My Next Career?

[Smackie Chan]

I plan to retire from the job that y’all have been funding through tax dollars around the end of May and embark on new adventures. One option I’ve already begun pursuing is narration, and the first two audiobooks I narrated became available this week through a number of different outlets, including Audible. Click “Sample” below the books’ images if you wanna get a taste of how they sound. Of course, it wouldn’t hurt my feelings if purchases were to be made, either. Here’s the link.

[Mikey]

I hope you're paying the state sales taxes...

[Python]

That's the absolute and complete opposite of anything I should ever try in my lifetime.

[BSmack]

You came to the right place to peddle a Bill O'Reilly audiobook.

[Smackie Chan]

You came to the right place to peddle a Bill O'Reilly audiobook.

It's actually not the O'Reilly book...it's a summary of the book. Basically, Cliffs Notes.

[Wolfman]

Narration is not by Smackie Chan?

[BSmack]

You came to the right place to peddle a Bill O'Reilly audiobook.

It's actually not the O'Reilly book...it's a summary of the book. Basically, Cliffs Notes.

Even better. Going for the short attention span MAGA crowd. Brilliant play.

[Dinsdale]

Even better. Going for the short attention span MAGA crowd. Brilliant play.

Spoken like someone who has never done contract work. Getting into the employer's views* when contemplating work is a great path to being broke.


* -- If a potential contractee is sporting the Jesus fish on their vehicle or business cards/papers, or discusses religion during negotiations... RUN, don't walk. You're not getting paid. A truly universal rule, which I've learned the much too hard way, over and over.

[Derron]

Sounds good Smackie. I need to get some commercials done here in the next few months, probably contact you then.

[Derron]

* -- If a potential contractee is sporting the Jesus fish on their vehicle or business cards/papers, or discusses religion during negotiations... RUN, don't walk. You're not getting paid. A truly universal rule, which I've learned the much too hard way, over and over.

This. I worked for a guy about 18 years ago as an operations manager at a construction company. He was a hard core Bible pounder, had a huge picture of Jesus on the wall behind his huge oak desk. He was a sawed off little mother fucker, and had a chair where everybody sat across the desk from him on his elevated pedestal. He had this smirk, I relate it to the "smile" that a Mormon give you right before he fucks you in a business deal. He brought me in to do a turn around on the operations side of things which I started to do. I started to shake things up like he wanted but then he started to pull back.

That was after I ran into this Bible thumper out at Spirit Mt Casino with where he had $ 5,000 down on the roulette table and this blonde ho on his arm (not his wife). He saw me and damn near fell off his chair. I went up to him and said yo yo yo bro looks like you got a great night going here. See you Monday. I had pretty much decided to part ways with this idiot, and he called me to his office for a meeting. I said, kind of busy meet me on this job site. We agreed that my work was done, and that I should get an
$ 8,000 performance bonus and we both moved on. He still is a hard core Bible thumper, and I would not trust that weasel as far as I could throw him.

[smackaholic]

Kind of odd hearing Smackie's talk about anything other than musicians. In that second clip he says "awful, awful music" and I thought, this is where you need to ad-lib it up a bit, dude.

Regarding the first clip, I find it a national tradgedy that Hinkley actually considered going after Ted Kennedy, but moved on to Ronnie. All though, I suppose completing the family assasination hat trick would have made the Kennedy clan even more g0d-like in the eyes of libtards.

Good luck with the new venture, Smackie. Have you looked into doing any DJ work?

[Softball Bat]

"Dave" sounded pretty official and business-like in reading that "creepy" Reagan/Hinkley material.

He might have a future.
But I think I'd need to see if he could expand his vocal horizons.

For example, I wonder how he's do with Fifty Shades of Grey?

Give it a listen, but turn your speakers down.
Some material is not suitable for children.

[Smackie Chan]

In that second clip he says "awful, awful music" and I thought, this is where you need to ad-lib it up a bit, dude.

For that book, I pretty much just read what the author wrote. Not my job or his desire to for me to ad lib, although I didn't include obvious errors, of which there were a few. The Reagan book, however, was in desperate need of an editor; lots of style, grammar, syntax, and even factual errors, and I took more liberties with it than with the other one. For instance, it stated that Ford chose Spiro Agnew as his veep. I chose to mispronounce it as Nelson Rockefeller. It also related a story about a meeting that took place in March of '87 that referred to Don Regan as Reagan's "new" CoS, when in fact Regan assumed that role two years earlier and was replaced by Howard Baker in Feb of '87, meaning the meeting couldn't have taken place in March. So I read March as February.[/quote]

Have you looked into doing any DJ work?

Won't do that until after I've moved.

[Goober McTuber]

Maybe you could start narrating and recording Rooster's posts. For me, they're mostly unreadable.

[Shlomart Ben Yisrael]

For me, they're mostly unreadable.

Take comfort...it's not just you...