How was Church?

Tom In VA · Post by **Tom In VA** » Fri Mar 16, 2007 1:47 am

Rootbeer wrote:If one of them is not being a good example that should not influence your relationship to your God.

So are you saying it's NOT a valid excuse to denounce it all and use it to justify my sinful existence ?

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Fri Mar 16, 2007 2:18 am

What causes you to hit the space bar before inserting a question mark?

diet ? Or genetics ?

Rootbeer · Post by **Rootbeer** » Fri Mar 16, 2007 3:16 pm

Rootbeer wrote:We have a new instructor and she's a bit overwhelmed right now. Lots of "uhh...ummm..and then...uhhh".

I just found out this lady had a stroke recently. I should probably feel bad about making fun of her.

ucantdoitdoggieSTyle2 · Fri Mar 16, 2007 3:40 pm

Rootbeer wrote:
Rootbeer wrote:We have a new instructor and she's a bit overwhelmed right now. Lots of "uhh...ummm..and then...uhhh".
I just found out this lady had a stroke recently. I should probably feel bad about making fun of her.

Actually, the next time this stuttering bitch takes 20 seconds to spit out 4 words, I'd go with:

"Whhhhh, whhhhhhhaaaa, whhhaaaahhhhhhhhhat's, da, da, da, mmmm, mmmmm, mmmmmmmmmatttter, yyyyy, yyyy, yyyyyyy, yyyyyyyyoooouuuuuuuu, fffff, fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff, ffffffucccccckkkkiiiinnnnggggg, tttt, ttttt, tttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrddd?"

...assaulting her crooked greel with about 3 quarts of spittle and then maybe hit her up with an atomic elbow for good measure.

But hey... that's just me.

Tom In VA · Post by **Tom In VA** » Fri Mar 16, 2007 4:54 pm

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:What causes you to hit the space bar before inserting a question mark?

diet ? Or genetics ?

Habit, it's intended to convey the "Spock, inquisitive One Eye Brow Raided Look" as opposed to "Blue Steel".

NOT

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Fri Mar 16, 2007 5:11 pm

Tom In VA wrote:
MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:What causes you to hit the space bar before inserting a question mark?

diet ? Or genetics ?

Habit, it's intended to convey the "Spock, inquisitive One Eye Brow Raided Look" as opposed to "Blue Steel".

NOT

Figures you wouldn't be an ambiturner.

LTS TRN 2 · Post by **LTS TRN 2** » Fri Mar 16, 2007 5:55 pm

Isn't it funny how similar Mormon is to moron? Sure, Rooter, your paradigm of reality is rational and based on realistic factors of the earth and nature....NOT

The malignant contagion known as the Church Of Latter Day Saints is in fact a money machine, generating billions of dollars through gentle coercion ("tithing") and enterprise. And the purpose of this decidedly unspiritual mountain of mammon? To FURTHER propogate their cult...presumably until the End Of Days.
Yep, they're just another pathetic cowering horde of sad shallow losers whose fear of reality is so pronounced that ONLY the shelter of a sci-fi start-up cult can bring them the proper mental handrail they require to "act naturally."

So, on Sunday you "studied scripture"? Huh? You mean the hackneyed gibberish in the "Book Of Mormon"? That ludicrous pile of unreadable gak that makes the "New Testament" seem like real literature? The book which among othe idiotic imaginings states that HORSES roamed the North American continent many centuries before the arrival of the Spanish?

Rooter, you are truly a moron. And your "religion" is an embarrasment to the human condition and an affront to the natural world, a totally fake and vile cult. Carry on.

Smackie Chan · Post by **Smackie Chan** » Fri Mar 16, 2007 6:08 pm

PSUFAN wrote:It's a bitter lesson to learn - that those who pose as your authority figures are as dishonest as those they tend to castigate.

Nonetheless, it's a useful thing to come to terms with early on in life...

Sorry to hear that you were molested as a child. Lemme guess - you blame your clergyman's violation of your wrinkle star for the lack of bowel control that results in your underoo discoloration?

Tom In VA · Post by **Tom In VA** » Fri Mar 16, 2007 6:48 pm

BSmack wrote: Figures you wouldn't be an ambiturner.

Figures you would twist something completely around. :P

I'm Spock damn it.

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Fri Mar 16, 2007 7:01 pm

Tom In VA wrote:
BSmack wrote: Figures you wouldn't be an ambiturner.
Figures you would twist something completely around. :P

I'm Spock damn it.

