My kid's teacher tried to pull that on him by saying they were going to use a microscope to look at cells because cells are too small to see without one. My kid pipes in with "I can see a chicken egg" and the teacher tries to bob and weave instead of just admitting he used words improperly.
Re: Fuck if this didn't bring the funny
Posted: Mon Jan 23, 2017 5:23 pm
by Dinsdale
Well, if you keep chickens in California, and they lay eggs, it will have a ripple effect that will influence commercial egg producers in South Carolina, therefore Congress has the legal ability to regulate your chicken coop.
Duh.
Re: Fuck if this didn't bring the funny
Posted: Mon Jan 23, 2017 5:48 pm
by Moving Sale
Fucking assholes. I wonder if our PedOTUS is aware of this illegal use of the USC. If I had Twitter I would give him 140 characters of my mind.
Re: Fuck if this didn't bring the funny
Posted: Mon Jan 23, 2017 6:17 pm
by Mikey
Thanks Kellyanne. We have now officially entered the era of "alternative facts."
Actually this presents some great opportunities, not only in our personal lives but in business too. If we don't like the facts, just make up some alternative ones. What could be easier?
CHUCK TODD: --answer the question of why the president asked the White House press secretary to come out in front of the podium for the first time and utter a falsehood? Why did he do that? It undermines the credibility of the entire White House press office--
KELLYANNE CONWAY: No it doesn't.
CHUCK TODD: --on day one.
KELLYANNE CONWAY: Don't be so overly dramatic about it, Chuck. What-- You're saying it's a falsehood. And they're giving Sean Spicer, our press secretary, gave alternative facts to that. But the point remains--
CHUCK TODD: Wait a minute-- Alternative facts?
KELLYANNE CONWAY: --that there’s--
CHUCK TODD: Alternative facts? Four of the five facts he uttered, the one thing he got right--
KELLYANNE CONWAY: --hey, Chuck, why-- Hey Chuck--
CHUCK TODD: --was Zeke Miller. Four of the five facts he uttered were just not true. Look, alternative facts are not facts. They're falsehoods.
Re: Fuck if this didn't bring the funny
Posted: Mon Jan 23, 2017 6:43 pm
by Moving Sale
And down the rabbit hole we go.
Re: Fuck if this didn't bring the funny
Posted: Mon Jan 23, 2017 6:59 pm
by BSmack
Yeah me too I was pretty stoked about the Steelers winning. I'll be watching the alternative Super Bowl.
Re: Fuck if this didn't bring the funny
Posted: Mon Jan 23, 2017 9:54 pm
by Left Seater
Wait, a politician or his handler lied? And we are going to freak out about it?
Re: Fuck if this didn't bring the funny
Posted: Mon Jan 23, 2017 10:19 pm
by BSmack
Left Seater wrote:Wait, a politician or his handler lied? And we are going to freak out about it?
If Obama did it you would be foaming at the mouth
Re: Fuck if this didn't bring the funny
Posted: Mon Jan 23, 2017 10:31 pm
by Mikey
Left Seater wrote:Wait, a politician or his handler lied? And we are going to freak out about it?
Who's freaking out here?
The Administration lied, the press called them on it. The Administration came out and excoriated the press for calling them on it, lied again by claiming that it wasn't a lie, claimed that they should be able to make up their own facts whenever they want, and freaked out that the whole media is against them. If they had just let it drop, or said OK we exaggerated a little, this would have ended before it started.
Re: Fuck if this didn't bring the funny
Posted: Mon Jan 23, 2017 10:58 pm
by Moving Sale
Left Seater wrote:Wait, a politician or his handler lied? And we are going to freak out about it?
You really are dumb. This isn't about the lie. It's about the explanation. Ask Nixon, because WWJD says you are going to hell.
Re: Fuck if this didn't bring the funny
Posted: Mon Jan 23, 2017 11:19 pm
by Mikey
Moving Sale wrote:
Left Seater wrote:Wait, a politician or his handler lied? And we are going to freak out about it?
You really are dumb. This isn't about the lie. It's about the explanation. Ask Nixon, because WWJD says you are going to hell.
Careful. If you start making sense you might get called a snowflake.
Re: Fuck if this didn't bring the funny
Posted: Mon Jan 23, 2017 11:53 pm
by Left Seater
Ok, a politician or their handlers lied and then tried to wordsmith it? We are going to freak out about this one?
Re: Fuck if this didn't bring the funny
Posted: Tue Jan 24, 2017 12:08 am
by Moving Sale
This isn't wordsmithing. She is saying it is ok to lie. Three days in and were are already at new levels of scum. Someplace Nixon is smiling. Is there anything you will not excuse for these nazis?
