Had to identify a body for the coroner today

[Goober McTuber]

I'd like to say "I'm not reading all of that". But I already did. Sweet mother of Jesus. Going through all of that.....for fucking in-laws? Damn.

[Cornhusker]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VKcAYMb5uk4

[BSmack]

:o

[trev]

Did you throw out your shoes?

I literally gasped at least 4 times reading that.

Also, Cleveland, living up to its reputation.

Hope your feeling better after this ordeal, 88.

[Shlomart Ben Yisrael]

Something about mvscal's brisket marinades crossed my mind...

[Wolfman]

WHOA.

[smackaholic]

Looks like we can add another term to the T1B lexicon.

Bob juice.

I am certain you twisted fukks will find all sorts of opportunities to use it.

[Bucmonkey]

[poptart]

Bob juice

Yum!

[Felix]

jeezus 88, sorry for your trials and tribulations....I know it was a lot worse than can be described in a few paragraphs, and believe me it sounded fucking horrible from reading it.....I recall a time when my niece got drunk decided to drive to a party up to a place called Spring Shores which is simply a developed playground for a reservoir with a bunch of docks where people launch boats, have fun, etc. As I said, she'd been downtown getting liquored up and decided she wantet to go out to this party

to get there, you have to cross the Mores Creek Bridge, then you make a right as you can see in this picture



where the bride turns right just past the bridge, the road is approximately 200 feet above the water....not exactly sure what happened (took the turn too fast, she was drunk, both) but in any event she ended up going off the road about a 100 feet further than where you can see the road ends.....couldn't find her for days and nobody had any idea of what had happened to her.....well, somebody that was coming from the west just about to cross Mores Creek Bridge spotted the tracks going off the road and alerted local law enforcement.....they took boats out and sure enough the diver found her honda civic at the bottom and she was still in it.....well they pulled her body out sent it to the coroners office and they needed somebody to come down and identify her....my sister in law (my neices mother) wanted to go but I told her "no you don't because you don't want to see her body after it's been in the water for three days" so I volunteered to go down and identify her.....one of the worst fucking mistakes I ever made.....she was a knockout looks wise, but I don't know if any of you know what happens to a body after it's been in the water for a few days, but it starts bloating.....when I looked at her she was almost unrecognizable....when I got back I told everyone that it was indeed Angie and everybody wanted to go see her....I told them all to do themselves a favor and just remember how she looked....if they had gone down to see her then, that would be an image that would be forever burned into your memory banks....I know it's burned into mine and I'll never forget that sight....so I'm sympathetic to what you had to go through, grusome is the only word that comes to mind......

sorry for your loss.....

[Smackie Chan]

So you didn't shag the OL?

[trev]

So you didn't shag the OL?

Probably not. But I think he may have acquired a gun or 3 out of it.

[WolverineSteve]

You are a better SIL than me.

[mvscal]

Last night about 8:30 p.m., I got a call from my father-in-law.

That's what voicemail is for.

[Diego in Seattle]

Wasn't your key-fishing expedition a little professionally risky?

If you haven't updated your will, do so. If you haven't called a loved one you haven't talked with in a while, do so. And if you are not in good health and live alone, please go get yourself checked out and also make friends with your neighbors or church or someone who is going to see you on a DAILY basis.

I'm sure that JSC is now heavily pushing the local community college on his daughters...

[Rooster]

I absolutely love stories like this. Love, love, love 'em.

Once when I was working an HEMS job at night in CenCal we got a call to go out and help the local sheriffs find a body of a Vietnamese fisherman who fell out of his buddies' boat after a torrential rainstorm. He'd been missing for several days and the stink gave away his position. I was called out to scan the area for the body which had been determined to be in a specific spot on the river due to the scent cone, but the brush was too thick for the deputies to get in and find him. After a few passes up and down the river we saw the guy-- he was hung up on some branches and was all swoll-up just bobbing in the water. We were told to go back, fuel up, and wait for another call once the dive team got there with their skiff.

After about two hours passed, we got the call to come back and spotlight the corpse so the divers could retrieve it. We got there and fired up the NightSun and orbited a few times around the body until the divers laid eyes on it. After a few more minutes of circling, the dive team got into position and went over the side to unhook the floater from the tree branches and tote it over to the boat. We had the focus as tight as we could get it for the divers, but it was still too diffuse for them to adequately see the body and how it was hung up, so they asked us to drop down in altitude and circle tighter. After several radio calls asking us to get progressively lower, we ended up hovering over the body at about thirty feet with all the lights on.