So when are you going to break out Magnum?

Tom In VA · Post by **Tom In VA** » Fri Mar 16, 2007 7:08 pm

BSmack wrote:
Tom In VA wrote:
BSmack wrote: Figures you wouldn't be an ambiturner.
Figures you would twist something completely around. :P

I'm Spock damn it.
So when are you going to break out Magnum?

So many ways we can go from here.

The look
The booze
The pistol
The rubber
The car
The P.I.
The large wine bottle (assuming this is where the prophylactic gets it's name)
etc.. etc...

I'll just assume you're talking about my diploma from University of Phoenix ... Magnum Cum Laude :P

Jay in Phoenix · Post by **Jay in Phoenix** » Fri Mar 16, 2007 8:05 pm

BSmack wrote:So when are you going to break out Magnum?

Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2007 4:08 pm Post subject:

Tom in VA wrote:So many ways we can go from here.

The look
The booze
The pistol
The rubber
The car
The P.I.

You know it's all about the P.I. baby.

BSmack · Post by **BSmack** » Sat Mar 17, 2007 1:50 am

Tom In VA wrote:
BSmack wrote:
Tom In VA wrote: Figures you would twist something completely around. :P

I'm Spock damn it.
So when are you going to break out Magnum?
So many ways we can go from here.

The man has only one look, for Christ's sake! Blue Steel? Ferrari? Le Tigra? They're the same face! Doesn't anybody notice this? I feel like I'm taking crazy pills!

Rootbeer · Post by **Rootbeer** » Mon Mar 26, 2007 2:33 pm

At church yesterday we studied the parable of the sower in one class and in the other class we studied Christ's Atonement and His promise to lift the heavily laden. They were good lessons. I felt spiritually uplifted. I love 2 Corinthians chapter 12. "...for when I am weak then am I strong." Werd up. Dan Fogel can attest to the truth of that and we should all reco'nize.

Some new people moved into the ward recently. Their three kids are named Bradlee Hope, Brenyn Faith, and Bryten. I want to shoot these idjits so badly. What is wrong with parents these days? Some other kids I attend church with: Keegan Trey, Makiya, Makayla, McKayla, Kalli, Kaylie, Kaylie (twice), Kaylie(thrice), Kylee, Kaleigh, Kailey, Kylie, Kylie(twice), Katelyn, Katelynn, Katelyn, Caitlyn, Caitlin, Ashlynn, Ashlyn, Ashlyn(twice), Treyson, and Treyden. The list of parents that need beaten severely continues to grow. Speaking of which where is the guy who has a bus trip planned to beat up posters from this board? Maybe he'd stop over here and kick some trash in my neighborhood.

G.O. · Post by **G.O.** » Mon Mar 26, 2007 2:55 pm

Rootbeer, do mormon men become 'gods' if they do what they are supposed to do?

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Mon Mar 26, 2007 2:58 pm

Rootbeer wrote:Kaylie, Kaylie (twice), Kaylie(thrice), Kylee, Kaleigh, Kailey

I'll take, "Mentally challenged KC offspring for $200," Alex.

Rootbeer · Post by **Rootbeer** » Mon Mar 26, 2007 3:13 pm

MGO, I think it's the parents who are mentally challenged.

G.O., the entirety of the gospel of Jesus Christ is found in the Bible. If you are willing to look, you will find all the answers to your doctrinal questions. I'll help you out this time but from here on when you ask in earnest* you need to first seek in earnest. See John 16:15 and then Luke 22:29.

* If you do not ask in earnest then don't waste my time.

Cuda · Post by **Cuda** » Mon Mar 26, 2007 3:30 pm

It was bound to happen when the mormon church decided to admit darkies: Spelling goes to straight to heck. Won;t be long before the kids will start getting darkie names too. Sounds like you're already halfway there.

1smoothG · Post by **1smoothG** » Mon Mar 26, 2007 5:57 pm

Here's a quick poll/quiz:

Do you go to church on Sundays?

A: Yes
B: No

Ok, now go back and add up all the times you answered A, and give yourself one point for each.

1 or more points: You are a fucking retard. No exceptions.
0 points: There's probably some other reason you're a retard, but you at least don't waste your sunday mornings on this shit.

Rootbeer · Post by **Rootbeer** » Mon Mar 26, 2007 6:12 pm

1smoothG wrote: 1 or more points: You are a fucking retard. No exceptions.
0 points: There's probably some other reason you're a retard, but you at least don't waste your sunday mornings on this shit.

