T1B

One other thing, Gay in Phoenix. The fact that you consider the numerous exchanges between me and shutyomouth as "flirting" goes a long ways towards explaining why you're permanently single.

BarFlie wrote:hey, when do I get to see the twins?

I like Southwest and American.

I have a Delta app...

BarFlie wrote:I have a Delta app...

Do you get Delta flyer points for helping land aircraft with your gleaming teeth?

I don't wear my diamond laser dentures in public but yes you can home in on them and land a B-52 in an emergency.

Did you really need an app for that one time you packed up all your bongs and flew to NC?

How did those get through TSA anyway?

BarFlie wrote:I have a Delta app...

I prefer SNA.

SNA is the New York Stock Exchange ticker symbol for Snap-on Tools. You are a naughty little girl.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:Did you really need an app for that one time you packed up all your bongs and flew to NC?

How did those get through TSA anyway?

My dad was born in NC and I have some relatives still there. Immediate family relatives are living in Georgia near Atlanta (Delta's home base). I've flown many times down there mainly on holidays. Now that I live in SW NC I'm close to damn near everyone I care about. You should research a bit before opening your thoughtless mouth.

Which relative was unlucky/unwise enough to let you flop on their couch?

Or is Uncle Sam picking up the tab on this at the Hôtel de Dryout?

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:
How did those get through TSA anyway?

Because the TSA couldn't care less about weed. And they can't confiscate it.

Actually, the TSA doesn't seem to care about much of anything -- it's all for show. I accidentally left a freaking boxcutter in my carry-on. Sharp bunch, those TSA folks.

Although the bastards went through my suitcase today.

They readily confiscate small bottles of liquor.

Goober McTuber wrote:They readily confiscate small bottles of liquor.

I haven't done it, but a friend does regularly -- as long as they're 3.5 ounces or less, and contained in a 1-quart ziplock, and removed from your bag and placed in the bin, they don't care. The FAA does, but oddly enough, the FAA and TSA have little to do with each other (way to go, Government).

And they don't "confiscate" them -- they don't confiscate anything, since by law, they can't. They give you the option of keeping them, and not getting through to the gate. Or you can surrender them, and continue on your way. If they see "suspicious objects," they contact law enforcement (which is right there on site).

On a somewhat related note -- 6 weeks ago, when we flew to Nashville, the flight attendant came up the aisle offering coffee -- to everyone except the guy I travel with. He spoke up with "I'd like a cup of coffee"... and this cunt went off... "Don't talk to me like that!"

And that was pretty much the end of it...

or so we thought.

So, we get to the airport in Nashville, and pull into the gate, and we're told to remain in our seats. Then 4 Nashville cops come in, and hau;l him off the plane. I'm kind of freaking out (since I kind of had marijuana in my suitcase, and the bag might have been checked under his name), and got out of there ASAP.

Turns out, the cops were there for a "belligerent passenger." Except the catch was, he was sitting next to a Delta employee, who (out at the gate) told them he witnessed no such thing. They talked to a couple of other passengers in the area, who told the same story.

So, now the cops are fucking pissed. They didn't even just let him walk away -- they gave him a case number, and wanted him to file a criminal complaint against the flight attendant (something about "we've got better things to do." He hasn't persued it very far, since he's been busy as fuck, but Delta knows what happened. I see a lot of free flights in his future.


Ain't flying wonderful?

Dinsdale wrote: Turns out, the cops were there for a "belligerent passenger." Except the catch was, he was sitting next to a Delta employee, who (out at the gate) told them he witnessed no such thing. They talked to a couple of other passengers in the area, who told the same story.

Ain't flying wonderful?

My best friend has been a pilot for American Airlines over 15 years and told me not to piss off the air waitresses. If you give them any kind of crap they can say you are a "belligerent passenger" and report you. Then you would be put on the "No Fly" list. I've noticed on longer flights the air waitresses are 50 y/o+ and they are relatively cool. The younger ones are put on the regional jets for short hops and seem to be lazier with poor customer service.

There are many warnings about bringing medical pot across state lines. Are you saying they never get enforced?