Re: Fuck if this didn't bring the funny
Posted: Tue Jan 24, 2017 12:22 am
by Left Seater
Follow along. None of it is ok. Just nice to see the press and others now agree. Amazing what happens when the letter behind the name of the office holder changes.
Re: Fuck if this didn't bring the funny
Posted: Tue Jan 24, 2017 12:27 am
by Moving Sale
So you are regretting you voted for the Orange pedobear three days in. Good show... For a moron.
Re: Fuck if this didn't bring the funny
Posted: Tue Jan 24, 2017 2:40 am
by Dinsdale
Left Seater wrote:We are going to freak out about this one?
I'm all about calling a spade[/notracist] a spade[/notracist}...
You're a fucking idiot.
And if you can't figure out why, then I rest my case.
Fucking apologize... please?
Re: Fuck if this didn't bring the funny
Posted: Tue Jan 24, 2017 2:46 am
by Dinsdale
Dinsdale wrote:
There's a "women's march" in rainy downtown Portland today, and the turnout is quite impressive -- somewhere in the 30-40,000 range.
I'll give the pathetically undersexed cat ladies credit. There was over 100,000 of them. And being cat ladies, they didn't fuck anything up. The march was a little over a mile, and I'll take a guess at least half of the fatties needed a medic before the halfway point.
They didn't make so much as a single intelligent point... but they were peaceful, and I'm sure plenty of rug-munchers got their long-neglected stench-trench serviced, so maybe they'll chill a bit, and maybe STFU for a while.
#SilverLinings
Re: Fuck if this didn't bring the funny
Posted: Wed Jan 25, 2017 1:24 am
by Goober McTuber
I heard Madtown had between 75,000 and 100,000 of them. Total population is about 240,000. Granted some came from the suburbs (i.e., Iowa), but Chitown only had about 250,000. Bitches representing, yo.
Re: Fuck if this didn't bring the funny
Posted: Wed Jan 25, 2017 2:48 am
by Left Seater
I was in Des Moines this weekend and dealt with a few unattractive women in the hotel. The news report showed they filled less than a city block. Might have had something to do with the weather though. No damage done and it didn't slow me down getting to and from the rink so all good.
Re: Fuck if this didn't bring the funny
Posted: Wed Jan 25, 2017 3:33 am
by Diego in Seattle
Left Seater wrote:I was in Des Moines this weekend and dealt with a few unattractive women in the hotel. The news report showed they filled less than a city block. Might have had something to do with the weather though. No damage done and it didn't slow me down getting to and from the rink buffet so all good.
FTFY
Re: Fuck if this didn't bring the funny
Posted: Wed Jan 25, 2017 3:40 am
by Left Seater
Long way to go for a fat joke there bud. But props to you, you called me fat.
Re: Fuck if this didn't bring the funny
Posted: Wed Jan 25, 2017 4:10 am
by Mikey
Left Seater wrote:Long way to go for a fat joke there bud. But props to you, you called me fat.
Scrote would be proud.
Re: Fuck if this didn't bring the funny
Posted: Wed Jan 25, 2017 4:53 pm
by Dinsdale
Since the Snowflakes didn't like taking rubber bullets to the fucking face last week, they've decided they're going to shut the streets and freeways down this afternoon. And once again, I need to drive through the thick of it this afternoon.
If unlike the last nothingburger, this one gets good, I'll try to get pics -- the key word being "try." I was stuck in traffic behind a wreck a couple of days ago, and tried to get pics of the chick sitting on the side of the road next to the car, rolling up her sleeve, tying off, and shooting up... but the pics didn't come out for shit. Figured you guys would have really enjoyed them.
Re: Fuck if this didn't bring the funny
Posted: Thu Jan 26, 2017 6:24 pm
by Dinsdale
No traffic problems here. They met at Pioneer Square, and for their first stop, blocked an adjacent intersection:
Sometimes children just need a good spanking. The new mayor took the gloves off the cops, and has let it be known the shit that went on under his predecessors no longer flies.
Didn't bring the even the slightest bit of funny for me. So... who or what are we fucking?
Re: Fuck if this didn't bring the funny
Posted: Thu Jan 26, 2017 7:28 pm
by Moving Sale
Dinsdale wrote:No traffic problems here. They met at Pioneer Square, and for their first stop, blocked an adjacent intersection:
Sometimes children just need a good spanking. The new mayor took the gloves off the cops, and has let it be known the shit that went on under his predecessors no longer flies.
Why are those brownshirts wearing black? At least they didn't forget their jackboots.