If you believe in an afterlife of any kind you need to seriously consider this issue. If you don't believe in an afterlife why are you wasting your time on this board? Go out and kill and eat children or whatever it is you heathens do. At the end of the line you will have an opportunity to make your case for or against Jesus Christ. Before you get to that judgment day you'd better make bullet-proof sure of your position. If you think living life agnostically without ever seriously studying religion beyond what your godless friends are saying I think you're risking a hell of a lot.

Invictus · Post by **Invictus** » Mon Mar 26, 2007 6:24 pm

Cuda wrote:It was bound to happen when the mormon church decided to admit darkies: Spelling goes to straight to heck. Won;t be long before the kids will start getting darkie names too. Sounds like you're already halfway there.

You have a point there.

I'll also venture that the majority of the ni.ggers in Rooty's church probably have permanent jobs with benefits and very few have feigh dogs with cotton ball shaved in their tails.

darkies>cuda

StankHo · Post by **StankHo** » Mon Mar 26, 2007 6:39 pm

Rootbeer wrote: Go out and kill and eat children or whatever it is you heathens do.

I like my dead babies on toast with a little bit of mayo. If you know what's good for you, there better be some BBQ Lays on the side as well. Now that spells refreshment!

Cuda · Post by **Cuda** » Mon Mar 26, 2007 7:24 pm

Invictus wrote:
darkies>cuda

Your math is incorrect, oh soul-brother.

So is your physics

G.O. · Post by **G.O.** » Mon Mar 26, 2007 7:42 pm

Rootbeer wrote:
G.O., the entirety of the gospel of Jesus Christ is found in the Bible. If you are willing to look, you will find all the answers to your doctrinal questions. I'll help you out this time but from here on when you ask in earnest* you need to first seek in earnest. See John 16:15 and then Luke 22:29.

* If you do not ask in earnest then don't waste my time.

geez, root. i didnt even give you crap like most other posters here. why the defensiveness???

anyway. i'm familiar with the gospel. i'm also familiar with the teachings of the latter day saints. i've met with mormon missionaries several times to talk about their teachings, many of which the missionaries were unaware of, including the one i mentioned about men becoming 'gods'. interesting that you mention that the entirity of the gospel if found in the bible, as the bible teaches monotheism very clearly. also interesting you say that because LDS also believe this "We believe the Bible to be the word of God as far as it is translated correctly"

MgoBlue-LightSpecial · Mon Mar 26, 2007 10:26 pm

Rootbeer wrote:If you don't believe in an afterlife why are you wasting your time on this board? Go out and kill and eat children or whatever it is you heathens do.

This is fucking retarded. There are lots of compassionate and moral "do gooders" in this world that don't adhere to a mythological being. The wantingness to do "what's right" is a genuine and inherent feeling in most, and has NOTHING to do with who or what you believe in religiously.

But to answer your question in all honesty, I'm sure a lot more people would act like heathens if there wasn't this minor little setback called "prison time."

Mister Bushice · Post by **Mister Bushice** » Mon Mar 26, 2007 10:46 pm

we studied Christ's Atonement and His promise to lift the heavily laden

Why do fat people get special treatment?

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Mon Mar 26, 2007 10:49 pm

Mister Bushice wrote:Why do fat people get special treatment?

^^^ Apparently hasn't met very many Mormons.

poptart · Post by **poptart** » Tue Mar 27, 2007 7:42 am

Mormonism is a heresy.

Rootbeer wrote:See John 16:15 and then Luke 22:29.

These scriptures do NOT indicate that men can become Gods.
Ridiculous.

John 16:15 is Jesus telling the disciples that after He leaves it will be the Holy Spirit which will teach them the things of God.

Luke 22:29 is Jesus telling the disciples that, by virtue of believing in Him, they are within God's Covenant.

It's interesting to note that the very thing satan deceived man into thinking (while leading him to break God's loving Covenant) was that by breaking the Covenant man could be as Gods.

Rootbeer · Post by **Rootbeer** » Tue Mar 27, 2007 6:58 pm

G.O. are you honestly telling me that there's only one translation of the Bible? Then show me where the bible uses the word "trinity".

poptart, I take my Savior at his word. The quotes from the King James version read "All things that the Father hath are mine: therefore said I, that he shall take of mine, and shall shew it unto you." Then in Luke 22: "And I appoint unto you a kingdom, as my Father hath appointed unto me" From God comes all things to the Son and from Christ to us through His Atonement. It is very clear if your eyes are open.