As the dive team got to the body they flipped up their dive masks to visually check the guy over and begin extracting him from the brush. It was about then the radio bursts into chatter with a lot of screaming going on. The crew and I ask each other what that was all about, when all of a sudden the dive master tells us to pick up to a 500 foot altitude and stop hovering over the corpse. Apparently the guy had been in the water so long that the skin was sloughing off and when the divers reached the body and were talking back-and-forth over the radio about how to get him to the boat, my rotor wash was causing his flesh to fly off and get in the divers' mouths.

Man, we had some good laughs about that for months afterwards. Good times. :grin:

[trev]

Who gets Bob's stuff? I hope you don't live in a greedy family that will fight over "stuff."

[BSmack]

I would think Bob's family. That is presuming he did not die intestate. If not, then it reverts to Ohio state law. That said, if 88 doesn't walk away with a few rifles for his considerable troubles, then something's wrong with this world.

[trev]

Bob didn't appear to have much family. At least anyone who cared. Except for 88 and his father in law.

I agree. 88 should get some of those guns.

[Diego in Seattle]

We removed over 20,000 rounds of ammunition today.

Was it a house or a bunker?

Did you get his year's supply of freeze dried food?

[Jerkovich]

Check the bodies that you actually killed.

[Diego in Seattle]

I have had to identify a body before

"Yes officer, that's the dog I hit."

[Derron]

Props to 88 for going way beyond to help his family out. This shows you have a set, many people would have walked away from a situation like that in a heartbeat. Being able to step up and do something like that says a huge amount about your character.

I worked for a mortuary back some years ago. Seen my share of grisly things, probably the worst was this guy, who when his gay lover gave him the jilt, decided to end in it all. Went up into the woods in the Oregon coast range and stuck a fucking .44 magnum in his mouth and pulled the trigger. Sitting inside a 78 Corvette, in late July. 5 days later the sheriff finds him up there. Took the entire portion of his head from the mouth up clean off, ( What up Clint ??) and spread it all over that Corvette. Bears and cougars had tried to get in the car, but did not. Hole about the size of a baseball in the car roof.

Cigars are your best friend, big nasty smelling dog turd cigars. Put on some disposable coveralls and light one of those up and puff like a mo fo. Double bagged him in a 6 mil plastic body bag and right to the creamatorium.

Then there was the old gal who was a cat hoarder. She had over 17 cats in her house, some in boxes, tied up to chairs. She drops dead in the living room on day, and the cats went all Friskies on her. Ate the fucking eyeballs first and then started eating on the rest of her face. Crazy of bat.

[Goober McTuber]

Then there was the old gal who was a cat hoarder. She had over 17 cats in her house, some in boxes, tied up to chairs. She drops dead in the living room on day, and the cats went all Friskies on her. Ate the fucking eyeballs first and then started eating on the rest of her face. Crazy of bat.

I would have expected them to start with the va-jay-jay.

[Python]

Bobjuice, Bobjuice, Bobjuice

Now where's freakin' Michael Keaton?

[R-Jack]

Then there was the old gal who was a cat hoarder. She had over 17 cats in her house, some in boxes, tied up to chairs. She drops dead in the living room on day, and the cats went all Friskies on her. Ate the fucking eyeballs first and then started eating on the rest of her face. Crazy of bat.

I would have expected them to start with the va-jay-jay.

They aren't cannibals.

[Python]

Rack R-Jack

[The State]

Double Rack... R-Jack !


By the way... it's going to get hot as hell here in couple of days.


Prepare.

[BSmack]

Then there was the old gal who was a cat hoarder. She had over 17 cats in her house, some in boxes, tied up to chairs. She drops dead in the living room on day, and the cats went all Friskies on her. Ate the fucking eyeballs first and then started eating on the rest of her face. Crazy of bat.

I would have expected them to start with the va-jay-jay.

Even hungry cats don't want anything to do with old lady cat hoarder mange.

[Goober McTuber]

Then there was the old gal who was a cat hoarder. She had over 17 cats in her house, some in boxes, tied up to chairs. She drops dead in the living room on day, and the cats went all Friskies on her. Ate the fucking eyeballs first and then started eating on the rest of her face. Crazy of bat.

I would have expected them to start with the va-jay-jay.

Even hungry cats don't want anything to do with old lady cat hoarder mange.

Smells like fish.