Speaking of jackboots. How does licking them taste dims?
Re: Fuck if this didn't bring the funny
Posted: Thu Jan 26, 2017 7:45 pm
by Dinsdale
Those people were trampling on the rights of others. The response was appropriate.
But somehow here in Portland, "protesting" has become a hobby, not a cause. They have a right to protest -- they don't have a right to restrict my (or anyone else's) travel. Pretty simple.
Re: Fuck if this didn't bring the funny
Posted: Thu Jan 26, 2017 8:13 pm
by Moving Sale
Dinsdale wrote:Those people were trampling on the rights of others. The response was appropriate.
But somehow here in Portland, "protesting" has become a hobby, not a cause. They have a right to protest -- they don't have a right to restrict my (or anyone else's) travel. Pretty simple.
Please compare and contrast rights verses response herr dims.
Re: Fuck if this didn't bring the funny
Posted: Thu Jan 26, 2017 8:14 pm
by Moving Sale
Don't forget to use the USC in your answer herr fuckstain.
Re: Fuck if this didn't bring the funny
Posted: Thu Jan 26, 2017 8:24 pm
by Dinsdale
OK.
The protesters have a right to unrestricted use of the roads as long as them doing so doesn't interfere with others' unrestricted use of the roads.
Thompson v. Smith (and no, I didn't have to look that up).
The basic intent of the protesters was clearly to interfere with the use of the roads by other citizens. The police are obligated to uphold the rights of the many. The response might have been heavy-handed, but the group responsible made it clear through social media that they were looking for confrontation with the police.
Re: Fuck if this didn't bring the funny
Posted: Thu Jan 26, 2017 10:09 pm
by Diego in Seattle
What was heavy-handed about the response?
Re: Fuck if this didn't bring the funny
Posted: Thu Jan 26, 2017 10:29 pm
by Dinsdale
Diego in Seattle wrote:What was heavy-handed about the response?
They might have issued some lawful orders before going to the takedown.
Re: Fuck if this didn't bring the funny
Posted: Thu Jan 26, 2017 11:01 pm
by Diego in Seattle
Dinsdale wrote:
Diego in Seattle wrote:What was heavy-handed about the response?
They might have issued some lawful orders before going to the takedown.
And you know they they didn't how?
Re: Fuck if this didn't bring the funny
Posted: Thu Jan 26, 2017 11:16 pm
by Dinsdale
If they did, the suspects weren't given adequate time to respond. We have some pretty solid evidence of this.
Re: Fuck if this didn't bring the funny
Posted: Thu Jan 26, 2017 11:40 pm
by Moving Sale
Dinsdale wrote:OK.
The response might have been heavy-handed, but the group responsible made it clear through social media that they were looking for confrontation with the police.
Way to kind of backpedal but then not really backpedal and then mash your fat head on your keyboard. Fucking nazi.
Re: Fuck if this didn't bring the funny
Posted: Fri Jan 27, 2017 3:16 am
by Diego in Seattle
Dinsdale wrote:If they did, the suspects weren't given adequate time to respond. We have some pretty solid evidence of this.
The video starts just 10 seconds before that team went in. What happened before that? Where's the rest of the video?
Jump to conclusions much?
Re: Fuck if this didn't bring the funny
Posted: Fri Jan 27, 2017 4:35 am
by The Big Pickle
Same incident, but better angle. I love Grandma giving the police the Big Thumbs UP!
Re: Fuck if this didn't bring the funny
Posted: Fri Jan 27, 2017 5:34 am
by Moving Sale
Welcome to Vlad's America.
Re: Fuck if this didn't bring the funny
Posted: Fri Jan 27, 2017 8:00 am
by atmdad
Moving Sale wrote:Welcome to Vlad's America.
???
Explain your issue with the police dispelling a group of people that are shutting down the right of passage of everyday Joe's trying to go about their daily business because they are displeased at the outcome of a legitimate election process that has been in place for over 220 years.
I'm no Trumpster, but these jackoffs need to grow up and realize that their only participation trophy is going to be a goose egg on the noggin from a police baton when they believe their right to be stupid trumps the rights of everyday citizens to go about their lives.
I've found that after 50 years that if you put in an honest days work, treat others with respect and dignity, love one another, and don't do overtly stupid things then the police tend to leave you alone, the government is tolerable and life is pretty much enjoyable.
Re: Fuck if this didn't bring the funny
Posted: Fri Jan 27, 2017 8:27 am
by atmdad
atmdad wrote: if you put in an honest days work, treat others with respect and dignity, love one another, and don't do overtly stupid things
Fuck, that is going to really resonate with the audience here.