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Tue Mar 27, 2007 7:06 pm

Funny shit.

You clowns do realize that I could interperet a BBQJones post to "prove" that Amare Stoudemire is the Savior, right?

B-b-b-b-b-b-ut.....there were WITNESSES!

Too bad the thumpers "because some dude I've never met said so" (although his kid is hitting you up for 10% of your cash...HELLO?) defense sounds so dumb to anyone outside of their respective cults.

Rootbeer · Post by **Rootbeer** » Tue Mar 27, 2007 7:13 pm

e wrote:vic, one thing i'm not sure "the darkies" realized before they joined up was that, sure, lots of kids with lots of women sounded like what they were already doing but in rooty's chruch, you gotta stick around and marry those women.

Rack that (belated)

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Tue Mar 27, 2007 7:38 pm

mvscal wrote: You can shove your gay fairy tales straight up your ass, you fucking faggot.

Now now, mv.

Take it easy. These are morally upstanding people...

who think "I'm right!" NO! I'M RIGHT!" is somehow living in tune with Jesus' ideals.

Quite the bit of humility these folks show, eh?

And this is why "christians" KTOA every time they open their mouth...since you'd be hard-pressed to actually find a Christian...but daaaaamn, there's hundreds of millions of people claiming to be one.

Never met one that walks the walk after talking the talk...not one.

Tom In VA · Post by **Tom In VA** » Tue Mar 27, 2007 7:42 pm

Dinsdale wrote: Never met one that walks the walk after talking the talk...not one.

I've met some. Where do you hang out ?

Dinsdale · Post by **Dinsdale** » Tue Mar 27, 2007 7:46 pm

Tom In VA wrote:
I've met some.

No, you haven't -- you're just particularly gullible, Tom.

Tom In VA · Post by **Tom In VA** » Tue Mar 27, 2007 7:50 pm

Dinsdale wrote:
Tom In VA wrote:
I've met some.

No, you haven't -- you're just particularly gullible, Tom.

Nah, I'm not gullible. I just don't argue much anymore. As long as somebody isn't fucking with me and mine, I don't really give a shit what he/she "thinks" or "believes".

But I have seen some folks who are great examples of what I thought Christians were supposed to be. Mind you, I'm not one. But I've seen them and am humbled by their existence, faith, and perserverence in spite of the obstacle thrown in their path.

But if you'd like to continue to believe that you are the only person that "knows" anything, feel free. I support your belief. In fact, I'd just say ...

"Hey Dins, you're right, you sure do know a lot about a lot".

But then again I am sho' ams "gullible" massa.

Tom In VA · Post by **Tom In VA** » Tue Mar 27, 2007 7:58 pm

mvscal wrote:
Dinsdale wrote:you'd be hard-pressed to actually find a Christian...but daaaaamn, there's hundreds of millions of people claiming to be one.
At least their hypocrisy is somewhat understandable. What is completely inexplicable is the fact that anybody worships that cunty little faggot in the first place.

He was only following orders. Meaning, if you follow Christ, you understand that his unwillingness to "fight back like a man" ... if that's what you're alluding to ... stems from the notion that he was sent to die, and die in the horrific fashion depicted in the gospel.

That's assuming you have trouble with Christ's passiveness and that's why you call him a "cunty faggot".

And as far as I know Christ never instructed anyone to "Go forth and be a doormat for knuckleheads".

But I'm a fallen one.

Mister Bushice · Post by **Mister Bushice** » Tue Mar 27, 2007 7:59 pm

cunty faggot

How'd he manage that? That's a sideshow attraction, right there.

Mikey · Post by **Mikey** » Tue Mar 27, 2007 8:00 pm

Tom In VA wrote:
But I'm a fallen one.

Doormat or knucklehead?

:wink:

Tom In VA · Post by **Tom In VA** » Tue Mar 27, 2007 8:00 pm

Mikey wrote:
Tom In VA wrote:
But I'm a fallen one.
Doormat or knucklehead?

:wink:

Both actually.

Mike the Lab Rat · Post by **Mike the Lab Rat** » Tue Mar 27, 2007 9:30 pm

mvscal wrote:Christianity is a religion for slaves....

Preach it, brutha!

I'm not sure if parroting a syphilitic nutjob best known for inspiring Nazis is the best way to argue against Christianity....

T1B

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