T1B

smackaholic wrote:BTW, my wife and I went the IVF route for our son. Best 8 grand I ever spent. That's right, me.

Overweight.

Shooting blanks.

Watches American Idol.


Yeah, you da man.

Dinsdale wrote:

Atomic Punk wrote:For KatMode, do you drink Dr. Pepper soft drinks after sex?

RACK HIM!

HE GETS IT!

Lazy-Eyed Mike In Fresneck is our huge, HUUUGE call of the day!

still don't get it. help a brotha out.

http://www.snopes.com/cokelore/sperm.asp

Coca-Cola may not be promoting its product as a spermicidal douche, but the idea ain't new. Coke (and Dr. Pepper in the southern States) douches have been part of contraceptive lore at least since the 1950s, with the common belief being that the carbonic acid in Coke killed the sperm and the sugar "exploded" the sperm cells, while the carbonation of the drink forced the jet of liquid into the vagina. Back in the 1950s and 1960s, this method of parenthood prevention proved somewhat popular because not only was it cheap and universally available at a time when reliable birth control methods were hard to come by, but it also came in its own handy "shake and shoot" disposable applicator. After intercourse, the girl would uncap a warm Coke, put her thumb over the mouth of the bottle, shake up the beverage, then insert the neck of the bottle in her vagina and move her thumb out of the way. The warm well-shaken Coke became an effervescent spermicidal douche, with the traditional (at that time) six-ounce bottle providing what was deemed to be just the right amount for one application.

I'm assuming that's what it's in reference to in some way.

Tom In VA wrote:http://www.snopes.com/cokelore/sperm.asp

Coca-Cola may not be promoting its product as a spermicidal douche, but the idea ain't new. Coke (and Dr. Pepper in the southern States) douches have been part of contraceptive lore at least since the 1950s, with the common belief being that the carbonic acid in Coke killed the sperm and the sugar "exploded" the sperm cells, while the carbonation of the drink forced the jet of liquid into the vagina. Back in the 1950s and 1960s, this method of parenthood prevention proved somewhat popular because not only was it cheap and universally available at a time when reliable birth control methods were hard to come by, but it also came in its own handy "shake and shoot" disposable applicator. After intercourse, the girl would uncap a warm Coke, put her thumb over the mouth of the bottle, shake up the beverage, then insert the neck of the bottle in her vagina and move her thumb out of the way. The warm well-shaken Coke became an effervescent spermicidal douche, with the traditional (at that time) six-ounce bottle providing what was deemed to be just the right amount for one application.

I'm assuming that's what it's in reference to in some way.

Drop some Mentos in there and you've got the makings of some homemade porn.

I rarely listen to Twat Bitch anymore.

Did yesterday.

Elf closed the show by mentioning an ex-coworker or someone who swore that the chick slamming a Dr Pepper immediately after sex prevented pregnancy.

It was in regards to Tom Brady.

It then inspired an e-mail from Mr Pibb.

It was reasonably funny, by modern-era Jungle standards.


Edit: The word filter axes references to the Bitter Elf? Classic.

Back in the late 60’s a band called the Fugs did a song called “Coca-Cola Douche”.

Her pelvis got the caffeine shakes
Come on down for an ice cream soda
I just got a Coca-Cola douche.


They also had a romantic little number called “Saran Wrap”.

After the prom
I ain’t got no scum-bag
Saran Wrap. Saran Wrap.

Goober McTuber wrote:

smackaholic wrote:BTW, my wife and I went the IVF route for our son. Best 8 grand I ever spent. That's right, me.

Overweight.

Shooting blanks.

Watches American Idol.


Yeah, you da man.

Overweight? Yeah, a bit, but I'm working on it.

Watches AI? Guilty.

Shooting Blanks? Not me pal. My swimmers are fine. The OL had some plumbing issues with an ectopic pregnancy about a year after our daughter was born. Not even my mark spitz like boys could find paydirt after that. The bright side is that I have pretty much completely forgotten how much wearing a rubber sux. Haven't worn one since the early nineties.

Ofcourse this could change if your sister doesn't stop bothering me.

smackaholic wrote:Ofcourse this could change if your sister doesn't stop bothering me.

See, this is just so much fresher than that whole "I fucked your mom" smack. Tell her I said hi.

BSmack wrote:There is a way that you can get some of the cost defrayed. If your district offers flexible health care spending accounts, just set up an account next year for the cost of the procedure. Since the limit is 5,000 dollars and most lasik procedures are in the 2500 dollar range you can realize a real savings of around 500-600 dollars on that procedure. Plus, the money is deducted on a per pay period basis over the year. So it amounts to a tax free, interest free loan.

I'm planning on doing it next year. Unwar me not thinking of it sooner.

https://www.fsafeds.com/fsafeds/faq.asp#g1a

Almost correct. IRC Section 125 caps employee contributions to a Dependant Daycare FSA at $5,000. However, the plan limit for Unreimbursed Medical FSA is solely determined by the plan sponsor - usually the employer in most cases. Why? Because by definition, an Unreimbursed Medical FSA is a prefunded account and the plan sponsor assumes all the liability for the plan.

Let's say that your employer sponsors an Unreimbursed Medical FSA with a $10,000 plan limit (not unheard of in certain industries). During open enrollment, you elect the maximum, and during the first week of the new plan year you incur qualified expenses for the entire amount (lasik for you and your spouse; braces for the nipper).

To cover these expenses, you simply submit a signed claim form and substantiation for the expense (a receipt will usually do) to the plan's administrator, and voila! you should receive a check for the full amount of the expense(s) incurred within a week or two. And all of this before you've made a single payroll contribution to the account. So where did the money come from? Why, from your employer, the plan sponsor....

Now, let's say you quit.

You've just dropped 10,000 bones on eyes and a new grill for the kid, and you walk off the job. Your ex-employer has absolutely zero recourse to collect the 10 grand you just spent, nor are you under any legal obligation to pay back a single red cent to your employer. See why employers have the final say-so for Unreimbursed Medical FSA plan limits? A common limit is $2,000. A generous limit is $5,000. The limit your employer has established will be included in the Summary Plan Description provided to you at Open Enrollment. But word to the wise: Do Not sign up for an Unreimbursed Medical FSA unless you have a solid plan to spend the cash. Otherwise, unspent contributions are subject to forfeiture (the ol' use it or lose it rule) at the conslusion of the plan year.

Hope this helps....

Y2K wrote:Hell, I've only been wearing glasses for a little over 5 years and I hate the fucking things.

I'm already saving up for the Laser Doc.

I don't mind the glasses so much -- if the vision had declined to a certain point and then leveled off, that is. It's the fact that my vision continues to decline with every eye appointment that gets to me.

Bifocals by 41. At this rate I'll be legally blind by 60 -- if I live that long.

Don't worry, terry. I've been to crapchester. Nothing worth seeing anyway.

Terry in Crapchester wrote:if I live that long.

Aww, don't sweat it, bro.

-JSC