Goober McTuber wrote:One other thing, Gay in Phoenix. The fact that you consider the numerous exchanges between me and shutyomouth as "flirting" goes a long ways towards explaining why you're permanently single.

One other thing you senile idiot, the fact that you don't understand a little bit of innocent yet deserved smack, makes you a humorless, clueless asshole. Which you have been since your very first post. I am not single, just not married. This is a very important distinction. I have been with my girlfriend for over twenty-five years, just never married.

So sarcasm is beyond your senile ability to comprehend. Fair enough you fat and wrinkled old prune-skinned bore.

Lay down in the dirt of your senior nap and just die already.

But much love and respect, asshole.

BarFlie wrote:

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:Did you really need an app for that one time you packed up all your bongs and flew to NC?

How did those get through TSA anyway?

My dad was born in NC and I have some relatives still there. Immediate family relatives are living in Georgia near Atlanta (Delta's home base). I've flown many times down there mainly on holidays. Now that I live in SW NC I'm close to damn near everyone I care about. You should research a bit before opening your thoughtless mouth.

You know what I like about you, Barf? You never take anything too seriously or personally. You don't get defensive, and you have a wonderful self-deprecating sense of humor that allows you to take all this smack stuff in stride.

what is going on here??

:?

Jay in Phoenix wrote:I have been with my girlfriend for over twenty-five years

Please extend to her my deepest sympathy.

Over 25 years? How old are you?

Sorry, I would have never guessed you're clever enough for sarcasm.

MgoBlue-LightSpecial wrote:You know what I like about you, Barf? You never take anything too seriously or personally. You don't get defensive, and you have a wonderful self-deprecating sense of humor that allows you to take all this smack stuff in stride.

Thanks Mgo, I actually get a kick out of how people like you still live in the 10+year old smackchat world that rarely gets laffs anymore. That and the radio shows keep me coming back for more. It's like visiting a time capsule.

Goober McTuber wrote:

Jay in Phoenix wrote:I have been with my girlfriend for over twenty-five years

Please extend to her my deepest sympathy.

Over 25 years? How old are you?

Sorry, I would have never guessed you're clever enough for sarcasm.

How old? Much younger than you Goober, by years.

Sarcasm is a appreciated and applied from the eye of the beholder.

Your cataracts eliminate you from this, so you have my sympathy.

Go wax your nuts and go back to sleep old man.

Shlomart Ben Yisrael wrote:Is this one of the 7 Stages of Message Board Female Flame-Outs?

1. Offer to show yer tits
2. Become angry that nobody wants to see yer tits
3. Sink into depression about unseen tits
4. Pity Party of Self-deprecating humour
5. Denial
6. etc...

Your behavioral matrix pretty much flies off the rails at #2. The drawing board is waiting...

BarFlie wrote:Thanks Mgo, I actually get a kick out of how people like you still live in the 10+year old smackchat world that rarely gets laffs anymore.

Well, if I can't provide laffs then I suppose kicks are the next best thing. You're welcome.

The last year and a half I have had the pleasure of watching the TSA dog and pony show up close. It is worse than you think. The amount of gubmint money poured into this fiasco really is amazing. I am kind of ashamed that my paycheck is derived largely from this sham, but, then I go out and buy myself something nice and the shame kinda wears off. You would not believe the amount of stuff that gets handed over at the checkpoint every day. Mind boggling. And every bit of it gets shitcanned. And Dims is right, they don't give a fukk about weed. The trace detection equipment I work on is tuned to look only for explosives. We have the same equipment at prisons where they are setup to look for narcotics.

mvscal wrote:

Shlomart Ben Yisrael wrote:Is this one of the 7 Stages of Message Board Female Flame-Outs?

1. Offer to show yer tits
2. Become angry that nobody wants to see yer tits
3. Sink into depression about unseen tits
4. Pity Party of Self-deprecating humour
5. Denial
6. etc...

Your behavioral matrix pretty much flies off the rails at #2. The drawing board is waiting...

