Euro, Fester...How is this possible???

Van · Post by **Van** » Mon Apr 24, 2006 4:15 pm

Anybody who's first reaction to a ball flying directly at them is to to concave their chest or use their forehead to make the play rather than simply use their hands is basically a guy stuck on the middle rung of the evolutionary ladder who didn't make the cut for Cirque Du Soleil.

Face it, Euro, if neither team is able to score at all then the game is biased far too much to the defense.

See You Next Wednesday · Mon Apr 24, 2006 4:28 pm

Nishlord wrote:FIFA are desperate to get the US on board, which was the reason for The Travesty That Was The World Cup In 1994 That Everyone Who Holds Football Dear In Their Hearts Has Tried To Forget.

Actually the 94 World Cup was a great success and probably the only folks who don't think so would are bitter Englishmen because their team couldn't even qualify.

Nishlord · Post by **Nishlord** » Tue Apr 25, 2006 9:58 am

No it wasn't. Worst Brazilian team to ever win a World Cup, Maradona getting banned, horrible final. And those US away shirts were a absolute travesty.

And we were shit at the time, so I wasn't that arsed that we didn't qualify.

socal · Post by **socal** » Tue Apr 25, 2006 2:45 pm

Van, you indignant, flag-waving agrisexual!

Defense wins championships. (Well, that plus a few timely three pointers and a referee who swallows his whistle at the first sight of all things Kazam.) The Pistons may as well be a sahkuh team.

Quit yer bitchin' and lace 'em up. You and Fester versus me and my 10 year old daughter.

Van · Post by **Van** » Tue Apr 25, 2006 7:11 pm

Fester's definitely the goalie.

Uncle Fester · Post by **Uncle Fester** » Tue Apr 25, 2006 8:18 pm

I actually played soccer with my nieces and nephews over the Easter break. I was bustin moves like Pato Margetic with my famous "fake to the right" and my celebrated "step over the ball and kick with my heel" movage.

But even with my niece pushing the goal cones about two feet apart we still managed to score a few GOALS, which is more than can be said for the average epic nil-nil scrap between Winsleydale Union and New Umberton.

Our game was riotous fun for about ten minutes. I think we gave up to head for the swingset and later, to throw a tennis ball against a wall.

Van · Post by **Van** » Tue Apr 25, 2006 8:31 pm

Classic...

socal · Post by **socal** » Tue Apr 25, 2006 10:36 pm

Van wrote:Fester's definitely the goalie.

.
.
.
Thierry Henry, Van's Chatsworth porn wig,
and Barcelona's Number One Fan Uncle Fester.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Tue Apr 25, 2006 11:58 pm

Nish,

I'm waiting for an answer. Do you think that sahkah would be improved by alowing unlimited substituting? Has this been discussed?

The problem is not that sahkah is too weighted towards defense. The problem is that it is weighted to fukkers getting worn out in the second half. It's kinda like old school boxing, where 2 fukkers just leaned on one another for 30 or 40 rounds.

Nishlord · Post by **Nishlord** » Wed Apr 26, 2006 10:17 am

Unlimited substituting would be a disaster. You'd get free-kick, throw-in and corner specialists nipping on and off, and teams like Chelsea (who can afford 40-man squads) would win everything forever.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Wed Apr 26, 2006 11:36 pm

OK, I can see how unlimited changes would interupt the flow of the game, but, maybe something in between. Perhaps something like if you come in or off, you are there for a 5 or 10 minute minimum. There has to be something that can be done to liven things up a bit. Maybe limit the substituting to the starting squad plus 5. Anyone other than this group entering the game would result in the substituted player being out for the game.

Nishlord · Post by **Nishlord** » Thu Apr 27, 2006 10:07 am

Mate,

The rest of the world likes it just how it is, thank you.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Thu Apr 27, 2006 11:46 am

so, you enjoy nil-nil ties or better yet, WC nil-nil followed by the excitement of penalty kicks?

do you blokes watch america's cup sailboat racing on the telly as well?

Uncle Fester · Post by **Uncle Fester** » Thu Apr 27, 2006 3:26 pm

Something is wrong with a sport when scoring in the normal course of the game is about as rare as a Brit with enough teeth to bite into an apple.

If by some miracle you manage to get the ball onside AND beat your man, the reward is that some snaggletoothed Gomer will kick your legs out. Then you get a "penalty kick" (see Free Throw) behind a line of unwashed Euros who stand in front of you, wincing and grabbing their nuts like kids asking to pee.

The only way to get the ball past this knobby-kneed picket line is to kick it high into the air, whereby the goalie will do a cartwheel and pretend that this is somehow necessary to deflect a ball that is sailing 30 feet over the fukking goal.

Meanwhile, the bored and drunken fans are singing songs and felating each other until somebody throws a smoke bomb and the whole mess decends into a giant riot. This is actually the most interesting part of the whole game.

smackaholic · Post by **smackaholic** » Sat Apr 29, 2006 2:11 am

Uncle Fester wrote:Something is wrong with a sport when scoring in the normal course of the game is about as rare as a Brit with enough teeth to bite into an apple.

If by some miracle you manage to get the ball onside AND beat your man, the reward is that some snaggletoothed Gomer will kick your legs out. Then you get a "penalty kick" (see Free Throw) behind a line of unwashed Euros who stand in front of you, wincing and grabbing their nuts like kids asking to pee.

The only way to get the ball past this knobby-kneed picket line is to kick it high into the air, whereby the goalie will do a cartwheel and pretend that this is somehow necessary to deflect a ball that is sailing 30 feet over the fukking goal.

Meanwhile, the bored and drunken fans are singing songs and felating each other until somebody throws a bag of piss and the whole mess decends into a giant riot. This is actually the most interesting part of the whole game.

ftfy