whenever you ask how he's doing. When you see that guy coming toward you, with his scripted joke locked and loaded... are you telling me you're not contemplating how you're going to dispose of his body the moment he finishes his joke? I mean, come on!
Used to work with this balck dude who used that tired line multiple times daily. His other go-to phrase that was punch-in-the-face worthy was, whenever whoever he was calling answered the phone, "<Insert first AND last name here> - the man, the myth, the legend!"

I know, your inner Joe Pesci is already surfacing, right?
if you weren't such a pussy, you'd have pulled out a gun and made him dance a little, just like joe pesci.

You have me mistaken for Aaron Alexis.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Thu Dec 18, 2014 3:26 pm

No, that's not being a pussy, that's being batshit crazy.

Smackie Chan · Post by **Smackie Chan** » Thu Dec 18, 2014 4:25 pm

smackaholic wrote:No, that's not being a pussy, that's being batshit crazy.

The only distinction the authorities would've made is that I'm a worse shot.

Left Seater · Post by **Left Seater** » Fri Dec 19, 2014 12:59 am

molly wrote:My sister and I were at dennys and it was robbed at gunpoint by an eazy e lookalike. Does that count?

I call bull. I've seen your pic and you are neither old or balck. Therefore you weren't in a Denny's.

SunCoastSooner · Post by **SunCoastSooner** » Fri Dec 19, 2014 2:42 pm

I have a friend who played football at Miami . . . you people don't know what gangsta is.

Moving Sale · Post by **Moving Sale** » Fri Dec 19, 2014 9:36 pm

I've had more clients that were/are gang members than I care to count. Original Hoover crip member? Check. Number Two in the Fresno AB? Check? Tong members? Surenos? Nortanos? Eme? Even Gambino. Lots of bodies. Hundreds I'm sure. And the stories? Too many to recount. I need a drink.

Left Seater · Post by **Left Seater** » Sat Dec 20, 2014 3:05 pm

Have you defended someone who admitted guilt to you in private?

If so does it bother you at all, ever conflicted? If you win such a case is it cause for celebration or no?

Moving Sale · Post by **Moving Sale** » Sat Dec 20, 2014 4:22 pm

Most of the gang members I represent have already been convicted by the time I represent them so 95+% admit guilt. The hard ones are the people who kill kids, but any client who gets a parole date is a win.

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Sat Dec 20, 2014 4:24 pm

Not for their next victim.

Moving Sale · Post by **Moving Sale** » Sat Dec 20, 2014 5:08 pm

Name one.

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Sat Dec 20, 2014 6:40 pm

Moving Sale wrote:Name one.

You're the one that copped that your clients had killed "hundreds" of people. With recidivism rates as they are, it is a statistical impossibly that they haven't racked up more victims.

Moving Sale · Post by **Moving Sale** » Sun Dec 21, 2014 3:40 am

Sudden Sam wrote:
Moving Sale wrote:The hard ones are the people who kill kids, but any client who gets a parole date is a win.
Jesus fuckin' christ.

Like I made the rules.

Moving Sale · Post by **Moving Sale** » Sun Dec 21, 2014 3:41 am

BSmack wrote:
Moving Sale wrote:Name one.
You're the one that copped that your clients had killed "hundreds" of people. With recidivism rates as they are, it is a statistical impossibly that they haven't racked up more victims.

So you can't name one. Alrighty then.

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Sun Dec 21, 2014 4:10 am

But you can. You can name more than one. How do you fucking sleep?