It would be rad if it was slightly true. I'm a happy woman.

smackaholic wrote:The last year and a half I have had the pleasure of watching the TSA dog and pony show up close. It is worse than you think. The amount of gubmint money poured into this fiasco really is amazing. I am kind of ashamed that my paycheck is derived largely from this sham, but, then I go out and buy myself something nice and the shame kinda wears off. You would not believe the amount of stuff that gets handed over at the checkpoint every day. Mind boggling. And every bit of it gets shitcanned. And Dims is right, they don't give a fukk about weed. The trace detection equipment I work on is tuned to look only for explosives. We have the same equipment at prisons where they are setup to look for narcotics.

The TSA is a government jobs program. Period. Full stop.

Left Seater wrote:

smackaholic wrote:The last year and a half I have had the pleasure of watching the TSA dog and pony show up close. It is worse than you think. The amount of gubmint money poured into this fiasco really is amazing. I am kind of ashamed that my paycheck is derived largely from this sham, but, then I go out and buy myself something nice and the shame kinda wears off. You would not believe the amount of stuff that gets handed over at the checkpoint every day. Mind boggling. And every bit of it gets shitcanned. And Dims is right, they don't give a fukk about weed. The trace detection equipment I work on is tuned to look only for explosives. We have the same equipment at prisons where they are setup to look for narcotics.

The TSA is a government jobs program. Period. Full stop.

That is the case with pretty damn near all gov agencies. Also, I have seen many TSO's use it as a vehicle to move on to better paying fed gigs. TSA is looked at as a good way to get "into the system".

Jay in Phoenix wrote:How old? Much younger than you Goober, by years.

Really? Years? Wow, that's a lot. So how old is the jail photo? 7, 8 years? And you look to be pushing 50 then. Go ahead and lie about your age. All the ladies do.

Punchline in Phoenix wrote:Sarcasm is a appreciated and applied from the eye of the beholder.

Your cataracts eliminate you from this, so you have my sympathy.

You wouldn't think this is funny if you've known someone who suffered from cataracts.

Goober McTuber wrote:

Punchline in Phoenix wrote:Sarcasm is a appreciated and applied from the eye of the beholder.

Your cataracts eliminate you from this, so you have my sympathy.

You wouldn't think this is funny if you've known someone who suffered from cataracts.

Goober McTuber wrote:

Jay in Phoenix wrote:How old? Much younger than you Goober, by years.

Really? Years? Wow, that's a lot. So how old is the jail photo? 7, 8 years? And you look to be pushing 50 then. Go ahead and lie about your age. All the ladies do.

Just to satisfy the fragile ego of Gobbles, that photo was taken in 2001. At that time I was pushing 39. The gray in the goatee can be attributed perhaps, to my mothers DNA, as she went completely gray in her late twenties. This was due to a condition of Scarlet Fever, but every member of my family has grayed early.

My goatee was experiencing gray infusion when I was about 35. That jail photo was taken when I was 40.

You do the math Gobbles McTubesteak. And shove your wrinkled double chin straight up your prune ass.

Much love and respect Goobs.

Now die in a cataract blinded fire, while suffering cancer of the prostate and liver failure from your alcoholism.

Hugs and knuckle bumps you senile prune. :wink:

So who's the guy with the faced blacked out?

Screw_Michigan wrote:So who's the guy with the faced blacked out?

I think that was Luther in the middle from Rip City and Charger Mike on the left.

Jay in Phoenix wrote:

Goober McTuber wrote:Go ahead and lie about your age. All the ladies do.

Just to satisfy the fragile ego of Gobbles, that photo was taken in 2001. At that time I was pushing 39.


My goatee was experiencing gray infusion when I was about 35. That jail photo was taken when I was 40.

You do the math Gobbles McTubesteak.

Well, somebody needs to do the math because it's yet another task that's obviously beyond your meager capabilities. Looks like you aged a couple of years just cobbling together that post. In other words, you're probably less than 10 years my junior, Junior. You're even older than shutyomouth.

Time to find another angle, you tedious douche.

So, which is greater?

The Jay haggard factor, or the Charger Mike homosexual factor?

Luther in blackface.

Goober McTuber wrote:Luther in blackface.

Yes!!!

Check out the purse Gay in Phx is wearing.