T1B

I've said it before, I'll say it again -- you don't wanna run out of gas miles from Fallon at 2:30AM in the middle of winter. Unless I suppose you're into meeting methed-out senior citizen Hell's Angels, I guess, and are into being propositioned for gas station bathroom sexual encounters by toothless Injun skanks.

Great night that was.

My whole idea of what constitutes a "shithole" changed that day.


It is cool of them to put all those lighted radar-speed signs out along US95, though -- it makes it easier to check the accuracy of your speedometer when you're up into the triple-digits.


And I'm still trying to figure out why there's both a Navy base and a Coast Gaurd station in the middle of the freaking desert -- I suppose if the Mormons mobilize their troops (AGAIN... you'd think they'd have learned after the last 3 failed attempts) and start heading across Salt Lake, we'll be ready for them.


And no, I'm not making that up -- there's a freaking Navy base and a Coast Gaurd station in the middle of nowhere in Nevada ("middle of nowhere" and Nevada could be considered redundant-btw).


SUPERLATIVE shithole.

BTW -- in one of those shithole hole-in-the-wall towns along US95, where you have to stop for a crosswalk in the middle of the desert, in the middle of the night, there was some great big pimp parading an Injun midget hooker up and down the sidewalk. Nevermind that there wasn't another car within 20 miles. My travelling companion and I actually had to stop and do a double-take, since we were pretty sure we were hallucinating... nope, we weren't -- there really was some dude parading an Injun midget hooker down the sidewalk in the middle of nowhere... then, the laughter ensued.


What a rodie that was. Later, I ended up visiting a buddy in San Fran, and we did the wake-and-bake in a MAJOR way -- to the point of the gigglies and general silliness. Might have been a drink or two involved. Which was all well and good, except I kinda zoned off and couldn't remember which East Bay BART Station I was supposed to meet my ride back to Oregon at, and had no phone contact at the time.


You don't wanna be wasted off your ass and be the only white dude walking around the train stations of Richmond, CA(9th most dangerous city in the USA). I'd recommend against.


But the drive home allowed for a stop at the Redding Liquor Barn, so it all worked out.

Dinsdale wrote: It is cool of them to put all those lighted radar-speed signs out along US95, though -- it makes it easier to check the accuracy of your speedometer when you're up into the triple-digits.

Unfortunately for me, I was driving on a holiday weekend, so the cops were out in force in the small towns trying to generate revenue.

I averaged about 110 any time I was outside some shitty Nevada burg, but got caught by a NHP doing 75 in a 65. Fortunately for me, I had to slow down behind a semi from about 100 to 60. I passed him after a corner as we hit a straightaway. I was just ramping up my speed again when I saw the cop on the opposite side of the road light 'em up. Fuck. Oh well. At least I got a ticket for 10 MPH over the limit rather than 40MPH over. :D

The reason for my trip was to go get an inhereted car in Phoenix. 89 Mercedes 190 -- none too fast. I think the best I did past one of those signs was 106... pretty disappointing.


Next time, try going in the wee hours on a weeknight in February. To say there were few people around would be quite the understatement. Although the toothless Injun skanks, despite their unsatiated lust, were kind enough to warn us against speeding on the Reno/Fallon Highway. They were right, since we made it about 2 freaking miles out of town before the guy who passed us was pulled over. Before that, hadn't seen a cop since we just happened to be driving along in the midst of the end of a high speed police chase in Vegas.

Dinsdale wrote:The reason for my trip was to go get an inhereted car in Phoenix.

too bad it wasnt a dictionairey

jackass

BSmack wrote:

Dog wrote:

Dinsdale wrote:A guy I know who travelled the West Coast for work used to routinely say "If you were to give the United States an enema, you'd shove the tube in Redding."

Your friend obviously never traveled to Pocatello, Idaho, Butte, Montana or Wichita, Kansas.
The armpit, butthole and douchebag of America respectively.

You've obviously never been to Bridgeport, CT.

Don't be haytin' on bridgeport, leave that to me. you got plenty of upstate shitholes to be dissin'. Bridgeport is pretty horific. It almost makes Hartford, New Haven, Waterbury, Meriden, Willi rico errrr Willimantic and a few other shithole Ct cities look good. Almost. That being said, Niagra Falls has shithole over all of them.

As for the others, can't say. I saw some signs to pocatello. Drove through Idaho Falls. It was slightly nicer than Niagra Falls. Only place in Montana I saw was the town at jellystone's north gate. it was a tourist trap, but, seemed pretty cool. Actually spent a night stranded in wichita (fukking pos O'reilly's rebuilt alternator). It seemed nice enough and very, very white.

dins, there is a perfectly good reason for a navy base in the desert. Fallon is a naval air station. The navy, believe it or not does get the chance to blow shit up on land from time to time. fallon is one of the places they practice, prolly because you couldn't possibly fukk it up worse than it is.

