88 Went To Mass Today

[M Club]

Much MUCH of the Bible is clearly not meant to be taken literally.

how convenient. i suppose g-d wrote which parts you're supposed to take figuratively? or do you just know what parts those are?

[poptart]

95% of it is common sense, M Club.

And the other 5% really doesn't matter.

Just read the book normally and you can understand it.

One example (of COUNTLESS), already posted.


"He maketh me to lie down in green pastures ..."


Literal or allegory?

[M Club]

god created the world six days and six nights.

literal or allegory?


some snake had a chat with eve.

literal or allegory?


the angel of death went a looking for a bunch of egyptian households that forgot to paint their doors with the blood of a lamb.

literal or allegory?


noah fit a mating pair of every animal species on his boat, including those not endemic to the area he lived in.

literal or allegory?


jesus ascended to heaven

literal or allegory?


god scribbled a bunch of rules on stone tablets.

literal or allegory?


you're right, though: 95% of it is common sense.

[poptart]

M Club, it is important to note that all that is "required" of a person to be a Christian is to believe and accept that Jesus is the Christ and that He did in fact rise from the dead.

god created the world six days and six nights.

literal or allegory?

I take it literally because it is written as a straight forward literal account.

some snake had a chat with eve.

literal or allegory?

We aren't told that it was a snake.
It was the serpent.

But yes, as the above question, I take it literally.

the angel of death went a looking for a bunch of egyptian households that forgot to paint their doors with the blood of a lamb.

literal or allegory?

Literal - written as such.

noah fit a mating pair of every animal species on his boat, including those not endemic to the area he lived in.

literal or allegory?

Literal - again, written as such.
Two of each "kind" of animal.

jesus ascended to heaven

literal or allegory?

Literal - same.

god scribbled a bunch of rules on stone tablets.

literal or allegory?

Literal -written as such.

[smackaholic]

beating this dead horse of a thread for 18 pages.

[MgoBlue-LightSpecial]

Incest (Leviticus 18:6-18, 20:11-12,14,17,19-21)
Sex with an animal (Exodus 22:19, Leviticus 20:16)

Pray for us.

Sin,

[poptart]

haha, Mgo.

If literal, why aren't Christians clamoring for the enactment of laws that require the punishments dictated by the Bible?

And if these rules are no longer the Word, what was the basis for their repeal? And does that make the initial rule-making a holy fuck-up?

The basis for the "repeal" of the rules (if one wants to put it that way - it's actually fulfillment of the law) is that Christ is the end of the law, or the final fulfillment of it.


God promised ...

Jeremiah 31:33
but this shall be the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel; After those days, saith the LORD, I will put my law in their inward parts, and write it in their hearts; and will be their God, and they shall be my people.


Romans 10:4
For Christ is the end of the law for righteousness to every one that believeth.


God has placed all things in Christ, who IS the Word.

[Smackie Chan]

Is the purpose of all this to try to get poptart and others to give up their faith and/or for the non-believers to "see the light"? If so, it's an exercise in futility in both directions. If it's just good "message boarding," then I guess there might be a point to it. I get the smack element of it, but going to the religion card to run smack ran its course long ago (my sigs notwithstanding).

But maybe I'm wrong. Show of hands from anyone whose religious beliefs or lack thereof have been altered as a result of reading this thread and others like it.

[War Wagon]

Show of hands from anyone whose religious beliefs or lack thereof have been altered as a result of reading this thread and others like it.

<---raises hand.... wait, that fu8cked up email you sent me might have done it, though.

[Smackie Chan]

Show of hands from anyone whose religious beliefs or lack thereof have been altered as a result of reading this thread and others like it.

<---raises hand

Really? You now question your faith?

that fu8cked up email you sent me might have done it, though.

So you jumped my shit for opening the link after I described it to you, but you opened it after knowing what it was? I knew you would. Pretty fucked up, huh? Wonder if dude lived. Looked like he was still breathing. If so, I'll bet his friends now call him "buttface."

[War Wagon]

Really? You now question your faith?

I've always had questions about faith, but not from much of anything posted here.

So you jumped my shit for opening the link after I described it to you, but you opened it after knowing what it was?

No, actually. I took your word for it and like I said, weak stomach over here.... and I was just looking for an excuse to post that REM video. Great song.

[Smackie Chan]

Curiosity is getting to me. What link are you guys referring to?

It's a RealPlayer email attachment. If I knew how, I'd post it here so everyone would hate me.

[Mikey]

Curiosity is getting to me. What link are you guys referring to?

I think it's a link with a video showing mvscal, dressed as a beautiful Spanish matador, stabs Pikkkle repeatedly with his espada while Pikkkle shouts "más!! más!! más!!" in paroxysms of ecstacy with each emphatic plunge.

Not sure though, I haven't seen it.

[Smackie Chan]

I think it's a link with a video showing mvscal, dressed as a beautiful Spanish matador, stabs Pikkkle repeatedly with his espada while Pikkkle shouts "más!! más!! más!!" in paroxysms of ecstacy with each emphatic plunge.

Close, but not that bad.

[BSmack]

MrsO and I attend our 7:30 service/mass (Catholic light aka Episcopal). I call it the "wham, bam, thank you God" service as it has no music, allows a lot of quiet introspection and meditation which I find soothing."Old people's express mass" is probably a more polite way of putting it.
BTW--- one former poster whose input in this thread would have been interesting: Mike the Lab Rat. Where the hell is TLR? I hope he is OK. Bri ???

The Lab Rat is semi-retired. He picked up a new teaching gig and has a slightly different perspective on religion than he did when he was posting here. OK, he has a radically different perspective on religion. He's an atheist. His position here would be that of a slightly more vituperative 88.

[Goober McTuber]

So it doesn't really matter where the Lab Rat is now. What's important is that he'll now be going to hell.

[Mikey]

So it doesn't really matter where the Lab Rat is now. What's important is that he'll now be going to hell.

Isnt't he already in Western NY?

[Goober McTuber]

I believe that's Purgatory. He could go either way.

[PSUFAN]

As in to Buffalo or Syracuse?

[War Wagon]

The Lab Rat is semi-retired. He picked up a new teaching gig and has a slightly different perspective on religion than he did when he was posting here. OK, he has a radically different perspective on religion. He's an atheist. His position here would be that of a slightly more vituperative 88.

Radically different?

And you know this how?

That's surprising.

Lab Rat always seemed like a church going stand up fella'. Maybe not spiritual in any sense but certainly a God fearing man most likely brought up Catholic. Hard to believe he so departed from the way.

[Shlomart Ben Yisrael]

Lab Rat always seemed like a church going stand up fella'. Maybe not spiritual in any sense but certainly a God fearing man most likely brought up Catholic. Hard to believe he so departed from the way.

Do you even read this board?

[War Wagon]

Shaddup, Marty... if that's possible. I was debating Lab Rat at TNW, long before T1B existed.

And while I have zero desire to proselytize or quote bible verses ala poptart, let me state this about faith to those who have none.

It's like trying to describe a rainbow to a man who's been blind since birth.

[Shlomart Ben Yisrael]

Will you get drunk and embarrass yourself tonight?



Stupid question.

[War Wagon]

Will you take this thread to page 19 with non-sequiters?

You've got nothing, Marty... other than a Star Trek the next generation fetish. Did you actually have something to say?

Well say it then, putz.

[Shlomart Ben Yisrael]

[Shlomart Ben Yisrael]

at you, wags

not "with" you

[BSmack]

Radically different?

When he posted here, Mike was a member of his local Episcopalian Church.

And you know this how?

Because he told me.

That's surprising.

Lab Rat always seemed like a church going stand up fella'. Maybe not spiritual in any sense but certainly a God fearing man most likely brought up Catholic. Hard to believe he so departed from the way.

I'm not even remotely shocked. In his heart he is a scientist first. It was only a matter of time before reason would track him down.

[Shlomart Ben Yisrael]

For the record, Lab Scat believes that young people, like vampires, drain him of his vitality, which is why as a teacher, he instinctively gives them shitty grades. Because he is a bitter, twisted old fuck who sneers at youth and secretly jerks off to weird fetish porn. I bet he only goes to his fake church to stare at young boys crotches, with rape fantasies occupying his mind.

He is like TiC, only not as much fun.

[War Wagon]

at you, wags

not "with" you

At the risk of this going to page 19 and me being on top...

You're the board dingleberry Marty, not the spokesman you fantasize of being. Straight up with no handicap, Jon would kick your ass.

Get lost, poseur.

[Shlomart Ben Yisrael]

Lab Scat is the guy who'll be telling your children and grandchildren to "get off his lawn". Guaranteed.

[Shlomart Ben Yisrael]

at you, wags

not "with" you

At the risk of this going to page 19 and me being on top...

You're the board dingleberry Marty, not the spokesman you fantasize of being. Straight up with no handicap, Jon would kick your ass.

Get lost, poseur.

Why don't you crush another Miller Lite, you confused, suburban bumpkin.
Do you ever get hand cramps or rope burn from all the nutsacks you swing off of here?

Don't let your being completely uninformed stop you from hitting SUBMIT, though. Jumping into a thread discussion armed with half a wit seems to be your forte.

[War Wagon]

Do you ever get hand cramps or rope burn from all the nutsacks you swing off of here?

Link?

There's not an admin here I haven't pissed in their Cheerios multiple times, dimwit.

There's not a poster here I wouldn't take on.

Now, if you mean not being an annoying assboil just to be an annoying assboil, color me guilty... assboil.

You fancy yourself quite colorful... tch, you suck.

[Shlomart Ben Yisrael]

You fancy yourself quite colourful... tch, you suck.

FTFY

[poptart]

About the Rat, as I see it, there are two possibilities.

1. He never trusted Christ to begin with.

2. God lives in him and he's walking around deceived now.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20
What! know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?
For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's.


When a person receives Christ, he is no longer his own.
A believer has been bought with a price and he is God's.

If this is the case with the Rat, and he thinks he can get away, he's SOL. lol

[War Wagon]

You fancy yourself quite colourful... tch, you suck.

FTFY

I'll take that as your surrender signature, just as the Japs surrendered on the battleship Missouri.

Good move. I didn't want to have to invade Canada.

[Shlomart Ben Yisrael]

About the Rat, as I see it, there are two possibilities.

1. He never trusted Christ to begin with.

2. God lives in him and he's walking around deceived now.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20
What! know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?
For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's.


When a person receives Christ, he is no longer his own.
A believer has been bought with a price and he is God's.

If this is the case with the Rat, and he thinks he can get away, he's SOL. lol

WHEWWWW!!!

This thread was certainly taking a dangerous turn toward the funnay! Glad you could swoop in and set it back on track, 'tart.

[Shlomart Ben Yisrael]

Good move. I didn't want to have to invade Canada.

Why don't you invade a 12 Step Group, you shattered old fruitcup?

[War Wagon]

Because then I wouldn't have time to put you in your special happy place, Marty.

Are you a secretive Raider fan?

[mvscal]

Good move. I didn't want to have to invade Canada.

Why don't you invade a 12 Step Group, you shattered old fruitcup?

Any minute now you will be obliterated KC style. Please be patient while they work through some technical difficulties.

[War Wagon]

that musta' been a Toyota forklift.