The coastie base seems a bit odd, unless they are just there for the amusement of the squids. I suspect it is a coastie air base. Yeah, the coasties actually fly shit too. They prolly use the navy base for training.

smackaholic wrote:I suspect it is a coastie air base.

Yeah, but that takes some of the dramatic æffect off my story.

I'm familiar with Coastie air bases... something about being held at gunpoint at one, or something like that. I tried to tell the drunken idiot I was working with that I didn't think we were in the right place, and I made it known parking right outside the front door and jumping out with beers-in-hand was a bad idea, buit did he listen? Nooooo.

I HATE it when that happens.

smackaholic wrote:

BSmack wrote:You've obviously never been to Bridgeport, CT.

Don't be haytin' on bridgeport, leave that to me. you got plenty of upstate shitholes to be dissin'. Bridgeport is pretty horific. It almost makes Hartford, New Haven, Waterbury, Meriden, Willi rico errrr Willimantic and a few other shithole Ct cities look good. Almost. That being said, Niagra Falls has shithole over all of them.

I was just out by Niagara Falls and there is no way Niagara Falls and Bridgeport should ever be mentioned in the same fucking paragraph when it comes to discussing shitholes.

Oh yea, did I tell you that I worked out of Bridgeport for a couple of months? Worked out of the City Hall of Records generating data sheets for a mortgage company back in NY. Bridgeport was the city that, after working in Buffalo, Niagara Falls, Erie and Syracuse finally made me decide to invest in "The Club" for my ride. I used to serve papers in some pretty rough sections of Rochester and, back then, I was pretty damned accustomed to making my way around and conversing with the various ghetto inhabitants. But these Upstate ghetto peeps have nothing on the hood rats in Bridgeport. Shit, these people were blatantly dealing drugs in apartment complexes right across the street from the damn police station. I used to have to park in that neighborhood, and you would see the empty fucking bags and 40oz bottles strewn in the grass all along the road and the same motherfucking lookouts standing on the porches EVERY DAY as cop cars pulled in and out of the station across the street. Never mind the scary ass ghetto trash hookers who would walk the streets right in front of City Hall picking up dudes in plain sight. Niagara Falls at least has a state park and a casino that attracts some halfway decent entertainment. And nowhere near the kind of nasty ass urban blight that you find anywhere within 3 miles of the Mucci Highway.

As for the others, can't say. I saw some signs to pocatello. Drove through Idaho Falls. It was slightly nicer than Niagra Falls. Only place in Montana I saw was the town at jellystone's north gate. it was a tourist trap, but, seemed pretty cool. Actually spent a night stranded in wichita (fukking pos O'reilly's rebuilt alternator). It seemed nice enough and very, very white.

Can't speak to the Northwest, but a few other places that always rate a mention when discussion the worst shitholes in America have to be Newark, Pasadena, TX and any town with an operational paper mill, the worst that I've seen being Laurel, MS.

BSmack wrote:Can't speak to the Northwest

Neither can smackoholic -- he wasn't there.

I did a job in Otis over the summer, which isn't really a town. Actually, I was in Rose Lodge, right up the road.

Through a friend, I had access to a house right on the freaking beach in Neskowin, about 10 miles north of Lincoln City.

Sometimes in summer, like this last summer when I was working there, just making the short drive from LC to Otis/Rose Lodge, you go through an amazing climate shift... just amazing. The Drink keeps the coastline nice and cool, but a 10 minute drive can bring on a 25 degree or more temp increase.


That is one sweet part of the world, though... except maybe right about now. There's a price to be paid for living there, and part of that price is freaking winter. A month ago, places around there were getting 120+ wind gusts, which really isn't that uncommon for winter on the Coast. And it's been raining cats and dogs here for the last month and a half (I know this because I just stepped in a poodle), and I can only imagine how bad it's been on the North Coast (which LC is on the southern end of).


Pretty sweet fishing in the Otis area, when it's not underwater. But all of those coast streams have been wonka'ed lately.

Then again, I've got a shithole right across the river. And Mother Nature must have mistaken Vancouver for a Midwest shithole, since she tried to wipe it out with a tornado yesterday.

Notice said tornado didn't try and level Portland? Further evidence that trailers and meth attract tornadoes.


Fucker crossed I-5 at some point. That must have been a hoot.

I did a job in Otis

Isn't that the guy who fucked Luther over? He must be fucking merciless.

Dinsdale wrote:Mother Nature must have mistaken Vancouver for a Midwest shithole, since she tried to wipe it out with a tornado yesterday.

Notice said tornado didn't try and level Portland? Further evidence that trailers and meth attract tornadoes.

Fucker crossed I-5 at some point. That must have been a hoot.

RACK any natural disaster that is measured by how much destruction and havoc it wreaks, rather than by wind speed, rate of movement, etc.